by E. M. Moore
I laugh. It’s such a Jonah thing to make me promise. Come to think of it, I’m sure Nathan will say the same thing, but I’m not going anywhere without him.
Real fear slices through me. I thought I was nervous about escaping—about what I’ll find or won’t find close to Twilight territory—but the real fear that settles over my shoulders now is if I’ll have to do it without Nathan. Or if, somehow, I’ll lose him in the process.
Like I said, a hundred different things can go wrong. I squeeze my eyes closed. “Fuck.”
“Deep breaths,” Kinsey reminds me. “You have to go out there and act like nothing is wrong. We don’t want Sean getting suspicious.”
“When are Nathan and I leaving?” At this point, I’m thinking the sooner, the better. Or that could just be the restlessness in me talking.
“We’ll give you a signal. We’re going to create a diversion that will take at least Sean and Gayle’s attention off you both. I’m glad you told me she was having second thoughts about the rejection because that could complicate things.” She frets over her lip.
“Don’t tell me that.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she scolds. “That’s a problem for Jonah and me. You do what we discussed, okay?”
I nod, my throat thick with trapped emotion, and take a deep, steadying breath. As soon as I see Nathan, I’ll feel better about this.
26
I was wrong.
Nathan is on Gayle’s arm, and the jealousy that thrums through me almost brings me to my knees. It’s debilitating. It’s humiliating. It’s downright painful.
Panic shoots through me. What if he won’t come? What if he’s forgotten about me?
All of my worst fears might be materializing in front of my face, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Sean leans over, his foul fingers trailing up my arms. It’s a good thing this dress has fabric all the way up my shoulders because I’d be forced to puke about now if he makes skin-on-skin contact. “I guess they found their way back to each other.”
His hard voice is nothing compared to the beating of my heart. It’s a real, tangible warning drum, every pound threatens to move my feet forward and rip her away from him. And what a spectacle that would be.
I gaze around the beautifully decorated room for Kinsey. Jonah picked her up, and they said they would meet us here, in the ballroom of Alpha Richard’s mansion—because, of course, every house of the alpha has to have a ballroom. Sheer white draperies cascade over large windows that circle the space. The gauzy fabric drops from ceiling to floor ethereally. Everything is white, from the marble floors to the chair covers to the fine china. The only pop of color are the silver candelabras on each table.
“Mia.”
I recognize that surprised voice. As I scan the room, my mother comes into view. She looks downright stunning in a sequined emerald gown. Her long train trails behind her like she’s a queen from the days of old. “You clean up quite well. Nice to see you and Sean here together.”
Sean loops his arm through mine, and I stifle the roll of nausea that sweeps through me and place a composed grin on my face. Truth be told, this is the first time I’ve thought about my parents since Kinsey told me I was escaping tonight, leaving on my own terms so my pack can’t flip the script and decide a different fate for me. I can’t muster any sympathy for what this might do to them. In my eyes, they abandoned me when I was left to rot at Greystone.
“Hello, Mother. You look beautiful,” I relent.
My father moves forward and gives me a hug. My shoulders stiffen as he does so. Though, he’s a nice man, my mother is almost the exact opposite of him. She makes no move to embrace me, but the relief on her face that I’m currently with my assigned mate is clear as day.
I never thought of them having a bad pairing. I only saw it for what it was: fate approved. Now that I really look at him, though, I wonder if he feels the same way. Maybe he’s felt the brunt of my mother’s harsh words the same as I have. Everything is appearances to her. Nothing made that clearer than when I was at Greystone and barely heard anything from her. “Thank you,” she beams. “What do you think of the decorations?”
“Absolutely stunning,” Sean quips, inadvertently saving me from having to answer, I’m sure. He doesn’t understand my strained relationship with my parents. How could he? He’s been at Daybreak this whole time. He’s only trying to act the part of interested mate so he can bide his time with ruining me.
Mom wears a prideful smile. It lingers on me for far longer than it has as of late, and I can only imagine she’s dreaming about me finally being accepted back into pack life on Sean’s arm. To any outsider, this is exactly what us coming here together looks like.
My mother waves at another couple and then threads her arm through my father’s, dragging him off. He peeks at me over his shoulder as he’s being ushered away, but I can’t worry about him right now. If he really wanted to talk to me, he certainly didn’t need my mother’s permission to pick up the phone and call me while I was at Greystone.
“Where are your parents?” I ask, scanning the crowd and attempting to not spy Nathan and Gayle again. I need something to keep my mind off them before I go crazy.
“They’re around, I’m sure.”
His disinterested tone makes me look at him. The cut of his jaw is solid steel. “What?” I ask, knowing there’s something that he’s not offering up.
“None of your business,” he grinds out, flashing me a warning look.
I swear, if we weren’t surrounded by all these people, I’d punch him in the jaw. My wolf flicks her tale in solidarity with me. She’s been itching to get out. Inside, she’s mentally preparing herself for the escape tonight. She can’t wait to run, to get away—something that also lends credibility to Kinsey’s theories. My wolf should want to stay with her pack at all costs. The group mentality is strong.
I guess bonds don’t withstand everything, though. The people in charge haven’t attempted to help me at all, so her base animal instincts are kicking in. We’re ready to do it by ourselves.
Well, by ourselves with Nathan, of course. He’s a part of us now.
Inadvertently, I seek him out in the crowd. He and Gayle are sitting at a table together. She’s wearing a gorgeous, flowing, yellow dress. The diamonds in her ears sparkle. She’s blocking my view of Nathan, but it appears as if they’re sitting a little too close together.
My stomach squeezes. What bit of food I ate is threatening to come up and mar this beautiful white marble floor.
“Come on,” Sean states, dragging me toward a table. For some odd reason, he takes me to one in the front, next to the area where the pack alphas will more than likely be giving speeches later. Nathan and Gayle are almost on the other side of the room, closer to the area where couples dance to the string section currently playing off to the side.
Before I sit, I spot Jonah and Kinsey entering the room. I lift my hand to show her where we are, and Sean growls. “She’s always around.”
“They’re my friends,” I counter. “Wouldn’t it look weird if we didn’t sit with people we like?”
“I don’t like her. She’s much too...independent,” he says.
That she is.
My wolf scratches at her proverbial cage. She wants to show him a thing or two about how we can also be independent. I don’t know if we’ll ever get the chance, but just leaving will make him miserable. He’ll stay connected to me for the rest of his life, feeling this bond that he’s tried to suffocate. I can’t think of a more fitting punishment.
I really feel for his wolf, though. Trapped inside Sean’s body. I don’t know how he even managed that. I know he doesn’t have complete control because his wolf forced out once, but who knows what Sean has done since then to prevent it from happening again.
Before Kinsey and Jonah can make their way toward us, the lights dim for a few seconds. The strings stop playing, and when the lights turn on, Alpha Richard stands in front of the white podi
um. We’re so close to him I can feel his thrum of protectiveness over his pack. He’s the glue that keeps us all together. The one who sets the systems.
If Kinsey’s theories are correct, he might be lying to all of us. About mates. About bonds. Forcing us to act a certain way for who knows what reason.
His words settle over us all. With him in the room, it’s hard to think about escape. My mind chants wrong over and over again while he preaches. After he’s finished, he joins his table again, and the feeling goes away.
I breathe out, and Sean peers at me. “You felt that, too?”
“What?” I ask, avoiding his gaze.
“The mate pull linking us together when he spoke.”
“I felt no such thing,” I assure him. Leaning over, I give him a grin as I say, “I can now tell you with certainty that there’s nothing about you I want, Sean.” The wolf in his eyes flares to life, and my heart picks up the pace, but I don’t back down. We’re shifters. Our wolves don’t exist freely outside our bodies. If they did, I would feel bad about saying that. Come to think of it, if they did, I wouldn’t have to feel bad because his wolf wouldn’t be associated with him.
I peek behind me. Instead of finding Kinsey and Jonah making their way toward us, I see them zigzagging through the tables, making their way to Nathan.
Awareness trickles over me, and I scan ahead of them, finally meeting Nathan’s gaze. He doesn’t blink as we stare. The look on his face is complacent, neutral. I wish I could crack him open.
Worry and fear mix together in a toxic cocktail of doubt inside my head. When Kinsey moves into view, I’m almost relieved to have broken the staring contest between the two of us. Instead, I hold on to what he’s said to me in the past. He already broke the bond. His feelings for me did that. If what he said wasn’t just pretty words, then I should have no fears about what he’s doing over there.
Right now, Kinsey and Jonah are probably telling him we’re escaping tonight. He’ll be completely on board, mentally preparing himself to run.
I have to believe that.
Sean sighs. “This is all so boring, isn’t it? Can you imagine having to do this with each other for the rest of our lives?”
If I had a pen, I’d stab him in the eye. “What? Socialize with other people? Or just the socializing with me aspect?”
“Both. When I look out, all I see are people who are paired together by some cosmic joke. Your mom doesn’t even like your dad. You know that, right? Yet, they felt compelled to be together to make you,” he sneers.
“Fuck off.”
He gives me a malicious grin. “They’re all mind-controlled, but they can’t see it.”
“Careful, Sean. That sounds a lot like treason talk. You wouldn’t want to end up like Robbie.”
“Robbie’s an idiot,” Sean spits. “You can’t escape the pack. They’ll hunt you down. My idea is so much better than that.”
“You mean your idea of getting rid of me? How do you know it will work? Maybe you’ll mourn me for the rest of your life? Maybe you’ll feel so terrible for what you did that you’ll just kill yourself.”
Sean laughs. “I highly doubt that. You know that witch that was going to break the bond? She says she has a way to mute my wolf. I won’t care one iota about you being buried six feet underground.”
I blink at him, my heart fissuring in my chest. “Why would you do that to him? You won’t be able to shift. You won’t be able to do pack things. You don’t think anyone will notice?”
“No, I’ll still be able to do all of those things. I’ll just be in control all of the time.”
“You’re demented,” I growl. “You’re clearly a psychopath.” I thought only the human world had those types of people, but I guess it’s true that you never know who you’re dealing with. “I’m ashamed I was even paired with you.”
My stomach rolls with the knowledge. What does that say about me that fate was like, “Hey, I know the perfect pairing for her. This guy.”
“Aww, that’s probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I open my mouth to retort, but Kinsey grabs my shoulder. “Bathroom break.”
“What?” Sean growls.
She sneers at him. “Bathroom break. You know how ladies always go to the bathroom in pairs? I need her.”
Sean rolls his eyes, but that doesn’t stop us from getting up to exit the ballroom. He doesn’t follow, doesn’t seem the least bit suspicious that something might be happening. I know why, too. He just said that no one would ever escape the packs. He thinks I would never try, assuming my only goal is evidence of the relationship he had with Gayle, which I’m sure he’s confident that I’ll never find. If there was proof, it’s most likely long gone by now.
Kinsey fake gags as we leave the area. “I can’t believe I just said that.” She shivers in horror.
I laugh because it’s exactly like her. She’s not the kind of girl who thinks we need to go to the bathroom in pairs. My initial reaction subsides, and a knot forms in my stomach. “Did something happen?”
She grins, and switches positions with me so I’m walking against the wall. We walk by an open door, and a pair of hands shoot out to grab me. Kinsey chuckles as I’m imprisoned against a hard chest. Nathan’s aroma engulfs me before I can panic. The door closes, leaving us isolated together. In the dark, my lips seek his. We come together in a frenzy of fevered touching and heated kisses. He grips my chin, almost to the point of pain, but he assaults my mouth like he can’t get enough. His growl reverberates through the room when he comes up for air. “Don’t you dare doubt us.”
Kinsey must have told him I was worried he’d go back with Gayle. At this point, I don’t even care that I’m being chastised; I’m happy to have his tongue down my throat, erasing all those thoughts. “So, you’re in it with me?” I ask when I come up for air. “We’re leaving tonight?”
He nips at my lips. “We’re leaving tonight.”
27
Nathan returns to the ballroom as Kinsey and I take that bathroom break. “That was dumb,” I sigh, still giddy from Nathan’s fervent kisses.
“Sometimes, the risk is worth the reward. I was watching out for people. You were fine. No one even noticed.”
I take a deep breath, smiling at a woman who enters the restroom behind us. I move closer to my friend. “So, we’re all on board?”
“You didn’t talk it over with him?” She lifts a brow.
I shake my head. “No, we were otherwise engaged.”
She smirks. “He’s all for it.”
“Well, I got that part,” I blush, only highlighting the rose-colored powder I’d placed there earlier. “But he knows what to do?”
“Mm-hmm. Wait for the signal. We’ll do it during dinner while everyone is preoccupied.”
My stomach twists in knots. There’s so much riding on this. “When’s—”
Just as I’m about to ask when dinner is, a chorus of hard plinks sound from the other room. The woman washing her hands quickly dries them. “That would be dinner,” she says, leaving in a plume of perfume.
I fan my face.
“Be casual. Be cool.”
I nod, following Kinsey back into the room. Sean’s staring in the direction of the door, his foot tapping against the marble, and when he sees me, he visibly relaxes. Jonah glares at him as the two of us make it to the table, which now boasts two more couples. “I thought I’d have to send a search party after you,” Sean says flippantly, a touch of a warning in his voice.
“I told you it was just girl stuff,” Jonah remarks.
Kinsey leans over, giving him a kiss on the lips as the couples now seated with us titter like they’re the cutest couple alive. They kind of are, but whatever. Conversation moves, as it always does, to mates. The couples seated with us are both from Daybreak, so they ask Kinsey and Jonah question after question. None of them bother to ask Sean and me. As far as they’re concerned, I have a scarlet A on my gown. They already know our story.
I breathe out, centering myself and not allowing the nerves to take over. I’ve been letting things happen to me this entire time. I sat there at Greystone like a good little shifter. I played their game. Now, it’s time to play mine.
My pack didn’t want me. My mate didn’t want me. It’s time for me to live out the rest of my existence with someone who does.
Kinsey brushes my leg with hers, and I straighten, waiting for the sign. She told me it would be obvious, something I wouldn’t have to second-guess. When it happens, I am to leave the mansion through the southwest corner of the grounds. I’m to wait for Nathan there for a maximum of three minutes. If he doesn’t show, I’m to shift and race to the car. I’m allowed to wait there for another few minutes. If he still doesn’t show, I’ve been told to leave without him.
I won’t, but that’s what I’ve been told.
I hope it doesn’t come down to that.
Someone hits their fork on the water glasses again, and I perk up, believing it’s the announcement for the next course. There’s movement next to me as Sean stands, grabbing his glass and clearing his throat. I gape at him, worry cascading over me at what he’s about to do. He gives a nervous laugh as the whole room turns toward him. “Good evening, Winter Solstice guests. My name’s Sean Collins. I’m a pack member of your hosts, Daybreak. I have some amazing news to share with all of you.” He peers down at me. To everyone on the outside, he must look like a lovesick fool. I blink at him, dread boiling in the pit of my stomach. “My mate and myself have been separated, and I’m happy to tell you all that I’ve just accepted her.” He beams down at me, a sickening spark in his gaze.
A roar sounds from the other side of the room, and I gasp, looking past Sean to find Nathan shifting in the middle of the ball. His tux shreds as his claws curl. Jonah immediately springs into action as a chorus of excited exhales ring around the room. He barrels into Nathan, still in his human form. The table collapses under the weight of both men.