by L A Cotton
“Are you sure about this?”
“Eva,” she groaned before checking her reflection in the mirror as we stepped out behind the stoic bodyguard.
Clutching my hand in hers, Molly flashed me a reassuring smile. “You have nothin’ to worry about. Besides,” she lowered her voice, “I know for a fact there is a certain bassist in there who can’t wait to see you again.”
“Oh yeah, and how do you know that?” I gave my best friend a pointed look and she smirked.
“I have my sources.”
I didn’t respond to that.
I couldn’t.
The very idea Rafe was looking forward to seeing me again... it was too much to process.
Too much of everything.
But before I had chance to second guess her words, Molly pulled me toward the door which Jake had now pushed open. Heart crashing violently against my chest, I tucked my wild curls behind my ear, sucked in a shaky breath, and stepped inside the penthouse.
“There she is,” Hudson said with an amused lilt. If Molly noticed it, she didn’t react, practically throwing herself into his arms.
“Eva,” Rafe said, rising from one of the stools at a sparkling marble counter. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Hey.” I smiled and it wasn’t forced because I was happy to see him.
Crap, I was so in over my head.
“Do you guys always travel like this?” Molly asked once we were all settled on the two huge soft leather couches, her wide eyes taking in our lavish surroundings.
“What, in style?” Hudson smirked. “The production team are putting us up.”
“And how come you’re doin’ the show but Rafe isn’t?”
“Do you always ask so many questions?” His brows crinkled. “If I’d wanted to spend the night playing twenty questions, I would have invited my mom.”
Molly blushed, folding her hands into her lap nervously. I don’t think I’d ever seen my best friend embarrassed but then it hit me.
She liked him.
Molly didn’t just want her five minutes with the Black Hearts drummer... she wanted him.
Crap.
This wasn’t going to end well.
For either of us.
Because the second I’d stepped inside the suite and my eyes found his, I knew my heart wasn’t just reacting to Rafe Hunter, the bassist for a rock band.
It was him.
The guy beneath the rock star. The guy I’d seen glimpses of in Ploughton.
And when he’d taken my hand and led me to the couch, I knew I was in deep trouble.
“Hud, come on, man. Be nice,” Rafe said, sending him a narrowed look. Hudson shuffled closer to Molly, leaning in and whispering something in her ear. Her eyes flared, heavy with lust, as he worked his magic on her.
“So how are you feeling about tomorrow?” Rafe turned his attention on me, ignoring our friends who looked awfully close to making out.
“It wasn’t supposed to matter so much, but now I’m here...” my voice trailed off and I couldn’t help but look over at Molly and Hudson, immediately regretting it.
“Come on.” Rafe stood up, startling me. He held out his hand, his expression softening as he waited for me to decide. I slid my hand into his, enjoying the feel of his calloused skin against mine. “Another hotel, another view,” he said around a smile. “But this time, there’s a balcony.”
Leading me over to the sliding doors, we stepped out onto the wide balcony, the balmy city air washing over me. He made a beeline for the edge to get a better look, but I was frozen to the spot, suddenly feeling out of my depth.
“Eva?” he glanced back.
“It’s very high.”
“You’re not scared of heights, are you?” His words were teasing.
“Not usually.” But then, I didn’t make a habit of standing on twentieth-floor balconies.
“Come here.” He held out his hand again, and I went to him, slowly. Instantly calmed by his touch. His brows furrowed as he stared at where our fingers linked, and I wondered if he felt the electricity simmering between us.
“Rafe?” His name fell from my lips in a gentle caress.
“Come on.” Gently, he guided me to the balcony edge, the city lights twinkling below us. “Worth it, right?” he asked, and I nodded, words lodged in my throat as he caged me against the railing, curving his tall lean body around mine until I felt his chest pushed up against my back.
“It’s beautiful.” His lips were at my ear, his warm breath skating over me. And for a second, I let myself believe he wasn’t talking about the view at all.
“I feel weightless up here,” I admitted, comfortable silence settling over us. Nothing but the blare of horns and the rumble of traffic in the distance.
My hands curled around the polished railing, leaning forward a little. “Easy there, tiger,” Rafe let out a quiet laugh. Deep. Gravelly. His voice wrapped around the deepest parts of me. Sliding one of his hands around to my waist, he held me tight.
“Don’t worry,” I breathed, “I’m not about to jump.”
In an instant, Rafe had spun me around, his eyes pinning me to the spot. He didn’t say anything but his body seemed to radiate with anger.
“Rafe?” I asked, confused at what was happening.
“Why did you say that?” The muscle in his jaw clenched, his eyes hard and cold.
“It was a joke. I was jokin’.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just...” The fury in his expression melted away replaced with shame.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I should have known...” he trailed off again, as if he was stopping himself from telling me something.
Without thinking, I slid my hand to his face, gently pressing it against his cheek. “We all have our demons to bear,” I whispered, sensing that whatever was going on with Rafe was something big.
Something important.
“Yeah, and what demons does a girl like you possibly have to bear?”
Slave to eyes so dark and intense I could barely breathe, I choked out, “I lived.”
His eyes widened, his sharp inhale of breath a visceral reaction to my confession. But before he could ask me what I meant, Molly spilled out onto the balcony. “There you two are.” Her brows waggled suggestively. “We were just about to order room service. You two want anythin’ or are you—”
“I could eat,” Rafe said, inching away from me, leaving me cold. “Is there pizza?” he asked.
“I’m sure for you two rock gods there’s always pizza.” Molly winked, her eyes sliding to mine, brimming with questions.
I shook my head discreetly, aware of Rafe watching our interaction.
“Come on, I’m starving,” she said, lightening the heavy mood.
Rafe kept my hand in his as he pulled me toward the door. “Hudson sure works fast,” he mused.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I quirked my brow, looking up at him.
“What do you think they were doing to work up an appetite?”
“I... working out?” I deadpanned.
“Oh, I’m sure they were working out.” He roped his arm around my neck, drawing me into his side. It was such an intimate move. So easy and comfortable, as if we’d been doing it forever.
As if he heard my thoughts, Rafe gazed down at me. His eyes dropping to my lips.
“Yo, Rafe, you want olives or not?” Hudson’s voice was like a bucket of ice water.
Rafe grimaced, mumbling something under his breath about his bandmate’s shitty timing. My cheeks flaming, I ducked out of his hold and went to join Molly on the couch. I needed a second to catch my breath.
To ground myself.
Because every second I spent with Rafe, the more I felt myself fall.
And I was terrified he wouldn’t be there to catch me.
After stuffing our faces with pizza, Hudson dragged Molly away again. This time to show her something on his iPad. As if they were fooling anyone. The two of them couldn�
��t keep their hands off each other and despite being worried for my best friend, I couldn’t help the pang of jealousy I felt watching them together.
Molly had insisted on wearing short denim cut-off shorts, a cropped tank top and her favorite boots. Her hair hung down her back in soft effortless waves, and she had just enough make-up on to look stunning without it being overdone.
Ignoring her advice to wear something seductive, I’d stuck with my trusty old jeans and a plain striped tee. But I was beginning to think she had a point. Hudson had barely been able to keep his hands off her all evening. Whereas, aside from the hand holding and intimate position we’d stood in out on the balcony, Rafe had kept his hands firmly to himself.
I’d always felt like a plain Jane next to Molly. She was so comfortable in her own skin, so confident and sure of herself. And I’d always been okay with that. Some stars were supposed to shine brighter than others. But tonight, I wanted Rafe to see me.
I wanted him to want me.
Just for once, I wanted to be the girl who got the fairytale moment with the prince.
Which only compounded the guilt slowly gnawing at my soul. Here I was, granted a second chance, and I was preoccupied with whether a famous rock star, who could offer me nothing more than here and now, liked me or not.
But I couldn’t walk away. Just as I couldn’t explain the inexplicable pull I felt toward him.
“Is he always like that?” I asked.
“Hudson is... yeah, I’m not going to lie to you, Eva. He is.” Rafe scrubbed his jaw. “But for what it’s worth, I think he’s really into Molly.”
“Until the day after tomorrow when you’re whisked away to a new city and he finds a new girl.” It wasn’t a question and Rafe didn’t insult me with an answer. Instead, we stared at each other, the questions mounting on the tip of my tongue. He must have sensed it because he asked, “Go on, ask me.”
“Ask you what?” I played dumb.
“Eva, I know you want to ask me something, I can see it in your eyes.”
With a small sigh, I said, “I wanted to ask you if you’re the same, but then I realized I don’t want to know.” Because I was pretty sure hearing him tell me I was just another in a long line of girls would be too much to bear.
And something told me Rafe wouldn’t lie to me.
“This is... different. You’re different.” His eyes spoke the words he didn’t say, and I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Of course there had been other girls. I’d read the headlines, seen the photos.
“I’ve never met anyone like you before, Eva. I hardly know you,” he shifted closer, “and yet, I feel as if I’ve known you forever.”
Our eyes collided. His hard with intent, mine soft with anticipation. I could feel him everywhere, even though he hadn’t touched me yet.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since that day I found you crying in the hall.” Rafe’s hand glided to my neck, his thumb brushing over my skin sending shivers rippling up my spine.
“You noticed that, huh?”
“I notice a lot of things Eva,” he breathed.
Then he kissed me.
Softly at first, his mouth tracing the shape of mine. His tongue darted out, swiping across the seam of my lips before slipping between them. The subtle sting of his lip piercing as he kissed me made me gasp but Rafe only used my surprise to his advantage, threading his fingers into my hair, angling my face closer. Kissing me deeper. Harder. Kissing me until I was panting for breath and desperate for more.
“Rafe...” His name was a prayer on my lips, a cry for mercy, as my fingers curled into his black tee, anchoring us together. He pushed me back against the cushions, covering me with his body.
“The things I want to do with you,” he peppered kisses over my jaw, running his tongue down the slope of my neck. Sucking and nipping. My arms slid over his shoulders as I swallowed another moan. He felt good, too good, pressed up against me.
My lower body was half off the couch, his too, but it didn’t stop him from grinding into me, showing me just how much I affected him. A thrill shot through me despite the nervous shiver that spread through me.
I hitched my leg around his hip but before I could rub against him, his hand shot out, steadying my thigh. “Eva, stop,” he said breathlessly, dropping his forehead to mine.
“You don’t want me?” I choked out, hardly able to believe I’d said the words.
“Does it feel like I don’t want you?” His eyes were hooded, glittering with lust. “I want you. So fucking much. But not here, not like this.”
I wanted to argue, to tell him that I didn’t care if he took me right there on the couch with Molly and Hudson just beyond the bedroom door and Jake and Lennox standing guard outside.
But I did care.
“Thank you,” I said as he eased back, his brows pinched. “For stoppin’, I mean.”
He sat up, pulling me with him, and the two of us straightened our clothes, and I smoothed my unruly curls. “You’re something else, Eva Walker.” His smile had my stomach clenching so tight I felt a little giddy.
“Is that a good thing?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s good.” His smile turned wicked. “It’s a very good thing.”
My mouth curved. It was impossible to not give in to my baser feelings around Rafe. My body lit up around him, my emotions going haywire.
And my heart... my stupid reckless heart galloped like a band of wild horses. Rafe Hunter was breathing life back into me, and I was quickly becoming addicted. But our time was finite, and I couldn’t help but wonder what happened after the show ended.
When the high was over and we came crashing back down to Earth.
What then?
“Can I suggest something?” Rafe asked me as we sat on the floor of the penthouse, his guitar cradled in my lap.
“Of course.”
We’d been like this for over an hour, after Rafe asked to see the piece I had prepared for tomorrow’s first round. I’d hesitated at first but as he’d so smugly pointed out, it wasn’t every day you got an offer of help from one of America’s rising guitarists. And since Molly and Hudson were showing no signs of coming up for air, I’d hurried down to my room under Jake’s watchful eye, grabbed my notebook, and plucked up the courage to show Rafe my country rendition of Zombie by The Cranberries.
“It sounds great,” he went on, “but I think it’d sound even better if you tweaked the chords a little. Can I?” He motioned for his guitar and I handed it over, watching raptly as he slid his fingers up the neck. “Okay, so on the change from E Minor to C, if you leave off your first finger and then add it back on the next change, it’ll deaden the sixth string for when you go into G then D.” He played the chords, repeating them a couple of times to let me hear the difference. “See?”
I nodded and Rafe grinned.
“Then if you stick with your strumming pattern for the first verse and chorus but switch it to a down strum only for the second verse and chorus, I think it’ll build that second half better.”
“I like it. I like it a lot.” He handed the Zemaitis back to me and I tested it out, hardly surprised that his subtle suggestions gave the song something extra.
“The judges won’t know what’s hit them.” I lowered my eyes, his compliment washing over me. “Eva, come on,” his voice coaxed me to look at him. “You must know how good you are.”
“The competition is really strong,” I said weakly.
“You’ve got this. You had it before I offered my expertise, but now it’s sure to win them over.”
“Oh, it’s like that is it?” I smirked. “I guess if I do win, I can expect you on stage to take full credit?”
“And cause a security breach?” The corner of his mouth kicked up. “I think I’ll stick to watching you from the wings.” His gaze flickered to my lips.
Rafe hadn’t kissed me again, but I’d caught him looking a lot, and strangely it was enough.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I lifted the guitar off my lap and propped it against the couch carefully. As far as I was concerned, the guitar was an antique and I didn’t want to be responsible for damaging it.
“What you said earlier about having demons to bear, what did you mean exactly?”
“I...” The words lodged in my throat. I hadn’t meant to reveal so much to him earlier. Rafe was just easy to talk to and I found myself wanting to open up to him.
But I wasn’t ready to bare my soul; not yet.
“I had some stuff going on last year but it’s all good now.” I glazed over the truth, pasting on my best smile. “Play something for me? It only seems fair that I get to hear you since you already heard me.”
I was deflecting. We both knew it, but Rafe humored me anyway, picking up his guitar. “Any requests?”
“So, I umm, have a confession to make.” Heat blazed up my neck and into my cheeks. “I’m not exactly a huge fan.”
Rafe gasped, clutching his heart. “That’s impossible.”
“Don’t worry, I looked you up after Ploughton.” I let the words hang. “I like what I’ve heard so far.” We shared a mutual smile, and I added, “Play me something from the band. Your favorite song or one that means something to you.”
Songs could tell you so much about a person, and I wanted to know all the Black Hearts bassist’s deepest, darkest secrets.
Something passed over Rafe’s face, but it didn’t linger. “You know my brother usually sings lead?” I nodded. We hadn’t talked much about his brother, but I’d noticed Rafe got this dark look whenever he came up. “Well, there’s a reason for that so bear with me.”
He strummed the opening chords and I was entranced, watching as his fingers moved expertly over the strings. But it was nothing compared to the way his voice affected me as he rasped out the first verse.
* * *
The way you used to do your hair, the perfume that you wore
A song that plays or a stranger’s face in the crowd
It’s the little things that remind me of you
But then I remember you’re gone and the light fades