Heaven's Loss (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  Seren wanted to cry. She wanted to hide. She wanted to rail against the unfairness of not being accepted by the one individual in the universe who mattered the most to her. But what could she say? What seemed normal and natural to her was alien to him. Until she found some way to prove herself to Canyon, there was nothing she could say to convince him. Even if she revealed the secrets of the universe, he wouldn’t believe her. “All right. I’ll do whatever you say.”

  Canyon felt like his chest was cleaving in two. Not since Matty died had he felt so helpless. “It’s for the best. Keeping you here, perpetuating your fantasy, none of that is helping you.”

  “I understand.” Seren sat still. If the breaths filling her lungs weren’t involuntarily, she wouldn’t have chosen to take them. “I wish I could be different for you. I only know how to be what I am.”

  Canyon pointed to the things he’d bought for her. “I’ll take these to your room.”

  “If I’m leaving, there’s no need,” she offered in a tight, small voice.

  “I want you to be comfortable tonight.” He gathered the bags up. “I’m going to bed. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”

  * * *

  Before retiring for the evening, as promised, Seren put on a roast in the crock pot. She flavored it with the seasonings she’d seen Canyon use many times. She also added some potatoes and carrots. When that was done, she crept to the bathroom to cleanse herself. Once she was wearing the soft white gown he’d bought for her, Seren padded to his room to see if he’d left the door open. Finding it ajar, she slipped in and went to her usual spot to perch on the dresser and watch him sleep.

  As the clocked ticked, Seren’s heart grew heavy. She considered the strange events of late and wondered what purpose was being served. All she could do was hold on to the thought that all things worked together for good. While watching him sleep, she began to do the one thing she’d avoided in the last few days – Seren began to pray.

  “I come with a humble heart, asking nothing for myself, only the strength to protect the one whom you have given to me. I am overwhelmed with unanswered questions. What have I done to alienate myself from you? I am weak. I am flawed. Please don’t allow my failures to bring harm to this man. Allow me to be his refuge. His shelter in times of trouble. Hold him in the palm of your hand, let him stand in the cleft of the rock. Safe. Protected.”

  Across the room, Canyon lay still. Listening. Her whispered words touched him like nothing ever had before. For all the doubts he harbored, the one thing he did not question was her sincerity. He lay there and tried to imagine having someone in his life who loved him so completely.

  Unable to resist, he opened his eyes – and what he saw changed his life forever.

  Atop his dresser, hands folded in her lap, sat Seren – a Seren he’d never seen before. Her delicate, feminine form was awash with an otherworldly light. Her creamy golden hued skin seemed to glow and her beautiful hair lifted and moved in a gentle breeze he couldn’t feel or sense. Canyon held his breath, his whole being intent on the most amazing, perfect creature he’d ever seen. Rising from her shoulders was a pair of magnificent wings covered with pure white feathers. He raised a trembling hand to rub his eyes, blinking to make sure what he was seeing was real. “Seren?”

  Across the room, Seren jerked to attention – and when she did, the glory faded as quickly as it had come. She didn’t even appear to be aware of it. “I’m sorry. I was just praying. Are you okay?” Jumping from her perch, she hurried to him. “Did you have another bad dream?”

  When she placed a gentle hand to his bare chest, Canyon expected her touch to burn. In a way, it did. The light brush of her skin to his sent electric sparks of desire rushing through his veins. Had a woman’s touch ever excited him so? Never. But…she wasn’t an ordinary woman. Seren was just what she’d been saying all along.

  An angel. His guardian angel.

  “No dream this time. I heard you speaking.” Grasping her hand, Canyon expected her to be warm. He was shocked to find her skin cold as ice. “You’re freezing.”

  She eased her hand from his. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” He sat up, searching her face. “I saw you.”

  Seren’s breath sounded choppy as she frowned. “What?” She couldn’t think clearly. His nearness was making her feel dizzy. He was so big and beautiful. His chest was broad and muscled, covered with a light dusting of dark hair. She wanted so much to touch him – but he didn’t want that.

  “I saw you shine.” Canyon looked at her in awe. “You were telling me the truth. You are an angel.”

  Seren shook her head. “A watcher.”

  “I know. I know.” He caught her hand again. “It’s not the same.” He entwined their fingers. “How is it possible? You feel as real as me.”

  “I am real.” Seren didn’t know what to think. He’d seen her? She hadn’t been aware of any change. Maybe it was because she was praying. “And I’m cold.” The temperature had dropped outside and there was no heat on in the house. “I’ll go get a wrap.” Seren turned to go, but was stopped by Canyon’s insistent hand.

  “Don’t go.” He threw back the covers. “I’ll warm you.”

  Seren didn’t know what to do. “Are you sure?”

  “Come on,” he urged. “We’re letting cold air under the covers.”

  Hope bloomed in her heart. “Okay.” She slid in next to him, thrilled when he enfolded her in his arms and drew her down onto his broad chest. With her head cradled on his shoulder, she tucked an arm around his waist and rested one of her legs across his. He felt wonderful. She began to tremble even more.

  Canyon wrapped both arms around her, cradling Seren close. “You’re shivering harder.” He kissed the top of her head. “Cuddle close.”

  “It’s not just the cold,” she whispered. “It’s you. Being with you like this excites me.”

  Shutting his eyes, Canyon sought control. “You’re amazing. So open and honest.” To his delight, he could feel her small body quiver with a giggle.

  “I’m sort of wired that way.”

  “So, you can’t lie?”

  “I could, but I wouldn’t. The repercussions are too costly.” Idly, she caressed his chest as she lay on him, loving the privilege of touching him.

  “Uh, yea. I guess that’s true here as well. It’s a shame people don’t consider the damage a lie can do.” He rubbed her back and arms, striving to get her warm. “I’ve never been with anyone like you before.”

  She giggled again. “I know.”

  Suddenly, the truth hit Canyon. “If you’ve been with me all this time, you’ve seen…”

  Seren stiffened and buried her face hard against him. “No. I couldn’t. I always stayed close, but never in the same room.”

  “Why?” He needed to know.

  “It would’ve been wrong,” she whispered. And it had hurt – even then. Now, she knew why. Her feelings for Canyon had been growing and changing over time. She knew she needed to analyze this and determine what it meant for her standing as his protector. But not now – not when he was holding her like this. She wanted to enjoy every incredible second.

  Seren’s soft breath against his skin made Canyon crazy. “Yea, but if I’d had a heart attack…” he teased, thoroughly enjoying every moment she was in his arms.

  “Oh, I would’ve known. I was seldom apart from you, but when I was – I could always feel your heart beating.” She kissed his chest and was amazed when he shuddered beneath her. “I miss that.”

  “You don’t have to. Place your hand over my heart.” She did so. “Feel that?”

  “Yea.” She placed her head next to her hand, taking comfort in the strong, steady beat. “This has been the most important, most soothing sound in the universe to me.”

  As he held her, the ramifications of their amazing relationship were beginning to sink in. Seren once said he belonged to her and that’s exactly how he felt. To think she’d been with him
for every minute of every day, through it all, the joys and the heartbreak – seemed right. Good. “Everything you told me was true,” he repeated himself in wonder. “You’ve been with me every step of the way. With Matty. With my…”

  “Yes.” Seren squeezed him even tighter. “I held you. I stood beside you. I cried with you. I whispered words of comfort and love to you.”

  How well Canyon remembered the despair, the loneliness – the desperation of losing his child. “After burying Matty and watching Kim walk away from me, I sat in my shop with a pistol in hand, trying to find the strength and resolve to end my life.”

  She framed his face, tenderly grazing the pads of her thumbs over his cheeks. “You showed your greatest strength when you put the gun down. When you chose to live.”

  “I didn’t think I had anything to live for,” he confessed quietly, gazing up at her face. Her features were beautiful, caressed by the moonlight coming through the window at the head of the bed. “You were with me?”

  “I never left you.”

  “I could feel you, I think.” He let his mind go back to the terrible day. “I was so desperate. So angry.” Canyon tried to remember the moment when he laid the gun down. “One thing kept going through my mind.”

  “You were loved,” she spoke the words softly, her gaze locked with his. “You were so loved.”

  Yes, that was right. The thought that he was loved had gone through his mind on some type of cosmic loop. “Not by anyone on this Earth.”

  “No, but no less loved.” She bent and kissed his lips gently. “I would die for you, you know.”

  “I know.” He could sense the amazing gift she offered was truth. There were so many questions. So much mystery. Canyon wanted to know everything. He intended to ask her for all the answers his heart craved – but not now.

  Now, he needed something else.

  He needed her.

  “Kiss me, beautiful.” He drew her to him.

  The moment their lips met, Canyon’s entire being was shocked with unbridled desire. Her soft body nestling against his hard, aching cock felt like heaven. He groaned, cupping Seren’s face, his mouth feasting on hers. A thrill unlike any he’d ever known flooded through him and not just from their physical intimacy. He felt joy, pure joy from just being with her and knowing she belonged to him. Did what he felt make sense? At the moment, he didn’t know – and he didn’t care.

  Seren felt her spirit soar as his tongue pushed past her lips and into her mouth. She moaned her acceptance and clutched him tighter, wanting as much of him as she could get. Taking any part of him inside of her seemed like a glorious wonder.

  Canyon pulled up the silky gown, allowing his hungry hands to acquaint themselves with her body. She was so smooth, like the finest silk – and her shape, her shape was perfect. A tiny waist, flared feminine hips, and breasts he knew would fill the palms of his hands – and he had big hands. “You’re so sweet.” Unable to resist, he cupped her luscious bottom and lifted her, pressing her softness to his cock so he could grind her against him easily. “Do you like that?” he asked, desperate for reassurance.

  She gasped, digging her fingernails into his biceps. “I do. Yes.”

  The amazing, miracle of Seren was hard for him to comprehend. A wild thought went through his head and he had to ask, “Are you…are you anatomically correct?”

  His strange inquiry hit Seren as funny. She giggled. “I’m not a Barbie doll, Canyon. I’m as anatomically correct as you are.”

  He nipped her neck. “And how anatomically correct am I?”

  “I think you’re perfect. Beautiful.” She giggled again, a sweet, feminine sound. “Not that I ever looked at anyone else. Maybe I should do some research.”

  “Not necessary.” He pulled her to him, rolling over carefully to cover her body with his own. “Give me that mouth.” Seren layered her lips to his and the kiss quickly turned endless. With a need spiraling out of control, Canyon devoured her. He couldn’t imagine wanting a woman more.

  When the need to take a breath compelled their lips to separate, he let his hand glide to cup her breast through the thin fabric of the gown she wore. “Can I do this?” Rubbing the hard tip with his thumb, he smiled when she jerked and gasped, arching her back to push the soft mound harder against his palm.

  “I’ve never done any of this before, but I trust you, Canyon. You can do anything you want to me. I belong to you.”

  She trusted him.

  She belonged to him.

  Even though she’d given him the permission he sought, Canyon kissed her gently and enfolded Seren in his arms. “Don’t ever doubt I need you more than air, but I think we should take this slow.”

  “Slow?”

  The disappointment in her voice wasn’t lost on Canyon. In fact, it made him smile. Cradling her close, he willed his cock to have patience. “Some things are too important to rush, angel.”

  “I’m not…”

  He captured her words with one final kiss, then tucking Seren to him, he stroked her hair softly. “You’re my angel. Now, go to sleep. I’ll feel your heartbeat and you’ll feel mine. We’ll protect one another through the night.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Canyon stretched. His heart was light. He felt so good – and the reason why became evident after a moment or two of lucidity.

  Seren was lying beside him, pressing featherlight kisses all over his chest. After taking in her ethereal beauty, he closed his eyes and just enjoyed her touch. The only part of him protesting was his poor neglected manhood, standing at attention, trying in vain to get her attention. “Hey.”

  She lifted her head and gave him a beatific smile. “Good morning. I’m so happy to be with you.”

  Canyon felt his heart warm and his throat tighten. Her adoration was truly addictive. Winding his fingers through her hair, he lifted it off her neck, letting the silky strands flow between his fingers. “I’m very glad you’re here too.”

  “Truly?” She brightened, her face glowing with happiness.

  “Truly,” he echoed a bit gruffly. Hell yes, he’d changed his tune. When he realized she was exactly what she said she was – his whole belief system turned upside down. “Now, give me a proper good morning.” He wrapped his palm around her nape and guided her lips to his. As soon as their mouths touched, he could feel more than a mere physical connection. Canyon imagined his heart and soul reaching out to hers. Joining. Entwining.

  Immediately, the more practical side of his brain rejected that assessment – but that wasn’t the part of his body in charge right now.

  No matter how their bond might be described, he couldn’t deny how receptive Seren was to him. Her lips opened with a tiny gasp of eager need and she took the initiative to deepen the kiss. The sweet taste of her went to his head. He held her tighter, his hand skating up and down her back. Canyon could feel the taut ripeness of her nipples poking him in the chest. Her whimpers of need caused his cock to jerk in desperation as their tongues danced together. Everything within him demanded he make her his. The only thing holding him back – was his damn conscience.

  Releasing her from the kiss, he smiled as she followed his retreating mouth, clearly not wanting the moment to end. “Canyon…” she murmured.

  “I think we need to talk.”

  “Oh,” she moaned, flopping to her back in the bed. “Even I know what that means.”

  Canyon eased from the bed, needing a little distance for his own sanity. “No. You don’t.” He made no effort to hide his desire from her and his chest swelled when he saw her eyes widen at his tented shorts. “You’ve seen me before.”

  Seren swallowed, then lifted her head to meet his eyes. “Not when you were big for me.”

  Her words just made him grow harder, if that were possible. “You’re right. This is for you. Our talk isn’t about me not wanting you, it’s about making sure you’re all right.”

  With a frown, Seren sat up and arranged her gown in a prim circle around her. “I’ve alwa
ys admired your honorable nature. Until now.”

  Canyon shook his head and chuckled. “Yea, being noble sucks sometimes.” He dry-scrubbed his face and turned toward the bathroom. “I’m heading to the shower. If you’re going with me today, you’d better get ready.”

  “I’m going!” This caused her to jump up and head for the other bathroom. “I’ll make us breakfast when I’m through!”

  Breakfast. “Good idea.” But he had a better one. Despite his concern for her, he’d been fantasizing about Seren from the moment he first saw her. Even though taking it slow was his idea, he just couldn’t take it anymore. Heading to the bathroom, he planned on taking matters into his own hands.

  Once in the shower, getting clean wasn’t Canyon’s highest priority. Leaning his head against the tile, he recalled how it felt to hold Seren in his arms. “Man, I’ve got it bad for her. So bad.” In his mind, it was her hand closing over his rod. Her hand stroking his length. Her touch.

  Bowing his head, he let himself get lost in the memories of her touch.

  Her kiss. Her lips. Her breasts.

  “Oh, God. Seren!” he groaned as lightning struck and the world behind his closed eyelids went hot white. Pleasure blasted through him – his muscles clenched, his blood ran hot – and he exploded, jetting his essence onto the shower floor.

  After recovering and finishing his shower, Canyon dressed and went to find the object of his desire.

  “Dammit!”

  Hearing the off-color word come from Seren’s mouth surprised him – but nothing prepared him for the sight that met his eyes when he turned the corner into the kitchen.

  “Holy hell, baby! What happened?” Canyon pressed his lips together trying not to laugh. Seren turned to face him – her hair standing out all which a way, her face and body covered in flour. Only her eyes remained untouched by the white substance. The kitchen hadn’t escaped unscathed either. “Problems?”

  Seren didn’t smile. She surveyed him calmly, then dusted a layer of the white, powdery substance from her shoulder. “I was trying my hand at Angel Flake biscuits, you’d think it would be easy for me.”