by L A Cotton
“Hey,” he squeezed my knee, “You okay?”
“Fine.” I nodded, averting my eyes when a girl and guy started making out against the wall, uncaring they had an audience. “I thought it would be awkward being here, but surprisingly, it’s not.”
At first glance the party had looked crazy, and to a certain extent it was, over in Levi’s end of the room at least. But we’d managed to carve ourselves a little pocket of calm in among the chaos.
“So, Eva,” Damon asked, “what are your plans now you’re a Jamesboro County Talent Showdown winner?”
“Oh, you know… complete senior year and graduate.” I kept my voice light despite the gnawing in the pit of my stomach.
“You’re a senior? No shit.” He threw Rafe a questioning look.
“What? She’s barely two years younger than us.”
“Yeah, but—”
The sound of glass smashing echoed through the room and we all whipped our heads around to where Levi was.
“Fuck,” Rafe muttered, shifting beside me. He slipped his arm from around my shoulder and got up. “I’ll be back.”
I sank back against the cushions. Molly gave me a reassuring smile, but it was Hudson who spoke. “Don’t worry about Lev, he can be a handful after a few drinks.”
“Why do it then?”
Liquor was flowing freely despite the band being under twenty-one, and more than one person already looked smashed, swaying on their feet, eyes glassy, and smiles uninhibited.
Hudson and Damon shared a look and Jack cleared his throat. “I heard you killed a version of Zombie by The Cranberries. It’s like one of my all-time favorites. I’d love to hear it.”
“That’s a great idea, Eva.” Molly nudged my shoulder. “I bet Rafe wouldn’t mind you playin’ his guitar.”
“The Zemaitis.” Damon reared back. “Rafe let you play the Zemaitis? No fucking way!” Heat creeped into my cheeks, but the guitarist wasn’t done. “He never lets anyone play that damn thing. Not even me.” Shock flashed in his green eyes.
“I… it was really only for a minute.”
“Interesting.” His brow quirked up. “But yeah, you should play. Maybe we could jam together?”
Loud voices cut through the air. “Back the fuck off, Rafe. I got it,” Levi yelled, eyes frantic as his brother tried to help him clean up the mess. Hudson leaped to his feet, Damon too, both of them swerving through the bodies to get to their bandmates.
“Chill out, man,” Hudson said, his voice easy.
“Yeah, and who the fuck asked you, Ryker? Why don’t you go back over there and fuck your latest piece of ass?”
Molly gasped beside me, shrinking into the couch. I reached for her hand, watching with horror as Black Hearts unraveled in front of my eyes.
“Fuck you, man. We didn’t ask you to show up here.” The two of them were up in each other’s face now, anger radiating off them in heavy waves.
“Hud, not here, man.” Damon pressed his hand against Hudson’s chest trying to force him backward. He budged a couple of inches, giving Rafe room to slip between them. He kept his eyes on Levi, saying something I couldn’t make out from our position on the other side of the room.
“Should we do somethin’?” Molly’s voice was cracked with pain.
“Like what?”
“Yeah?” Hudson yelled at Damon. “Well, he can take a fucking—”
Levi tried to lunge for him, but Rafe caught him, grappling him like a bear.
“Do something,” Molly cried, burying herself into my side, “You have to do somethin’.”
Before I knew it, I’d moved off the couch and found Rafe’s guitar in the corner of the room where we’d left it the night before. Slipping the strap over my neck, I strummed an E Minor. A couple of people glanced in my direction, confusion marring their faces. Jack caught my eye and gave me a little nod of encouragement, so I strummed again, moving into the C Minor.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing playing my brother’s guitar?” Levi had shrugged out of Rafe’s hold, stalking toward me. He stopped in the middle of the room. If looks could have killed, I was pretty sure I’d be dead. But I had his attention.
I had the attention of the whole room.
“I heard you’re supposed to be a big deal or somethin’.”
So help me, Jesus. What was I saying?
But there was no backing down now. If Levi was focused on me, he wasn’t focused on Hudson or Rafe.
“Like you don’t know who I am,” he said smugly, running his thumb over his snake bite piercings. “Everyone knows who the fuck I am.”
“Until a month ago, I’d never even heard of Black Hearts Still Beat.”
“Bullshit.” He inched closer, his eyes a strange mix of fury and fascination. “Now tell me why the fuck you’re holding my brother’s guitar like it belongs to you.”
Offering him a half-hearted shrug, I plucked the strings again, playing the opening chords of Zombie. “I figured I’d like to see what all the fuss is about. You know the lyrics?”
“Do I know the fucking lyrics?” Levi glanced around challenge sparking in his eyes. “Who the fuck is this chick?”
A rumble of laughter cut through the tension. But I saw people’s uncertainty, the looks of pity and dread and everything in between. All while Rafe, Hudson, and Damon watched me with what looked a lot like awe.
My mouth was dry, my hands clammy as they cradled wood and string.
Levi smirked, like a shark circling its prey. “What’s the matter, angel?” he said. “Don’t you want to play with the devil?”
No one intervened. Molly didn’t run to my rescue and Rafe made no move to stand beside me, to protect me from his big, bad brother. I was all alone. But something told me I held the power. What I did next would determine how the rest of the night played out.
“I’m game, if you think you can keep up?” Sweat beaded along my neck, trickling between the valley of my breasts, and down my back.
“Let’s see what you’ve got, Country.” It was meant to be an insult, but if there was one thing I wasn’t ashamed about, it was where I came from.
As I went into the opening chords again, I risked a glance at Rafe, wondering what he thought about all this. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was watching Levi.
Watching Levi watch me.
And as Levi’s raspy voice dropped the first lyric, I was certain I caught a flash of jealousy in his brother’s eyes. Which was ridiculous. I didn’t like Levi; I was scared of him. I’d just wanted to do something to stop the anger bleeding into the room. Felt an overwhelming need to help.
Now I was here, playing guitar while Levi Hunter growled the words, intensity rippling off him. It was visceral. A physical transformation. Levi didn’t just come alive as he sang, he flew. Elevating to some higher level. I almost stumbled over the chords a couple times just watching him.
We fell into an easy rhythm, and somewhere during the second chorus I started singing along with him. My eyes found Rafe again, and this time, he was looking back at me. His eyes full of so much emotion, I didn’t know what to pick out first. But quickly, I realized he didn’t look relieved or thankful or even appreciative.
He looked sad.
He looked like he thought I’d just made a huge mistake.
The second the music stopped, people swarmed us. Molly lunged for me and I barely managed to slip the guitar strap off and hand it to Jack before she reached me.
“Holy cow that was f’in amazin’.” She pulled me into her arms, my laughter strained as I searched for Rafe across the room. But another face filled my vision.
“Not bad, Country,” Levi said around a playful smirk. “I like what you did with the chords.”
“I had a good teacher.” I looked for Rafe again but couldn’t see him.
Disappointment flooded me.
“Shit, Eva, Rafe and Hudson said you were good,” Damon added, “But that was, well you fucking rocked it. Are you sure you want to be a cou
ntry singer?”
I shrugged, not at all comfortable with all their stares and questions and compliments.
“I’d like to make a toast.” Levi announced, grabbing a beer from the closest person to him. “To Eva for playing like a fucking pro and bringing a little fun to this dull as fuck party.”
There were a few grumbles at that, but no one complained. I sensed no one would dare. Levi Hunter was king among these people and his word was law.
“And to my band,” he spun around to face Hudson and Damon, “we might have our ups and downs but I fucking love you guys.”
Molly nudged me discreetly, her brows furrowed as we watched Levi. He was like a yo-yo swinging back and forth. Low then high. Angry then elated.
“And Rafe, bro, where the fuck are you?” He stood taller, searching over the heads. “Rafe?”
“I think he went to take a piss,” someone answered.
“Oh well, to Rafe. The best guy I know and the only guy I trust.” Levi capped the bottle with his thumb and shook it rapidly before releasing it, thrusting it high, and letting the spray rain down on everyone.
Girls shrieked and guys howled and Levi looked punch drunk as he rejoined his loyal servants.
“That was f’ed up, right?” Molly whispered as Hudson and Damon discussed something out of earshot. “Maybe we should go?” Concern shone in her eyes. “Before things really get out of control?”
“I’ll be right back, okay?” I rushed out, unable to get the image of Rafe, the hurt in his eyes, out of my head.
“But—”
“Hudson,” I tapped his shoulder and he whirled around. “Can you keep Molly company for a little while. I need to go find…”
“Go,” he said as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “I’ll look out for her, promise.”
This time, I believed him. Hudson Ryker was a lot of things—player, brooding hot-headed, impulsive drummer for one of the country’s hottest bands—but something told me I could trust him.
At least, I hoped I could. Because I wasn’t leaving here until I’d found Rafe.
Until I understood what the hell had just happened.
It didn’t take much to find Rafe out on the balcony. As I stepped outside, the couple of people making out on one of the chairs got up and went inside, giving us privacy.
“Hey,” I said, gingerly joining him by the railing. “What are you doin’ out here?”
“Just thinking.” His boot scuffed against the tiles.
“Rafe, did I do something wrong just now? I was only tryin’ to help.”
His eyes shifted to mine, glittering under the moonlight. “You didn’t do anything, Eva,” he let out a heavy sigh, “it’s just... Levi is—”
“Complicated?” I repeated the word he’d used about his brother before.
“He’s my older brother, but it’s always felt like I’m the one looking out for him.”
“Is it the band? The lifestyle?” They were so young to be thrust into a world of fame and fortune. I couldn’t ever imagine walking into a room and have people fall over themselves to appease me.
“Music is in his soul. It’s all he knows,” he said the words as if they explained everything, when really, they explained nothing.
“I only wanted to help,” I said the things again, unable to shake the feeling Rafe wasn’t telling me everything.
“I know.” He reached out for me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. His hand lingered and I turned into his touch, unable to resist the pull. “I didn’t want tonight to end like this. But that’s Levi, always fucking things up.” There was no anger in his words, just a resigned acceptance that made my heart ache. Whatever existed between these two brothers was soul deep.
“Yo, Rafe,” a voice called, and he let out another sigh, “We’ve got a problem.”
He cussed under his breath, shooting me an apologetic look.
“Go,” I said. “I’ll be fine.”
Even if it was a lie.
Rafe hesitated, his eyes shuttering. Without warning, he dropped a kiss on my head before disappearing inside. I stared out at the city, my thoughts running a hundred miles a minute. There was so much I wanted to know about Rafe, questions I wanted to ask. But my time was almost up and part of me resented Levi for stealing what little time we had left away from us. But part of me also felt conflicted about him. He’d sparked something in me: anger, frustration, fear… protectiveness. It didn’t really make any sense, but Levi brought out a side of me I hadn’t felt since being in hospital, watching the kids younger than me try to make sense of it all.
Overwhelmed, I tilted my face to the night’s sky and closed my eyes, letting the cool air wash over me. I didn’t hear Rafe until I felt his body behind me, his arms sliding around my waist. “Hi,” he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of my ear.
“Hi,” I replied, warmth spreading through me, memories of last night flooding my mind.
“Levi and his entourage just left.”
“They did?” I whirled in his arms. “Is that okay? I mean, where will they go?” The concern in my voice surprised me.
“They’re heading downtown to the warehouse district for a private party.”
“You didn’t want to go?”
“And give up my last night with you?” Rafe leaned in, ghosting his lips over mine, sending shivers up my spine.
“But don’t you need to... go and look out for him?”
“Jake and his guys have it covered. Besides, Damon went with them.”
“So you stayed… for me?”
He cupped my face. “Is it so hard to believe?”
I gulped, trying to give myself a second to process the fact Rafe had decided to stay.
With me.
For me.
“Molly and Hudson?” I asked,
“Are... inside. But I’m not sure they will be for much longer.”
“Let me guess, Molly already forgave him?”
Laughter crinkled Rafe’s eyes. “She told you about earlier?”
I frowned. “You mean you know why she was acting all weird?”
“I, uh, shit. She didn’t tell you, did she?” He let out an exasperated breath, and I tensed.
“What did he do, Rafe?”
Guilt bled into his expression. “Molly caught him flirting with a couple of girls.”
“I see.”
“You don’t sound surprised?”
Shrugging, I replied, “I figured it was somethin’ like that.”
“Hudson is…”
“Hudson.” I shrugged.
“Let them have their fun.” Rafe’s expression turned serious. “I’m only interested in one thing. You, Starshine. Ready to tell me what you meant before?”
“About?” I was confused, letting him grip the rail either side of my body, caging me in.
“I want to know you, Eva. The good, bad, all the dark and deep bits in between. I know you’re hiding something.”
“I...” The words were right there on the tip of my tongue.
But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t see the pity in his eyes.
So I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed my lips to his. Rafe slid a hand into my hair, kissing me back, his tongue teasing and playful. “Are you trying to distract me, Starshine?”
“Is it workin’?” I asked breathlessly, loving how easily his nickname for me came out.
“I’m not sure.” His thumb stroked the skin beneath my ear. “You should probably do it again.”
Soft laughter filled the air as our lips met again in a slow caress.
“What time is it?” I whispered, finally coming up for air.
“Still early.”
Easing back, I arched a brow.
“Fine.” He chuckled. “It’s a little past eleven.”
“Already?” We’d promised our parents to be home tomorrow before church; not that I would be attending.
“Stay,” Rafe said.
&n
bsp; “Rafe, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I’m only asking you for what you’re willing to give me, Eva.” He brushed my lips again. “But stay, please.”
“Okay,” the word hung between us. One little word that held so much intention.
Rafe’s face lit up, and I noticed how much younger he looked. Lighter somehow.
“What?” he asked.
“You. You’re like no one I’ve ever met.”
“Cut me open and I bleed, Eva. Just like everyone else.” His words seeped into me, chilling me to the bone.
I shuddered and Rafe pulled me closer. “You’re cold, let’s go inside.” He took my hand and led me back into the penthouse. I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t cold, that his kiss had ignited a firestorm in my tummy. I didn’t confess that it was his words that had affected me, the darkness behind them.
Because I was slowly beginning to realize we were more alike that I first thought.
I had secrets.
But so did Rafe.
Molly never surfaced again. Hudson did make a brief appearance to grab snacks and drinks from their fully stocked refrigerator. I guess being famous had its perks. I’d quickly averted my eyes when I realized he was practically buck naked, save for a tiny towel secured around his waist.
“Did that seriously just happen?” I asked Rafe, eyes still wide, cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
“Hudson doesn’t care. Now you know why signing the NDA was so important.”
“You don’t say,” I grumbled, my eyes flicking to the closed bedroom door. “This feels weird. It’s weird, right?” My friend was beyond that door, doing God only knew what with Hudson. If the muffled giggles coming from the other side were anything to go by, she was enjoying every second.
“Do you want to...?” Rafe pressed his lips together, swallowing whatever words he’d been about to say.