“But you, I think, are more interested in snooping around my castle without me knowing about it.” His eyes gleamed as he looked at her. She straightened her back.
“Even if I were snooping,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, “why on earth would I come to your room with a tray?”
“Pretty bad spy work,” he acknowledged, looking theatrically skywards as though lost in thought. “Well. You’re not a servant, so you’re not here because you have to be. You mustn’t be snooping, because you’re too smart to try sneaking around a room that the Laird of the castle is currently in. So, I suppose that leaves only one explanation.”
“And that is?”
“You’re here to seduce me.”
Chapter 27
Anna froze. Donal got to his feet, closing the ledger on the desk, and moved over to her. In closer quarters, their height difference was much more noticeable — she looked up at him as he paused, close enough that she could feel the heat of his body, but not so close that she felt pinned to the door. She could still feel the handle of the door against her hip — it would be the work of a moment to open it, to slip away down the hallway and pretend none of this had happened. He would let her, she knew. He may have been something of a chauvinist, but he wasn’t the kind of man who would press his physical advantage to take advantage of a woman who didn’t want him. But that was the problem. She wasn’t a woman who didn’t want him. She was a woman who wanted him very much — ridiculous prospect though that may have been. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her mouth was dry. She couldn’t help thinking of how close the bed was, of how easy it would be to close the distance between them, to throw herself into his arms. He was so tall and broad, and she already knew he could pick her up easily. She imagined him now, taking her in his powerful arms, lifting her and carrying her effortlessly to the bed, throwing her down on those freshly washed sheets…
“Seduce you?” she stammered. She had no idea what to do. All the combat training in the world couldn’t equip her for this kind of conversation. For all her strength and resilience and grace under pressure in combat environments, romantic confrontations were a completely different ballgame, and she had no idea what to do. He was just so close — his gray eyes gleaming, the scent of him intoxicating her, the warmth of his body, so close…
“Well, yes,” he murmured, his voice low and rumbling, that gorgeous accent lilting his words and making her melt. “Here I am, alone in my quarters, and here you are, alone as well… you see, servants usually travel together, especially women, to avoid situations like this one. But you didn’t want to avoid a situation like this one, now did you?”
“I didn’t — that wasn’t what -” She could hear herself stammering, and she hated it. The problem was that she hadn’t come here for sex — far from it. But she didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t want him, because that just wasn’t true. “I didn’t come here to seduce you,” she said, hating how high-pitched her voice went. It wasn’t a strong statement. Quite the opposite.
And suddenly, Donal laughed, breaking the tension between them cleanly. He moved back and away from her, circling around to his desk and grabbing the fork. He impaled a piece of meat and chewed on it as he looked at her, his eyes twinkling.
“I’m only joking, lassie. Gosh, the look on your face.”
Anna resisted the urge to lean hard against the door, her heart pounding. He’d been joking. Of course. How hadn’t she picked up on that? It had been so convincing… had it really been a joke? Or was he just saying it was a joke because she hadn’t responded by throwing herself into his arms? Impossible to tell — and at any rate, right now she needed to gather her wits and get the hell out of here. “Very funny,” she managed, trying to summon the right combination of disinterest and scorn.
“Seriously, you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” He laughed, his mouth full of food.
Suddenly he was every bit the brash, irritating man she’d tried to pick a fight with on the roof, and she felt a flare of exasperation with him. That was useful, she thought, seizing that feeling. She could use exasperation.
“I was just trying to help out the kitchen staff,” she said irritably, trying to settle her breathing. Why did she feel so disappointed? “They’re overworked enough as it is without me loafing about, not pulling my weight.”
“That’s very good of you,” Donal said, his eyes flicking down to the ledger he was looking at. “Overworked, you say? I’ve been thinking of employing a few more staff. Blair’s been at me for weeks.” He shuddered a little, theatrically.
Anna smiled at the thought of the gimlet-eyed woman pursuing the Laird for staff increases.
“If you say it’s needed…”
“It is,” she said firmly. “Do what she says.” Maybe she could turn this whole thing into an argument about whether the castle had enough staff to cover their domestic labor requirements. After all, she was a woman — maybe he’d listen to her about domestic concerns. He made a note on a scrap of paper as she watched. “Anyway, I’d better — go. Enjoy your dinner.”
“Thank you, Anna,” he said softly, smiling at her. Then — as she was halfway through the door — “And do let me know if you ever do come here with the intention of seducing me. I’d be more than willing.”
Anna opened her mouth, then closed it again. The entire inside of her head was like radio static — she couldn’t for the life of her think of a single thing to say. So instead, she just fled the room, rocketing out of the door and slamming it shut behind her, too hard. She leaned against the timber door for a long moment, trying to let her heartbeat settle, fighting the urge to just run back into the room and throw herself at him. Completely ridiculous, that impulse. Absurd. Why, she had no idea where he’d been — it was the sixteenth century, who knew what kinds of terrible malady he might give her? But somehow, she didn’t believe that he’d slept around as much as he seemed to imply with his comments about the servants all having crushes on him… he’d just been trying to make her jealous. And what was worse, it had worked!
How blindingly obvious have I been about my feelings, she wondered as she walked down the hallway, headed for the spiral staircase, forcing herself not to turn around and go running back to his room. Had he noticed the long, lingering looks she’d given him on the roof? Had he seen how she’d watched his hands on the weaponry in the armory? Or was he oblivious to all that — did he just find her attractive, hence the attempted seduction in his quarters? Surely not… surely a Laird like that had plenty of women to choose from. What would he want with her? She wasn’t bad looking, she knew that, but she’d never considered herself particularly attractive. Maybe that was why she’d settled for such terrible men in her time, she thought with a frown.
That was another thing… the terrible men she’d dated all suggested that she had pretty bad taste in men. Maybe her attraction to Donal was another in a long list of terrible ideas from her heart. She’d felt these kinds of butterflies for Billy, after all, in the early stages of their relationship, and look where that particular entanglement had gotten her. Would she have to chase Donal off with a sword if she followed this particular passion to its inevitable conclusion? Somehow, she suspected that Donal would be a lot harder to scare off than Billy had been.
But still… some part of her refused to believe that Donal could be as bad as Billy. It just didn’t make sense. He was the Laird of a castle — that meant he had to be trustworthy on some level, even if it was only in an administrative capacity. All the women she’d met spoke highly of him. Surely if he was some kind of monster the information would have gotten around. And the Sidhe, whatever they truly were, they must trust him… why else would he be in charge of a clan dedicated to maintaining good relations with them? Why would Maggie have liked him so much? Why would Maeve, if he was secretly a bad guy? Yes, he was sort of a chauvinist, and his opinions about women were backwards… but that wasn’t unusual for the time they were in. Maybe she could change his mind…
Change his mind by sleeping with him, Anna? Sure, that sounds right… after all, men always change once you give them what they want, right? She rolled her eyes at herself. What terrible timing, this crush. It was deeply distracting. She’d almost lost sight of her plan, which was beginning to come together. She had a servants’ outfit, which meant she could sneak around the castle all she wanted (making sure to avoid Donal, who seemed to have figured out that she was snooping somehow…) And she had a weapon, which was making her feel good. If anyone tried to cross her, they’d have another think coming. She made a note to do some drills when she got a chance, just to get her hand back in with the dirk. After all, it wasn’t a historical weapon here… anyone she came up against would definitely know how to fight with one.
She just needed to focus, that was all. And that meant putting firmly aside any thoughts of having sex with the handsome Laird of the castle. Too complicated, all of that. She needed to get home much more than she needed to get laid… though she had to admit, getting laid was a very enticing proposition. When had been the last time she’d had good sex? Had she ever, really? She’d only had a few sexual partners in her life, and none of them had been especially life-changing… not the way books and movies and TV shows seemed to suggest was a possibility, anyway. She shrugged off her servants’ clothes and climbed into bed in her quarters, smiling a little at the soft feeling of the freshly cleaned sheets. She could almost smell the sunlight, the heather, the long afternoon of drying in the sun. It wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep.
It wasn’t really a surprise to find herself lost in rather erotic dreams of Donal all night, she supposed. She was a little surprised with how creative her subconscious was, though… they seemed to be travelling all over the castle in her dreams, making love in his quarters, then in the kitchens, then outside on the grassy hillside, wrapped in drying laundry, and then even in the little boat he’d used to save her from the Loch. She woke up from time to time, feeling rather flushed, kicking the blankets off then pulling them back over herself.
In the morning, she felt distinctly unrested — and rather frustrated, if she was honest. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to… er, take matters into her own hands. That would mean admitting that this crush she had was serious. So, she got up, dressed herself quickly in her servant’s clothes, and headed downstairs for breakfast. She wished the cold air was a little bit colder… on the way down the stairs, she pressed her forehead against the cold stone walls of the castle. That helped a little bit, and she was more or less in control of herself when she stepped into the dining hall for breakfast.
Maeve was there already, and she greeted Anna cheerfully. They ate together, Anna unsure of whether to tell the woman about what had happened the night before with Donal. She had to admit… she was a little embarrassed about it. And she didn’t want Maeve to know about the secret feelings she was harboring for the Laird, and she knew she couldn’t trust her face to disguise how she felt. Still, Maeve seemed to know something was wrong — she kept glancing sideways at her as they chatted about inconsequential things.
“Are you alright, Anna? You seem a little… out of sorts.”
“I didn’t sleep very well,” she admitted. That was true, at least — she didn’t want to lie to Maeve, after all. “Strange dreams.”
“Oh, aye, that’s natural. It’s the full moon tonight, I always find I sleep poorly in the lead-up. A womanly connection, perhaps.”
“Maybe,” Anna agreed neutrally. It was a womanly problem she was having, alright, but she didn’t think it was the moon that was to blame….
Chapter 28
With breakfast done and dusted, Anna decided the best way to spend the day would be finding another way to make herself useful. While her end goal was to get into the occultists’ quarters and start poking about in their books, she wanted to establish herself as a trusted member of the servants, first — and what better way to do that than to volunteer in the kitchen? So, when she’d finished her meal, she carried her bowl through the double doors to the kitchens, where a flurry of activity almost took her breath away. There must have been dozens of servants, all rushing this way and that, clearing plates from breakfast even as a handful got started on lunch.
And there stood Blair in the midst of it all, presiding over it like a general presiding over a battlefield. She moved this way and that, giving instruction, scrutinizing how clean the plates were that were being scrubbed by a handful of servants. The way the men and women of the kitchens reacted to Blair was rather funny — they looked like soldiers being inspected, their backs stiff and their faces carefully kept blank. Anna hid her amusement as she added her bowl to a collection that seemed to be ready to be washed. Blair’s sharp blue eyes turned to her, widening just a little bit in recognition.
“Anna. Good to see you again.”
“Can I help?” she offered, gesturing around the kitchen. She recognized a couple of her friends — Emily and Amelia, both scrubbing a huge pot that seemed to have been used to cook porridge. Emily gave her a little wave, then returned to her work.
“Hm. Not here,” Blair said, scanning the kitchen carefully. “You could clear tables. Then take some trays up to the third floor. A few of the scholars have been working all night in those windowless rooms. Us bringing them breakfast is often their first clue that morning’s come,” she added, with a disapproving little sniff.
Anna got the feeling that Blair was the kind of woman with a perfect sense of time — she could probably tell you the time by the minute without even checking a clock.
And this was a perfect job — an ironclad excuse to go upstairs and have a proper look through the occultists’ quarters. Perhaps she’d get lucky and even find them out, one of those huge bookshelves she’d seen unattended… but that was unlikely, if they’d been working all night. Still, it would be good to get inside their quarters, perhaps meet and get to know a few of them. The more well-known she was, the less suspicion she’d raise if she started sneaking around and asking questions. Anna planned her course of action as she helped the servants clear the tables in the dining hall. She was grateful, on some level, that she hadn’t seen Donal yet that morning. It seemed someone else had been given the job of taking him a meal up to his quarters. Probably still working — or else sleeping in after too late of a night. Well, good. He deserved a few poor nights of sleep after what he’d put her through, intentionally or otherwise.
Once the tables were clear, she looked around the kitchen — and sure enough, there was a large tray where Blair had indicated the scholars’ food would be placed. She lifted it carefully, finding the balance of the precarious tray, then headed out of the hall and up the stairs. Nobody gave her a second look. She was invisible again. That felt powerful, oddly enough. Most people would have felt a little strange to be so profoundly ignored by everyone around them, but for Anna, who’d had to get used to be being the shortest person in the room hundreds of times in her life, being ignored had a curious kind of power to it.
Sure enough, the room Blair had sent her to was occupied — there were two men in dark robes sitting together at a table. Dozens of spent candles littered the table around them, and a couple were still burning. They both turned around when she entered the room, clearly surprised by her presence despite the polite knock she’d given before she’d opened the door.
“Sorry, sirs,” she said, slipping into the kind of language the other servants used. “But it’s breakfast time. Thought you could use some fuel.”
“We worked all night again?” one of the men said blearily. He had dark hair, while his companion’s was an auburn shade of brown. They both wore the badge that Donal had shown her — the badge proclaiming their loyalty to the castle, the Sept and the Clan. She moved over with the tray of food, pleased to note that there were two bowls of porridge on it, as well as a selection of pastries.
“You’re a godsend, thank you,” the auburn-haired man said gratefully — then looked up into her
face, blinking his blue eyes a couple of times. “Hm. You’re not Emily.”
“No,” she said, smiling — it was nice that these men knew the servants by name. “I’m Anna.”
“That name’s familiar,” the dark-haired man said thoughtfully. “And your voice isn’t. Are you the one the Fey sent?”
“Aye, she is!” the other man cut him off, excitedly. “The lassie Donal pulled out of the Loch the other night! Has he put you to work already?”
Anna laughed. “No, no — I volunteered. Didn’t want to spend my days just sitting around.”
“Well, we could use you up here,” the dark-haired man said roguishly. “That’s if Blair ever lets you go. I’m Jamie, this is Douglas.” He gestured to his companion, who nodded his head in greeting.
“Good to meet you both. What are you working on?”
“Nonsense, largely,” Douglas said, rolling his eyes. “This one reckons the old books foretell something or other about the full moon tonight… I think he’s bonkers, myself, but that hasn’t stopped us spendin’ all night reading about it.” He gestured at the table — sure enough, it was covered in enormous tomes, some of them laying open at various pages. They had paper, too, covered in notes — but to Anna’s dismay, as she peered at it, she realized it wasn’t in English.
“D’ye read Gaelic?” Douglas asked, following the direction of her eyes. “The Fair Folk speak an old version, did they teach you any?”
“I was barely with them,” Anna admitted. “I wasn’t able to learn much of anything, I’m afraid.”
Jamie was peering at her intently. “Still — it’s not many who meet the Sidhe themselves. And nobody’s come to us from quite so far as you have. Most Changelings are only out of step with time by a few years at most. I understand you’re from our future?”
“A few hundred years, yes,” she said, nodding.
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