by Ali Parker
His eyes fluttered open and he watched me through the stream of water. “I don’t know if I can do this, Janie.”
My smile of bravado faltered. “Max, don’t say that. I know this is complicated but—”
He reached for me, wrapped an arm behind my back, and pulled me none too gently into the shower with him. I gasped as the water hit me and soaked through my clothes. He held fast and pulled me against his naked body. For a moment, I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there, arms slack at my side, my hair sticking to my cheeks and neck.
Max bowed his head and rested his cheek against mine. “I don’t want a future with Sienna. I want a future with you.”
My heart ached.
“I want a child with you,” he continued, “not with Sienna. I’m lost, Janie. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. How can something that feels so right be so hard to hold on to?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. “You’re holding on to me now and I’m not going anywhere.”
The tension in his shoulders ebbed away.
I lost track of time standing in the shower with him like that. Eventually, I forced myself to move and stripped out of my water-heavy clothes. Max watched every move I made with tired, drunken eyes. Once I’d tossed my wet clothes across the bathroom into the sink, we bathed each other. There wasn’t anything sensual to it—not like there used to be when we showered together. This time, it was an act of tenderness. I wanted him to feel taken care of and he seemed to want to do the same for me.
When we were done, we dried each other off and padded to the bed. My skin still tingled from the heat of the shower as we slipped under his blankets together. Max wasted little time pulling me in close with my back pressed to his chest. His chin found its home in the groove of my shoulder and we settled into the same sleeping position we used to share when we were together.
I closed my eyes and listened to him breathe as his heart beat gently against my back. He fell asleep in less than five minutes.
Minutes crept by and I never closed my eyes. This moment, even though he was hurting, meant more to me than a job offer ever could. When he was at his most vulnerable, I was still the one he called. I was the one he wanted comfort from.
Maybe things weren’t over for Max and me. Maybe the timing would never be perfect and we would have to simply choose each other over whatever obstacle might be present at the time. Right now, that obstacle was Sienna.
She was causing him too much anguish for me not to worry about her. From what I’d heard, she wasn’t stable and I’d had my fair share of dealings with unpredictable woman with concealed intentions.
If she was pulling one over on Max and making him go through all of this, then she was going to hear from me.
Slowly, delicately, I extracted myself out from under Max’s arm. He didn’t move as I rolled off the side of the bed and padded to his door, where I took his robe off the hook and shrugged into it. It was way too big for me and I held it wrapped tightly around my waist as I crept down the hall and the stairs to my purse on the floor at the front door.
I pulled my phone out, found Holly’s number in my list of contacts, and texted her for the first time in almost a year:
Who is this Sienna woman and how do I find her?
Chapter 16
Max
I wasn’t sure if it was the headache or the hunger pangs that woke me, but when I opened my eyes to a bedroom baking in sunlight, I immediately regretted it.
My head felt like an evil little demon was using a drill against the inside of my skull. I groaned and massaged my temples as memories of last night began to flicker in and out of focus. I recalled Jeremiah at the bar suggesting I pace myself when I ordered the first round of shots. I remembered venting to him about Sienna, stumbling to his car at the end of the night, and calling Janie when we got back to my place.
Janie.
She’d come when I called her. She showed up in the middle of the night with eyes full of concern and gentle hands, and she’d taken care of me even though I’d been such a delirious asshat.
She deserved better. She wanted more than I could give right now and that wasn’t fair.
I needed to talk to her.
Her side of the bed still smelled like her perfume but she was no longer there. The sheets weren’t even warm. I forced myself to sit up and cursed my spinning head as I tried to find my footing. It took a couple of minutes to orient myself. A cold splash of water on my face in the bathroom helped.
After getting dressed and brushing my teeth, I left the bedroom. At the top of the stairs, I paused when I smelled something cooking. Nostalgia rolled over me. When Janie and I used to spend weekends together when we were together, she’d always get up before me on Saturday mornings and make pancakes. She knew where everything was in my kitchen, so I supposed it was easy for her to fall back into that habit this morning.
I descended the stairs and listened to utensils bumping against pans. As I drew closer, I could hear her humming. I smiled before coming around the corner into the kitchen.
Janie stood with her back to me at the counter, wearing one of my T-shirts. In front of her was the pancake pan. She’d poured several decent-sized pancakes onto it and stood at the ready with a flipper in hand to turn them over when they were ready.
I came up behind her.
Janie heard me coming. She tilted her face to the side but didn’t take her eyes off the pancakes. “How did you sleep?”
When I reached her, I wrapped my arms around her waist. Her free hand fell to my wrist.
“Well enough, all things considered,” I said.
She leaned back to rest her head against my collarbone. “Me too.”
Neither of us said anything while the pancakes simmered and eventually started to bubble. Janie flipped them one at a time and stirred the remaining batter in a mixing bowl for good measure.
I pulled her in a little closer and rested my cheek against hers. “Thank you for showing up for me last night.”
She stopped stirring. “I’ll always show up for you, Max.”
“I know I made an ass of myself.”
She turned in my arms and leaned against the counter at her back. Her eyes searched mine. “You did no such thing. We’re all allowed moments of doubt and vulnerability. God knows I’ve had mine. It’s not good to hold it all in.”
“Still, I—”
“Max.” Her tone was stern as she reached out and placed a hand on my chest. Her touch calmed a storm raging inside me. “I was happy you let me help. It felt good to be with you again, even if your breath did smell like tequila.”
The smile that curled her lips and lit up her eyes gave me permission to breathe easier. Janie always had a way about her that helped me relax.
Her hand fell from my chest and she turned back to the pancakes. “Stop distracting me,” she said. “I don’t want to burn these.”
“How can I help?”
Within another five or ten minutes, we found ourselves sitting at the table in my kitchen nook pouring maple syrup over our stacks of pancakes. Janie smothered hers with butter, as she always used to do, and helped herself to warmed-up raspberries she’d found in my fridge and popped in the microwave. They stained the inside of her lips a magnificent shade of red.
The first few bites were hard to get down because of my rolling stomach from all the liquor, but once I was halfway through the meal, the nausea abated.
I watched Janie eat. Neither of us spoke as we made our way through the meal.
When she was done, she set her utensils down and sipped her coffee while she gazed out the kitchen windows at the sunny morning.
“Did I scare you off last night?” I asked.
Her eyes slid to me. “Scare me off?”
I nodded. “I think I asked for too much when I can’t give you what you deserve. I said a lot of things last night, things that I meant, but I can’t do anything about them yet. I need to figure things out with Sienna before we
take any more steps.”
Janie arched an eyebrow and set her coffee mug down. “Steps?”
I could hear the hope in her voice. It matched the frequency in my heart.
“I want to be with you, Janie,” I said. I’d told her the truth last night and saw no reason to play it close to the vest this morning. “I’ve always wanted to be with you and I’ve regretted losing you every day since we broke up. But I can’t act on it now. Sienna deserves a conversation. She and I need to work out what our futures look like. How we’re going to parent. How we’re going to support each other and be a united front despite not being together. It’s complicated, I know, and it might take some time to work through it all, but if you’re willing to wait for me—”
“I am,” she said without hesitation or doubt. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
She pushed up from her chair. I watched as she moved around to my side of the table to stand behind my chair. She rested her hands on my shoulders.
“Can’t we pretend for a little while longer that it’s just us?” she asked softly.
I tilted my head back to peer up at her. Janie smiled down at me and lifted her hands from my shoulders to hold my face in her hands. She leaned over and pressed a delicate, flirty kiss to my lips. She tasted like syrup and butter.
“You don’t want to be with Sienna,” she said. “You don’t owe her anything other than support. And you can support her while I support you.” Her kisses wandered across my jaw to my ear. She pinched it between her teeth, gently at first, nothing but a nip and a tease, and harder after, a sharp sting that made me gasp. She smiled against my neck and continued kissing. “Let me make you feel good, Max.”
She had me wrapped around her finger and she knew it. There was no way I could say no to her, not with her lips wandering down my neck or her fingers running over my shoulders and into the neckline of my shirt. Her touch ran down over my chest and back up.
“Please?” she cooed.
“You’re dangerous, woman.”
She giggled softly. “Is that a yes?”
I gripped her wrists. Her kisses on my neck stilled as she waited for my answer.
I stood up, and Janie giggled as I turned and swept her up in my arms. She draped her arms around my neck as I carried her into the living room and threw her down on the sofa, where she promptly slid off the edge and went to a crouch in front of me. She spread her legs and balanced on the balls of her feet while she reached out and yanked my sweatpants down in a quick flourish. They settled around my knees and she smiled up at me as she freed me from my boxers.
I was already hard for her. She looked so good in nothing but my T-shirt that hovered across her upper thighs.
Janie let out a satisfied and eager sound that was something between a moan and a sigh as she leaned in close and teased my cock with her tongue. The sensation made me flinch, and she rewarded me by taking me in her mouth with her tongue pressed against me. She guided me to the back of her throat and slowly worked me over, bouncing on the balls of her feet, holding my gaze, and reminding me of how good things used to be.
“Fuck,” I growled.
She moaned around my cock in her mouth.
I reached down and plunged my fingers into her hair. Janie responded by taking me in deeper. I held her there, relishing the feeling of her throat tightening around me before I let her up for air. She grinned, possessed by her lust, and pulled my shirt up over her hips. She wasn’t wearing any panties. My cock strained as she reached between her thighs and began rubbing her pussy while she sucked me off.
I clenched my teeth and let my head fall back.
This was the best sensation I’d had in ages. The world had felt like it was collapsing in on me these past couple of weeks but Janie’s mouth stole all that stress away. She melted around me and I looked back down at her as she pressed a finger inside herself.
That did it.
I pulled her up to her feet, spun her around, and pushed her forward. Janie arched her back and dropped low on the sofa for me, balancing on her forearms as she looked over her shoulder and watched as I realized I didn’t have a condom. Much to my surprise, she revealed one she’d been keeping in her sports bra.
I arched an eyebrow. “Someone’s prepared.”
“I wanted this to happen,” she admitted with plump lips and heavy eyes.
I stepped in close behind her and gave her ass a hard slap. She yelped, jerked upright, and pushed back against me until her glistening pussy grazed my cock.
“Fuck me,” she pleaded.
I ran a hand up the inside of her thigh and cupped her pussy. She sighed and moaned as I gave her one finger, followed by another, and felt her tighten around me. Janie had a body that made me forget my own name. She was tight and firm but also soft and luscious in all the right places. Her pussy was pink and swollen and dripping wet. I pressed in deeper until she gripped the sofa cushions and gasped.
That was the spot.
Janie moaned my name as I fucked her with my fingers. She lost her mind as I pressed against her G-spot and made her come so hard juices ran down the inside of her thighs. When she was good and ready, I tore open the condom, rolled it on, and gave her all of me.
Janie cried out in pleasure. Her back arched and I planted a hand against the dimples in her lower back, forcing her down and keeping her in place as I bucked furiously against her.
She collapsed forward but kept her ass in the air for me. Her cries were muffled by the sofa cushions until I took a fistful of her hair and forced her head up. From behind, I saw the corner of her lips curl in a needy smile.
I pulled her up against me and growled in her ear. “Good girl.”
Chapter 17
Janie
Max’s grip in my hair tightened until it was painful, and I smiled against the bite of pain as he pulled my head to the side and kissed my shoulder and back. My pussy ached and throbbed around his cock and it was all I could do to stay on my knees for him as my legs threatened to turn to putty.
“Yes,” I breathed. “Your cock feels so good.”
Max thrust deeper, harder. Little stars exploded behind my eyelids.
He wrapped an arm around my chest to hold me against him. I gripped his forearm. My nails pressed into his flesh. Max let out a primal growl behind me as he reached around with his other arm and rubbed my clit.
It pushed me over the edge.
I screamed out his name as my orgasm broke over me. Max came apart too. His breathing quickened and he threw me down face first while he fucked me hard and fast until he came.
When we were done, we both panted for breath. I could hardly push myself up, so Max pulled me against him. We settled back against the sofa and tilted our heads back to peer up at the skylight.
In another hour or so, the sunlight would stream directly through it and paint our faces in a rainbow reflection.
Max’s chest rose and fell with his labored breaths. “That was…”
“Incredible.”
“I was going to say amazing.”
“Also accurate.”
“You feel the same,” he said as he let his eyes fall closed. “Tight and wet. Always.”
I grinned. “For you.”
He cracked open one eye and peered at me. “Only for me?”
“Yes.”
He put a hand on my thigh and we both stayed like that for a while.
Then my phone chirped three times in rapid succession.
I extracted myself from the sofa and made my way into the kitchen on wobbly legs, where I picked up my phone from the counter. Holly had replied to my text message with three separate messages. The first was an address—Sienna’s address. The second was an emoji of a fist bump.
And the third was a picture of Sienna herself.
“Everything okay?” Max asked from where he still lay draped over the sofa.
“Mhm.” I only half heard him. My eyes were glued to the headshot of the bleach-blonde bombshell on my phone screen.
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Sienna was beautiful. I’d give her that.
She was the kind of woman you’d see on every block in Los Angeles with her pin-straight hair, big blue eyes, full pouty lips, and unnatural tan. In the picture, I couldn’t tell if it was self-tanner, a spray-on, or from a tanning bed, but nothing about it looked natural. Her eyes were rimmed in blue eyeliner and her lips were coated in a dewy-looking gloss. She had a pretty smile but it didn’t touch those ocean-blue eyes of hers. The stare was cold. Empty.
Even though the picture was only from the top of her head to her ribcage, I could tell she had a good body, too. No wonder Max had been captivated by her when they first met. Her good looks most likely charmed men left and right and they didn’t realize they were in hot water until it was too late.
Or until their three hundred-thousand-dollar car was smashed to hell in their driveway.
She had huge boobs, which I assumed were as fake as her tan.
Don’t be mean, Janie, I thought to myself. You don’t even know her.
I reminded myself that I didn’t have a problem with enhancement or cosmetic surgeries. Never had. In fact, for the longest time, I’d considered getting some work done myself. Piper had been an incessant voice in my ear that I shouldn’t under any circumstances let anyone near my face with a scalpel or she’d scalpel me herself.
Still, as a girl, I’d had self-esteem issues. Back then, I was nineteen and breast enhancements and nose jobs were so commonplace it was easy to think I wanted one.
In the end, I’d decided against it out of sheer fear. I didn’t want something to go wrong. And what if I spent thousands of dollars for something that didn’t look how I saw it in my head when I closed my eyes? What if I regretted it?
All of these reasons were why I didn’t have any tattoos, either.