by Bonnie Vanak
The tightness in my chest returned, but it wasn’t as constrictive as before.
Maybe confession was good for my soul.
Silent for a moment, he toyed with the screwdriver.
“I have no desire to hurt your brother or anyone else here. Now will you tell me what happened?” I asked, my voice gentle.
He gestured to the grass. We sat, far from the pile of vaporized metal.
“Stephan and I shared the same father, the alpha of our pack. He had four mates, and Stephan’s mother was the youngest. Mine was the first mate, and held more seniority.”
No wonder Stephan thought sharing was natural. “Go on.”
“Stephan is six years younger than me and from the moment of his birth, he was small, frail and not expected to survive. But he was also a fighter. I ended up helping all the moms care for him. I grew attached. He was so damn cheerful. Nothing ever seemed to get him down. When he was a kid, the others would pick on him so I stood up for him. They respected me. Our pack was… tough. Survival of the fittest. I knew Stephan would be toast on his own. So I made sure everyone knew if they dared to mess with him, they’d answer to me.”
Nicolas’s scar flared white again, his distress mounting as he talked.
“Shortly after I was born, we had moved to a rugged area of Washington, interacting with humans only as needed. Our sire had purchased the land to accommodate a growing pack. We’d heard there was Fae living nearby who protected small animals. The old man set about building cabins, growing crops, making it easier to live off the grid.”
Rumors of a Fae usually proved true. But my people are tricky. We don’t reveal ourselves until we wish it, or until it’s too late.
“The Fae didn’t protest?”
“Not at first. We never knew she existed for years. I think I was around 22 and Stephan 16 when the first incident happened. She left a note on a tree, asking us to move because we were hunting deeper and deeper into the woods she protected. I found it, and from then on, directed our hunts away from that area, until the old man decided against it. When I told him what happened, he scoffed and yelled into the forest that it was his land and he would do with it as he damn well pleased.”
“Oh boy,” I muttered, my stomach roiling.
“Our sire tolerated us having lovers outside the pack for no longer than a few days. If they stayed longer, the consequences were grim. When he turned 18, Stephan became a female magnet. He inherited our father’s alpha pheromone to attract females, and he used it to his advantage. It was fine, as long as his lovers only stayed a night or two. Sometimes I slept with them as well to pass them off as mine to take our sire’s focus off Stephan.”
“Noble of you,” I muttered.
Lost in thought, Nicolas didn’t seem to hear. “The trouble came when Stephan met a wounded witch named Dania. They met in the forest when Stephan was hunting. He brought her back to our home to heal and treat her injury. She was so mild and sweet, the sire tolerated her. She became Stephan’s lover.” His jaw tightened. “And my lover as well. Dania liked us both.”
I had an idea of where this was going, and dreaded hearing what happened next. But I needed to hear it.
“Stephan fell in love with her. So did you.” Unable to meet his gaze, I looked away. “She used a love spell on him.”
“Everyone fell in love with her.” He squeezed his hands tight.
My heart ached. They had no clue of the power of my people to manipulate.
“After two weeks, she was fully integrated into our pack. Even the old man thought she was terrific. And then one night she saw Stephan eating as wolf, and called him out on it. Told him he was a savage, and the most disgusting person she’d ever met. I’ll never forget how Stephan looked after he shifted into his human form. So fucking ashamed, as if being a wolf was a disease.”
Nicolas unfurled his fingers. “I pulled her aside, told her to shut up and then bam. She revealed what she truly was in front of everyone.”
“A Fae,” I whispered. “The one living in your woods.”
“Not an ordinary Fae. A Fionn. A fucking pissed off Fionn,” Nicolas said tightly.
My heart dropped to my stomach. No wonder Nick distrusted me.
“She laughed and told the old man she’d been waiting for this moment, a chance to drive us away from her forest and her forest creatures she protected, the ones we hunted and dined upon. She told the old man thanks to Stephan, she would exact her revenge. She sent a tornado through our territory. Homes were destroyed. More than a few of the pack got hurt. An elderly member died, and when it was over, there was little left. The bitch got what she wanted. We moved.”
He drew in a deep breath. “But before we did, I tracked her down while she slept. And I tore her throat out.”
Silence draped between us for a moment. I understood. My voice was steady as I spoke. “Fionn are vulnerable after we create storms. We lose power and must rest.”
Most Fionn. I did not tell him I had this need.
Fisting his hands, Nicolas stared into the distance. “Yeah, well, I did it and I’m not sorry. But it didn’t make matters better. Our father kicked Stephan out, and said he should have died at birth. Stephan went wild. Begged my father for a second chance. He refused.
“No one stood up for Stephan, not even his damn mother. They were too scared of the old man. I stood up for him and the old man beat me senseless.”
Nicolas stroked the scare almost absently. “He gave me this so that every time I looked into the mirror, I would remember what a fool I was.”
My heart squeezed tight. I wanted to draw him into my arms and hold him close to offer reassurance and comfort. His body language, so taut and tense, warned me against this.
“What happened after?” I asked in my softest voice.
He spread out his hands, the gesture more defiance than helpless. “We were homeless. Wandered for a long time. I could have gotten a job in the human world, but I was terrified of leaving Stephan. He would not eat, refused to shower, became so depressed he wanted to die. I had to watch him all the time. For a while we lived in the woods and I hunted for food, but Stephan was so ashamed of being wolf, he refused to eat anything I brought down. So we went dumpster diving at night, and foraged for food that way. Homeless werewolves, thanks to a fucking Fionn Fae who destroyed our lives.”
His expression tight, Nicolas flung the screwdriver with such force, it hit the wind turbine tower and sank into it. Astonished, I watched the entire tower shake. Werewolves have enormous strength, but I’d never seen anything like this.
The blades stuttered, and then stopped.
“Shit,” he said mildly, running a hand through his hair. “That’s another damn repair I have to make.”
We looked at each other and I couldn’t help it. I laughed. His eyebrows arched, and then he laughed as well, a deep, rusty sound, as if he weren’t accustomed to it.
When the laughter died, I spoke. “How did you meet Grayson?”
Nicolas drew in a breath. “Grayson saw us outside a restaurant where he dined with one of his business partners. He knew we were werewolves, told us he would feed us. He brought us inside, and when the manager refused to serve us because we stank so fucking much, Grayson just told us to stay put, called the owner and bought the entire restaurant.
He turned to me, his expression fierce. “He bought an entire fucking restaurant just so we could eat. That’s a true alpha. Not that son of a bitch who sired me and Stephan. We joined his pack after, and we’d do anything for him, just as he proved he’d do anything for us. Including inviting you into our pack. I wasn’t certain of you because you’re Fionn, Sienna. But Stephan adores you and would do anything for Grayson.”
Reaching out to him, I locked gazes.
"Dania was a superficial and shallow Fionn Fae. She cared only about her forest and what she wanted. We’re not all like that." I touched the scar on his cheek.
He did not pull away, so I kept touching him, letting him feel the
warmth of my skin, the blood running beneath it. Nick was a feral wolf, honest and fierce in his loyalty, and I knew I had to be honest and equally exposed with him if I were to gain his trust.
It was imperative that I gain his trust because for all the evil my own colony had committed, I did not want him to think all Fionn were like that. One bad experience stood to tarnish my race forever in Nick's eyes. He had been badly burned by one nasty Fae. I never thought of myself as a spokesperson for my people, but here I was, the runaway Sienna, trying to hide her Fae identity, reassuring a wounded wolf that hey, we weren't all bad.
Because we were not. And I realized this as I gently clasped his hands, that maybe I needed to say this to myself as well.
"She hurt Stephan, wounded you and destroyed your lives. She was a deceptive bitch. I get it. But you played a role in the relationship as well. You trusted her, and what you fear most is that by trusting me I'll do the same to your new family. I’m not perfect. I'm still torn about even being here to visit. But I will promise you this, Nick. I will not do anything to deliberately hurt Stephan or you the way Dania did. She did it because she desired power over you and your pack. I have no desire to obtain power, or wield it.
“At the same time I am not going to apologize for what I am. Or who I am. I'm Fionn Fae. I have enough power to destroy everything and everyone you care about. You can either accept that, or tell me to leave.”
I drew in a deep breath. “So what's it to be? The choice is yours. Grayson trusts me. Stephan trusts me. Will you trust me?
"Trust is more than words," he said slowly. "You have to earn it."
So true. I nodded. “And it works both ways.”
We sat in silence for a few moments. Finally he looked at me, really looked at me. “Do you want to earn my trust, Sienna?”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “If you will earn my trust in return.”
Nicolas seemed to arrive at a decision. He stood, extended a hand. “Let’s walk. We could both use a cleansing nature walk.”
True. Confession might be good for the soul, but it was so damn intense.
He gestured at paved pathway snaking from the house into the trees. I nodded and we set out.
Timber Wolf Retreat sang with harmony and balance with the environment. Nicolas told me they had installed solar panels to take advantage of the sunshine to power the house and outbuildings, and a few windmills as well. But it was the gardens, arranged like a botanical paradise, that filled me with delight.
The children’s garden featured a pint-sized white picket fence and gate, with a paved yellow brick walkway. Two playhouses of turquoise and yellow stood no higher than my waist – a perfect retreat for children. There was a small maze with hidden corners filled with small planters of herbs and flowers, and a hand pump with a watering can built for tiny hands.
The walkway continued outside the gate to a peaceful Zen-like retreat garden with a pagoda shaded by trees. A reflecting pool and small waterfall added to the serenity. Beneath the pagoda’s roof were several lounge chairs and tables, inviting one to rest and reflect.
We sat for a few minutes as Nicolas told me about the garden and how he’d designed it. I drank in the fresh air, the clean smell of the water, and became aware of the man sitting next to me, his body finally relaxing, his dark brown gaze no longer tormented.
“I like you, Sienna,” he said slowly. “You’re not like other Fae, or hell, even other women. Grayson and Stephan like you as well, and trust you. I want to trust you.”
His smoldering gaze swept up and down my body. “There’s other things I want to do with you as well that I believe you will enjoy. If you’re willing.”
He held out a hand. “I want to show you something.”
The third garden intrigued me the most. The walkway turned into a mosaic artwork of wolves in the forest, threading through trees, with several benches along the way to sit and admire the view or simply relax.
It forked with one section marching up to a dirt pathway leading to the mountain, and the right fork marching down the hill.
Nicolas escorted me on the right fork. Trees and bushes surrounded us, with planters of bright yellow and purple pansies set here and there. Perfectly normal, until we reached a black metal fence and gate about ten feet tall. I could see a house beyond the gate. Wood, one story tall, it blended into the trees and greenery, but for bright red shutters. The gate had a combination lock.
Intrigued, I touched the gate and winced. Iron.
“Sorry about that. I’ll remind Grayson to change the gate.”
Before I could ask why, he punched in a code and swung the gate open. “We keep it locked to prevent children from entering. Come on inside. I want you to see something.”
A bright blue mosaic pathway lined with pink and purple petunias snaked through the grounds to the front door. Set amongst the trees, with window boxes filled with red geraniums, it looked like a pretty cottage in the woods.
“The witch’s cottage where she kept Hansel and Gretel locked up? Is that why children aren’t allowed here?” I teased.
Something glinted in his gaze. “Not quite.”
He swung open the red door. “It’s a playhouse for adults only.”
Upon first examination, the cottage looked like an ordinary guesthouse, with a cozy leather couch and chairs arranged around a brick fireplace, stairs leading to a second floor and a modern, stainless steel kitchen.
“There’s two bedrooms upstairs,” Nicolas murmured. “But I use the basement the most.”
He punched in more numbers to unlock another door that opened to a set of sweeping steps. Light filtered inside from the windows downstairs.
But this was no ordinary basement.
White fur rugs covered the hardwood floors. Cedar tubs of house plants adorned the corners. But it was the bed that caught my eye… and the restraints attached to each of the four posters, and the fetish instruments hanging on posts on the white walls.
I ran my fingers over a spanking paddle and eyed the floggers, ropes and clamps arranged on the wall. A spanking bench sat near a love chaise, an S-shaped couch. There was also a table with leather restraints and stirrups.
“This is where I take my lovers, Sienna. The ones who want to be my lovers and trust me,” he said softly. “This is the underbelly of the real Nicolas Prentice. You needed to see this before we proceed further.”
He paused a minute, his voice carrying a note of uncertainty. “Does this frighten you?”
I smiled a little. “No. It’s intriguing.”
The bondage chair sparked my interest the most. I had seen one at a sex club I’d worked at for a brief time as a bartender. Charlie, the other bartender serving champagne to those in the bondage basement, had explained its purpose.
Nicolas noticed my interest and walked over, caressing the leather backing. “Do you know what this is, Sienna?”
“A bondage chair. This guy named Charlie I used to work with told me about it.” I tilted my head at the chair. “The submissive partner sits in it, legs spread to expose her, or his, genitals. Usually they’re restrained in the chair. Or maybe gagged. It’s a personal preference.”
Nicolas stopped running his hand over the chair. “Did you ever use one?”
A nervous laugh. “Charlie tried to get me into it, but I was more interested in working overtime. Pay before play.”
“Not here. Here the only thing you’re allowed to focus on is pleasure – yours and your partners. Or multiple partners.”
He hovered near the chair, watching my face, as if to gauge my shock, interest or lack of both.
My gaze wandered from his guarded expression, down to his thick shoulders, and then his flat torso, hidden beneath the blue shirt, to the fascinating bulge in his jeans.
“What do you think of my dungeon, Sienna? You talked about trust. Do you trust me enough to become my lover this way?”
I saw the thrill in Nicolas’ eyes and knew the truth. The darkest part of his beast thril
led at holding a willing female down, taking her as he pleased. Never had he taken one such as me – strong and more than capable of fighting him with equal strength. Maybe it had something to do with how Dania had betrayed him and Stephan. Or maybe it was his darker, kinkier side he had all along.
In a way, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was we were here now.
He watched me, his gaze now hooded, as if testing me. Seeing my reaction. I could easily see his reaction, for it reflected in the large bulge tenting his jeans.
The table intrigued me the most. I touched a leather restraint, soft and supple. It would not hurt if he restrained me upon it. Nicolas went to the table and pulled open the bottom half, raising the stirrups.
“I can see you, here.” He touched each stirrup. “Your legs strapped down. Helpless as I ravish you. Screaming as I give you pleasure. Your sex, pink and wet, ready for me.”
Amber flickered in his gaze. His wolf was rising, surely as his cock was rising.
“If I fucked you here, I would fuck you so hard you would see stars each time you climaxed.” He leaned against the table, watching me.
“Have there been others here before?” Silly question. I’m sure he had many lovers here.
“I’ve brought a few here. None since Grayson told us about you. I’ve waited for you, Sienna.”
A thrill raced through me. “You flatter a girl,” I murmured, trailing a finger over a restraint. “Does anyone else in the pack use it?”
“Sometimes. Once a wolf in the pack used it to impregnate his mate. They had a grand time, staying down here until exhausted.”
Gently he traced a finger along my mouth. I slowly licked his finger and his grin faded, replaced by pure heat. “You can do anything you wish here, Sienna. Give in to your darkest and wildest desire, your most hidden fantasy.”
“So you enjoy kinky sex?”
A quick nod, his gaze never leaving me as I picked up a flogger, smacked it against the table.