‘His music’s on. Maybe he didn’t hear you,’ Julia said. ‘I’ll bang on the door.’
Once in the hall Julia hesitated. Maybe Gideon didn’t want to be disturbed. He rarely played music. But then, what would she say to the girl? She decided Gideon could deal with her. And if he wouldn’t, she’d give her an umbrella and ask her to leave.
Julia rapped on the door. The music’s volume dropped and Gideon came out.
‘What’s up?’ He was smiling and relaxed.
‘There’s someone here to see you,’ Julia said. ‘A girl. She looks a bit upset.’
Gideon’s smile disappeared. ‘Why did you let her in?’
‘I couldn’t leave her out there in the rain,’ Julia said.
‘Where is she?’
‘The kitchen.’
He nearly knocked Julia over in his rush to get there. Julia steadied herself, then followed him as far as the door. The girl was still sitting on the bench, her dripping clothes forming a puddle of water on the floor.
‘I told you not to come here, Leanne.’ Gideon’s voice was low and harsh.
‘I didn’t know where else to go.’
Leanne stopped and looked to Julia.
‘Do you mind?’ Gideon said. ‘I need to discuss this in private.’ He slammed the door shut.
Julia went to her room. Gideon had looked furious. And Leanne, Julia wasn’t sure. She had a vacant quality. Perhaps she had mental health problems. Julia removed her sandals and dried her feet. The murmur of voices drifted up from below, though what they said was unintelligible.
About three minutes later, the side door banged and moments after that Gideon turned his music up to full volume. Julia watched from her window and saw Leanne walk up the drive alone. She looked as forlorn as before. At the top of the drive she turned to look back at the house, before heading away, down the hill.
Julia thought of her rejection by Christian. His cold response to her requests to speak to him, just one more time. ‘I only want to talk,’ she had said. His parents had stood fast at their front door and insisted he wasn’t coming down. She had walked home in the rain that night, alone.
Taking some money from her purse and putting on her trainers, she ran downstairs, grabbing an umbrella from the stand by the front door. She wasn’t using the tradesman’s entrance today. She sprinted after Leanne, who had not gone far.
‘Leanne,’ she called.
The girl turned around. ‘What do you want?’ She looked alarmed and frightened.
‘Just to help,’ Julia said.
She handed her the umbrella along with a twenty-pound note and some loose change.
‘There’s a phone box on the corner of the next road,’ Julia said. ‘Call a cab.’
‘But why …’
Julia sprinted back to the house before she could hear the rest of the question.
This time she did use the side door. Gideon must have heard her, because he came into the kitchen at the same time she did.
‘Why did you go after her?’ he said. His body was stiff with anger.
‘I wanted to give her an umbrella.’
Instinct told her not to mention the money. Gideon looked away for a moment, the anger replaced by an anxious expression.
‘Look, you weren’t to know this, Julia, and she can be very convincing, but please don’t let that girl into the house again.’
‘I’m sorry. She just looked so—’
‘Sweet? Vulnerable? Like I said, she’s very convincing, and it’s not your fault. But in future …’
‘Of course,’ Julia said.
‘What did she say about me?’ Gideon asked.
‘Nothing.’
He looked satisfied. ‘Anyway, I appreciate it,’ he said and turned to leave.
‘Who is she?’ Julia asked.
He turned back and grimaced. ‘We went out a couple of times, a while back,’ he said.
‘She’s very young,’ Julia said.
‘It was a mistake. Nothing happened but now she’s obsessed with me, turning up at my parents’, my work. God knows how she got this address.’
‘It sounds like she’s ill.’
‘She needs help.’
‘Poor girl.’
‘If you knew what she’d done, you wouldn’t be feeling sorry for her.’
‘What has she done?’
‘I don’t want to go into it, Julia. I’ve told her you’re not my girlfriend and she seemed to believe me. So, you’ll be OK. Tell me if you see her again.’
What did he mean – you’ll be OK?
‘Is she dangerous?’ Julia asked.
Gideon took a moment to consider before answering. ‘That business with the fire – I wasn’t entirely honest with the police. It was Leanne.’
‘You’re not serious.’
‘Deadly,’ he said. ‘She knew I was having problems with that guy and did it to impress me. Get my attention. She actually thought I’d be pleased, bragged about it. I didn’t tell the police because I didn’t want her to get in any trouble. She needs help, not prison. Besides, I couldn’t prove I didn’t put her up to it. And you’ve seen how sweet and innocent she can play. Who do you think the police would have believed?’
He was right. Leanne was little more than a schoolgirl. She certainly didn’t look like an arsonist who’d set fire to houses, with the occupants asleep inside. If it hadn’t been for those cold eyes, Julia wouldn’t have believed it either.
‘But what was all that business about, with Brandon and the phone. I thought—’
‘Thought what?’ Gideon said.
‘That phone call you made in the garden, on the morning of the fire.’
‘Karl Brier is a work colleague, nothing to do with Devon Garvey. And Brandon’s acting like he’s found a smoking gun. He’ll be asking for money next.’
‘Christ, what a mess,’ Julia said.
‘Tell me about it. Look, I’m sorry I was snappy with you,’ Gideon said. ‘She unnerves me. It’s ridiculous. I’m a twenty-eight-year-old man, she’s a teenage girl and I’m the one living in fear. Talk about the tyranny of the weak. Anyway, thanks for being understanding.’
‘No problem.’
He turned to leave the room before twisting round at the door. ‘And Julia?’
‘Yes?’
‘Please don’t mention this to anyone,’ he said. ‘Anyone at all.’
‘I won’t,’ she said.
Later, alone, Julia thought of her rejection by Christian. Staring out of her bedroom window night after night. She hadn’t turned up at Ellie’s to scream, shout and threaten. But she had thought about it. Once she had got as far as Ellie’s front door, before turning back. A paper-thin margin lay between despair and madness.
But shouting at someone and setting fire to their house were two different things. It was only luck the family hadn’t been inside. They could have died. Even in her darkest moments, Julia had never wished Christian or Ellie physical harm. She could never harm anyone, let alone kill them.
Chapter 51
2017 – Dulwich, London
Hugh pulled Julia into the door of the wooden pavilion at the far end of the rugby pitch. The faint smell of sweat and bleach seeped from the changing room walls. Adrenaline and desire rushed down her spine and ran through to her fingertips – sensations that had been alien to her for so long. Julia didn’t love Hugh, and hadn’t found him especially attractive, initially. It was his admiration, and her longing to be wanted and yearned for, that had drawn her to him. As far as Julia knew, her husband had never found her attractive and had long ago stopped making any effort to hide his infidelity, his scant excuses for coming home late, the gift-wrapped perfume left around the house that Julia never received.
Hugh pressed her against the wall and kissed her. Her mind spiralled back to the nervous, delicious embraces she’d shared with her first boyfriend, Christian. She’d almost forgotten that sex was for pleasure, not an exercise in power. She never denied her husband. Refusa
l would be used against her as one more example of her failure as a wife. He knew this and used it to distress her, demanding sex when she’d been ill in bed all day or came home exhausted after an eighty-hour week. He had taken less pleasure in her discomfort since the start of his affair with Plain Jane. Julia should prostrate herself at the woman’s feet and thank her.
Plain Jane’s husband had done something lucrative in the City and had possessed sufficiently good manners to die a few years ago, leaving her with an enormous life insurance pay-out. With this money, and if Julia gave up the house and savings, maybe she’d be able to leave, without having an accident. Even this fear wouldn’t have kept her in her marriage, if it hadn’t been for Sam. Her inadequacies as a mother and mental instability could have denied her custody. Now Sam was nearly an adult, he could choose for himself.
Hugh pushed himself against her and she gasped with anticipation of release from her marriage as much as his touch.
She had always taken the easiest path, don’t tell the police, do get married, don’t get divorced, do pretend everything’s fine. But the easiest path had led to the hardest life.
Julia kicked off her shoes and together they slid from their upright position onto the benches, only a few hours ago covered with muddy kit, now clean, dry and unyielding. Hugh pushed up her skirt. His enthusiasm was more alluring than his technique.
‘God, Julia. You’re incredible,’ he panted in her ear. ‘It’s not that I don’t love my wife—’
‘Shut up about your wife,’ she said.
‘What about—’
‘Just shut up.’
She silenced him with a kiss. She didn’t want words. They crowded her every waking hour. Bad mother, failed wife. And most of all, coward. A coward. She had always been a coward.
She relaxed into Hugh’s arms and wriggled beneath him, inhaling the excitement, danger and lust.
Something scraped on the floor.
‘What’s that?’ Julia asked.
Hugh was making low grunting noises.
‘Hugh.’
He wasn’t listening. The overhead strip light flicked on. Sam was standing in front of them. Before Julia could speak, he switched the light off.
Julia shoved Hugh off her.
‘Who was that?’ he asked.
‘Sam,’ she said.
His face froze in horror. ‘Jesus, no.’
Julia pulled her shoes on and rearranged her clothing as she dashed to the door. From the top of the steps she could see Sam. He was wandering aimlessly on a patch of green, not seeming to see where he went. Julia ran down the steps to him and grabbed his arm. He yanked it away.
‘Don’t touch me. Stay away from me.’
He was walking backwards, away from her.
‘Sam.’
‘All this time I was on your side,’ he said. ‘I thought it was him. Now I get it.’
‘Sam, please, I can explain.’
Julia stepped towards him. His face twisted with hate.
‘No. I told you, stay away from me. You’re a whore. I hate you. I wish you were dead.’
Julia stepped back as if she’d been slapped. Sam turned and ran around the side of the building to the car park. She recovered and stumbled after him in her heels. The Range Rover was parked in the spot nearest the path.
Julia stopped at the edge of the car park. Sam jumped into the passenger seat on the far side of the car. He put his head into his hands and she could tell he was crying. Of course, his father had brought him here. This wasn’t bad luck. This had been planned.
Leaning against the driver’s side door, smiling and giving her a slow handclap stood her husband, Gideon.
Chapter 52
2018 – Guildford Crown Court
The court session breaks for lunch. I’ve no hunger but force half a sandwich down to maintain my blood sugar, otherwise I’m sure I’ll faint. After I’ve finished, Ralph comes to see me. He looks at the coffee in front of me.
‘Drink it,’ he orders. ‘You’ll be needing the caffeine.’
I take a sip. It’s scalding hot and I put it down again. This momentarily distracts me from the look on Ralph’s face. His brow is lowered, his lips pursed.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘I’ve some news, Julia, and it’s not good.’
I wait.
‘Gideon and Alan are going to testify,’ he says.
‘Why? You said if we all say nothing—’
‘I know. It was Lancaster’s testimony. Your husband thinks it was too favourable to you, and the trial’s going against him. That thirty thousand looks suspicious and you’re not linked to it. He wants to speak out, turn it around. Helena’s advised him against it.’
‘Trust him to think he knows better than his lawyer.’
Ralph rubs his fingers across the ghost of a five-o’clock shadow.
‘There’s something else?’ I ask.
He nods. ‘Sometimes in a case like this, where there are multiple defendants, the jury find it easier if they have one person to blame, a single guilty party to convict – it feels like justice has been served, even if they’re not sure of the other defendants’ innocence.’ Ralph lowers his voice. ‘Julia, do you know what a cut-throat defence is?’
A ringing starts in my ears. ‘A cut-throat defence?’ I repeat.
‘It’s when a defendant strengthens the prosecution case against the co-defendant to increase his chances of acquittal. Gideon and Alan are going to claim you killed Brandon, acting alone.’
This has nothing to do with Lancaster’s testimony or how the case is going. Estranging me from my son and leaving me penniless wasn’t enough. Gideon wants me jailed for life. This was planned with Alan long before the trial. It’s the reason they have female barristers, so it doesn’t look like a bunch of men ganging up on a defenceless woman and he’s sprung it upon us, halfway through the trial, so we’re underprepared.
‘It’s a risky strategy. The prosecution must be rubbing their hands,’ Ralph says. ‘I know Helena and Arianne have tried to talk both of them out of it. I get the impression Gideon’s the dominant one in that relationship.’
‘Gideon’s the dominant one in every relationship,’ I say.
‘Your husband’s a fool. One slip and you’ll all end up being convicted. Whatever’s happened between you two, he can’t want his son to see his mother jailed.’
But he can. He does.
‘He’ll have fixed his story with Alan long ago,’ I say.
‘We can use that against him. Alan’s livelihood depends on Gideon – he won’t turn on him. And as for your husband, I’m taking it your split wasn’t amicable.’
‘It certainly wasn’t a harmonious “let’s put our son first” type break-up. And he didn’t know that me and Brandon had a fling. I guess I’m sliding down the likeability scale,’ I say. ‘The scarlet woman.’
‘Nevertheless, I’m going to have to put you in the witness box.’
‘You said that was the worst thing I could do.’
‘Things have changed,’ Ralph says. ‘I’m going to need to know about your marriage.’
I rub my eyes then rest my chin on my hands.
Unlike some women, I can’t complain I didn’t know what sort of man I was marrying. I knew exactly what he was, though I didn’t care to put a name to it. It was myself I didn’t know. I never acknowledged my feeble thinking and cowardice. Taking the easiest route out of any situation. What was it Andre used to say – running from a wolf into a bear? Each decision, each turn in the road, took me further from safety.
Sometimes, I would fantasise about Gideon’s death. A business rival would burst into the office and shoot him. He’d be walking down a street late at night and knifed for his Rolex. He’d lose control of one of his beloved sports cars and hit a tree. Actually, that did happen. He was on the A3, it was dark and wet, and he was travelling at speed. He took a corner too fast, aquaplaned, flew off the road and smashed into an oak. The car was mangled beyond repair
. Gideon walked away with barely a scratch.
‘You’re a very lucky woman,’ the A & E nurse told me. ‘I could easily be talking to Mr Risborough’s widow right now.’
The good sister misinterpreted the look of horror her words invoked.
I think of Sam, sitting in the public gallery, watching.
‘I can’t put my son through this,’ I say.
‘Can you put him through seeing his mother go to jail? Because if you don’t testify, I have a feeling things are going to go very badly for you.’
I test my coffee again – it’s still too hot, but I drink it anyway, scalding my throat. Ralph watches me in silence. When I finish, I put the coffee down. Only then do I tell Ralph all about my marriage.
Chapter 53
1994 – Guildford
Julia’s attempts at leaving the house in Guildford had stalled. The PhD students were still advertising, but she wasn’t that desperate. What she really wanted was to find a new job and move to London. Brandon had stopped going to the pub and was permanently in the kitchen, drinking beer, and it was impossible to escape his drunken surliness. Gideon was greeted with false bonhomie.
‘Don’t suppose you fancy coming for a drink with me and my new mate, Karl Brier, do you?’
Gideon would bristle and say nothing. Julia felt all his agitation and had to give him respect for his self-control. Under Brandon’s constant onslaught, she wouldn’t have stayed silent to protect a girl, who she knew little deserved protection, and she felt his verbal assaults on Gideon more acutely than those aimed at herself.
‘Off to London? I guess you might as well, as you’ve run through all the men in Guildford?’ had been his adieu the previous Friday.
To avoid the kitchen, she’d taken to buying pre-packed sandwiches and eating them in her room. The only edible ones from the local shop were cheese and pickle and tonight, she finally got sick of them, throwing the packet in the bin, before going to the bathroom to wash her hands. The window was open and she could hear voices on the patio below.
The Verdict Page 24