‘No, this is too much fun. When are you going to see him again? Tell me you at least exchanged numbers,’ Kate asked, hopefully.
‘No, we bloody well didn’t. Don’t be daft.’
‘Why is that daft? Look at his face in this picture. He looks so happy to see you.’ Kate had zoomed right in so Daniel’s face filled the screen.
‘Can you both just stop being so silly?’
‘Party pooper.’ Kate pouted. ‘I quite like the idea of having a celebrity brother-in-law.’
I froze. ‘Don’t say that,’ I said. Kate looked confused and then realised what she’d said. ‘Oh, God, Evie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that. Tom will always be my brother-in-law.’ She came and sat next to me. ‘I adored Tom, you know that. I’m never going to forget him.’ I saw her give Rachel a ‘help me’ look. Rachel came and sat the other side of me and they both took a hand each.
‘Is this some kind of intervention?’ I asked.
‘No, not exactly. But Kate and I… well, we do think it might be time you got back out there.’
‘Out where?’
Rachel gestured in the vague direction of outside. ‘Out there, going on a date maybe. Being open to the idea that there might be someone else out there for you to share your life with.’
I looked at the two of them, so earnest in their hope that I could find someone to be with again. I shook my head.
‘I appreciate your concern, I really do. But the only things “out there” that I’m interested in right now are all the places I haven’t had a chance to visit yet. I want to see the Rockefeller Centre, the Empire State Building. That’s the plan for my immediate future, which is why I’m heading to bed now.’
‘There’s also Bloomingdale’s, Saks and Tiffany,’ said Rachel.
I laughed. ‘Fine. If I promise we can alternate between shops and sights, will you come with me? We’re only here for a few more days – we can’t go home without seeing some sights.’
Rachel picked up her glass and sipped her wine.
‘Everything all right?’ I asked.
‘Yes, fine. Well, sort of.’
‘How do you mean?’
She put down her glass and started fiddling with her wedding ring.
‘The thing is, Evie, I’m thinking about heading back home.’
‘When?’
‘Tomorrow, if I can sort a flight.’
‘Why?’
‘I’ve been messaging Martin. I told him about Olivia, about not finding her and how sad that made me. He’s been so lovely, really sympathetic, and I just want to go home and see him, so we can sit down and have a proper chat about everything.’
‘Can’t you do that next week, when we get back?’
Rachel shook her head. ‘It probably sounds stupid, but I feel like it has to happen now. I can’t stand the uncertainty, not knowing what’s going to happen to our family. If it’s going to end then I want to deal with it now, not in a week’s time. I’d be shit company if I stayed anyway, you know I would.’ She looked down at her hands in her lap; I saw big, fat tears splashing onto her phone.
‘Oh, Rach, don’t cry.’ Now it was my turn to hug her. ‘I wish you felt like you could stay for the rest of the trip, but I understand if you feel like you need to be at home.’
‘The only issue now is getting me there. I thought I might try and convince the airline to reschedule my return flight.’
‘No,’ said my sister, standing up and fetching her phone from the kitchen island. ‘Leave this to me.’ She tapped some numbers in and then waited for it to connect. ‘Marty? Yes, it’s Kate. Can you do me a favour and find me the next flight to London with any availability? Uh-huh, yes, sure, I’ll hold.’ Kate wandered back towards the kitchen.
‘I don’t know what to do, Evie. I don’t know how all this is going to end.’
‘There’s two of you in this marriage. You need to talk to him. You’ll figure it out.’
‘I’m not sure if that’s the best thing though. Like I said to you, we’re more like mates than lovers now. Perhaps it’s time to call it day.’
‘Maybe when you get home and see him, you’ll know what to do.’
‘I hope so, I really hope so.’
‘That’s great, Marty, thank you. You’ve got my card on file still, haven’t you? Brilliant, yes, just charge it to that. Thanks, Marty.’ She hung up and then came and knelt in front of Rachel. ‘All done. You’re booked on a flight tomorrow that leaves at seven fifteen in the evening.’
‘I can’t afford to pay for a whole new flight,’ said Rachel.
‘Who’s asking you to? My treat. As long as you promise that when you get home you’ll give Martin a swift kick in the bollocks from me.’
This made Rachel smile. ‘Deal. Thanks, Kate, I owe you one.’
Kate looked over to me as she replied, ‘No, honey, I think this makes us even. After everything you’ve done for my sister over the years, I finally get to pay you back.’ She pulled Rachel into her arms and then grabbed me too. The three of us sat there crying quietly into each other’s shoulders for a few minutes.
*
Rachel and I spent most of the next morning running from one department store to another. Rachel was desperate to get some ‘proper shopping’ done before she had to leave.
‘I need to get to Bloomingdale’s so I can buy something. I want one of their paper bags as a souvenir!’ said Rachel, as I huffed along 59th Street behind her.
‘We’re doing all this for a bloody paper bag! You’re a crazy person.’
After we’d got Rachel’s big brown bag, we hopped in a cab to take us back to Kate’s; I got the briefest glimpse of Rockefeller Centre between two tall buildings as we whizzed past. Once we were back at the apartment, I helped Rachel pack her things. It didn’t take long; she’d barely been there long enough to unpack properly.
‘Are you angry with me for leaving early?’ she asked me as she zipped up her suitcase.
‘No, I’m not angry. Disappointed is probably a better word. I was looking forward to spending some time with you, doing stuff. It would have been fun. But no, I’m not angry.’
‘This just feels like the right thing to do for me and Martin.’
‘I just hope he appreciates it. I look forward to hearing all about it next week when I’m back.’
‘You know, there’s no reason for you to come back next week, not really. The kids are off doing their own thing – you could do the same.’
‘No, don’t be daft. What am I going to do here?’ That was a ridiculous statement; New York was packed full of things I could do. ‘Anyway, Kate’s probably got plans already. No, I’ll be back next week.’
‘All right, but it seems like a wasted opportunity if you ask me.’
‘Shut up and grab your bag. Kate’s already downstairs getting us a taxi. They’re probably waiting for us.’
*
We made it to the airport with time to spare.
‘Go and make use of the first class lounge,’ said Kate. ‘Get a free head massage and a few glasses of fizz.’
‘Oh, you know I will,’ replied Rachel as we stood with her at the check-in desk. The young woman behind the desk tapped a few keys on her computer and then looked at the three of us.
‘And it’s only you that’s travelling today, ma’am?’
‘Yes,’ said Rachel, ‘just me.’
‘And did you pack your bag yourself?’
‘Yes, I packed my own bag.’ Rachel handed over her passport and the woman weighed her case and sent it through.
‘Here’s your boarding pass. You have a nice flight.’
Rachel took her documents and stuffed them into her handbag. She turned to face me and Kate; she looked as if she was about to cry.
‘Everything’s going to be fine, Rach. No more tears, okay?’ I said.
She sniffed and nodded. ‘I’m fine. Or I will be, at least.’
We said more goodbyes and then Kate and I stood and watched her g
o, waving until she disappeared through the doors.
‘Well, that was traumatic,’ said Kate, once Rachel had gone. ‘What do you think is going to happen when she gets home?’
‘They’ll sort things out, I hope. That might not mean they stay together but they’ll make a decision one way or another.’
I linked my arm through my sister’s and we made our way back out to the taxi rank. The snow had started to fall again, ever so gently, settling on the pavement and making everything look like a Christmas card. A Christmas card filled with taxis and sky porters and people saying tearful goodbyes to loved ones. I think I’d forgotten how close to Christmas it was. I’d been in New York for a couple of days already, but I felt as if I hadn’t really seen anything. What little time I had left would fly by and before I knew it I’d be back here at the airport saying a tearful goodbye to my little sister. The germ of an idea began to form in my mind.
‘You know what your apartment needs?’ I said to my sister as we waited for a cab.
‘No, what?’
‘It needs a real Christmas tree. Where can we get one?’
‘You’re crazy. Why do I need a Christmas tree?’
‘Because if I’m going to be staying with you for Christmas, I want a real tree.’
Fifteen
Kate and I were sitting in the back of a taxi, on the way home to her apartment. After I’d invited myself to stay for the whole of the upcoming holiday season, my sister had been a little quiet. It occurred to me that maybe she had plans of her own and didn’t want her big sister crashing the party.
‘If you’re already doing stuff for Christmas you only have to say. I won’t mind. I did kind of spring all this on you,’ I said. Kate was quiet for a minute; she was staring out of the taxi window. Oh, gawd, maybe she doesn’t want me around, I thought, and she’s too afraid to tell me. ‘Look, don’t worry about it. It was a stupid idea. Forget it, it’s fine,’ I rambled.
Kate turned back to face me and to my relief she was smiling, kind of. It was one of her classic ‘I’m happy but I still need to tell you something’ smiles.
‘No, no, I’d love you to stay. We haven’t spent Christmas together for the last three years. It’ll be fabulous.’
‘That’s a relief. I thought you were going to tell me you didn’t want me here.’
‘Never!’ she exclaimed. ‘You’re always welcome here, you know that.’
‘But?’ I said. There had definitely been a ‘but’ about to come.
‘What about the kids? Won’t they miss you?’
‘Doubtful. Grace is going skiing with a new friend from university and her family and Sam is spending Christmas with Natasha and her parents, so if I went home I’d only be by myself.’
‘Then Christmas at my place it is!’ she exclaimed, a bit too enthusiastically.
‘Are you sure you’re all right with that? If you had other plans you only have to say.’
Kate bit her lip nervously. ‘There was a chance that a friend of mine might come over, but it wasn’t definite. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get away,’ she said.
‘Ooh, what’s this? New boyfriend? You never said. Tell him not to worry, he can still come over. I can make myself scarce if you two want some time alone.’ I nudged her with my shoulder. ‘Who is he anyway? Tell me everything.’ This sounded promising. Kate never usually spent any significant holidays with a bloke; she said it gave them the wrong idea.
‘He’s just someone I work with. One of the senior partners. We’ve been kind of seeing each other for a while. It’s nothing serious.’ Kate picked at the skin around her thumbnail. I knew her well enough to know that there was something she wasn’t saying.
‘How long is a while?’ I asked.
‘Um, about two years,’ she said, chewing on the bit of skin she’d worked loose. I batted her hand away from her mouth, in a gesture reminiscent of our mother. God, was I turning into her? I thought. I bloody well hoped not.
‘Two years? You never mentioned him before. I thought the last bloke you were seeing was that graphic designer? What was his name? Chuck? Brad?’
‘Chad,’ she said, flatly.
‘That’s him. You dumped him when he told you he loved you. Although you told him it was because he wouldn’t shave off his hipster beard.’
‘It was getting bloody enormous. He looked like Grizzly Adams. He always had bits of food in it too.’ Kate shuddered at the memory. ‘Yes, I was seeing him for a while. Ryan, the guy from work, we broke up for a while. We’re a bit on and off. He’s got…’ she paused ‘… stuff he needs to sort out before we can be together properly.’
I turned my face towards the window to hide my growing annoyance; I knew what was coming. I kept my gaze firmly fixed on the view. We were just coming across the bridge and the lights of Manhattan were twinkling in the distance.
‘He’s married, isn’t he?’ I asked. Kate didn’t reply. I heard her take a deep breath, as if she was gearing up to say something, but the silence went on. Eventually I turned back to face her. She stared straight ahead, stubbornly refusing to look at me. ‘Kate?’ I said.
She dropped her head and mumbled, ‘Yes.’
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kate! What the hell do you think you’re doing? A married man? Has he got kids?’
She nodded.
‘After everything you saw Dad put Mum through, with all his shagging around and lying to her, to all of us actually. And now you’re with a man who’s just like him?’ I couldn’t believe my sister, my intelligent, high-powered, hedge fund manager of a sister, could be so bloody stupid as to get herself involved with a married man.
‘It’s not what you think, Evie. He’s not like Dad. He’s a good man. We tried to stay away from each other, but we just couldn’t.’
I didn’t respond to that. I didn’t trust myself to not start ranting at her if I opened my mouth to speak. We drove the rest of the way back to her apartment in silence. A thousand things were running through my head. No wonder this man couldn’t commit to seeing Kate over Christmas; he had a family to spend it with. He had kids who he wanted to watch open their presents on Christmas morning; he had a wife who needed him there to help prepare the Christmas lunch and do all the other little things that made a family Christmas. As we neared her apartment, I looked across at Kate. She was still staring down into her lap and she looked so sad I almost put my arm around her. But something stopped me. I don’t know why I was so angry with her; if anything, I should have felt sorry for her. She was in love with someone she couldn’t be with and it must have hurt like mad but, right then, I didn’t feel any sympathy for her. The cab pulled up outside Kate’s building and we got out. Kate made her way to the entrance but stopped when I didn’t follow.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I think I’m going to go for a walk,’ I said.
Kate looked up and down the street. ‘Now? It’s dark and it’s cold, Evie. You don’t want to be out on your own in this.’
‘I’ll be fine, just a stroll around the block, that’s all.’ I pulled my hat out of my pocket and put it on. ‘I’ll be fine,’ I repeated, shoving my hands into my pockets and trudging off towards the corner of her block. At the end of the street I turned left and kept walking, turning left each time I came to a corner. I figured this would eventually bring me back to Kate’s building, and it did. I walked fast, pumping my arms to propel me even faster. It only took me ten minutes to circle the block and I found myself back where I’d started in no time. I still wasn’t quite ready to go upstairs but what else could I do? It was dark, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think I’d be safe to wander the streets of New York’s Lower East Side by myself. I remembered I’d seen a bar of some sort on my walk to the diner on my first morning in New York. I crossed the road outside Kate’s building and walked up the street opposite. In the distance I could see pools of warm yellow light spilling out onto the pavement and I headed towards them, eager to get inside and order myself a large glass of
red wine. A flurry of snow, whipped up in front of me by a sudden gust of wind, temporarily blinded me and I slammed into the back of someone. I got a face full of their damp black wool coat and a nose full of the most amazing smell.
‘Oh, God, I’m so sorry,’ I said, stepping back and almost slipping over in the process. A strong hand grabbed my arm to stop me from falling.
‘Oops, mind how you go there,’ said the owner of the hand as he put me back on my feet and placed his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down – he was at least foot taller than me – and he laughed. It was a delicious sound, and one I remembered only too well.
‘Evelyn-Marie, are you following me?’ Daniel Roberts, heart-throb and movie star, was looking at me as if I were some sort of lunatic. I wiped the snow out of my eyes and managed to wipe my mascara into them, my eyes started to sting, and I was blinking madly.
‘Here, let me help.’ Daniel took a handkerchief out of his pocket and held my chin gently as he wiped my eyes. ‘There, is that better?’
I nodded, and he moved his hand away. ‘Here, keep it in case you need it.’ He handed me the handkerchief.
‘Thanks,’ I said, stuffing it into my pocket.
‘So, are you following me?’ he said, smiling.
‘Of course I’m bloody well not,’ I said. ‘I was just out walking and I fancied a glass of wine.’
‘On your own?’ he asked.
‘Yes, my sister’s apartment isn’t too far from here and I fancied a bit of a walk. I needed to get some air.’
‘And wine,’ he said.
I smiled. ‘And wine.’ He looked so handsome, standing there in the snow in his black fisherman’s coat and grey tweed cap. He was still wearing the grey scarf from the other day, I noticed too. His jaw was covered in a slight beard that was attractively peppered with grey, and his piercing blue eyes were glittering in the dark. I hadn’t really got a good look at him in the bookshop. I’d been too stunned to take it all in. But now, standing there on the pavement, I could see close up all the qualities that made him such a famous leading man. He’d always been talented, anyone could see that even when we were at college, and he’d always been kind and smart and funny. But his time in Hollywood had given him a chance to perfect his sex appeal. And he had bucketloads of the stuff. It seemed to leak out of every pore; with every gesture, every movement, he exuded sexiness and charm.
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