by Bella Jewel
I glare at the fucking devil standing before me.
“So, I decided, I’m going to kill Braxton. I’m going to let you watch, Dakoda. Watch, and sit in here with him until his body starts to rot, and then I’ll let you go. Let you live every day with that image, so you know what fuckin’ happens when you cross me.”
No.
My stomach coils and I glare at the man in front of me, wanting, somehow, to fucking blow his head off.
Only I know I can’t.
And he knows I can’t.
“You fuckin’ touch him …” I warn.
“What?” Shanks laughs. “What are you going to do to me? Me? Nothing, boy. That’s what.”
“You fuckin’ do a single thing to him, and I’ll come after you. I’ll spend my fuckin’ life chasin’ you until I find you and kill you. I promise you that.”
Shanks bellows with laughter, shaking his head as he holds my eyes. “Please, I deal with people like you—heroes—daily. A lesson will be learned here today. I suggest you take it, because if I see you again, you’ll wish you were never born.”
Shanks raises his hand and one of his men steps forward, putting a gun in his hand. I don’t think, I just lunge, my broken body hurling toward him. I don’t get far enough before three of his men toss me back, but not before they take hold of me and beat me to a bloody pulp. By the time I land on the ground, I’m barely conscious, but I won’t give up. I can’t give up.
Braxton.
My brother.
My life.
My twin.
I look over to him and start dragging my fucked-up body over. I reach him and grab hold of him around the back of the head and look into his eyes. “Fight, Brax,” I hiss.
He shakes his head, and a lone tear runs down his cheek. “I can’t fight this, you know I can’t. I’m going to die here today. But know this, Dakoda, you did everything you could. This, it isn’t on you. It is on me. It is my fault. I don’t ever fuckin’ want you to live with guilt. But promise me you’ll find him, and you’ll make him suffer for what he’s about to do. I get out of this easily, you’re the one he’s going to torment forever.”
Tears, bloody, burst forth and run down my cheeks. I don’t fucking care if I’m crying. Because I’m helpless. So fucking helpless. I have no way out. I can’t stop what’s about to happen to my brother. I can’t stop it, no matter what I do, I can’t fucking stop it. I can’t save him. I’m his brother, and I can’t save him. Pain explodes in my chest, and I bring my forehead to his. “I’m sorry, Braxton.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. Do not carry guilt. I love you, Dakoda. Fuckin’ forever.”
“That’s enough,” Shanks growls, and two of his men haul me off Braxton and pull me away.
I fight, thrashing, my body in that much agony I can barely breathe, but I fight anyway. One last pathetic attempt at saving my brother. Shanks steps forward, pointing the gun right at Braxton’s forehead. “Should have made you suffer more, but it pleases me to know your brother is going to see you die, and he’s going to suffer enough for the both of you.”
“No,” I bellow. “No!”
Braxton kneels, all the fight gone out of him, and my bellows of agony fill the room as Shanks pulls the trigger. Braxton slumps backward, the life being sucked out of his eyes as he lands on the floor. My roars of pain fill the space, and the two men toss me to the ground, and I crawl, brokenly, toward him.
“Enjoy that.” Shanks laughs.
Then they’re gone.
I pull Braxton’s bloodied head into my lap and cry, so fucking hard I can’t breathe.
I’m so sorry, Braxton.
I let you down.
I fuckin’ let you down.
I’ll never forgive myself for this.
And I won’t rest until Shanks is dead.
I will not rest.
I’ll do whatever it takes.
I will find him.
And I will kill him.
-21-
NOW – CHARLIE
“Go out and see who is at the fuckin’ door, Charlene,” Carl growls at me, and I get up off the sofa, more than ready to run out of here and walk to the door.
If it wasn’t for the fact that Oliver is working day and night to bring my father down, I wouldn’t be here, but I have to act normal. I have to pretend everything is as it always was, nothing can change. I can’t act any differently. If my father got wind of what I’m doing, I’d be dead.
Dead.
I open the door and three men are standing, all about Carl’s age, maybe a little older. Early twenties, I guess. Carl told me they’re all selling for my father, all working for him and running his operation on the streets. I’ve never met them before, but I don’t really care to, either. Anyone who has anything to do with my father, is nothing to me.
Two of the men walk past me, not acknowledging me at all.
The third one glances at me as he walks by, and I notice he’s quite good looking. Better looking than most men I’ve seen working for my father. Dark blond hair and the most gorgeous honey-colored eyes I have ever seen. It’s his eyes that make him striking. He’s probably a little too skinny, clearly whatever drugs he’s selling he’s also using, and his skin is a little greyish. But I imagine that when healthy, he’d be an incredibly good looking man.
“Hey,” he murmurs as he walks past.
I don’t see him again after that.
But I don’t think I’ll ever forget those eyes.
I bolt upright with a gasp, my hand flying to my chest. No. It can’t be. How the hell didn’t I realize this sooner? I glance over beside me and see Koda staring over at me and those eyes, the color of soft honey, stare back at me. I start panting as realization hits. It all comes crashing into my mind, into my body, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
And I was just too stupid to see it.
I’ve met Braxton. Briefly, yes, but I met him once at Carl’s house. I had forgotten that face, I had forgotten meeting him, and how seeing Koda didn’t trigger this memory sooner, I don’t know, but it’s real.
And that means everything I’ve believed in the last few weeks is so incredibly wrong.
Tears, tears that I haven’t allowed out for so long, burst forth and run down my cheeks, and I shove out of the bed, panting and upset, horrified at how utterly stupid I’ve been. How naïve, how fucking dumb.
“Charlie,” Koda says, getting out of bed, his eyes on me, narrowed with concern. “What’s goin’ on?”
“You … you … you … liar!” I scream.
He startles and takes a step back.
“What the fuck is goin’ on?”
“You’re not here to protect me because you’re passionate about protection, you’re not here because you care, you’re not with me because you genuinely like me, you’re fucking here because of my father, you asshole!”
He stares at me, but I don’t let him keep talking.
“I had a dream, and in that dream, I had a memory. A memory of meeting a young man that looked exactly fucking like you. A young man who was working for my father. A young man that was selling drugs.”
Koda’s face hardens, and I know, I know in that instant that I’m right. I’m so damned right. He knew all along who I was. He knew all along who my father was. And he knew all along exactly why he wanted to be close to me. Because he wants my father. He wants revenge. And he used me to get it.
“You knew …,” I whisper through my tears. “All along, who my father was. You knew who put the hit out on me. You knew who I was.”
His fists clench.
“You fucking jerk!” I scream.
“He fuckin’ killed my brother,” Koda roars, swinging his fist into a nearby lamp and sending it flying until it shatters against the wall. “He fuckin’ killed him, right in fuckin’ front of me, and left him there to rot for five fuckin’ days before lettin’ me go. Knowin’ I’d live the rest of my fuckin’ life with that image. So yeah, I fuckin’ knew
who he was the minute I heard your name. And yeah, I wanted in on this so I could find him and fuckin’ kill him.”
My bottom lip trembles, and my heart does break for Koda for having to see first-hand the kind of heartless monster my father was, but what he did to me was unfair.
“You let me sit here,” I cry, “and tell you the deepest, darkest parts of me, when all along you already knew most of it. You lied to your club, you lied to me, and you fucking betrayed me. I thought this mattered … I actually thought we had something …”
“We fuckin’ do,” he roars. “I didn’t expect to care for you, but I fuckin’ do …”
“Bullshit,” I scream. “You’ve probably been waiting for the perfect moment to use me, to toss me over to my father so you can play out your revenge. You … God …”
I turn and run out of the room.
I need to get out of here.
I can’t be here anymore.
“Charlie!” Koda roars, but I’m running.
Hard and fast.
I run out of the cabin and straight ahead into the trees, getting as deep as I can before taking a sharp turn to the left. I can hear Koda’s roars through the trees, telling me to stop, to come back, it’s dangerous.
But I don’t care.
I thought he cared about me.
But he didn’t. He fucking didn’t. He just wanted revenge, and he was willing to do whatever he could to get it.
Tears burn my eyes and run down my face as I run so hard I can barely breathe, my lungs are burning that much. Still, I run and I run until I reach the road, I flag down a car, and for about five minutes nobody stops. I know that in a few minutes, Koda will roll past and find me. Finally, a car comes to a stop, and two girls wind down the window.
“Hi, I’m a bit lost, and I can’t get any signal on my phone,” I sob pathetically. “Can you give me a ride into town?”
The girls look to each other, glance down at their phones and thank god, they have no signal, and then they nod. “Yeah, get in.”
I climb in and whisper a broken, “Thank you,” Before giving them the address to the bar that’s just down from the club. I won’t lead them right to the club gates, I wouldn’t do that. They’d probably freak out. But that’s where I’m going, to Malakai, to tell him I never want to see Koda again in my life, and he needs to give me new protection.
We reach the bar in about twenty minutes, and I thank the girls, who both nod and smile at me. Then I climb out. I swipe the backs of my hands over my eyes and turn, walking in the direction of the club. It’s about four blocks away and traffic is heavy, moving down the main highway. Morning traffic. Everyone heading to work.
I put my head down and walk.
And I don’t hear them approach.
I’m not paying enough attention, and I should be.
God. I should be.
Out of nowhere, a hand curls around my mouth and I’m hauled off the road and into an alley beside an old, unused red brick building. I scream and fight, but there is no use, whoever has me is bigger and stronger, and god, what the hell is wrong with me? In my hurt, I didn’t, for a single second, think of my safety. I didn’t think anyone would be watching the club. I didn’t think everything could change in a few blocks.
“Hello, Charlene.”
I know that voice.
I’m spun around, and three men are standing behind me, but it’s the first one I recognize. It’s Carl. He’s aged a lot in the last ten years, but there is no missing him. After my father got locked away, I never knew what happened to him, but I guess he stayed loyal after all. I stare at the man that at one point I had been intimate with, and my eyes must give away my surprise.
“Didn’t think I was still around? Of course you didn’t. Shanks is goin’ to be thrilled at how incredibly fuckin’ stupid you are, walkin’ down a main street, in broad daylight. What are the chances?” He throws his head back. “What are the chances?”
“Let me go,” I snap, going to lunge forward, but all three men quickly pull out a gun and point it at me.
“I’ll happily scatter your brains and take you back to your father dead, claim the money, live pretty fuckin’ good. But I know he’d much prefer I brought you in alive so he could kill you himself.”
My stomach coils tightly, and I feel sick. So damned sick.
What the hell have I done?
“Now, we’re going to walk down this alley and out the other side where my truck is. You’re going to do everything I tell you, because if you don’t, I’ll blow your brains out. Now, shall we?”
He puts an arm out, and I stare at him, and I know he can see the fear in my eyes. There is no point in hiding it anymore.
I’m about to face the monster I’ve run so long from.
“Oh, this is going to make Shanks’ entire day.” Carl laughs.
Oh, God.
Someone … help me.
~*~*~*~
THEN – CHARLIE
Oliver laughs, and for the first time in a long time, I smile. Really smile. It feels a little weird at first, foreign almost, because it isn’t something I’m used to. Smiling. It’s so surreal. But that’s how he’s making me feel, he’s making me feel happy inside. He’s such a nice man, and he’s so easy to talk to. He’s been working on the case for four months now, and every chance I get, I come in here and sit with him, chatting, talking over things, and having fun.
I always bring him a muffin and a cappuccino. He keeps telling me I’m making him fat, but he’s far from fat.
If I’m being honest, I have a little bit of a crush on him. It’s hard not to. His personality is addictive. He’s kind, and funny, and so genuine. I’ve not met another genuine person in my life. Well, Rebecca is a good person, but I can’t say I’d call her genuine. Oliver is genuine. The real deal. He is proving to me there is still so much good left out there.
He’s the first person I’ve believed in for such a long time.
He might just get me the freedom I’m so desperately seeking.
“Have you gotten any more information on the deal that’s going down?” he asks me, sipping the coffee I brought in.
“Yes, I have a date and a time. I heard my father talking last night.”
Oliver’s eyes widen. “Well done, Charlie.”
He’s the first person who has ever called me Charlie. He kind of came up with it on his own, and I must admit, it’s nice. It’s like having a whole new identity. When he calls me Charlie, I feel like I’m on a clean slate. Like I can be whoever I want. Like I’m not the girl who has done all those bad things. Like I’m just … reborn.
“Thank you.” I smile. “So, does that mean you have enough now to take him down?”
Oliver smiles, and my eyes zone in on his dimples. I like his dimples. They’re nice. They light up his face.
“Yes,” he tells me. “If we can work it out perfectly. I have to have a plan that is basically fool proof. If anything goes wrong, he’ll know we’re close, and we’ll lose our chance. But I’ve gone through everything you’ve given, everything you’ve brought in, and if we can take them down during this massive deal, we’ll be able to put him, and anyone close to him, away for a very long time.”
And that’ll mean freedom.
Pure freedom.
My heart flutters at the thought.
What will life be like, if I no longer have to live under his control?
How will it feel, to be able to walk down the street without a care in the world, to live on my own, to have a job, to find a nice man, to do all of those things?
Like a normal girl.
“How are you feeling about it all?” Oliver asks.
“Nervous,” I admit. “I think I’m putting way too much hope into this, and I’m scared of getting disappointed, but I’m so so close to having my life back, to being free, to just live again without him breathing down my neck.”
Oliver stands and walks over, kneeling in front of me. He takes my hands, and my heart does a silly littl
e flutter. “I’ll get that for you, Charlie. I will. I’ll get you the freedom you not only desire but deserve. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”
“Oliver?” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
“What if something goes wrong out there? What if something happens to you, or to me … or …”
He squeezes my hand. “You won’t be anywhere near it. I’ll already have you in a safe location. Nothing will happen to me, Charlie, but if for some horrible reason it did, I have at least five other officers with full instructions on what to do with you, where to send you, and how to keep you safe. I have something else for you.”
“You do?” I smile.
He nods and stands. He walks to his office, and opens his drawer, pulling out a folder. He walks back over and sits beside me, handing it to me.
“All your new identification documents. Of course, you have to leave them here, but when this is over we’ll move you from this city, start you again, get you safe. But I thought you might like to see them.”
I stare at him, and my eyes burn. I glance down and pull out my new passport and giggle when I see the name.
He changed my name to Charlie.
His special name for me.
So really, not only has him giving me this name made me feel like I’m being reborn, but the fact of it is that it’ll actually be who I am when this is over. Charlie, a new person, a new life.
I wonder what it’ll be like, to be Charlie on the outside world, too. And not just in this office.
I wonder if it’ll be everything I ever imagined.
“I love it,” I tell Oliver, “because now, I’ll remember you forever.”
Not that I’d ever forget him.
No, I never could.
“You’re welcome.” He laughs. “I thought you’d like it. You just have to put your trust in me now, Charlie. I’ll get you safe. Do you trust I can do that?”
I look at him, and memorize those eyes, and the calm cool and collected features that make up his handsome face, and I know, I know I can trust him.
I know, that no matter what, he’ll find a way.
Yes, he’ll find a way to free me.
-22-