by Jay Vielle
“I heard them. They spoke of the water tower keys and the treatment, as well as a bill of sale to Sergei, whom they remember. They were trying to understand the connection to all of it when I walked in,” said Oleg. “And they have seen the mutates.”
“Oh my, ladies. You are in a bickle of a pickle, aren’t you?” said Father Joe.
“Let us out of here,” Morgan yelled. “You can’t do this.”
“Ah, my dear, but I can. I can do pretty much whatever I want. In a town that I practically ran before anyway, and will completely run soon; in a country that has a very small percentage of itself left, that will soon be populated only by creatures affected by and carrying a form of the Ebola virus—well, yes, yes I can do whatever I want. And there is no one here to stop me. Now, you had a cell phone in your hand when we came in. Oleg, take the phone, and let’s see who she’s contacted, shall we?”
Morgan and Estela were sitting in folding chairs with their hands bound by duct tape. Oleg reached for Morgan’s pocket. She spun in the seat of the chair and kicked him hard in the shins.
“Agh,” he grunted. Then he slapped her hard in the face and grabbed the phone from her pocket. Tears formed in her eyes and she whimpered. That whimper was the sound that Pablo had heard. He couldn’t wait any longer.
“What’s going on here?” Pablo said, running down the stairs.
“Papá,” said Estela.
“Now Pablo, give me a minute and I shall explain,” said Father Joe.
“The first thing you are going to do is release these girls, one of whom is my daughter,” Pablo said firmly. “What is all this?”
“Pablo, these two girls were caught trespassing on church property. They were snooping around this office. We are dealing with them,” said Father Joe.
“And we forgive those who trespass against us, do we not?” asked Pablo. “Either we try to contact the authorities, or we simply send them away. Why are they tied? Why is Oleg assaulting them? What is this really about?”
“I told you. They were trespassing, and we’re trying to determine what they saw,” said Father Joe.
“What is there to see?” asked Pablo. “This is a church, not a government office.”
“Our financial records, the personal information of our parishioners, whatever thieves look for when they are trying to steal identities,” said Father Joe.
“Steal identities?” said Pablo.
“Why else would they be here? Pablo, I know that we spoke earlier about this. I know that you don’t like your personal business to spill over into church business. I respect that. I don’t interfere with how you treat your daughter or even comment on your parenting. But now, your daughter’s enmity towards you has done exactly that. Her desire to harm you—and to harm this church that has embraced you—has now brought danger to all of us. I was trying to determine the particulars of this through an informal investigation--that is what you walked in on. But your daughter and her, her—girlfriend here, were rifling through our drawers, looking through valuable records, and breaking into a room that we keep inviolate here-- that is what I walked in on. Whether they succeeded in stealing any passwords, bank account numbers, or anything else of value still needs to be determined.
“You did what?” Pablo said to Estela.
“No, Papá,” Estela said. “Es mentira. He’s lying.”
“If there is anyone who is the established liar here, hija, it is you. Were you looking through the church records?”
“It’s not like that,” Estela said.
“Were you?” asked Pablo.
“Papá, no es así,” she said. “It’s not like that!”
“Sí o no, hija!” Pablo shouted. “Yes or no?”
“Yes, but it’s not for what he says,” she pleaded.
“Enough. I’ve heard enough. I’ve never felt more ashamed of you than I do now. It’s not enough you embarrass me by violating the Lord’s commandments regarding illicit romantic attachments, but now you are trying to harm the church I belong to as some kind of means of vengeance against me? Puede ser?” Pablo said.
“Pablo, clearly this is a difficult moment for you. Perhaps you shouldn’t be here to see this,” said Father Joe.
“Padre, Oleg, I do not approve of taking the law into your own hands. I understand your feelings here. We have been violated by petty criminals, and I am embarrassed that my own daughter did this to get to me. But you cannot keep them here and abuse them so. There is a process to this, even in these times. You must release these two and turn them over to the authorities. Press full charges if you wish. I would not blame you. But you cannot keep them here like this,” Pablo said.
“Pablo,” Oleg began.
“Is absolutely right, Oleg,” said Father Joe.
“What?” said Oleg. “Nyet, Father.”
“No, he is right. We cannot keep the girls here. Then we become criminals too. Pablo, I will have Oleg take them to the police station as you wish,” said Father Joe.
“Father,” Oleg said.
“It’s the only way, Oleg. Now, do what you are paid to do, and take these girls where they belong,” he said, getting firm eye contact with the Russian. Oleg almost allowed a smile to crack his lips.
“Very well, Father,” he said. “As you wish. But I recommend keeping them tied until we get there. They are capable of escaping, and they have already assaulted me as you can see,” he said, lifting his pants and showing a bleeding bruise on his shin.
“Díos mío, Oleg. Who did that?” said Pablo.
“The other one. Not your daughter. It surprisingly hurt. After that, Pablo, I’m sorry, but I lost my temper and slapped her. That is when you walked in,” Oleg said.
“Oh my God,” said Morgan. “This is crazy. They are the ones assaulting us. We’re not thieves.”
“Then what were you doing here?” said Father Joe.
Silence. The girls looked at each other and could not muster an answer.
“Thieves, vandals, spies or all of the above. If you weren’t stealing, destroying, or spying, then tell me, ladies. What was it you were doing? Hmm?” asked Father Joe forcefully.
The girls said nothing.
“As I thought. Very well, Oleg. Put them in the van. Pablo, at the very least, I will press the police to charge them with breaking and entering as well as trespassing, unless I find out that something is indeed missing, and then I will add theft. You are the father of one of these girls, and I owe you the question at least: Do you wish to go with them?”
Pablo took a breath and furrowed his brow for a moment.
“I don’t want to press you, my friend, but my assumption, based on what I know of you and your current status with your daughter, is that you won’t want to accompany her to the police station. Is that correct?” said Father Joe.
Pablo rested his hand on his mouth in a thinking position.
A trickle of sweat beaded on Father Joe’s forehead.
“Pablo?”
“I’m thinking, Padre. There’s a lot riding on this decision.”
More than you know, Señor, thought Father Joe.
CHAPTER 13
We were in the fucking brig.
I’m guessing that’s what it was. I’m not really sure what the military terms are, to be honest. Is it only a brig on a ship? Or is it all military? And if it is all military, does it count here, where some people work who might not be military? I don’t know. But we were in jail. Wendy, the boys and I were in one cell. They had Jake someplace else nearby. I knew because I could hear them yelling at each other. There were some things I caught. But you’re not a marine any more was one of them. I don’t give a god damn whether you earned a medal or not was another. You physically assaulted four people was yelled several times. I also heard Jake comment on how tough the guards must have been if he could take four of them unarmed after paddling two miles down a river. That one actually made us all laugh, mostly because we knew how much it would piss off the interrogators.
You know how this fucking works I heard from Jake at least twice. Then one more you’re not in a position to bargain from the interrogators. And finally, the one I heard loudest and last:
“I’m not budging until I see Colonel Ray Cannaveral,” said Jake.
“Sir?” asked one of the men in the office.
“Get him,” said the lead interrogator.
We waited for another ten minutes or so, and they brought Jake into the larger cell with us.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Are you alright?” asked Wendy.
“You are a fucking idiot,” said Tommy.
“Yeah, not sure what you were thinking, Dad,” said Vinny.
“What were you thinking?” I asked him.
“They’re getting the Colonel,” said Jake.
“That’s not the point,” said Tommy.
“Yes, it is the point, boy. It’s the only point. I know you think you know everything about how the military works after three years at VMI, but you don’t. We would have gotten nowhere standing there with our thumbs up our asses. The government is the master of stalling. They have the time, the means, the money and the personnel to not give a shit about your problems. I know I probably looked unhinged out there, and God knows I’ll have to answer for assaulting soldiers, but I got their attention, didn’t I?”
“Seems that’s all you want, is attention,” said Vinny.
“I got the kind of attention that put me in a position to actually speak to the Colonel,” said Jake.
“You endangered the entire mission with that bullshit,” said Tommy.
“There IS no mission without the Colonel. Don’t you understand? Even if we could find your mother, and even if we could find a way to capture her, and if we manage to avoid dying of Ebola, what the fuck do you think we’re going to do with her then? Take her home? Throw her in a canoe or on a horse? Have you thought your way past your own feelings? Do you think you’re just going to run into her arms and her motherly instincts are gonna make the affects of the Russians’ radioactive weapon just melt away?”
The boys looked at their father with teary eyes and absolute fury.
“You son of a bitch,” Tommy said, rising and walking towards his father.
“Hold on,” said Vinny, wiping a tear. “He’s got a point.”
“I don’t care. He’s an asshole,” said Tommy, about to rush Jake. Vinny intervened and grabbed him.
“Tommy, he’s right. We need the Colonel if we want to make this work,” said Vinny.
“Get your goddamn hands off me,” said Tommy, forcefully shoving Vinny back against the wall.
“Hey!” yelled Jake.
“You fucker,” yelled Vinny, charging his brother. The two grabbed each other and began wrestling viciously, each momentarily breaking a hold to try and get in a punch, then returning to grapple one another.
“Stop it,” yelled Jake. “Both of you!” They continued, and Jake yelled, “last warning!” Neither relented, so Jake went up to them, reached around and grabbed each of their chins, then lifted, twisted, and pulled their heads back and around away from each other, like a rider yanking on a horse’s reins. The result was that they let go and then charged their father simultaneously. The three of them landed in a heap in a giant violent scrum on the floor. Each boy got in punches on their father’s face before Jake reached and grabbed handfuls of hair on the back of each boy’s head. This was harder with Tommy, who was used to the high-and-tight style haircut of VMI, but there was enough on the top that allowed his father to get just enough purchase to pull both of their heads back. They hollered as they fought the move, then Jake switched directions and mashed both of their faces together. There was a small thud, then Jake slid away backwards after one more face-shove on each of them. He was able to scurry away and get to his feet just as they did.
“Jesus, that is enough!” I yelled. “Stop it, every one of you! Are you insane? Quit fighting each other. Can’t you three drop your personal baggage long enough to get your shit together and save Laura? Because we need all three of you with your shit together. All of you.”
All three stopped for a moment. All we could hear was the three of them panting.
“Tommy, your father is right about the plan. And his methods may be random and unorthodox, sometimes even outright stupid, but they work.”
“Well, they,” Tommy started.
“Shut up. This isn’t a conversation. It’s a lecture.” Tommy bit his lip, frowned, and nodded. “Actually it’s three lectures,” I said, and turned to Vinny. “Vinny, your brother is allowed to voice his opinion, and though it’s noble to defend your father, as you can see, he can defend himself.”
Vinny looked down at the ground and nodded. Jake puffed out his chest in a look of satisfaction.
“And you, Jake. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it. In the end, we’re talking about the boy’s mother. Would you be so callous if this was your mother we were rescuing? Use some fucking consideration,” I said.
All three of them frowned, looked at the ground, and nodded. It was like we were watching three versions of the same person. Wendy raised here eyebrows and looked at me wide-eyed.
“Nicely done,” said Wendy.
“Sassy gay thing. We always get the mic drop,” I said.
“No argument,” she said.
Just then we heard a heavy door open and slam and some loud voices in the room beside ours. One of them was familiar.
“I don’t care what a mess he made. You people don’t understand what kind of vital stuff I’m working on right now. This is literally saving-the-country kind of stuff, gentlemen. I can’t stop that every time some whack job comes in and assaults some of your guards. It’s bad enough I have to do this without my partner because you idiots on the interstate roadblock don’t seem to understand what vital means or how to recognize a superior officer when they see one. Now where are these people?” the voice said, busting open the door to our cell room.
“Oh my goodness,” said Colonel Cannaveral.
“One research partner, reporting for duty,” said Wendy.
“One violent whack job, also reporting for duty, sir,” said Jake.
“One sassy gay mic-dropper and two obstreperous sons of the whack job, also reporting,” I said.
The Colonel smiled.
“Wow, you’re all here? How did you get here?” he asked.
“Long story. Good story, though. Horses, stolen boats, lobby fights,” I said.
“Sergeant, release these people on my authority,” said the Colonel.
“Whoa there, Colonel. There’s the little matter about this man assaulting four of my guards,” said an officer whose nameplate I couldn’t see from the cell.
“Lieutenant, you remember the part about ‘my authority,’ don’t you?” said Col. Cannaveral.
“Your authority or not sir, this needs to be addressed,” said the lieutenant.
“I’ll apologize,” said Jake.
“What?” said the lieutenant.
“I will happily apologize. The whole thing was a stunt to get past the red tape to see Col. Cannaveral. It worked, thankfully, but those guys had to suffer for it, and I’m sorry for that. I’d like to speak to them if I might. If things weren’t in such a state of emergency here, I’d gladly sit in this cell to pay my debt, but as it stands, we can’t. So I’d at least like to try and make good with those gentlemen,” said Jake.
The apology caught the lieutenant completely by surprise.
“Well, I don’t know,” he said.
“Bring them in here,” said the Colonel.
“What?” asked the lieutenant.
“Swap them out for a couple of these guys for just a minute. Let Jake speak to them. Then we’ll see what they say,” said the Colonel.
“Sir this is highly irregular,” said the lieutenant.
“More irregular than a World War?” asked the Colonel. The lieutenant frowned.
�
��You four,” said the lieutenant. “Go relieve the men in the lobby for five minutes. Send them here on my orders.” Four armed guards left the cell room and went into the lobby.
“Now get these people out of here,” said the Colonel.
The lieutenant unlocked the cell and all five of us exited and went into an outer office where everyone had been standing before. The four guards in the front of the building who had initially halted our advance walked in the room. They looked a little confused to see us all out of the cell and standing in the room waiting. Jake moved forward.
“Gentlemen, I owe you an apology. I had what I believe to be a matter of national security that I needed to consult with Colonel Cannaveral about. It is time-sensitive and crucial, and when we were stalled in the lobby, I feared we might never get the chance unless I did something drastic. It was a gamble that thankfully worked. But you all had to pay the price, and I’m sorry,” Jake said.
The lieutenant’s face was unreadable, but the guards’ demeanor changed visibly.
“I hope there are no hard feelings,” said Jake, reaching out his hand to shake theirs.
Three of the four guards looked pleasantly surprised. The each shook his hand in turn.
The fourth, in contrast, was not as forgiving. “Permission to speak freely, sir?” the fourth guard asked the lieutenant.
“Permission granted,” said the lieutenant. The fourth guard turned to his three colleagues.
“Easy for you all to say, he didn’t slug you. You all got tackled. Saw it coming and everything. He just beat you guys, and then got caught. Me? He sucker-punched me. I think it was cowardly. I’d like to see how tough this guy is when he isn’t sucker punching somebody,” said Guard number four.
“Soldier, this isn’t a pissing contest. I did sucker punch you, and I’m sorry you had to pay the price for my plan,” said Jake, holding out his hand.
“Fuck you,” said the guard. “I’m gonna have a black eye for this. You should let me slug you back.”
“Absolutely not,” said the Colonel.
“Soldier,” began the lieutenant.
“No, sirs. I totally understand his position,” said Jake. “If I were in the same position, I’d want to regain my honor as well. If it’ll mend the fence, I’m fine with it.”