by Megan Hart
“We’ll figure this out.” It was what she’d always told her boys whenever they faced a problem they couldn’t immediately solve. It seemed to be the right answer now, too.
Nick’s fingers tightened in the hair at his temples and he answered in a muffled voice. “There’s nothing to figure out, Bess. I can’t leave. If I try, it kills me all over again.”
She didn’t think he knew he’d started to vanish in front of her eyes. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to know. “I’m sorry.”
He pulled his face from his hands to look at her. “Are you? Really?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her retort stung her tongue.
“I think you know what the fuck it means.”
She refused to blanch at his language or his anger. Besides, she knew, even if he didn’t or wouldn’t admit it. “Of course I don’t want you to leave. But if you’re saying I’m happy that you can’t go beyond the beach—”
“You don’t want me to leave,” he said in a low voice, without looking at her. “I get it. I know, Bess.”
She was not the one who’d done this…was she? She would never have wished him pain. Her voice, when it came, sounded faraway. “I’m sorry it hurt you.”
He shrugged wordlessly. She put her head on his shoulder. Nick stiffened at that but relaxed a moment later. Bess felt a small but certain victory when he turned to her, put his arms around her and buried his face in the side of her neck. When he kissed her mouth.
When he told her he didn’t want to leave her, anyway.
CHAPTER 24
Then
The next time Nick had a party, he seemed to think there was no question about Bess attending when he showed up at Sugarland to tell her about it. And, in fact, there wasn’t any question in Bess’s mind, though apparently Missy had a few.
She was there, eating a soft pretzel dipped in mustard, when Nick came in. He tossed a few words her way, but unlike the one he gave Brian and Bess, his invitation to Missy was less than enthusiastic. He even called back to Eddie, though everyone knew Eddie didn’t go to parties. Then Nick winked at Bess, flipped Brian the finger and sauntered out, leaving the shop desolately empty.
Brian fanned his face. “Damn, that boy makes a sex vacuum wherever he goes.”
Bess laughed. “A what?”
Missy glared. “If you’re saying Nick Hamilton sucks, Brian, you’re right.”
“Don’t I wish,” Brian declared with a simper. “But what I meant, Miss I’m-Not-Queen-of-the-Science-Fair, was that he makes a sex vacuum—you know. An empty space. He sucks all the sex right out of the room when he goes… Oh, forget it.” Disgusted, Brian stomped into the back room.
Bess’s grin faded as she turned to Missy. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing’s the matter with me. But don’t you think Andy might have a problem?”
“Andy’s none of your business.” Bess wiped down the tables and ignored her.
“I can’t believe you’re going to dump your boyfriend for a fling with Nick the Prick, that’s all.” Missy’s softened tone didn’t lend any sincerity to her words.
Bess straightened and fixed the other girl with a steady gaze. “Don’t call him that.”
“What, Nick the Prick? How about Nick the Dick?”
“I refuse to discuss this with you.” Bess went back around the counter to rinse out the washcloth.
“You’ll see. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Missy hopped off the high stool to toss her trash. “Nick fucks around. He fucked around on Heather—”
“First of all,” Bess interrupted, “I’m not Heather.”
She didn’t expand on that, just allowed Missy to figure out the comparison.
“Second,” she continued, “he’s not my boyfriend. I’m not his girlfriend. What we’re doing isn’t anyone’s business but ours, and it’s between us, okay? Third, he says Heather cheated on him.”
Missy flipped her hair back over one shoulder. “Well…”
“Yeah. Well.” Bess rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Missy. Really. Lay off. Just because you’re jealous—”
Missy gaped, then flushed, then tossed her hair again. “Oh, right!”
Bess glared. Missy glared. Missy looked away first.
“Whatever,” she muttered. “He’s a prick and you’re my friend. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Nobody’s going to get hurt, Missy.”
Missy stepped aside to allow a pack of ice-cream-addicted zombies get to the counter, and by the time Bess had finished waiting on them, she had gone.
Bess took more care with her hair and makeup and clothes for this party. She even put on matching underwear, a pretty emerald-green satin set she’d bought herself for her birthday.
“You look pretty.” Benji, her cousin Danielle’s oldest son, poked his head into the laundry room. With just a sink, mirror and toilet it wasn’t as nice as a fully equipped bathroom, but it was private. Mostly.
“Thanks.” Bess touched up her eyeliner, a smoky gray that made her eyes look much bluer. She glanced at Benji, who wore a pair of Spiderman pj’s and had chocolate fudge smeared at the corners of his lips. “What are you guys doing?”
“Mama and Daddy said we have to go to bed.” The affront he felt was clear.
Bess smiled as she smoothed gloss over her lips. “You’d better listen to your mama and daddy then.”
“Do you have a boyfriend, Bess?”
She capped her gloss and tumbled her scant makeup sup plies back into their bag, then turned to look at her small relative. “Sort of.”
He laughed. “Gross!”
She ruffled his hair. “Someday, Benji, you’re going to have so many girlfriends you won’t know what to do with them.”
He squinched up his face. “Why won’t I know what to do with ’em?”
Good question. “Trust me,” Bess said. “You’ll see.”
Déjà vu struck her as she biked to Nick’s place, but it faded as soon as she went inside his apartment. This party was like a night at the opera compared to the bass-thumping, booze-riddled bash of last time. Bess saw a couple familiar faces, Brian, Missy and Ryan among them, but the other few guests were strangers.
Nick greeted her at the door. “C’mon in.”
“Wow. You have real food?” She looked at the kitchen table, set with a platter of subs and a few bowls of chips.
Nick laughed. “Yeah. Hungry?”
She was starving, actually, but felt shy at first about helping herself. Nick led her to the table and filled her plate with food. She stared at him across the table as he layered chips on top of the sub.
He caught her looking and grinned. The moment broke a second later when most everyone else from the living room pushed into the kitchen, which wasn’t big enough for them all.
They ate, they laughed, they played an ancient game of Trivial Pursuit. The drinking was kept to a minimum. It took Bess until halfway through the game to realize this was a couples party. She counted mentally, blanking out the sound of Missy asking another girl a question about the Soviet Union. One boy for every girl. Or in Brian’s case, one boy.
She was Nick’s date at his own party.
For some reason this caused her palms to sweat and her lips refuse to do anything but smile. She didn’t win Trivial Pursuit. She also didn’t care.
The party ended earlier than the other had, too, at some hour late enough to officially be morning, but which still felt like the middle of the night. Nick waved goodbye to the last of his friends, then shut the door and turned to look at Bess, still sitting by the coffee table.
“I’ll help you clean up,” she offered. It wouldn’t take long, and she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t know how else to suggest she could stay.
Nick didn’t turn down her offer, but pulled out a bag of white bread from his fridge and popped some into the toaster. “Want some toast?”
“Are you still hungry?” Bess couldn’t have eaten a thing.
He hopped up on the counter, his feet dangling. “Yeah.”
Bess leaned against the counter directly opposite him. His kitchen was so small his foot brushed the bottom of her denim shorts. When the toast popped, he pulled out one piece and crunched it, dry.
“Toast smells like sex,” he said from around a mouthful of crumbs.
Bess laughed. “What?”
Nick wafted the slice in front of her face. “Doesn’t it?”
“If you say so.”
He finished the piece and didn’t eat the other. Bess leaned to brush some crumbs from his lips. Tension as thick as honey swirled between them.
She’d been bold before, but despite Bess’s scoffing Missy’s warning still rang in her head. She wanted to step between his legs and pull him down to her for a kiss, but hesitated.
Nick’s eyes gleamed. “Sure you don’t want any toast?”
“I don’t want toast.” Surely she didn’t have to spell it out?
“Really.” He cradled his elbow in one hand and used the other to tap his chin. “What could you possibly want, instead?”
She laughed and moved closer. “It’s no fun if you don’t want it, too.”
“If I don’t want it, I’ll make sure you know.”
Encouraged, she stood on her tiptoes to offer her mouth, but Nick put a hand on her shoulder. The gesture was subtle, but there was no doubt he was pushing her away.
Bess took a step back, the smile sliding from her face. “No?”
Nick was off the counter and guiding her backward before she had time to ask again. Three steps took them through his bedroom door, which he kicked shut. She was on the bed with him on top of her one second after that.
His mouth fastened on her throat as his hands started on her shirt. Bess spent less than a minute stunned into passivity before lifting her arms so he could pull off her shirt. They were both naked in moments.
She took him in her hand and stroked. Nick shuddered against her neck, his fingers sliding between her legs. He hissed a little when he found her wet and ready. More than ready. He pressed his finger to her clit, and Bess cooed with pleasure.
Nick reached in the drawer for a condom and gave it to her. She stared at it for a second, then at him.
“You put it on. I’ll help you.” He dropped his hand over hers and moved it up and down his erection. He bit his lip when she palmed the head and twisted on the downstroke.
“I’ve done this before,” Bess whispered, with another laugh.
“Still helping.” Nick’s voice had gone husky. He took her other hand, the one with the condom, and positioned at his prick so the latex ring settled around the head. Then, together, his hand over hers, they unrolled it all the way down.
Bess stared, mouth dry, the sight more erotic than she’d ever have expected. Each motion, every movement, seemed like almost too much to endure. This simple act, sheathing him so he could go inside her…inside her!
Her nipples throbbed, hard and tight. Heat swelled in her belly and her cheeks and along the column of her throat. Bess looked at Nick as he leaned back on the pillows, then she took her hand off his cock.
She dropped onto her hands and knees beside him, then flipped onto her back. “This way.”
Nick rolled on top of her and guided himself inside her. He pushed himself up on his hands to look down into her eyes. He moved, and she moved with him.
She caught her breath at the pleasure as they rocked, getting closer. “Say my name.”
Nick blinked and shook his head minutely. “I won’t…”
“You will,” she breathed.
The corners of his eyes tightened, and so did his mouth as he fought against doing what she asked. She tilted her hips, taking him in deeper. He didn’t look away from her eyes, and in that moment, just before he gave her what she wanted, she felt somehow she’d won something precious.
Her name whispered out of him, low and hoarse, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he came. She followed at once, her body tightening around him, but she didn’t look away. Later, condom disposed of and visits to the bathroom taken care of, she lay next to him, sharing a pillow and staring at his ceiling.
“Are you going to tell him?” Nick asked quietly.
“I don’t think so.”
Nick shifted. “Pretty ironic, don’t you think?”
She looked at him. “What?”
He gazed at her. “That you’re the first girl I’ve really wanted to be with in a long time, and you have a boyfriend.”
“Sort of,” she said, unable to hide her smile.
Nick didn’t smile. “Listen. I can’t promise you I’ll be with you forever or anything like that—”
She sat up. “I don’t expect you to.”
Nick sat, too. “But I can promise you you’re the only girl I’m fucking right now.”
Bess blinked rapidly, surprised and pleased and scared. “I’m not sleeping with anyone else, either.”
Nick grinned. “No?”
“I broke up with him.” She smiled, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. Andy didn’t know it, maybe, but she did.
“So you have lots of time then. To spend with me.” Nick slid a hand up her thigh.
“Yes. I guess I do.”
“Good,” he said, as if they’d settled something important.
Bess wasn’t sure exactly what it was.
CHAPTER 25
Now
For the first time in nineteen years, Bess had opened up her own checking account. It hadn’t taken long. Half an hour at the bank and another fifteen minutes at home to set up the new account on her laptop’s accounting software program. She should’ve felt empowered, or at least reassured by the numbers in the columns, but as she stared at this, one more proof of how her life was changing, all she felt was sad.
“What’s up?” Nick leaned over her shoulder to stare at the screen, but kissed her cheek and moved away before she could comment. “Put that away and come to bed.”
“We just got out of bed,” she murmured. Her fingers stroked the keys, scrolling through the numbers in the columns. She’d entered her projected bills for the next few months. “I’m going to have to get a job.”
She looked at Nick, who’d gone to look out the sliding-glass doors. He glanced over his shoulder at her, then turned. Bess shut down her program and closed the laptop.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “I guess I’m not going to be much help, there.”
She didn’t point out that it wasn’t as though he was going to cost her a lot, either. “I’m not worried about that.”
He gave her a half nod and looked back out through the glass. “What sort of job do you want to get?”
Bess laughed a little. “I’ve been thinking about it, actually. I’ve had an offer.”
“Yeah?” Nick glanced again over his shoulder. “From where?”
“Eddie. We came up with a great idea for a new shop and…I think I’m going to tell him I’m interested.” She hadn’t been positive she meant it until she heard herself say so, but once the words came out Bess knew it was the right decision.
Now Nick turned, hands on his hips and face pulled into a scowl. “What sort of shop? With Eddie? That—”
Bess gave him a warning look, and he stopped. “Eddie’s a business owner, Nick. He bought Sugarland. He’s got the experience to run a shop, and we decided this was something new and unique. Not just another popcorn palace.”
Nick’s mouth worked, but he looked away without saying anything. He was jealous, Bess realized, and couldn’t help but smile. She went to him and slipped her arms around his waist. Her cheek pressed sweetly between his shoulder blades. She breathed in and out against his warmth.
“It’s just a job,” she whispered.
“He’s in love with you,” Nick said, not whispering.
“Oh…no, he’s not.” Bess sighed. “That was a long time ago.”
“Not to me,” Nick told her, not moving.
She turned him gently until he faced her. “It was a long time ago.”
He frowned, then sighed, then shrugged and tucked her against his chest. “Fine. If it’s what you want to do.”
She didn’t need his permission, but she didn’t point that out, either. “I think I want to give it a try, Nick. It’s a great idea, and if we can get it off the ground, it’ll be better than working for someone else.”
He stroked a hand over her hair. “I don’t want you to work. I want you to stay here with me all day long and never get out of bed.”
“Oh, wouldn’t that be nice?” She laughed. “Too bad this is real life.”
She heard a smile in his voice. “Yeah. Too bad.”
Bess tipped her head back to look at him. “I want to go talk to Eddie. Tell him I’d like to go ahead with the idea. Will you be all right for a while?”
Darkness flashed in his eyes for just a second. “Sure.”
“I don’t have to go now….”
“No.” He shook his head. “You do have to go. You can’t stay here all the time. I’ll be okay. I’ll watch a movie or something. No big deal.”
“Are you sure?” Yet she couldn’t pretend she wasn’t itching to get out of the house for a little while. The ideas for Just A Bite were beginning to bubble up and up, and she wanted to talk to Eddie about them. “I won’t be long.”
“I said I’ll be fine,” Nick snapped, and pushed her out of his arms so he could stalk to the couch, where he stabbed the remote with one finger and turned on the sports channel.
“Fine.” Bess refused to argue with him. “Can I get you anything while I’m out?”
“No.”
She didn’t push him further, just went into the bedroom and dressed quickly. She made sure to check for marks, too, but found none that anyone would be able to see. She pulled her hair into a topknot, grabbed her purse and paused to kiss Nick as she left.
“I’ll be back soon,” she said.
“Take your time.” He didn’t make it sound like a generous offer.
Bess bent to kiss him again. “I will think of you every second I’m gone.”