by E. M. Moore
He wedges between my legs, and I open for him. A slick wetness drips from my pussy. It’s an embarrassingly large pool. A knot forms in my stomach as I push his hand south. His fingers brush over my folds, and I work my hips up into him. “I’m so wet,” I tell him, breath coming out in rushed gasps.
“Oh, Mia,” Nathan counters. “If you could only feel me right now. I’ve never been so hard in my life.”
My mind starts to veer toward the why and the how, but as soon as Nathan sinks his finger into my core, I blank. “Fuck, Nathan. Shit. What are they going to do to us?”
“Who cares? I’ll die happy,” he murmurs as he moves his finger in and out. I move with him, forcing the pace. I didn’t think I’d be able to feel this with anybody else. This kind of pleasure should only be reserved for my true mate.
Maybe instead of fixing me, Greystone broke me. It’s the only reason I can come up with as to why this feels so damn good.
“Forbidden fruit,” he whispers. With his teeth, he moves my shirt up and then lowers himself between my legs, all while his finger explores inside me.
“Nathan,” I warn as he gets into position. This feels like too much. It’s not an accident anymore. We can’t just say that his finger accidentally pushed inside me and his mouth somehow lined up with my eager pussy so he could lick me.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asks.
Tremors overtake my body as his breath hits my core. “No,” I mewl.
“Good.”
He feasts on me, devouring my pleasure as it leaks down my thighs. He licks me until I’m trembling. Rimming his finger with his tongue, stimulating my already sensitive flesh.
When he gets to my clit, I can’t help the inhuman cry that parts my lips. I peer down at him, full concentration spanning over his face. “If you don’t want to make me come, you better stop,” I warn him, fingers clenching into the dirt below me as I rock into his face. “I mean it.”
This is the point of no return.
Instead of stopping, Nathan closes his eyes and groans like he’s eating his favorite meal.
I surge forward, both feet over the orgasm ledge. My climax crashes into me in waves of pleasure and disbelief. He works his finger in and out of me rapidly as I squeeze around him, his tongue still exploring me as I give him everything he wanted. “Nathan....”
“Keep coming,” he insists, never wavering. “Right on the tip of my tongue…”
“Nathan,” I breathe out harshly, sensations still coursing through me.
He licks my clit, and I explode again. “Fuck!”
My voice echoes down the hill as his lips suck my sensitive nub, prolonging my orgasm until my voice is raw and it looks like my body is seizing on the ground.
With mercy, he pulls away, and we lock eyes. His have gone a silver blue—the same tone as his wolf’s. It makes me shiver right down to my very core.
I see him in a different light now. Nathan, my friend, my shoulder to cry on, has just given me the best orgasm of my life.
5
The post sex high crashes quickly. Nathan’s chest still heaves as he stares down with a confused expression. A douse of fear suddenly hits me. He wasn’t pretending I was Gayle, was he? I just might murder a bitch for that.
His next words calm my worries. “Jesus, Mia.”
My stomach tugs with apprehension. Despite what I could fool myself into in the middle of that passion-fueled romp, what we just did could have serious consequences.
“Shit,” Nathan says, scrambling off me.
Not caring if I stretch out his shirt, I pull my knees up and tuck it around my whole body.
He runs his hands through his hair. Propping himself up on one arm, he hikes his other knee up. The storm clouds keep rolling in. Off in the distance, thunder snaps like an angry god.
The part of me that had fun wants to ask Nathan what he’s thinking right now, but the other part of me that’s freaking out about shifter laws and fucking fate is quelling that shit real quick.
We just gave Fate the middle finger. Both fingers, in fact, stuck up in the air with no care in the world.
“Mia....”
“Don’t talk,” I say, holding my hand out. Maybe he was right earlier when he didn’t want to discuss the kiss. How am I going to talk to him about what just happened? His tongue was on my vajayjay. And I fucking liked it.
I search for my wolf inside me, wondering what her thoughts are in all of this, but I don’t feel her at all.
“Shit.” I stand, my mind blanking. “My wolf. My fucking wolf.”
Nathan stands alongside me in alarm. “What about her?”
“She’s not there. I can’t feel her.”
He reaches out to grab my arm, but I sidestep him. I can’t handle him touching me right now, because I don’t want to fall into his arms again.
“Calm down,” he says, voice low and careful like he’s talking to a frightened cat. “Mine’s still there. I’m sure you’re fine.”
“No,” I growl back. “I’m not fine.”
Anger comes then, consuming me. Everything is most definitely not fine. I just let my best friend lick me into an orgasm after receiving the news that I only have two weeks to get my mate to accept me. The tragedy of my situation hits me like a brick to the face. The carelessness to which these people have treated me—treated us. It’s unfair. There’s no other way to put it.
This time, when Nathan puts his arms around me, I don’t tell him to stop. I let him pull me in, my fingers working into his chest hair as his comb through my brown tresses.
“She’s there. Just center yourself. Deep breaths.”
I close my eyes and level my breaths like he’s asking me to. Within a minute, I feel her again, right where she always is. When she notices me searching for her, she comes to attention. Alarm rings through me, but I quickly reassure her that we’re not in immediate danger.
Immediate being the operative word.
We’re definitely in a shit ton of danger. If, by chance, Nathan and I can keep what we just did quiet, I still have a ticking clock above my head.
I imagine myself standing on the brink of a large forest after having been driven down a dark, desolate road for hours and hours. It’s unfamiliar. Unwelcoming. It’s for those of us who are Feral. Conventional wisdom tells me there will be no one in the forest waiting for me. They’ll be dead or wish they were….
Nathan kisses my temple, and my eyes fly open. He’s done that so many times before, and I never thought twice about it. It was just a gesture of friendship—something to show me he cares.
“Relax,” he soothes. “I won’t try to seduce you.”
I blow out a breath. The agitation has somewhat subsided, but I’m still in a world of shit. “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I tell Nathan honestly.
“I do,” he says. “You’re going to take Ebon’s advice. You’re going to go to Daybreak, and you’re going to show Sean what he’s missing out on.”
I fret over my lip. Those are a lot of pushy words, urging me toward someone else, for a guy who just sucked my clit.
“It’s the only choice you have,” Nathan says, as if he’s answering the question I haven’t voiced yet. “It’s the only choice we both have.”
I grind my teeth together. “You’ll be next.”
“I’m well aware.”
“It’s not fair,” I grind out.
“It never is, Mia.” He steps away, eyes back to their normal blue hue again. “So, when are we leaving?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I didn’t actually tell Ms. Ebon yes,” I explain. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I said no.”
His hands turn to fists. “I can’t believe these words are going to come out of my mouth. Mia, you have to go. If no one else, it has to be you.”
His skin ripples, his wolf peeking through here and there. I can feel his explosive anger vibrating off him, reverberating through my chest.
“I know,” I say quietly.
My heart fissures like the splinter of wood when the axe comes down.
Nathan roars, his voice thinning into a howl as he shifts on the spot. Tattered clothing scatters everywhere, and he turns toward the moon, the glowing sphere silhouetting his dark muzzle. Before he lunges away, his blue eyes find me, and through their reflective surface, I see myself staring back at him.
Pain. It’s the one word that comes to mind as he runs away.
My wolf feels me crumble to the rocks at my feet, so she takes over, shifting into her true form as I lose myself. I long for a friend, and she’s the closest one I’ve got. Kinsey is off living the life she should have, and I can’t imagine telling Nadia what Nathan and I just did. She’s the innocent, sweet type. She’d probably keel over from shock.
My wolf’s paws gently maneuver around the rock on the flat surface of the hill. Lightning shoots through the air, and several seconds later, thunder follows, rattling our ribcage. The first drop of rain hits her pelt, and my wolf takes off at a full run, narrowly avoiding the natural obstacles of the forest, until she clears the tree line and heads right for the little hut so I can change back into my clothes. Once I’m inside, the sky opens up. Raindrops pummel the roof as I shift back to human form and pull on my clothes. I would’ve liked her to stay in control for a while longer, but I’d only be delaying the inevitable. Nathan and Ms. Ebon are right: my future lies in Daybreak.
A crack of thunder follows my train of thought.
I’m no longer Sean’s little rejected shifter. I’m going to Daybreak, and I’m coming back swinging. He’ll either fall in line or his ass will be gone.
When it comes down to him or me, I choose me—something no one has done for a very long time.
My stomach flips, and I realize that’s not true. Nathan’s in my corner. Only, we may have just fucked that up for us both.
The door to the hut creaks open. I blink toward the doorway, finding Nathan’s black wolf strutting in. We’ve run together so many times that I know his wolf almost as much as I know my own. He comes up to me, nudging my hand, and I pat his soaked head. He nudges me again, then uses his teeth to grab at the hem of my skirt. Before my mind goes into the gutter, I realize he’s telling me he doesn’t have any clothes since he shifted on the spot.
It’s against the rules to enter Greystone Academy in your shifter form. “Wait right here,” I tell him, scratching behind his ears. His tongue lolls, and I head into the pouring rain to check the other huts for clothes that someone may have left behind. I score two hoodies in different huts, so I run back to Nathan, shaking off the raindrops as I enter.
My friend sits on one of the benches, his legs crossed to obscure any view of his package. A package that, only a few minutes ago, was hard for me.
My breath hitches, but I avert my stare and throw the two hoodies at his feet.
“You were right earlier,” Nathan says, his smooth voice filling the hut while the rain still pitter-patters overhead. “We should’ve talked about the kiss.”
“Shh,” I whisper, looking around.
He moves into view, one hoodie tied around his waist with the fabric draping down his backside and the other tied the opposite way, the fabric obscuring his front. It looks like he’s wearing a sweatshirt-skirt. Honestly, he could wear whatever he wanted, and he’d still look good.
“No, I can’t,” he says. “I’ve been pushing down these feelings for fucking months because of the conflict rolling inside me, and I finally realized the thing that will make me the most upset. It won’t be if I don’t get to touch you like I want, it’ll be if you end up Feral. Alone. So, I’m going against everything I want in this moment, and I’m telling you to go to Daybreak, and you’ll either fully mate with Sean or we’ll figure something else out. You’re not going Feral because of him. And you’re certainly not going Feral because of me.”
For months?
He’s been harboring feelings for me for months?
“You’re such a girl,” he says, smirking. “Your mind only heard one thing, didn’t it?”
“Fuck off,” I tell him.
“I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” he says, sliding his hand through my hair to cup the back of my neck. “But we have to fight. Before, we said we couldn’t ever turn them in if they were doing something because their demise would ruin us. I’m well past that. I don’t have loyalty to Gayle anymore. My loyalty is to you. Do you understand?”
I reach my hand up, touching the area between my breasts where I still feel the connection to Sean. “You don’t feel it anymore?”
He looks away, jaw tensing. “I didn’t say that. But it doesn’t matter. If they can play their game, we can play one, too. If necessary,” he tacks on.
If we’re to believe all the shifter tales about fated mates, Sean and Gayle should be dying to be at our sides. When we walk into Daybreak, everything could change. Or they could stay the course. One thing is for sure, I don’t know how I feel about giving Nathan up for the guy who’s abandoned me for over a year.
I don’t know how anyone expects me to get my mate to accept me when I’ve spent over a year trying, but Nathan is right. It’s life or death time. Which means, all bets are off.
“Go to Ms. Ebon,” Nathan orders. “Tell her you’ll attend the Winter Solstice festivities. If we can all go, I’ll help you.”
I lift my hand to grab his wrist. “What about you though?”
“I’ll do the same.” He moves forward, bending low to whisper in my ear. “But I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to forget how you taste.”
I slowly melt into a pool of lava.
This is my best friend we’re talking about here, and still, shivers wrack my body. I lift onto my toes and say a very un-friend-like thing. “I hope you never do.”
With that, I pull away and jog toward the door. I swing it open and sprint toward the front entrance of the academy. Determined. Sheets of rain coat my exposed skin, steeling my strength.
As soon as I make it inside, I head right for Ms. Ebon’s office. I knock twice and let myself in. She casually spins in her chair, as if she’s used to students barging into her office. She takes in my drowned state, my academy shirt clinging to me. “If Daybreak will let us go back, I’m in.”
Ms. Ebon nods once. “Excellent choice, Mia.”
I want to roll my eyes. “It’s not as if I had one.”
“Not true,” she says as she reaches into a drawer to her right, pulls out a piece of paper, and shuts the drawer again. She flicks her gaze to me. “You had the choice to accept what you’ve been given. I’m glad to see you’ve decided to fight.” She licks her fingers and spreads out three sheets in front of her. “Be ready to leave within forty-eight hours.”
She returns her focus back to the paperwork without another word. I turn on my heel and walk away, slapping wet shoes up the stairs and all the way back to my room. When I get there, I text my mother and tell her the good news, almost laughing when it takes her forever to get back to me. That’s great, dear.
Oh, I’m sure it is. She’s most likely wondering right now how I’m going to ruin her parties, but I won’t even be paying attention to her. I have my own wars to win.
6
I prowl the hallway between classes, my skirt swishing against my mid-thigh as I dart my eyes around the corridor. When I spot the door I’m looking for, I stop next to it like I’m just loitering, waiting for a friend.
It’s the door to the academy’s salon. Something I wasn’t aware they even had until Kinsey got a makeover. My advisor must really be a piece of shit. Not that I’m all caught up in my looks or anything, but a spa day would’ve been nice in a place like this.
Casually, I reach out and try the knob. It spins easily in my hand, and a mixture of surprise and happiness rings through me. Add a little bit of saltiness and that’s pretty much my whole emotional state right now.
The wooden door opens to a relatively small room. Unlike the rest of this beast of a building, this space is
all white. A wall full of mirrors greets me, showing off my brown hair. I haven’t cut it since I got here, so it’s tickling past my shoulders. My purple and yellow plaid skirt jumps out in all this white as I close the door behind me.
Just like Kinsey said, to the right are drawers of makeup, each labeled with varying tools and supplies—foundation, eyeshadow, contouring brushes.
I stayed up all night working on a plan for Daybreak. Lately, I hadn’t thought much about going back there again. When I first arrived, I did. But as the months dragged on and Sean started showing up less and less, I disassociated myself with my pack.
Well, since I’m stepping foot back on Daybreak Pack property again, I need a change to feel more like myself. For my first shift, my mother begged me to strip my hair to its natural brown color. I appeased her, mainly because I was so nervous about shifting and the reality that I might actually find my mate that night. If she thought the best thing to do was to go back to my roots—literally—I was going to do it.
Now, though, I realize plain brown hair is so unlike me. I want something more. I tiptoe toward the mirrors, spying a line of cabinets underneath them. The faces are also labeled, and I want to kiss the person who put this place together. I find the hair dye cabinet and mentally cross my fingers that they’ll have what I want.
It takes me a minute to sift through them all. Just when I’m about to give up, I’m rewarded by finding a stock of fun colors underneath some normal ones. A squeak of surprise passes my lips when I spot the purple. I do a little dance, then clutch the box in my hands and hold up the picture to my brown locks. I frown. What I had in mind won’t work with my hair’s current color. I dive back in, grab the bleaching kit, and spot a true black. I pull that out, too, holding it up next to the box of purple and smile.
Turning, I see Ms. Ebon is standing in the doorway and nearly jump out of my skin. I bobble the boxes and clutch them to my chest before they have the chance of dropping to the floor. While my heart races at breakneck speed, I stick my nose in the air. I’m not about to apologize for being here—something I should’ve had the luxury of to begin with.