I automatically got suspicious, “What?”
“Drew's kind of going to be my best man.”
“WHAT!?” I practically screamed. “What do you mean he's going to be your best man? You didn't even know for sure he was going to be here but you gave him one of the most important roles in the wedding? And I thought your friend Aaron was the best man?”
“He was only the best man if Drew didn't show.
“Why, on earth, would you make Drew your best man? The makes no sense. And torture me making me walk with him. Oh Jesus. And now I'll have to dance with him for the wedding party dance. Oh god, and the solo dance! Why do you guys hate me?”
“Steph, we don't hate you.” He replied with an exasperated sigh.
“Well you guys have a funny way of showing it.” Then I realized it. “No. Absolutely not. You guys are not doing this. You're not going to set me up with him.”
Kyle tried to look surprised, but failed miserably. “What?” he laughed nervously. “We're not setting you up. I've got stuff here covered. Go take care of Sarah. It's almost time.” With that he walked away before I could reply.
“You're a terrible liar!” I yelled to him. If he heard me he didn't show it.
I grumbled all the way back to the room Sarah was in, they really were not thinking this through. I was just about to walk in when I heard Drew.
“I do. I do still love her.”
“YES! I knew it!” Sarah yelled, probably even doing a happy dance. I just rolled my eyes.
“BUT,” he said loud enough to get her to stop. “I'm still living in Ohio. I'm only here for a couple weeks. And she's married, Sarah, with kids. I can't break up a family like that.”
“No.” She sounded like she was pleading. “What happened to kicking his ass for hurting her? What happened to showing her you still love her?”
“Oh I will be kicking his ass when I see him. And I will show her that I love her, or try to anyway. But don't pull any of your attempts to help.”
She didn't reply and I took this opportunity to make my entrance. I started to say something but stopped. Sarah was biting her lip looking nervous. And Drew was about to question her but stopped when they saw me.
“Oh I know that look. What are you up to, Sarah?” I put my hands on my hips and gave her a look that clearly said that I already knew what she was up to and she was in big trouble. I knew she understood my message because her eyes widened for a fraction of a second and then she looked away. Drew looked a little confused. Did he know?
“Mommy,” I felt Ema pull on my dress and smiled at her. I bent down and swooped her up, spinning around as I did and she burst into a fit of giggles. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Drew watching me with a smile. He looked away blushing when Sarah caught him. I chuckled a little and turned my attention back to my daughter.
“What is it, baby?”
“Can I walk with him in Aunty Sarah’s wedding instead of you?”
She caught me off guard with her question and I blushed, a little. “Sweetie, mommy has to walk with Drew and you have to walk by yourself to throw the petals out.”
“But I want to walk with him, you throw the petals out.”
I wasn't sure how to answer that, but Drew did it for me. I only jumped a little when his voice was right next to me.
“May I?” he was holding out his hands to Ema.
I was a little hesitant but handed to him. She went right to him willingly with a huge smile. I walked over and took his place next to Sarah.
“Absolutely amazing,” she whispered.
“I know. She never takes to new people like that. Usually she screams.” She gave me a look as if to say 'see even your kids love him.' I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help the smile coming to my face as I watched him with her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sarah smirk.
“I have to walk with mommy,” he was telling her. “But I promise you will be the first girl I dance with, okay?”
“Even before mommy and Aunty Sarah?” she asked with her adorable little voice.
He smiled, “Even before them,” he agreed, smiling.
He flashed a smile at Sarah and I and I got those same butterflies that I used to get 7 years earlier. 7 years apart and it made no difference. I was still totally and completely head over heels in love with him.
“Okay,” I sighed. Sarah and Drew looked at me a little confused. I stood up and held my hand out to Sarah. “It's time.”
Her nervousness came back, but she was happy and excited she took my hand and stood up. I gave her a hug and whispered in her ear “I'm happy for you and you guys will be perfect together, but I'm going to kill ya both.”
I leaned back and fixed a piece of her hair. She just laughed. “No, you'll thank me.”
With that we made our way out with a chatty Ema and a confused Drew following behind us. We walked down the hall and found chaos at the entrance to the chapel area.
“Oh dear lord. I leave for 5 minutes and everyone breaks into chaos,” I muttered.
Sarah tried and failed to hide her smile but walked away when I glared at her. I turned to Drew, but my words caught in my mouth. I looked into his eyes and lost myself.
He gave me his trademark smirk, “What? Cat got your tongue?”
I snapped out of my daze. “No,” I whispered. “Will you watch Ema while I get everyone in order? Then I'll get her when I need her.”
“Of course.” He smiled.
I turned and walked away. I couldn't help but wonder if he knew about this plan of theirs? Was he in on it? Or were they going behind his back too? I didn't have time to think about it then. I started lining people up and making sure proper pairs were together. I walked back over to Drew. He had moved so he and Ema were now standing by Sarah. He didn't look mad per say, but I could tell he was having a heated conversation with Sarah. I gave an exasperated sigh and walked right up cutting Drew off mid-sentence.
“You know I can't. You're just going to-”
I grabbed both their arms and pulled them away.
“I don't know what you two are arguing about. And I don't care right now.” I looked at Sarah. “You are getting married today, stop trying to meddle in my love life and worry about your own.” Sarah flushed, while Drew looked surprised. “Now get your asses in place. Kyle's waiting.”
I picked Ema up and walked away leaving them stunned. After I placed Ema in her position, I went and talked to the guy they had in charge of the music. I stood at the door as Ema walked down the aisle throwing the petals to the floor. Then I watched as JJ walked, careful not to drop the rings. Finally I took my place in line next to Drew. I could feel his eyes on me, but I ignored him. I wasn't dealing with this reunion right now. I had too much going on as it was.
Drew and I walked down the aisle at what seemed like the pace of a snail. All the while, I could feel my heart beating a million miles a second. By the smirk on his face, and the way he kept sneaking glances at me, he could feel it too.
“Nervous?” he whispered.
And I was. I was nervous for Sarah and Kyle. I knew how much work went into this wedding; I helped plan it after all. I was nervous that the kids wouldn't behave. I was nervous to be seeing Drew and have all these feelings coming back so strongly. But most of all, I was nervous because I could see Brad in the audience and he was not happy about the choice of who I was walking with. I looked away from Brad and focused on walking. But always quick to pick up on small details, Drew noticed.
“What's wrong?”
Although I couldn't look at him, I could hear it in his voice he was genuinely concerned and trying hard not to stop walking, but at this point we reached the alter and had to part.
“Later.” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me on the cheek before taking his place. I took my place and looked out to the audience. I met Brad's eyes and he was furious. I flinched slightly and looked away. I caught Drew staring at me. He had followed my gaze after noticing my flinch. I could tell it took a lot for him not t
o beat the crap out of Brad right there and then. Just then the music changed and my frown turned into a smile as Sarah appeared in the doorway. It was hard to see her face through the veil, but there was no hiding she was nervous. Her dad patted her hand and whispered something to her. I know it helped because she visibly relaxed.
They reached the alter and Kyle stepped down to receive her from her dad.
“Who gives this beautiful woman to this handsome man?”
“Her mother and I.”
Sarah gave her dad a kiss on the cheek and when she handed me her bouquet, I could already see the tears in her eyes. I smiled at her knowing there was no way I wasn't crying now. The priest gave his sermon and Sarah and Kyle said their vows. It truly was a beautiful ceremony. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Drew. He wasn't watching them like everyone else was. He was watching me.
For a moment, our eyes locked. Every feeling I had been trying to push down since he had gotten here today exploded inside me. The events from that night flew across my vision. The fire, being so comfortable in his arms and then the fight; the yelling and the names. The feelings of being broken and lost, hating myself for him not leaving on better terms. Crying myself to sleep every night for pretty close to a year. Hoping he would write or call, but never receiving anything.
I tore my eyes from him, turning my attention back to Sarah and Kyle just in time to see their kiss. I was crying, unfortunately this wasn't a happy 'I'm so glad they finally got married' cry. Sarah turned to me and took her bouquet. She caught a glimpse of my eyes. It took her a second but she realized what was happening and she gave me a quick hug, whispering in my ear “We'll talk when we get to the banquet hall.” I couldn't force myself to object, so I just nodded.
I took one step and Drew was beside me in an instant. We walked back down the aisle and as soon as we were out of the chapel he pulled me to the side.
“It’s later. What’s going on?” He sounded like he was about to beg. His eyes bore down into mine; filled with worry and concern I never thought I’d see in his eyes again. I opened my mouth, but was interrupted.
“Stef, what the hell is going on?”
My eyes widened for a fraction of a second, and then I forced myself to stay calm. I turned around and Drew placed his hand on my arm, pulling me back towards him.
“Nothing is going on.”
“That’s a lie. What the hell is he doing here?”
“Obviously, attending a wedding,”
Brad took a step towards me and out of instinct I took a step back causing me to be standing right in front of Drew, with no room between us. Brad noticed this and instantly was furious. He reached his hand out to grab my arm, but Drew was faster. Spinning me around, Drew put himself between Brad and I. Then he turned to face him.
“You have exactly ten seconds to walk away, before I beat you for even thinking about hurting her, let alone actually doing it.”
I froze. No. He did not just say that. Brad’s eyes darted to me and I knew that next time I was alone with him it was going to be more than a handprint left. I felt myself backing away before realizing I was. He glared at Drew one more time then walked away. Drew turned around not realizing until then how truly terrified I was.
He walked up to me and hugged me. “Hey. It’s okay. He’s not gonna hurt you.”
“Why?” I whispered, into his chest.
He pulled away and looked at me. “What?”
“Why? Why would you say that to him?”
Realization crossed his face. “I just told him that people knew, and he thinks you told.”
Then I broke. We were the last two standing in the church yard. I stood there bawling into his chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I sobbed.
“Hey,” he grabbed my face with both hands and stared into my eyes. “Do not be sorry. None of this is your fault.”
“That’s not it. I’m sorry for everything else. For making us fight before you left. For ruining everything; for causing all these problems.”
“You have not caused any problems. And it’s just as much my fault for not realizing what you were doing sooner. I know you only did it to push me to leave so I wouldn’t back out. I’m glad you made me go, but at the same time I wish you wouldn’t have done it that way. I was going to ask you to come with me.”
I stood there staring at him. I had no idea what to say. He had left me speechless, and this time it was from his words, not his looks. So I said the only thing I could say.
“JJ’s yours.”
Last meal
by joshua Buroker
There are many ways to execute a convict:
you can make him tie his own noose
and hang him with it. To do this correctly
you need a crowd of people wearing cowboy boots,
a sheriff, a black hood, a trap door to fall
through, and a judge to pull the lever.
In an age of science, you may discreetly inject
him with the press of a button. All that is
needed is one way glass for people to watch, a judge
and jury, a warden, a three drug concoction created
by Nazi’s, and a doctor to pronounce him dead.
Or you can take a rifle.
Loaded and aimed in a military manner,
and strive to hit his heart with one shot. But for
this you need a soldier who has done wrong,
a chair with bindings, a squad of sharpshooters,
a commanding officer to give the final order.
Finally you may, if the power company allows,
send a surge of electricity through him. But you need
a chair with a metal helmet, a wet sponge, a wrongly
accused black man, two-thousand volts, and a
prison guard played by Tom Hanks.
There are, as I stated, gruesome ways to execute
a convict. Old fashioned, scientific, honorable, and
something a little more electrifying. But what would
have been interesting is to know what he had as a last meal.
FIRST MEAL
BY JOSHUA BUROKER
Now more then ever are ways to lose weight:
You can binge eat just to purge yourself of life’s
fuel. To do this correctly you need more food then a sumo
wrestler eats, an empty bathroom, a clean porcelain bowl,
a finger with sores and scares, and no problem with vomit.
In fashion a disorder slaughters like a plague; causing extreme
fear of gaining weight. These people see a distorted
body image in the mirror, use bad diets, exercise
more then Arnold Shwarzenegger, have a subscription to
fashion magazines, and the end is the same as Isabelle Caro.
Or you can just eat nothing at all.
Hoping this will make your pageant dress fit a little snugger,
not realizing it actually slows your metabolism, for this
you need your name replaced with a state, a fake smile,
a growling stomach, and fast food waiting in your hotel room.
Eventually you can pretend to eat healthy, but take it
too far. All that’s needed is an obscure obsession, foods that
don’t cut it, deprivation of fats, a poor excuse of a meal made
up of two peanuts and a glass of milk, and a diet that takes
over your life; controlling everything.
Here are just a few ways to lose weight the incorrect way.
Nauseatingly, socially constructed, deficiently, and eventually
with misguided education. But in order to fix the disorder
we should all start fresh, and have the first meal of our new life.
SUNNY SIDE UP
BY JOSHUA BUROKER
Ways to fall asleep vary from person to person:
>
You can take an Ambien, but take to many and
you’ll never wake up. To do this all you need is a
prescription, a doctor in a lab coat, bags under your
eyes, an addiction to pills, and a job that keeps you
up all night.
Or you could go for a car ride.
A nice long drive in the middle of the night causes
truck drivers to fall asleep. All you need is an open road
or a busy one if you want to make the news, an empty
cup of gas station coffee, your foot on the gas pedal, the
loud vibrations from the shoulder of the road, and a
dream that you will never wake up from.
The oldest way in the book takes place in the bathtub.
As cliché as them come, all you need is warm water,
a razor blade, scars from past attempts, an empty
bottle of liquor, and desperation mixed with a little
determination.
Finally you can, if you have the time to commit, spend
the evening in the garage with the car on. All that’s needed
is a car, enough fuel to get the job done, a taste for
carbon monoxide, a nose that doesn’t mind the smell,
and a garage door that seals tight.
Unfortunately as listed above are a few way to fall
asleep forever. Very pill-fully, at the wheel, engraved,
and a little toxic. They say food is the way into a person’s
heart, maybe they just needed to start there day with a good
breakfast to deter there mind.
LUNCH BREAK
BY JOSHUA BUROKER
Many ways exist to shoot a man:
Your own men can mistakenly shoot you.
To do this incorrectly you need a civil involving
north fighting south, the nickname Stonewall,
cover of darkness, trigger happy troops, and
some bad luck.
In time of our nation’s racial liberation you
may be shot for forcing change. For this you need
Thoughts from the Rock Page 8