The Water Goats, and Other Troubles

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The Water Goats, and Other Troubles Page 6

by Ellis Parker Butler

Henry and I have thought of that. Youmust play your part until you see that henry and I have escaped fromthe elevator and have left the building, and that is all. I have had theforethought to prepare an alibi for you. As soon as you see that Henryand I are safe outside the building, you must become very indignant, andinsist that you are a respectable married woman, and in proof youmust hand my father the contents of this package. He will be convincedimmediately and let you go, and then Lemuel can run you up to youroffice and you can take off my dress and hat and catch the six-thirtytrain without trouble." She then handed me a small parcel, which Islipped into my coat pocket.

  When this had been agreed upon she and Henry left the office and I tookthe hat and dress from the suit-case and put them on, while Lemuel puton Henry's suit and whitened his face. This took but a few minutes, andwe went into the hall and found Henry and Madge already waiting for us.Henry was blackened into a good likeness of Lemuel, and Madge was quitea mussy scrub-woman. They immediately entered the elevator and began todescend slowly, while Lemuel and I crept down the stairs.

  Lemuel and I kept as nearly as possible opposite the elevator, so thatwe might arrive at the foot of the stairs but a moment before Madge andHenry, and we could hear the two fathers shuffling on the street floor,when suddenly, as we reached the third floor, we heard a whisper fromHenry in the elevator. The elevator had stuck fast between the third andfourth floors. As with one mind, Lemuel and I seated ourselves on a stepand waited until Henry should get the elevator running again and couldproceed to the street floor.

  For a while we could hear no noise but the grating of metal on metal asHenry worked with the starting lever of the elevator, and then we heardthe two voices of the fathers.

  "It is a ruse," said one father. "They are pretending the elevator isstuck, and when we grow impatient and start up the stairs they will comedown with a rush and escape us."

  "But we are not so silly as that," said the other father. "We will stayright here and wait until they come down."

  At that Lemuel and I settled ourselves more comfortably, for there wasnothing else to do. I cursed inwardly as I felt the minutes slip by andknew that half-past six had come and gone, but I was sure you would notlike to have me desert those two poor lovers who were fighting to wardoff the statistics, so I sat still and silent. So did Lemuel.

  I do not know how long I sat there, for it was already dark in thenarrow stairway, but it must have been a long time. I drowsed off, andI was finally awakened by Lemuel tugging at my sleeve, and I knew thatHenry had managed to start the elevator again. Lemuel and I hastened oursteps, and just as the elevator was coming into sight below the secondfloor we were seen by the two fathers. For an instant they hesitated,and then they seized us. At the same time the elevator door opened andHenry and Madge came out, and the two fathers hardly glanced at them asthey went out of the door into the street.

  As soon as I saw that they were safe I feigned great indignation, and sodid Lemuel.

  "Unhand me, sir!" I cried. "Who do you think I am? I am a respectablemarried lady, leaving the building with her husband. Unhand me!"

  Instead of doing so, however, the father that had me by the arm drew menearer to the hall light. As he did so he stared closely at my face.

  "Morgan," he said to the other father, "this is not my daughter. Mydaughter did not have a moustache."

  "Indeed, I am not your daughter," I said; "I am a respectable marriedlady, and here is the proof."

  With that I reached for the package Madge had given me, but it was in mycoat-pocket, underneath the dress I had on, and it was only with greatdifficulty and by raising one side of the skirt that I was able to getit. I unwrapped it and showed it to the father that had me by the arm.It was the patent nursing-bottle.

  When Mr. Billings had finished his relation his wife sat for a moment insilence. Then she said:

  "And he let you go?"

  "Yes, of course," said Mr. Billings; "he could not hold me after suchproof as that, and Lemuel ran me up to my office, where I changed myhat and took off the dress. I knew it was late, and I did not knowwhat train I could catch, but I made haste, and, on the way down in theelevator, I felt in my pocket to see if I had my commutation ticket,when my hand struck the patent nursing-bottle. My first impulse was todrop it in the car, but on second thought I decided to keep it, forI knew that when you saw it and heard the story you would understandperfectly why I was detained last night."

  "Yes?" said Mrs. Billings questioningly. "But, my dear, all that doesnot account for these."

  As she said that she drew from her workbasket the three auburn-redcurls.

  "Oh, those!" said Mr. Billings, after a momentary hesitation. "I wasabout to tell you about those."

  "Do so!" said Mrs. Billings coldly. "I am listening."

  II. THE THREE AUBURN-RED CURLS

  When I went down in the elevator (said Mr. Billings) with thenursing-bottle in my pocket, I had no thought but to get to the trainas soon as possible, for I saw by the clock in my office that I had justtime to catch the eleven-nine if I should not be delayed. Therefore, assoon as I was outside the building I started to run, but when I reachedthe corner and was just about to step on a passing street-car a hand waslaid on my arm, and I turned to see who was seeking to detain me. It wasa woman in the most pitiable rags, and on her arm she carried a baby sothin and pale that I could scarcely believe it lived.

  One glance at the child showed me that it was on the verge of deathby starvation, and this was confirmed by the moans of the mother, whobegged me for humanity's sake to give her money with which to providefood for the child, even though I let her, herself, starve. You know,my dear, you never allow me to give money to street beggars, andI remembered this, but at the same time I remembered the patentnursing-bottle I still carried in my pocket.

  Without hesitation I drew the patent nursing-bottle from my pocket andtold the mother to allow the infant to have a sufficient quantity ofmilk it contained to sustain the child's life until she could procureother alms or other aid. With a cry of joy the mother took thenursing-bottle and pressed it to the poor baby's lips, and it was withgreat pleasure I saw the rosy colour return to the child's cheeks. Thesadness of despair that had shadowed the mother's face also fled, andI could see that already she was looking on life with a more optimisticview.

  I verily believe the child could have absorbed the entire contents ofthe bottle, but I had impressed upon the mother that she was to give thechild only sufficient to sustain life, not to suffice it until it wasgrown to manhood or womanhood, and when the bottle was half-emptied themother returned it to me. How much time all this occupied I do not know,but the child took the milk with extreme slowness. I may say that ittook the milk drop by drop. A great deal of time must have elapsed.

  But when the mother had returned the patent nursing-bottle to me and sawhow impatient I was to be gone, she still retained her hold upon my arm.

  "Sir," she said, "you have undoubtedly saved the life of my child, andI only regret that I cannot repay you for all it means to me. But Icannot. Stay!" she cried, when I was about to pull my arm away. "Hasyour wife auburn-red hair?"

  "No," I said, "she has not, her hair is a most beautiful black."

  "No matter," said the poor woman, putting her hand to her head. "Someday she may wish to change the colour of her hair to auburn-red, whichis easily done with a little bleach and a little dye, and should she doso these may come handy;" and with that she slipped something soft andfluffy into my hand and fled into the night. When I looked, I saw in myhand the very curls you hold there. My first impulse was to drop them inthe street, but I remembered that the poor woman had not given them tome, but to you, and that it was my duty to bring them home to you, so Islipped them into my pocket.

  When Mr. Billings had ended this recital of what had happened to him hiswife said:

  "Huh!"

  At the same time she tossed the curls into the grate, where theyshrivelled up, burst into blue smoke, and shortly disappeared in ashe
s.

  "That is a very likely story," she said, "but it does not explain howthis came to be in your pocket."

  Saying this she drew from her basket the handkerchief and handed it toMr. Billings.

  "Hah!" he exclaimed. For a moment he turned the rolled-up handkerchiefover and over, and then he cautiously opened it. At the sight of thetwelve acorns he seemed somewhat surprised, and when the initials "T. M.C." on the corner of the handkerchief caught his eye he blushed.

  "You are blushing--you are disturbed," said Mrs. Billings severely.

  "I am," said Mr. Billings, suddenly recovering himself; "and no wonder."

  "And no wonder, indeed!" said Mrs Billings. "Perhaps, then, you can tellme how those acorns and that handkerchief came

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