by Bella Jewel
I blink back the burning tears threatening to escape, and step away, letting my hair drop. I turn and face Slater, tipping my head and looking up at him. If I’m open with myself, I can see why I loved him, and I’m sure I did love him. There is something safe about him. Something strong, and incredibly beautiful. Even now, I want to curl myself into him and never let go, just so I don’t have to be scared ever again.
“Thank you for bringing me home,” I whisper.
He nods, and stares down at me, so intensely I’m forced to pull my eyes away and turn. “Goodnight,” I murmur.
“Goodnight, darlin’.”
His words penetrate deep.
And I make a vow in that moment to try harder to remember.
To do anything I can.
Because suddenly, I really want to know what Slater Knight meant to me.
And I won’t stop until I find out.
~*~*~*~
THEN – SLATER
“So, you and Ellie?” Damon says, crossing his arms and staring at me. “Knew you had a thing for her, but thought you’d at least give me a chance.”
I grunt, and keep shoveling the dirt as I make a garden bed in the yard. This old house needs maintenance, and it’s about time someone started doing it. I use the back of my hand to swipe the sweat from my forehead, and then glance at Damon as I toss the dirt off the end of the shovel.
“Both you and I know, she’s always been mine.”
Damon huffs. “Fine, just this once I’ll let you have one. It isn’t easy for women to resist my charm, so it’s only fair you get a win every now and then.”
I chuckle, “Thanks a fuckin’ lot, brother.”
Damon grins. “You’re welcome, but, if you hurt her and she runs away from this family, I’ll hurt you, Slater. She’s special to us. Don’t fuck it up.”
I straighten and stare at him, holding his eyes. Know exactly what Ellie means to each and every member of this family, hell even dad adores her. I wouldn’t do anything to fuck that up. Because they need her. Almost as much as I do.
“Hear you, loud and clear.”
Damon nods and then stares down at me. “And for fuck sakes, put a shirt on. How are the rest of us supposed to rope in chicks when you’re getting around with the guns out. Give us a fair chance.”
I laugh and whack him in the shoulder, and with a grin, he turns and struts off. Damon hasn’t filled out yet, but I know when he does, he’ll be a big guy, he’s already broad across the shoulders for his age. Runs in the family, really. Lincoln is already nearly at his full size, and he’s fuckin’ huge. I’m getting there.
More of this shoveling will help.
“Slater.”
I look up and see Lincoln coming around the back of the house, blood pouring from so many areas on his face I don’t know where to start. I drop the shovel and move quickly, reaching him in a flash. He’s in a bad way, messed up.
“What the fuck, Lincoln? What happened?”
“Won a fight, got a lot of cash, that’s what happened.”
I stare at him. “You won a fuckin’ fight? Don’t look like it.”
He glares at me, even through all the blood.
“And what the fuck do you mean you’re fighting? Where? For who?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he growls. “It’s extra cash, want you to do a few rounds. You got it in you, Slater. You’d kick ass in there.”
I shake my head. “Fuck no, you’re playing with fire, brother. Sellin’ drugs, now this…”
“Yeah,” he hisses, “And are all the bills paid? Food on our table? Dad covered?”
I grit my teeth, because he’s right, the cash he’s bringing in, it’s good. It’s solid. It gives us more than what we need.
“You’re goin’ to get yourself killed, or worse…someone else.”
Lincoln’s eyes flare, and he leans in, I can smell the coppery blood. “Never let anything happen to a single person in this family, Slater, so don’t you fuckin’ worry about it.”
“And when is it goin’ to stop?”
“Soon.”
He steps past me and walks towards the house. “And what if that trouble follows you here?” I yell at him.
“It fuckin’ won’t, stay out of it, Slater.”
Fuck.
I’m tired of him pushing me aside.
Anger bubbles in my chest, but I say nothing more.
Because it’s a fight I won’t win, he’s made that fuckin’ clear.
I turn around and start shoveling again, this time harder, and angrier.
“What did that shovel ever do to you, Slater Knight?”
I look up, panting and dripping with sweat, to see Ellie leaning over the fence, her arms hanging on, her big smile lighting up everything she’s around.
“What are you doin’ climbin’ fences, darlin’. If you fall and break a bone, then we can’t go out later.”
Her eyes light up. “You’re taking me out?”
“Man’s gotta get a kiss somehow,” I grin at her.
She laughs, and it’s sweet, and carefree, and fuck I need her.
“Get over here and give me a hug,” I order, voice raspy at the thought of burying my nose in her neck and breathing her in.
“Ew,” she scrunches up her nose. “Have you seen yourself?”
I glance down at my body, covered in dirt and sweat, and then look back up. “Right now I’m every woman’s fantasy, darlin’.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “No sir, you aren’t. But, considering you don’t ask for a hug often…”
She climbs over the fence, and I have a hard time not looking at the way her short shorts hug her ass. She lands on her two feet, and then spins and strides towards me. When she reaches me, she leans up on her tiptoes, and presses her lips to my cheek. Then she steps backwards, “A compromise.”
“Baby,” I murmur, voice husky. “That ain’t no compromise. That’s how a mother kisses her son.”
She grins, and leans forward and then comes up on her toes again, pressing her lips to mine. It’s only a second, but fuck me if it isn’t the best second of my damned life. Then she pulls back, looking up at me through hooded lashes. “I have to go…”
“You’re fuckin’ killing me, woman. I’ll see you tonight, be ready at seven.”
She grins. “I’ll be ready at six thirty.”
I grin back.
Yeah.
Fuckin’ love her.
~11~
NOW – ELLIE
“How are things going?” Tatiana asks as we roll out the dough for the bread we’re baking, all ready for tomorrows run.
The bakery is closed, a few nights a week I work back with Tatiana and help her get everything ready, as well as learn a few new things without the daily rush pulling us down. She’s taught me a lot, and I’m loving being able to work out back with her. Erin knows I’m in here at night, and so do the members of the club, apparently they drive by every now and then. But we’re locked up, and Tatiana is always with me, so it’s relatively safe.
I think.
“It’s okay, I guess,” I tell her.
“Erin told me about Slater, I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t,” I tell her, smiling. “And yeah, it’s a rather complicated situation.”
“You’ve been through a lot honey, don’t put more pressure on yourself and end up sinking. You do only what you can do, and if other people don’t like it, well, you can tell them right where to shove it. You’ve had a hard go at it, you deserve to do things at your own pace, without pressure.”
Tati’s a good one.
Without a doubt.
I laugh. “Thanks, and I am pretty straight forward with Slater, and everyone else, but I guess what bothers me…is that I want to remember. I want to know who I was before. I want to find out what made me who I am, and who influenced my life. Seeing the way Slater looks at me, it makes it hard because I can see I meant something to him, and it sucks that I don’t remember any of it.”<
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Tati nods. “Yeah, I can imagine that would suck, but you’re doing your best. You can’t force something, especially memories, you can only do what you can do.”
I nod, and keep rolling out the dough. Tatiana’s phone rings, and she wipes her hands on her apron and answers it. She disappears into the office, and I keep working. When she returns about ten minutes later, she looks distressed and is pulling her apron off.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her.
“My son is unwell, my mom has taken him to the hospital.”
“Tatiana has an adorable little boy, and lives on her own. She’s a single mother, but she rocks it in a way that takes your breath away. She’s strong, and determined, and self-made.”
“Oh gosh,” I say. “Tati, go…”
“If I don’t finish all this bread, it’ll all go to waste and-”
“I can do it…” I tell her. “Honestly.”
“I’m not supposed to leave you here, Ellie.”
“I’ll lock everything and call Erin right to come and get me once I’m done. I promise, I’ll be fine. I’ll get it all done. I won’t leave this place until she gets here. It’s secure.”
Tatiana hesitates.
“It’s fine, please, go to your son.”
She exhales. “Okay, but promise me you won’t open that door unless you absolutely know it’s Erin. And you’ll tell her you’re here alone…right now. So if she wants to come in and sit with you while you finish this, she can?”
I nod. “I’ll ring her right away.”
She nods, and then gathers up her things. “I owe you, Ellie.”
“I hope your son is okay.”
She flashes me a smile, and disappears. Once she’s gone, I make sure everything is locked up, and then pull out my phone and dial Erin. She doesn’t answer, but that doesn’t surprise me. She’s probably at the gym, she goes on her nights off. I leave her a message to call me back, and get back to work finishing the bread.
I’m busy putting the last loaf into the oven when I hear banging on the door outside, at first it kind of sounds like an animal scurrying around, so I ignore it. I keep working, but the noise gets louder and louder, and I realize after listening for a second, that someone is trying to get in. Is it Erin and she’s forgotten her key?
No, she would have called me.
But maybe her phone is flat.
I walk over to the door, and call out, “Erin?”
The rattling stops.
And then a voice comes through, “Well, hello, Raven.”
That voice.
I know that voice.
It haunts my wildest nightmares.
I skitter backwards, heart racing, hands sweating, head spinning. He’s here. He found me. How the hell did he find me so quickly?
I turn, fingers trembling as I try to grasp my phone. I finally get hold of it and frantically dial Erin, but she doesn’t answer. Oh God. Oh God.
“I’ll get in, Raven, and you and I will go back to the way things were. Did you miss me? I missed you. Oh so much.”
I can’t breathe.
I need to get help, and I need to get it now.
“I can’t believe she left you here, I didn’t think it would be so easy…”
Breathe, Ellie.
Slater.
I have to call Slater.
Frantically, I dial his number. He answers on the second ring, and only then do the terrified tears fall down my cheeks.
“Ellie?”
“Slater, he’s here. He’s here.”
“What? Ellie, calm down. Where are you?”
“A-a-a-at the bakery. He’s here. He’s going to get in and-”
“Is Erin with you?”
“N-n-n-n-no. I’m alone. He’s at the door. He’s going to get in.”
“I’m coming. Right now. Don’t move. Find a weapon, something, anything to use if you need to. I’ll be ten minutes.”
“What if he gets in in that time and-”
“Ellie, listen to me. He’s not getting you. Do you understand. I won’t allow it. Now, find a weapon and hide if you have to. The security will hold out. We’re coming.”
He hangs up the phone, and with tears rolling down my cheeks, my hands go to the huge butchers knife on the bench. I clutch it close to me, and stare at the door, so afraid I can barely breathe. How will I ever escape now he knows where I am? I’ll never be free. He’s going to torment me for the rest of my damned life.
“You’re not scared, are you Raven?” he laughs from outside the door. “Is that sobbing I hear?”
I press a hand over my mouth. I’m crying. Loudly. And he’s feeding off it.
“I promise you something, Ellie. When I get through this lock, I’m going to take you, and I swear you will not escape me again. You’re mine. I own you. I paid the money for you. I don’t appreciate you running. I told you, if you ever ran, I’d come after you.”
“Get away!” I scream, so frantically that my fingers jerk and curl around the knife, and the blade slices into them. Blood pours from the wounds I just created, but I don’t let the knife go. I hang onto it like it’s life.
“Don’t be afraid, Raven. I promise I won’t do anything to you, that I haven’t done before…”
He laughs at his sick joke, and I clench my eyes shut.
Please Slater. Please hurry.
“You know, it wasn’t the smartest idea coming back to the place I found you. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t look here first?”
I’m panting.
I feel like I’m going to explode from sheer terror.
“They’re going to take you down,” I yell out, angrily. “And you’ll never be able to hurt another person again.”
“Who?” he laughs. “Your little biker friends? I’ve dealt with far worse.”
Breathe.
Keep calm.
Slater is coming.
“They’re nothing more than a blip in my radar. In fact, they’ve been no challenge at all. After all, they’re not even here guarding you. I’ve watched them come past once every half an hour. I just had to time it right when I saw the other girl leave. I never thought she’d leave you alone, I was planning on taking her down if I had to, and she just threw you into my lap, so to speak.”
God.
He’s been watching me.
I feel sick.
His rattling around with the lock stops, and I hear him mutter something, and then he growls, “Well done Raven, calling for back up. You think that’ll stop me? I’m coming for you. And I will get my hands on you. I promise.”
Then, everything goes silent.
I keep hanging onto the knife, terrified to let it go.
Terrified to move.
“Ellie!”
Slater’s voice echoes through the door, and he starts pounding, hard, but I can’t move.
“Ellie, open the door!”
What if it’s a set up? For all I know, he could be standing there with a gun to his head, being told to yell at me to open the door, and the second I do, it’s all over for me.
How do I know it’s not a trap?
“I c-c-c-can’t,” I say, my voice barely there.
“Ellie?”
“I can’t!” I cry out, a little louder.
“Open the door, need to see if you’re okay.”
“H-h-h-how do I know he’s not with you?”
“Ellie,” Slater’s voice gets lower. “He’s not with me.”
I shuffle a little close to the door, and try to listen, maybe I’ll hear him whispering.
“But h-h-h-how do I know?” I say, pressing my ear to the door, knife still clutched in my fingers. “This could be a trap.”
“Listen to me,” Slater’s voice gets low, but gentle. “Know you don’t remember much about me, Ellie, but know this, I’d die before I’d ever let anything happen to you. Understand me? If he tried to use my life to make me do something so he could get to you, then I’d let him have my life. Do you understand that?”<
br />
I clench my eyes shut, and take a staggering breath.
I have to trust someone, sometime.
I drop the knife, and my fingers burn from the slashes I’ve just created in them.
I don’t care.
I ignore the blood running down my palm, and get to my feet, unlocking the door.
Then I take a shaky breath and step back, watching Slater, Malakai and Maverick enter the room.
They’re alone.
I exhale and drop to my knees, hands hitting the ground and making me cry out in pain as I tear the wounds even more.
“Fuck,” Slater says, dropping to his knees and taking hold of my hands. “You’re cut up, pretty bad.”
“I…I got the knife. Like you said.”
“Good girl,” he murmurs, looking up at Malakai. “Check out the rest of the bakery, and then bring the truck as close as you can to the entrance. Not riskin’ that fucker getting anywhere near her.”
Malakai nods. “Already on it, brother.”
Him and Maverick rush off, and Slater turns back to me. He lets my hands go only for a second, to pull off his shirt, and then he uses that shirt to wrap around my hands, binding them sort of together. Then, he looks me in the eye, “Do you trust that I won’t hurt you, darlin’?”
I hold his eyes, and I nod.
Because I do trust that.
He leans down and scoops me into his arms, lifting me up into them. I clench my eyes shut, because it doesn’t feel normal to me, even though I trust him. But after a few minutes of my face being buried against his chest, and smelling the comforting scent of him, I relax. I keep my eyes closed as he carries me out, and it seems like the world around me just stops, and becomes so much safer. Like nothing can penetrate the protective shield it feels like he puts around me.
“You’re comin’ back to my house. I’ll call Erin.”
I say nothing, I just let him carry me to the truck which Malakai has managed to get really close to the back door. He opens a door and Slater slides me onto the back seat. Then he gets in next to me. He buckles my seatbelt on, and then orders Malakai, “Take me back to my place, we’ll go from there.”
“Will get the other guys over, too,” Malakai says. “Need a plan, a stronger one. He got too close.”
“Yeah,” Slater murmurs. “He fuckin’ did. It won’t be happening again.”