by E. M. Moore
“He’s going to accept you,” Nathan says forcefully. His tone is so sincere—and alpha—that it makes me sit up in my chair a bit. He moves his neck back and forth, his bones snapping and cracking. “I’m sure you’ve already gathered this but forget about what happened. Focus on the one thing that can save you, okay?”
When I gaze up at him, it’s as if there’s a chasm between us. For so long, he’s been my life preserver. I don’t know if it’s because he’s trying to put a wedge between us or if I’ve already put one there, but I get what he’s saying. “I want this for you, too,” I tell him sincerely. I want nothing more than to be back at Daybreak with Nathan. It won’t be easy, but I’ll forget how he felt between my legs when he’s right down the street rather than Feral somewhere. If either one of us goes that route, we’ll never know what happened to the other.
“I know you do,” he says.
“So, you’re going to try?”
“Like hell.”
“If you need me—”
“I know that, Mia. I’ve always known that.” He rubs his temples. “I think we should double-team them. If we’re up their asses, they won’t have the chance to see each other. Plus, if we find them together, their asses are going down.”
My wolf, who’s been just underneath the surface of my skin since Ms. Ebon told us we were going home tomorrow morning, perks her head up. A chill runs through her and passes to me, sprouting goosebumps over my arms.
He glances away. “I don’t like the idea either, but we have to do what we have to do.”
I swallow. “How’s your wolf feel about that?”
His lips thin. “He’s fine.”
Which means he probably isn’t. The glee my wolf feels about returning to Daybreak alarms me. What if I get there and lose my head? Forget about what Sean did to me? I know that’s kind of what I’m aiming for, but if he breaks my heart again, I’ll run away myself. No mandate needed.
“Do you think they know we’re coming?”
“I haven’t texted Gayle. I thought a surprise would be better suited. That way they can’t run and hide.”
Nathan has always been certain that Sean and Gayle are together when they shouldn’t be. He’s the one who opened my eyes to the reality of the situation. Maybe it’s because I never wanted to see it, but after I brought it up to Sean, he stopped coming as often and would only show during mandatory sessions. That pretty much affirmed my suspicions right there.
Nathan leans against the table, his button-up shirt straining. “We can do this, Mia. No matter what.” He reaches out, his fingers sliding over mine on the table. An electric shock passes between us, and my wolf immediately begins to pant.
I tear my hand back, staring at my buzzing fingers. Every time Nathan and I are together, it seems like more questions arise.
Nathan gets up from his seat like he didn’t just feel that. He passes by me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “See you in the morning.” He lingers there for a little while, but another shock doesn’t happen.
When I can’t smell him anymore, I press my forehead to the wooden table in front of me. The papers scattered about the oak are just my ridiculous attempt at trying to compartmentalize.
Nathan is right. I won’t need any of this work after tomorrow morning. Best-case scenario, I’m back at Daybreak. Worst case? The last thing on my mind will be worrying about whether or not I’m caught up in my classes.
I glance up, tearing off the piece of paper that sticks to my forehead. I gather the whole stack together, march to the nearest trash can, and drop them inside. Turning, my gaze snags on a leather-bound book. Emblazoned in gold, the words Mate Law jump out at me. This library is filled to the brim with non-fiction. The extensive collection contains everything that has to do with what we study here: civics, etiquette, and the whole gamut of mate-related paraphernalia you could ever want to read about.
I drag my fingers along the spines. There’s everything from centuries-old books to new ones like Shifter Mates for Dummies. I roll my eyes at that one, but the next one over makes me pause. It’s a red leather book with The Truth About Mates embossed in silver.
I tip the top off the shelf as I scan the front cover before deciding to pick it up. Flipping to the table of contents, I don’t even really know what I’m looking for except the fact that I’ve been mated for over a year now and I don’t know anything about having one.
The first section is about finding your mate, but the next may as well be written in bold lettering for as much as it’s been on my mind lately. “Mate Feelings: Real or False?”
I gaze up at the librarian as I hook the book under my arm, returning to the table to settle in with what I should already know about fated pairs.
This will either be eye-opening or boring as shit.
8
The book wasn’t exactly as illuminating as I wanted it to be. Still, it’s in my travel bag with me the next morning as I wait on the front stairs of Greystone Academy with three other Daybreak shifters—all of whom went to school with me on pack grounds. Most of them came to see me when they first got here, like I was the Godfather or something. I was surprised they didn’t kiss my non-existent ring.
Nathan strolls out last. I swallow at the sight of him walking down the stone steps, backdropped by the imposing structure behind him. He’s done something different with his hair and trimmed the scruff on his face. He looks like a heartthrob from one of those teen movies. If the real world only knew he was actually something supernatural, human girls would be throwing themselves at his feet.
Not that he’ll ever get the chance to go to the human world. The eight packs isolated us away from them, and even then, it’s as if humans know there’s something different about us. They don’t come near.
“Hey.”
I smile as he rolls his luggage next to mine, butterflies erupting in my stomach. I can’t stop staring at his five o’clock shadow, the same hair I felt scrape against my thighs. I didn’t know that was a kink of mine, but I certainly do now.
Wait. Reverse that. Not a kink. Can’t be.
His eyes narrow at me, and I glance away. It’s hard enough having to fight this attraction internally. I really don’t want to have another conversation about it. We’re both on the same page; unless we want to end up Feral, we have to make our mates accept us. I’ll deal with my weird attraction to my best friend after I make that happen.
“Nervous?”
I shrug. “A little. My mom’s probably going to piss me off, so there’s that.”
Nathan nods knowingly. His parents are more chill than mine, but Daybreak has a lot of families in the pack who are all about appearances. To have a daughter or a son sent to Greystone, it’s practically socialite suicide. That’s why my mother tries so hard to act as if I don’t exist.
“What do you think Sean and Gayle are going to say?”
He chuckles, and the sound goes straight to my core. I’m so caught up in the sensation that I almost miss his answer. “Let’s hope they throw themselves at us. It’ll be a lot easier.”
Yes and no, apparently, because I can’t get my head to shut up about the shifter in front of me. We never should’ve fucking kissed. Even when we felt that pull between us, we should’ve fought it. All we’ve done is open a door that neither of us should step through. Well, step through again.
“You look good,” I tell him. “Gayle’s crazy if she doesn’t see it.”
His gaze slides to mine. Everywhere he looks is like a physical touch. He takes his time perusing my face until I’m so caught up with what he’s doing that I lose myself. He reaches out, and my heart nearly stops ticking. The ends of my hair slip through his fingers. “I always thought Sean was crazy.”
It’s like the forbidden fruit is in my throat, and I have to swallow hard to gulp it down, hiding it from view. With nerves skating over my skin, I brush my hair behind my ears and stare ahead. Two black cars are moving up the drive, the Daybreak symbol etched into the rear glass.
/>
This is it, I tell myself.
The doors behind us open, and heels clack against the cement. Ms. Ebon moves in front of us while the cars are still traversing the lengthy driveway. “Daybreak Pack,” she addresses us with a tight smile, and I wonder where the hell our own advisor is. Did she up and forget that we’re actually her job and not Ebon’s? “I’ve just received communication from your pack. Instead of spending the festivities with your parents, you’ll be housed in a dwelling on your alpha’s property. They also wish for you to wear your Greystone Academy uniforms at all times.”
“What?” Nathan growls while the other three pack members whisper to each other hoarsely.
I catch Ms. Ebon’s gaze. This is not what we discussed. The point in returning to Daybreak was to put Greystone behind us, as if that’s the factor that’s keeping Sean and me apart. “So, basically, we’re still going to be branded rejects,” I retort.
“I assure all of you that this was not a decision that Greystone Academy made. This is coming from your pack.”
Alice, the latest Daybreak member to show up here, steps forward. “I didn’t even pack any of my academy stuff. Why would I? I thought we were going to enjoy the Winter Solstice.”
Ever smooth, Ms. Ebon doesn’t seem the least bit flustered. “You’ll have to take that up with your alpha.”
Ms. Ebon strides up the stairs, and I hurry over to her. She stops, waiting for me to get there. “This isn’t right,” I tell her.
Nathan stands next to me. Ms. Ebon takes him in, then directs her stare to me. “I’m not happy about it either, Miss Adams, but there’s nothing I can do. I had a brief communication with the office of your alpha this morning, and they assured me that this was what your families wanted too.”
I glance over my shoulder to find the others watching me like I’m their savior. Let’s get real, I can see my mom doing this because she wants to pretend I don’t exist, but their families? Could they all be like mine? Or was this something that the alpha wanted in exchange for letting us back there?
Either way, I don’t have anything Greystone on me, and I’m not about to change.
I huff, shaking my head. Before I can turn around, Ms. Ebon says my name. I stop, and she stares into my eyes. “Regardless, the plan is still the same, yes?”
“Yes,” I growl out before spinning on my heel and returning to my luggage while the two black cars come to a stop in front of where we’re standing.
“This is bullshit,” Nathan mutters.
“Total bullshit,” I agree. I watch as the drivers get out of the vehicles. “Listen, let’s just get in the cars. If we don’t show up with our uniforms, what are they going to do?”
The word punishment flashes through my mind. Alpha Richard isn’t known for having a soft heart.
Nathan puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me away from the nodding group. “You shouldn’t make waves. What if they keep us locked up in this house on the alpha’s property instead of seeing our mates? What good will the trip to Daybreak even be, then?”
My hands turn to fists, anger and defiance slicing through me, each one volleying for the top spot. “This was about returning to something normal,” I tell him. “If it is my last time at Daybreak, I sure as hell don’t want to spend it with my Greystone Academy uniform on.”
The huge doors open to our right, and Lydia Greystone’s assistant walks out with a handful of garment bags. Both drivers move up the stone steps and take a pile each before returning to their cars and placing them in the open trunks.
I guess our decision’s been made for us. I shouldn’t have expected anything different.
Nathan stalks ahead, scooping up his luggage, along with my own, and moving toward the last car. He helps the driver place the bags in the trunk before opening the back door and waiting for me.
The nerves I’d felt before have receded. In their place is a black hole of unjust, echoing around the dark space.
I walk down the steps and slip past him to scoot over the seat. The other three Daybreak members head toward the other car. Nathan and I have pretty much established ourselves as the leaders of Daybreak Pack at Greystone Academy. It’s as if we have tenure or something.
The Daybreak driver gets behind the wheel while we wait for the other car to load up, then starts the two-hour journey home. I watch him for the first twenty minutes or so. He never peers back at us, nor opens his mouth to have a discussion.
Even Nathan is oddly quiet. He fidgets at first, then settles into the seat calmly. We don’t utter a word out loud in case the driver is a spy, but he eventually texts me. Bet I can get him to say something before the end of this trip.
Me: Haha. Doubtful.
Him: Oh, it’s on.
He sets his phone on his thigh, screen down. I glance over casually, not trying to bring any attention to us.
The next thing I know, Nathan starts laughing maniacally.
I peer over at him, brows pulled together. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was losing it. “Sorry,” he says. “I was just thinking of that virgin sacrifice we had to do in class the other day.”
I press my lips together, peeking to my right to find the driver quickly averting his gaze. “Yeah, that was crazy.”
“I felt bad for the Feral wolf we stoned, though.”
“Mm-hmm,” I respond, not exactly sure I should be going along with this, but what the hell. “Honestly, my favorite class is Dating 101. I can’t handle all the dark stuff.”
Nathan gets a faux dreamy look on his face. “Like when we made Valentine’s for our mates? You always were the softy.”
I narrow my gaze at him playfully but play the part. “It’s better than the scare factor they use on us. Remember when they led us out into the middle of the forest and left us there? They dressed like Feral wolves and scared the shit out of us all night.”
Nathan has to press his lips together to keep from laughing. His eyes shine. “The worst part about that night was not having any toilet paper.”
I chuckle. I can’t help myself. For the last half hour of the trip, Nathan and I make up stories about Greystone Academy. Pretty sure we’re just trying to make the other laugh with the ridiculous things that come out of our mouths, but it’s a bonus that the driver is getting uncomfortable. The worst part happens when I realize we actually start telling real stories. No, we didn’t have to stone a Feral girl, but we did do a project on how love fires in the brain. Like love is a science or something.
Nathan and I both snap our mouths shut as soon as we enter Daybreak Pack territory. A feeling runs through me, skittering over my pale skin. It’s an awareness of where we are. As shifters, we’re supposed to be able to sniff out our kin and find them anywhere. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of home that would sit in the pit of my stomach.
I haven’t been any place that felt like home in a long time.
My phone buzzes, and I peek down at the screen. Nathan’s text reads, Are you okay?
I nod instead of typing out a long reply of the various feelings running through me right now. After that, the story game we were playing is replaced by staring out the black car’s windows as we search for anything familiar. The closer we get to the center of town, the more the feeling of rightness sinks into me. A sense of place. A sense that I belong here.
My wolf stands from that little piece inside and comes to life with a howl. I reach up, placing my hand on my heart, wishing I could let her out to play. She’s bursting at the seams to run with her people again. She’s happy she gets Nathan, and sometimes the other Daybreak students, but running with the whole pack would be a dream. The oneness. The community. It would be like fitting the last piece of a puzzle into place.
I blow out a breath. It’s a lot to take in all at once.
I flick my gaze toward Nathan to see how he’s holding up, and he’s already staring at me with a perplexed expression. His eyes shutter and open as if in slow motion. Immediately, when my mind starts a course for
what we did together, my stomach roils in acid. It feels more wrong here than it ever did when we were at Greystone.
A part of me is kind of happy about that. If it keeps up, I won’t have to wrestle with whatever the hell is going on between me and Nathan. I can just focus on Sean—the one person who can keep me alive.
Eventually, the sleek, black car in front of us pulls up to a gate. The driver punches in a code, and the metal slats swing in. I’ve been to the alpha’s house before, but only for parties.
I lean over the seat. “Do you know if we’ll get to see our parents?”
The driver has the decency to focus his gaze on me, but he doesn’t answer. He just moves his attention back to the road as he follows the other car.
Instead of taking the driveway toward the main house, he keeps on a path that is less taken care of. We bounce around the backseat with every rut and root along the trail until we hit a fork in the road. We turn down a dirt path that traverses in and out of the forest, ending up far away from the huge mansion Alpha Richard lives in. I’m about to ask the driver how much further we have to travel yet when the car in front of us suddenly stops.
I sit up in my seat and peer just beyond the vehicle in the way. It’s a cabin. My whole body deflates. A rustic, worn building in the dense forest. Even though it’s broad daylight, it’s dark in here under the canopy of trees, casting a shadow over the structure. “Are you serious?”
The driver’s face pinches when he looks at me, and I want to ask him what his damn problem is. But then I remember that we’re the ones at Greystone. To everyone outside that place, we’re the ones who did something wrong. We’re the ones who need to be punished because our fated pairs rejected us.
I share a look with Nathan, and then we both swing open our doors to find similar faces on the other Daybreak Pack members.
Wonderful. Outcasts again.
9
I slam the car door closed, and a second later, the squeak of a much lighter door closes with a whack. Everyone turns their attention toward the screened-in porch where Alpha Richard is making his way down the stairs. He’s a huge shifter who shaves his head bald. It’s kind of odd to see him in his wolf form because he has a gorgeous, thick dark mane that rivals every other shifter in show factor.