Chapter 21
“Mom, it’s on!”
Ava took a deep breath, her hands resting on the kitchen counter, a tray of fresh fruit scenting the air with sweetness. She glanced out the window. It was dark, the Christmas lights in her front yard twinkling, their first Christmas with a yard to decorate.
“Hurry. You’re going to miss him.”
She didn’t want to hurry. She didn’t want to watch Carson at the NFR. It still hurt to even think about the past few months. She had a feeling it would hurt even worse to see him on TV.
She picked up the tray, taking a deep breath, steeling herself against what was to come. Bella had tried to push them back together. He’d even called. She’d talked to him, but there was too much bitterness in her heart to do much more than ask how he was doing. With time she had come to realize it was better that way. In some ways, Carson had hurt her more than Paul ever had.
“Well here’s the Cinderella story of the season,” said the television announcer. “Shane and Carson Gillian, the sons of Reese Gillian, a famous team roper in his own right.”
“That’s right, Brewster. Reese was one half of the Dynamic Duo, Reese and Bob Gillian. Together the pair amassed nearly two dozen NFR buckles over the years.”
On the television screen, an image of Shane appeared. He was backing into the box already, swinging his rope, and then the picture changed.
Carson.
“There he is,” Bella said excitedly. Balto jumped up, a puzzled look on his face as he stared up at the little girl he adored. “It’s okay,” she absently soothed the dog, who was no longer a little puppy.
It felt like an arrow to the heart. Ava hadn’t seen him since the rodeo on that cold summer morning.
“This isn’t this pair’s first trip to the NFR, but it’s the first time we’ve seen Carson since his injury last spring.”
The camera shifted to Carson’s elbow. He wore a brace.
“That’s right. The man suffered a terrible injury early on in the rodeo season and missed nearly two-thirds of it. But then he came back with a bang. He hasn’t missed a steer in months. It’s incredible.”
Ava looked at Bella sharply. That was the first time she’d heard that. She hadn’t asked and her daughter hadn’t volunteered the information. Bella still took lessons out at Gillian Ranch, although it was more often than not that Flynn, Carson’s brother, schooled her these days. That was okay with Ava. Less chance of running into Carson when she dropped Bella off.
“This pair managed to qualify for the NFR in a record three months’ time,” said the other announcer. “That’s remarkable, given that there was a chance Carson would never rope again.”
The camera shifted to Shane again. He’d backed his horse into the corner of the box, as she’d learned it was called thanks to Bella. The view changed, zooming out to include Carson, who swung his rope while backing up his horse, too. And despite telling herself she didn’t care, her pulse pounded so hard she could feel it throb in her neck.
“Here we go,” said the announcer.
Shane nodded. The view changed again, this time including Shane and the steer. Carson’s brother only had to swing three times before tossing his rope, Ava gasping as he caught the head, turned him. Ava’s hands clenched as Carson swung next.
He caught.
“Would you look at that!” yelled an announcer. “What a way to start off your NFR.”
“They did it!” Bella yelled, shooting up from the couch and giving Ava a high five.
“My goodness,” said the other announcer. “That was something else. Looks like this will be one of the teams to watch over the next two weeks.”
On television, Carson smiled at his brother. Ava couldn’t watch anymore.
“Where are you going?” Bella asked with troubled eyes. “The round just started.”
“I just need to go upstairs and get something.”
She didn’t wait to see Bella’s reaction. She knew her daughter would understand. She’d tried more times than Ava could count to get her to call Carson before he’d left for the NFR. She’d refused every time, even though it’d disappointed Bella.
She went right to the rocking chair. How many times had she sat on it and thought about where he was and what he was doing? There’d been days, too, when she’d wanted to toss it out the window. Such talent. Didn’t he realize she was far more impressed with his ability to mold wood than his talent chasing cows—or steers as she’d now learned they were called.
Ava stroked the soft wooden arms, pulled a blanket she’d tossed over the back around her, staring outside at the twinkling lights in her front yard and at other homes around her.
She missed him.
Lord, she hadn’t known it would hurt so badly. When she’d confessed to Bella that she loved him, she’d wondered if it would last. Everything had happened so fast between them, it didn’t seem possible to care that deeply in such a short amount of time. But she did. She missed his teasing smiles and his twinkling eyes and the heat in his gaze when he stared down at her. And despite telling herself not to, she felt tears well in her eyes.
He’d chosen rodeo. That was fine. He was gone a lot. It would have been tough to deal with that.
But she loved him. He loved her, too. She closed her eyes, a tear escaping from between her lashes.
She’d fallen in love with a cowboy. Too bad that love wasn’t enough to make it all work.
* * *
“What’s wrong, son?”
Carson stared at the trophy frame that held his brand-new gold-and-silver buckle. “Nothing.”
They were in his hotel room, the bright Las Vegas strip visible from outside his window. It didn’t impress him. Nothing seemed to impress him these days.
His dad plopped down on a nearby couch. The Gillian family shared a suite, the whole group having gone out to celebrate. He and Reese would join them in a few. Carson had wanted to drop his buckle off in his room.
“You don’t look like someone about to win the average at the NFR.”
He inhaled again, and he knew his dad would notice, but he didn’t care. He felt...empty. This whole time he’d been so focused on making the NFR, he hadn’t had time to think. That was good. Ava had kept her distance. He’d told himself that was probably for the best, too. He wasn’t cut out to be a dad. He loved Bella, no doubt about that, but he had goals now. Things to do. Places to go. People to see.
That was what he told himself.
Only now, as he stared down at his buckle in its shadow box, did he realize it meant nothing. The wins. The money. The chance at winning the average, and maybe even the world if his earnings kept going up. None of it meant a hill of beans. Not without Ava.
“You miss her, son?”
Leave it to his dad to read his mind. “Miss who?”
His father shook his head. Carson set the trophy buckle down on the granite counter that separated the kitchen from the living area, next to the other two he’d won during the ten-day competition.
“Don’t hand me that. You know who I’m talking about.”
He did. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about Ava. His longing for her was an ache in his heart.
“She probably doesn’t even know I won a round.”
“Oh, I think Bella will keep her informed.”
Carson nodded. His dad got up from the couch. “I’m proud of you, son,” he said, squeezing Carson’s arm.
“Thanks, Dad.” But even that, his dad’s praise—something that meant the world to him—fell flat.
“But I’m not proud of the cowardly way you walked away from that woman.”
Carson’s head snapped up.
“Bella told me about it the other day. About how she told you that you shouldn’t rope. About how you resisted at first. That’s why you switched to that new doctor. It wasn’t so
you could see a specialist. You just didn’t want to see Ava anymore.”
Carson stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You were the one that said things probably wouldn’t work out.”
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t hope.” Reese leaned forward. “Damn it, son. I told you that was a hell of a woman. But you walked away from her even though it’s pretty damn clear that you’re in love.”
He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not now. “You ready to go eat?” he asked.
“Hear me out.” His dad lifted a hand. Carson resisted the urge to walk out anyway. “That woman was the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Why did the words sting so much?
“She made you want to do things that I’d only ever hoped you’d do. She helped you to see that you could be better than the person you were before the two of you met. That you could be a dad. That you could care for someone, not just for a night or a couple weeks, but forever. You love her. Still.”
Yes, he did. Had wanted to tell her that at least a half dozen times over the phone. He’d held back out of pride.
“You love her and now you realize that none of it, not winning another buckle, not being the best heeler in the nation, not even all the money you’ve won—none of it means anything without her.”
Carson’s face began to crumble. It was the oddest sensation to feel his cheeks sag and his lids lower and his mouth tremble as he fought to hold back tears. Wasn’t manly to cry.
“Go to her, son. Tell her how you feel. If you don’t, I promise you, victory won’t be sweet, it’ll be hollow and, worse than that, lonely as hell. It always is at the top, especially when you don’t have the woman you love by your side.”
Chapter 22
“Dr. Moore, please report to the reception counter.”
Ava paused, looking up from the X-rays she examined. Compound fracture. Just as she’d thought. The misshapen bend to the man’s right wrist had been a dead giveaway, although thankfully it hadn’t pierced the skin.
“How bad is it, Doc?”
Ava focused on the man whose X-rays she’d just studied and smiled. At least work kept her busy. She’d slept hardly a wink all night, not after listening to Bella hooting and hollering when it was announced that Shane and Carson had won not only the average, but the world title, too.
“I’ve seen worse, Mr. Johnson. It’s a clean break, though.”
“Will you be able to set it?” said a woman who’d been introduced as his wife. Her husband had been riding their ten-year-old’s skateboard, and if Ava had a dollar for every fortysomething who’d thought to relive their youth by hopping aboard a kid’s toy, she’d be rich.
“Yes. It’s a simple break, fortunately. I’ll have a nurse give you a local and then I’ll pull it back in place.”
Mr. Johnson winced. She didn’t blame him. It sounded a lot worse than it was, though. One good tug and the bone would be straight again. The man wouldn’t feel a thing.
“Dr. Moore, reception desk, please.”
“It’ll take a little while for the local to kick in, so you might as well make yourself comfortable.”
The wife nodded. The man seemed to relax a bit. Ava headed for the door.
“I told you not to get on that thing,” she heard Mrs. Johnson hiss. “You’re lucky you didn’t break your neck.”
Ava smiled. It was good to be at work. Good to be away from it all.
She stopped at the nurses’ station. “Can you have Nurse Bell administer a local to Mr. Johnson? That wrist will have to be set.”
Sally, her head RN, nodded, a strange smile on her face. She’d probably heard the woman’s comment from the other side of the curtain, too. “Anything else you’ll need?”
“Just the usual. Casting tape. Padding. Maybe a Xanax for the wife.”
Sally’s smile grew. “Got it. And you were paged to the reception desk.”
“Yeah, I heard.” She turned away, wondering what they needed. Sometimes her patients stopped by if they couldn’t find her at her office. It was a major pain in her rear, but it was part of the job to answer questions even when it pulled her away from the ER.
“There you are,” said the pretty brunette who manned Via Del Caballo General’s main reception desk. “I was hoping you heard me.”
“What’s up, Meghan?”
The woman had the biggest smile on her face, making an already attractive face even more pretty. “This just came for you.” She handed her a white box with a blue ribbon tied around it. Ava stared at it in surprise.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know.”
Well, of course she didn’t know. She untied the ribbon, lifted the lid...and gasped.
NATIONAL FINALS RODEO
TEAM ROPING—HEELER.
“Is that a buckle?”
She hadn’t even noticed Meghan standing. Didn’t realize she’d set the shadow box frame down, stepping back as if it might burn her.
“Holy cow. That’s Carson Gillian’s, isn’t it? That was him, wasn’t it?” Meghan couldn’t contain her excitement. “No wonder he looked so familiar.”
Wait. “Carson was here?”
“Yes,” Meghan said. “Oh, what does the card say?”
He was here? Ava glanced toward the door. “I don’t know,” she answered absently. She didn’t see his truck in the visitor parking, but she couldn’t see the entire parking lot from where she stood.
“It says,” said a masculine voice, “‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’”
It was a sign of how distracted she was that she hadn’t heard him approach.
“Love, Carson,” he added.
He held roses.
She stood, rooted to the spot. He took a tentative step toward her. She began to move, too. Slowly at first and then faster.
She gave up.
She loved him. Couldn’t live without him. She didn’t care that he hadn’t listened to her at first. That he lived a life on the road. Nothing was worse than being without him. She knew that now. Time had revealed the truth of their love.
“Ava,” he said, hugging her tight, swinging her around, the roses crushed against her back, their blooms emitting a heavenly smell.
“I’m so glad you answered that page because I was prepared to go into An Officer and a Gentleman mode and march through the hospital hallways until I found you if you hadn’t.”
He felt so good. Smelled so familiar. Held her so tight. She closed her eyes, part of her wondering if it was really happening, wondering if it might be a dream because there was no way he could have arrived all the way from Las Vegas.
“Wait. What are you doing here?” she asked, leaning back. “Carson, you’re going to miss your next go if you don’t head back right now.”
His smile was all the more heartwarming for the tears she spotted in his eyes. “You saw me last night.”
Her eyes blurred suddenly as she stared up at him. “I swore I wouldn’t. I told Bella to turn it off, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.”
His hand lifted, brushing a tear from her cheek. “Then you know if I keep this up, I could win the whole shebang. The average. The world title.”
She nodded. “But only if you turn around and drive back to Vegas right now.”
He shook his head. “I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to ride...not unless you’re there with me.”
She couldn’t breathe for a moment, had to look away because until that moment she hadn’t thought there was a thing he could say that would top his being there. She realized then she was wrong.
“I can’t go with you, Carson. I have patients to attend to. Hell, there’s a forty-six-year-old man in there every bit as stupid as you and I need to set his arm in a few minutes.”
He shushed her with a finger against her lips. “But you would go,
wouldn’t you?”
He realized what he was asking her then, although he really should have known by the look on her face. She had to be staring up at him like a love-struck fool.
“I would,” she said softly.
“Then it’s a good thing I called Dr. Eastman and arranged it all this morning.”
She drew back in shock. “What?”
“Look,” he said, gently turning her.
In the hospital lobby, lined up three-people thick, was most of the ER staff, smiles on their faces. Some of them started to clap, Nurse Bell giving her the thumbs-up.
And then she felt Carson move. When she turned, it was in time to see him get down on one knee.
“Marry me, Ava,” he said. “Come back to Vegas with me and we’ll do it together. You and I will conquer the world.”
Her eyes began to burn. She didn’t want to cry. Not in front of her coworkers, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.
He set her roses down, pulled a ring out of his pocket, flipped open the lid. “Marry me, Ava. Let me prove to you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”
She couldn’t stop it then, couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “Well, okay. When you put it that way...”
Which was probably the silliest thing to say to a man who had just asked you to marry him, but she didn’t care. The staff clapped harder when Carson stood and slipped a gorgeous emerald-cut diamond on her finger.
“Momma,” she heard someone say.
It was Bella. Her daughter ran into her arms.
“I’m so happy for you,” she murmured into her chest.
Carson held them both tight. “I love you two so much.”
“Me, too,” Ava sobbed. “Me, too.”
* * *
They left right then and there, Carson explaining that Nurse Bell had already clocked her out and Dr. Eastman was covering for her. He drove like a bat out of hell to get back to Vegas, and Ava half joked that it would be just their luck to crash on their way to the NFR.
He didn’t.
They arrived in plenty of time, the Gillian family welcoming her with open arms when they arrived. And later on, when Shane and Carson roped their final steer of all the go-arounds in record time, she stood with his family afterward, smiling through her tears as she congratulated the second generation of Gillians to win gold buckles.
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