“Don’t look at me like that,” Kelli said sharply.
“I’m sorry.”
“And stop saying you’re fucking sorry!”
I flinched.
Kelli’s cheeks turned red, and tears formed in the corner of her eyes. “If you hadn’t shown up at the reunion, none of this would have ever happened. You upset her and drove her away. And then Lina, in all her fucking glory, drove like a mad woman when I tried to tell her to slow down, and now look. Look at what the two of you have done to me.”
“Kelli, neither of us ever wanted this to happen.”
“Look at me, Cal!” Her yell was broken by a sob, and she looked down to her lap as she started to cry in earnest.
I didn’t know what to do. So, I ran my hand down my face and fought the urge to fall apart like she was. Guilt curled up in my gut like a spiteful little creature, hell-bent on tearing me apart from the inside out. “You deserve so much better than this, Kelli. And Lina… she still has no clue what happened.”
“You mean what she did to me?” Kelli asked, lifting her tear-filled gaze to me. She laughed without humor and shook her head. “Lucky her. She gets to forget.”
“She’s forgotten all the good, too.”
“What good? There is no good left. Not anymore. Not for me.” Kelli sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “It’s over for me.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Fuck you, Cal. Take her shit, and get out of here. I don’t want to see either of you ever again.”
Kelli turned herself around. It was a struggle for her and a struggle for me to watch without offering to help. I knew if I tried, she would scream bloody murder at me. Eventually, she wheeled herself into the living room, and I could hear her crying as Judy came back down the stairs. She paused in front of the entrance to the living room, frowned, and came over to me.
She held out two large bags. I took them. “Thank you, Judy.”
“No problem. I’m sorry about all this.”
“Don’t be,” I said, trying to smile. I failed miserably.
Judy stepped outside and closed the front door behind her. She wrapped her arms tight around herself to ward off the chill. Apparently, her thick Christmas sweater didn’t do the trick. She looked both ways down the street, as if wishing another distraction would arrive, and then turned her gaze back to me. “Take care of Lina, will you? She’s a second daughter to me, and I wish I could be there for her too right now. I just… I can’t with Kelli like this. You understand?”
“Of course I do. You have enough to worry about. Let me know if I can do anything.”
“I will. And what Kelli said. Try not to think about it too much. I have faith that she’ll come around. She loves Lina. It was just a mistake.” Judy sucked in a shaky breath as her bottom lip began to tremble with grief. “I have to believe it was just a mistake.”
I reached out and put my hand over her wrist. “It was, Judy.”
18
Lina
There was no way of knowing if staying up in my room for three hours by myself after having my afternoon shower was out of character for me or not. But nobody came and knocked on the bedroom door while I flipped through one of the romance books on the nightstand, and no one called me downstairs, and no one made me feel like I was being… strange.
So, I stayed where I was and lay on my bed completely alone, trying to figure out who I was without all the distractions of the hospital staff and monitors, or Cal, or his father, or his adorable son.
And my mind was nothing but blank, like white noise on an old television set, rabbit ears and all.
“How do you know what everything is but not who everyone is?” I wondered aloud around six in the evening. The sun had set a long time ago, and I was reading by the warm amber glow of the lamp beside the bed. The shade was mint green and had little crystals hanging out from under it. It was the only feature in the room with any sort of feminine qualities—besides the romance novels.
I closed the book in my lap and reached out to play with some of the crystals. They danced at my touch, little fractures of light all up the walls and ceiling. I sighed and let my hand fall to my side.
Trying to remember was infuriating. And confusing. And somehow not emotional at all. It was like wading through very still, lukewarm water. Nothing felt out of place. Nothing was a shock to the senses. It was all just warm and mildly comfortable.
There was a soft knock at the door. I stared at it, wondering dubiously if it had only been my imagination. Then someone spoke.
“Lina? It’s Cal. I just picked up some of your things. I’ve left them by the door for you. If you’d like, you can come down and join the rest of us for dinner. My father is a pretty good cook. He’s whipped up his famous chicken enchiladas.”
I sat up and let my legs hang off the side of the bed. The plush carpet was warm and cozy between my toes as I wiggled them. “I’ll be down in a couple minutes,” I said.
I heard Cal shift his weight on the other side of the door. A floorboard creaked. “All right. Take your time. I’ll see you down there.”
“Okay.”
I waited until the sound of his footfalls down the hall faded to nothing and opened the bedroom door to find two massive, ruby-red suitcases waiting for me. I lugged them in and hoisted them up onto the bed before flipping them open. Something tingled in my stomach. Excitement. Maybe something in here would jog my memory. Maybe holding something of mine in my hands would stir something. Anything.
I found myself looking down at two overstuffed suitcases of things that didn’t make me feel anything. It was all just stuff. Unfamiliar stuff.
High-heeled shoes and elegant blouses. A hairdryer. Round brush. Makeup. More high heels. A pair of over the knee boots. A pair of fuzzy white slippers. More makeup. Expensive makeup at that.
I scratched the back of my head, and after fifteen minutes of staring aimlessly down at the contents of a life I didn’t remember, I opted for the only thing that spoke to me: a loose white sweater and a pair of jeans. I got dressed and hurried downstairs. I had already made them wait too long for me. I didn’t have time to worry about my hair or my makeup.
In fact, I found that I didn’t care.
All the makeup in the bag suggested that my old self would have certainly cared.
I found the three generations of sons in the kitchen, and it was a nice kitchen. Dark cabinets lined the walls and were covered with even darker countertops. Pot lights in the ceiling cast the whole room with bright but not stark light. There were Christmas magnets on the fridge holding printed out photographs in place. Colorful letter magnets had been arranged to spell “Asher” and “Ho Ho Ho”.
Cal was standing at the counter, sipping a beer while Asher set the table. His father, Nick, was bent over the oven, peering inside. He had an oven mitt on and was in the middle of telling the others that dinner only needed five more minutes when Cal spotted me.
“You look nice,” he said. “How do they feel?”
I looked down at my sweater and jeans and shrugged. “Like I’ve never worn them before.”
Cal’s face sank a little, but he slapped his smile back on. “Well, in time, I’m sure things will start falling into place. Did you go through everything?”
I nodded and tugged at the sleeves of my sweater, drawing them down over my fingers. “I did. Nothing felt like it was mine. Can I be honest?”
Cal blinked. “Of course.”
“It all felt a little… gaudy.”
Cal snickered and so did Nick, who put his back to me to hide his smile.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Cal said quickly. “But when I saw the red suitcases, I may or may not have had the same thought.”
I smiled. “I’m glad I’m not alone.”
“Would you like a drink?” Cal asked.
“Just water would be great,” I said.
“Ash, could you get Lina a glass of water?”
Ash
er, who had just done a lap around the kitchen table to straighten out the red napkins and cutlery, nodded eagerly. “Would you like ice, Lina?”
I smiled at the little guy as he shuffled past me on slippery socks. “Sure. Thank you.”
Asher filled up a glass with ice and water from the dispenser on the fridge. Then he handed it to me and went back to making sure the dinner table looked just right. I noticed that the salt and pepper shaker set in the middle of the table were Mr. and Mrs. Claus. They looked old. Bits of paint were chipping off.
I wondered if they had been Cal’s mother’s. Or if another woman had bought them for him. They seemed an odd thing for a man to purchase for himself.
Nick took his oven mitts off and plucked a beer from the counter beside the oven. He took a sip and smacked his lips. “Is your room comfortable?”
I nodded. “Very. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude and hide from you all up there. It was just really nice to have some peace and quiet.”
“Quite understandable,” Nick said. “Sometimes, I lock myself away from these two clowns, too.”
Asher and Cal came alive with defensive silliness, and I giggled as Nick winked at me. I made my way over to the oven. “Is this usually my job? Cooking? Cleaning? That sort of thing?”
Nick frowned. The expression was gone as soon as it came. “Sometimes. You help out wherever it is needed, and we all participate in that.”
The timer on the stove went off, and Nick warned me to back away so I didn’t get burned when he pulled open the door. He slid the mitts back on and pulled out a tray piled high with the most amazing looking and smelling enchiladas I had ever seen. Well, that might have been an exaggeration. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen them before. Or eaten them. Surely, I had.
We filled our plates, and I topped off my water before everyone took their seats at the table. Asher was sitting across from me, and he politely asked his father to cut up his food for him. Cal pulled the plate toward him, cut the enchilada into appropriate, bite-sized pieces, and slid it back. “Be careful, Ash. It’s really hot.”
Asher leaned forward and blew on it.
I cut into a piece, stabbed it with my fork, and lifted it to my mouth to blow on mine as well. When the steam was no longer pouring off it, I popped it in my mouth, and my taste buds exploded. I covered my mouth to spare the others having to see my half-chewed food. “This is incredible, Nick. Thank you for dinner.”
“I’m glad you like it, Lina. I used to make these for you and Cal on Friday nights when you two were young.”
I took another bite, burned my tongue, and kept eating. They were too good to be patient.
As we ate, I listened to Cal and his family talk about the upcoming holidays. Asher’s eyes turned into two big, bright, blue orbs when Cal turned to him and asked, “How many days until Christmas, kiddo?”
“Three!”
Cal chuckled and so did Nick. I grinned and looked around at all of them. “Do you guys put up a Christmas tree?”
Cal nodded. “Yes. It would normally be up by now, but things have been a little hectic. I was thinking we’d put it up tomorrow.”
Asher’s eyes somehow got even bigger. “Please!” he cried.
Cal laughed. “All right, Ash. Tomorrow it is. We’ll head out, pick the perfect tree, and bring it home to put it up tomorrow night.”
“And we’ll have hot chocolate?” Asher asked.
“Duh,” Cal said.
Asher put his utensils down and clapped his hands together. “And can we order pizza and make brownies and—”
Cal held his hand up and laughed as he tried to talk Asher down from his excitement. “Relax, kiddo. Don’t you worry. We’ll keep up with all our usual traditions. Grandpa will come over and help us decorate, too. Right, Dad?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Nick said.
“And Lina?” Asher asked. “Will you help us pick out a tree, too? We always find the best one every year. I have a checklist. You should help!”
I looked around at all of them and wondered where I would usually be at Christmas time. Maybe here. With them. It was clear that I didn’t have any other family, which was a question I was saving for a later date when I could stomach the answer, and no friends had tried to contact me since I woke up in the hospital. These three were all I had.
I nodded. “I would love to help, Asher. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Looks like I’ll be getting the rest of the decorations out of the shed tomorrow,” Cal muttered as he finished the last bite of his meal from his plate.
“I can help you,” I offered.
“We’ll see,” Cal said. “Do you want more dinner? There’s plenty left.”
I glanced over my shoulder at the pan on the stove. There was a lot of food left. Enough to freeze it and allow all of us to eat another full dinner twice over. I stood up and took my plate over to the stove. “Don’t mind if I do. Anybody else fancy seconds?”
Nick joined me. “I’ve never been one to turn down a second helping.”
I smiled and scooped some onto his plate. He thanked me with a grin, and we took our seats at the table, where Asher took the time to tell me more about their Christmas tree shopping checklist.
It was suddenly very clear that finding the right tree would take more than just an hour. Or two.
19
Callum
“Dad!”
Two bony little knees pressed into my chest. I grunted and cracked open one eye to see Asher on top of me. His hair was a wild mess from sleeping, and his smile was huge.
“Dad! Wake up!” He began bouncing, driving his knees down into my chest with more force.
“Oh God,” I groaned, rolling over and wrapping my arms around him in a bear hug. He giggled gleefully as I pulled him in tight and nuzzled my chin against his cheek. “Time to go back to sleep.”
“No!” Asher cried between giggles. He tried to wriggle out of my grip, but it was useless. He was stuck fast, and he knew it. He struggled anyway. This was one of our favorite games.
Asher tugged wildly at my arm until he tuckered himself out. Then he lay still and drew his knees up to curl up against my chest as he caught his breath. “Lina is downstairs already.”
“Is she?” I asked.
He nodded. “She’s making breakfast. It’s a mess down there, Dad.”
I had a flashback to Lina cooking in my father’s kitchen when we were seventeen. She’d been wearing one of my sweaters and a pair of leggings. She managed to dirty every bowl and cooking utensil just making pancakes. I winced. “I can only imagine. Come on. Let’s get up. I’m going to shower, and then we’ll go have breakfast. Keep her company while I’m washing up?”
“Okay,” Asher said.
“Okay.”
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
Asher was quiet for a couple seconds. I could practically hear him thinking. “Isn’t it bad that we’re lying to Lina?”
I couldn’t help the swell of pride that filled me. “It’s temporary, Ash. And this is a special circumstance. Lina can’t remember who she is. And we are the ones who have to be there for her and help guide her back to her memories. Does that make sense?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Good. When the time is right, I will explain everything to her. But in the meantime, we just have to be as honest as possible. If you don’t know, come to me, okay?”
“Okay.” We lay still for another minute. Asher cleared his throat. “Dad?”
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“You have to let me go if you want me to go see Lina.” I chuckled and let him climb free of my arms. He jumped down off the bed and padded to the door. “Hurry up! I want to go tree shopping!”
He tore off down the hall, and I fell back down on my back, running my hands down my face, and stared up at the ceiling as I let out a big sigh. “All right, Cal. You can do this.” I clapped my hands together, rolled out of bed, and made my way to the shower.
After my shower, I got dressed and made my way downstairs. Lina was in the kitchen with Asher, who was sitting at the island watching her cook up a storm. He looked positively mind blown. The entire sink was overflowing with dishes.
I ran my fingers through my wet hair and looked around. “What are you cooking up in here that smells so good?”
Lina turned from the stove and smiled at me. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a loose braid. She had no makeup on, and her skin was bright. She looked healthy, like herself. She was wearing blue jeans and a long-sleeved black turtleneck sweater. “Well, we have eggs, bacon, and French toast in the works. I also chopped up some fresh fruit which is on the table. I was going to make a batch of cookies for later while we decorated the tree, but I lost track of time.”
“And dishes,” I said.
Lina looked around at her mess. “Yes. Things got out of control a lot faster than I expected.”
I laughed. There was fresh coffee in the pot, so I helped myself to a mug and offered to help her cook. She refused and told me breakfast was almost ready. A short few minutes later, everything was being put on plates, and we were taking our seats.
It was delicious. I’d give her that. I didn’t remember her being this good of a cook when we were young.
“It’s weird,” Lina said after finishing her food. “I can’t remember anything, but I could remember how to cook. I didn’t even think about it. I just… started cooking.”
“I bet a lot of things will happen like that,” I told her.
She nodded. “I hope so.”
Asher slid out of his chair and cleared our plates for us. “Can we go get the tree now?”
I nodded and ruffled his crazy hair. “Yeah. Let’s go get your jacket and boots. You still have to brush your teeth. And find your gloves like I asked you to the other day. How about you get ready, and Lina and I will clean the kitchen?”
My Holiday Reunion: A Second Chance Holiday Romance Page 11