by Meader, Kate
He nodded. “Start toasting the bread, Lo. Six slices.”
As Lauren hopped to it, he turned and winked at Sadie.
Nicely done, Bond. Nicely done.
26
As luck would have it, Saturday’s lunch with Jenny and the girls was in Riverbrook, a stone’s throw from the Rebels’ practice facility. Jenny had chuckled and said, “Oh, you can make it after all?” Smartass. Gunnar dropped Sadie and Jenny off at a cute brunch place called Gallery before heading to the Rebels’ practice facility with Lauren. This way, Sadie wouldn’t be alone in the house while a crazed tagger was terrorizing the neighborhood. She knew she was being manipulated by both Jenny and Gunnar, but sometimes it was nice to have someone else call the shots.
Elle and Jordan were already seated. Allegra had arranged that all the freebies she gave out should be shipped to Sadie for distribution, so Sadie played fairy godmother while they waited for their mimosas.
“Ooh, is this the punani cream you were talking about?” Elle twisted off the lid and sniffed it. “Nice and smelly!”
“For external use only. Unlike this doohickey to help with pelvic muscle strength.”
Jenny’s eyes went wide as she held up the silicone pod. “So you put it inside and it—oh my God. It’s connected to Bluetooth!”
Sadie laughed. “Looking to improve your pelvic thrust? We have the technology.”
After a few more giggles about vagina-related products, Elle turned to Jordan. “So, everything we say here is off the record, Cooke. No sneaking it into your column or your podcast.”
Jordan smiled and crossed her heart with her fingers. “I’m marrying a pro hockey star in less than three weeks. Every conversation is in the vault.” She eyed Elle. “Which assumes you have something worth keeping the lips zipped for.”
Both Jenny and Elle turned to Sadie, and Jenny gestured with a wave. “Meet the woman who is saving Gunnar Bond one orgasm at a time.”
“What?” Sadie sputtered. “That’s not what’s happening.”
“Isn’t it?”
She shook her head vehemently. “No one is being saved. It’s just mindless, what’s-your-name-again, don’t-bother-calling-in-the-morning sex.”
Jordan took a sip from the mimosa that had just arrived. “The best kind.”
“No,” Elle said, glaring at her friend.
“No?”
Elle waved at Sadie. “Gunnar has been grieving for three years. He went off grid and lived in a cabin in the middle of nowhere to try to outrun his demons. Now he’s met someone who makes him want to—”
“Want to what?” Sadie asked, looking at all of them.
“Grab life by the horns again.” Jenny grabbed a breadstick by the horns and bit down on it.
Sadie saw what was happening here and she needed to nip it in the bud.
“You’ve got the wrong end of the breadstick. Gunnar and I have a very clear arrangement. It’s clothes off, straight to business, zero cuddling.” Last night, she’d insisted he leave her bed after the orgasms because she was trying to set a good example for Lauren. And maybe she didn’t want to risk waking up wrapped in those studly arms—and liking it too much. She was no dummy. “The only talking is instructional and directional. I’m not saving him.”
Even if he was playing white knight and saving her.
She gulped down her mimosa, annoyed with Gunnar, who was being awesome with Lauren. He even had a nickname for her. Lo. But this insistence on rescuing Sadie while forbidding her to reciprocate was unfair, especially as she’d been there for him when they were text buddies. Sex was great and all but … one step forward, two steps back was hard.
“Look,” Jenny said. “You might not want to label it that way and perhaps neither of you want to overthink it, but this is a big deal.”
“He doesn’t like casual,” Elle said, leaning in with a grave expression. “Sex means something to him. He told me.”
Sadie’s heart gave a treacherous leap. Quiet, you.
Jordan tapped a finger to her chin. “I know a little of what Gunnar’s been through. My husband was a Green Beret, who died in Afghanistan.”
Sadie placed a hand to her chest. “I had no idea. When?”
“Over five years ago. And it took me while to feel I could go down that road again. Not just the sexual aspect, but the emotional. Once I reconnected with Levi, I couldn’t imagine anyone else having the capacity to draw me out like that.” She smiled. “If sex is meaningful to Gunnar, he’s already got skin in the game. Actions speak louder with these guys. Believe me, I know.”
“He and I have discussed this at length.”
“Thought you didn’t talk. At all.” Jordan zeroed in, her reporter senses in overdrive.
“Before it started, he told me exactly what he needed and what I should expect. No emotions would be engaged. And I’m glad of it. I’m leaving in a couple of weeks.” Though she had to admit, Chicago was growing on her. Or regrowing on her. She felt more welcome here than she’d ever felt in LA. But she had to be realistic about her finances and prospects.
“Even if I wanted more, even if Gunnar wanted to give more, a lot of ifs, then it still wouldn’t happen because my life is elsewhere.” She knocked back half a Mimosa.
“Now, who wants this pubic hair conditioner?”
* * *
Gunnar raced down the practice rink, the puck Velcroed to his stick, and slapped the board with it so it boomeranged around the net. Two seconds later, he watched with satisfaction as Lauren slapped it forward and bulged the twine.
“Yes!” He skated over to her and offered a gloved high-five. “Nice work, Lo.”
“Thanks.” Her smile hit him hard.
“Let’s do some work on your skating motion. As you get older, it’ll change because your weight distribution will be different, but we should set good habits now. Watch me.”
He skated a few figure eights, demonstrating the power position of knees bent, butt out, chest and head up. Posture was important and junior players tended to bend at the hip instead of the knees, like little hunchbacks.
“Okay, now you.”
He could tell she’d paid attention but she was inconsistent. Down the rink, she’d keep it low but back up she’d rest and let her legs do all the work.
“Not bad. But to get the proper depth, you’ll need to keep your knees bent and push through on each stroke to get maximum extension.”
They worked on that for about ten more minutes before moving on to puck drills. He figured thirty minutes should be the maximum—she wasn’t a pro skater yet.
They sat on the bench, catching their breath. He handed a bottle of water to her.
“I know a few people in LA who could work with you,” he said.
She scowled. “My dad won’t let her take me.”
Her dad had no choice. “You’ve talked to him?”
A flush crept over her skin. “She won’t let me see him.” She tapped her stick, hitting the wall of the Plexi. “Why did you stay over last night?”
“That rock that came through your window last week? I don’t like it.” She didn’t know about the graffiti and he didn’t want to scare her.
She turned to him. “She’s not good enough for you.”
“That’s not a nice thing to say.”
She shrugged. “If you like her so much, why don’t you ask her to stay in Chicago? That way she won’t even think about moving.”
“Not as simple as that.”
“Hey guys!” Sadie’s voice cut in from behind and they both turned. “Wow, it’s chilly in here.”
“Because of the ice,” Lauren deadpanned.
“Yeah, I got that.” She smiled. “Elle dropped me off. She was headed into the city anyway so she took Jenny. I hope it’s okay. I can sit here and watch. You won’t even notice me.”
Gunnar smiled back, feeling foolish for being so happy to see her. He wanted to see her safe, but damn if she didn’t look pretty as a picture in a blue dress with a dipping
neckline. Her designs were amazing, and while he knew nothing about fashion, he could tell she was talented.
“We were finishing up. Lauren made great strides with her skating motion today.”
“Oh, that’s fantastic.” She held out her hands as if to say, isn’t it? Lauren refused to look at her. “I would be a complete mess out there.”
“Have you ever skated?”
“Ah, negative.”
“Would you like to?”
“Also, negative.”
He stood and picked his way toward her. “I’m going to grab you a pair of skates and take you for a spin.”
“Gunnar, that’s such a terrible idea. I will fall down. I guarantee it.”
“So what if you do? A few stumbles shouldn’t scare a woman like you.”
Two spots of color appeared high on her cheekbones. “I’ll give it a shot,” she whispered.
“Atta girl. What’s your shoe size?”
“Seven.”
Two minutes later he was back with a couple of pairs of skates. The sisters sat on the bench, backs stiff. Sadie was obviously trying to initiate conversation and Lauren wasn’t having it.
He knelt down in front of Sadie and unhooked the strap of her sandal. He couldn’t help himself. He curved a hand around her heel, up her calf and enjoyed the silky smooth skin there. She shivered.
“Cold in here,” she whispered.
“Yeah, ice rink, dummy,” Lauren said.
Gunnar gave Lauren a hard look. “Hey, don’t disrespect your sister.”
Sadie squeezed his shoulder and flashed her eyes at him. “It’s okay. I don’t know anything about ice rinks, so yeah, I’m a dummy.”
“Put this jersey on.” He’d grabbed one of his extras from the locker room. While she did that, Gunnar rolled two pairs of socks on, then fitted the first choice of skate. “Toe down. How does it feel?”
“Sort of snug.”
“That’s how it should feel.” He put the other one on, then grasped both her hands. “On your feet, Sadie.”
He pulled her upright and she froze in place. “Not sure I should do anything more than this.”
“Oh, we’re doing much more than this.” As the words left his mouth, they felt applicable to more than a leisurely skate around a practice rink.
“Come on, Lo, let’s show your sister how to skate.”
“Don’t think so.”
“Lauren.”
She looked up, conscious of his tone. “Okay, okay.”
A few minutes later, Sadie was treading tentatively over the ice near the bench, moving back and forth along the wall. She looked so cute and sexy in his jersey, just like … but not like … He shook the memory away.
“Now hold the wall with one hand and me with your other.”
“I don’t know … oh, look I’m doing it!”
They traveled a few feet, then pivoted, and headed back again. Lauren skated back and forth, showing off, really, but it was more encouraging than sitting on the bench. After a few minutes, he took a chance.
Placing his hands on Sadie’s hips, he moved in close. “Do you trust me?”
“Should I?” She tilted her head, and smiled that knockout ray of sunshine that had reeled him in from the beginning.
“You can.”
“Okay. Gimme a reason, Bond.” More words, multiple meanings.
Still with his hands on her hips, he coasted backwards slowly, bringing her with him. “We’re just dancing, Sadie. That’s all it is.”
She glided with him, three feet, six, nine, until they were in the center of the rink. “That’s it, no need to even move your feet, let me guide you.”
“I can’t believe you’re skating backwards,” she gushed, her eyes bright as the ice.
“Do it all the time. Second nature.” He turned to Lauren. “What do you think? Not bad for a first timer, right?”
Lauren sniffed. “She’s okay.”
“Ooh, you hear that?” Sadie grinned. “I’m okay.” And then her feet went from under her, she grabbed his jersey—the one on his body—and they both crashed to the ice.
She made an oof sound. “Sheesh, thought you had a handle on it, Bond.”
“You distracted me with that smile of yours.” He wouldn’t have minded sitting there with her but the ice was chilling his ass and probably worse for her. He picked himself up and pulled her to her feet. “You want to call it?”
“Are you kidding? We’re just getting started!”
27
Gunnar watched Sadie as she slept. She still wrinkled her nose, and she still made those cute, sighing sounds, as if he was kissing her in her dreams. Last night he’d sneaked in, given her three orgasms, and took advantage of her bone-tiredness by staying the night in her bed.
He’d moved in to keep her safe. When people lost things, they got angry. He understood that feeling, the need to lash out. Few people truly acted on it in a way that hurt others but he saw no harm in hanging around. If someone saw him on the property, all the better. Let it be known that Sadie and Lauren had a support system.
She stirred and he reached for her, holding her close, enjoying the soft round curves of her body and how they perfectly aligned with the dips and dents of his. Mornings had always been his favorite time with Kelly, that brief half hour of bliss while he slipped inside her and made her scream into the pillow before the kids crashed into the room.
Another memory assaulted him.
Janie afraid of a thunderstorm, sneaking into bed with them. Janie tucked under his arm, her fair hair a golden crown of curls. Janie telling him he was the best daddy in the world.
Not so great in the end. Not so great because he couldn’t protect them.
He’d gone a while, maybe even a whole night without thinking of them. His stiff body mirrored his guilt.
“You okay?” Sadie whispered.
“Fine,” he murmured.
She made a noise that sounded like “oh really?”
“I am,” he insisted.
After a few moments of quiet, she murmured sleepily, “You can tell me about her. If you like.”
How did she read his mind like that? “Why?”
“Because your family was a big part of your life and—”
“They’re still a big part of my life. They are my life.”
“Of course.” She said it so simply that he regretted snapping. Again, her patience made him edgy. He’d offered nothing to her. Why was she so accepting of it?
It was the same with Lauren, who was pretty rude to her. Sadie just took it.
She waited a beat before speaking again. “Do you miss what we had?”
“What we had?”
She twisted to face him. “That version of us on the texts. It seemed more … honest.”
He held her gaze. “Desire isn’t honest? Kissing you all over, fucking you until you scream, making you come over and over, that isn’t honest?”
“It can be, I suppose.”
This is what he’d been afraid would happen—a deep dive into emotions. Yet only a moment ago he was lamenting how she’d settled for so little.
“The texting was easier when we were strangers,” he said. “That kind of honesty was easier because we had no preconceptions, no expectations of the other person.”
“We still don’t.”
His smile was wry. “Multiple orgasms not enough?”
“Oh, they’re lovely.” Her smile was dreamy. “But that version of us, the pre-meet-cute version, or the other meet-cute version, felt different. Like progress.”
I still feel it, Angel. That’s what he wanted to tell her. He felt it in every half smile, every deep kiss, every all-consuming thrust. Just because he wasn’t pouring his heart out didn’t change the closeness.
She tilted her head. “Why did you answer back?”
“What?”
“Once you figured out someone else was listening in to your texts to Kelly, you could have stopped. Blocked the number. You didn’t.”
She took a moment. “I was in a weird place. I’d just heard about my father’s conviction and I wanted to connect with someone, I suppose. And I thought I could be useful. Be there for you.”
Be there. She wasn’t asking about the texting versions to make him feel better, or not only that. She needed comfort for herself—and all this time he’d been making it about him.
“Back then you didn’t talk about yourself much,” he said, testing the waters.
“Sure I did.”
No. He’d gone through the texts. Read the entire exchange so he could convince himself it had meant nothing. That he wasn’t emotionally cheating on his wife. Angel had always been concerned with his feelings, his needs.
“Just because I’m not dying to unload doesn’t mean you can’t tell me what’s on your mind. With your dad, your job, Lauren. Unless all your problems vanish when I touch you.” He brushed the back of his hand against one rosy nipple and yielded a husky moan.
“You’re good at the sex, Bond. There, I’ve said it!”
He laughed, and they spent a few moments kissing and stroking, not with any particular destination in mind.
“I don’t need to tell you about Lauren,” she said after a few moments. That was Sadie. He could plant the seed, but she needed time to let it sprout. “You see how she is with me. I’m just trying to keep my head above water until I can get her settled.”
“You shouldn’t let your guilt about not being around when she was growing up give Lauren a pass on the attitude.”
“That’s not— I’ve only been here a few weeks. I have to cut her some slack, be the cool sister, because I’m not actually her parent, you know. That pain is still too fresh for her.” She leaned up on her elbow. A pillow crease he wanted to smooth away had appeared on her cheek. “I’m not fishing for a shoulder to cry on, Gunnar. I just liked listening to you before, being there for you. I’m offering to be that for you again.”
“If I wanted to talk to anyone about it, it would be you.” He hoped it was enough for her to know that. What she gave him was a balm to his soul, but he refused to start relying on the woman who would soon leave Chicago in her dust.