Hexes and Exes

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Hexes and Exes Page 29

by Sarina Dorie


  “Wow,” he said and looked at his solid hand in surprise. “I feel full of magic.”

  I didn’t. I felt sleepy and exhausted. I was so happy and peaceful, there was nothing I wanted more than to cuddle in his arms and sleep.

  The door rattled again. This time I felt no wind. Derrick turned to look at it. The knob shook. The latch turned.

  Bart clomped through the door, his eyes wild with lust and righteous fury.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Hell Hath No Fury Like a Unicorn Scorned

  “I got you that dragon egg you asked for.” Bart only got in as far as his head and shoulders. He shook his head from side to side. “Elfing donkule pustules! I’m too late.” He whinnied in disappointment. “Clarissa, how could you do this to me? You were supposed to be my virgin.”

  “Um. . . .” I didn’t even know where to begin. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and tell him I’d never been his.

  “You’ve become just like the rest of those unattractive sluts. You’re disgusting now. How could you do this to me? How could you do this to yourself?” He made a barfing nose.

  I fumbled to cover myself with a sheet.

  “Ahem,” Derrick said. “Clarissa was doing a good deed by losing her virginity. She was saving you from losing yours, and thus ensuring you remained a magical creature of innocence and virtue.”

  Bart tossed back his hair, eyes narrowing at Derrick as if just noticing him. “Who the hell are you?”

  “The invisible man.”

  “You don’t look invisible to me.”

  Derrick looked down at himself. “Funny thing about that. I’m not anymore. . . .”

  “Let me guess, you were invisible before you deflowered my fair and sweet beauty, but then it all changed after you had your way with her.” Bart clomped his hooves, straining as he tried to enter the room, but he couldn’t get in past the door with his big hips. “Well, virgin blood can be pretty powerful. Almost as much as unicorn horns and dragon eggs. It can even cure some curses.” He groaned, backed out, and tried again.

  Those were all ingredients in Thatch’s spell that he’d said he needed to cure Derrick. I wondered if my virgin’s blood might have lifted Derrick’s curse.

  Bart grunted and groaned.

  “Bart, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out this way,” I said.

  Tears glistened in his eyes. He tossed back his head. “Yeah, whatever.”

  “I hope we can still be friends.”

  “I’m not friends with sluts, so it’s unlikely.” He backed up a step.

  “Bart,” I said slowly, embracing my inner Vega. “I told you to stop saying that word to people. You are rude and insensitive. Do you know why I didn’t want to be with you?”

  “Besides the fact that you aren’t into bestiality?” Derrick muttered.

  “Because you are a jerk,” I said. “All you do is talk about me—and other women—like we’re sex objects without any value unless we’re pure enough for you. Well, you know what? I’m glad you aren’t interested in me anymore because maybe you’ll see me as a human being instead of a human pet that you can possess.” It felt good to get it out. I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. What a relief to tell the truth!

  “Oh, snap! That is harsh.” Bart stared with wide eyes. “Well, you know what? I don’t have to take this kind of abuse.” He backed away.

  Derrick strode across the room and moved to close the door, giving me a nice view of his muscular backside. I hadn’t realized how attractive he was when he’d been invisible.

  Bart poked his muzzle back through the door. “Just to be clear. . . . If I do decide to take this kind of abuse, I’ll let you know.” He backed away.

  Derrick started to close the door, but Bart shoved his muzzle through again before he could do so. “I usually don’t have nonvirgins as friends, and I’m not going to go out of my way to talk to you, but if you’re in the forest and you happen by the Singing Stallions and have sugar cubes in your pocket, I probably wouldn’t refuse them. But I’m keeping the dragon egg.”

  “Right,” I said. As if I needed it now.

  He clomped out. Derrick closed the door and turned the latch to lock it.

  “Now, where were we?” he asked.

  “Cuddling.”

  He crawled under the covers, hugging me to his side.

  I rested my head against his chest. “Did I break your curse?”

  He was silent a long moment, his brow furrowed as he considered it. “Oh my God, you do love me, don’t you?”

  I nodded.

  “And I love you?” He asked it as a question, laughed, and then answered himself. “I do! I’m head over heels in love with you. I’ve loved you for years. This is why you seemed so familiar to me. It wasn’t my imagination. I remember everything.” He took my face in his hands, staring into my eyes. “I loved you as Derrick Winslow, and I loved you as Invismo.”

  I did my best for an impression of Dumbledore’s voice. “‘After all this time, Severus?’”

  “Shush, you Harry Potter nerd.” He pressed a finger to my lips.

  “Just say the line and make me happy,” I laughed. “I know you know it too, dork breath.”

  “‘Always.’” He kissed me.

  Love and magic. I finally had both. I could have died happy.

  Almost.

  “How did you lose your memories?” I asked. “Who stole them? The Raven Queen? Thatch?”

  He sighed. “That’s a long story. Can’t we just savor this moment for a little bit longer before I have to think about the real world again?”

  I snuggled closer and decided the answers to those questions could wait for another day.

  THE END

  Excerpt from

  Reading, Writing and Necromancy

  Sequel to Hexes and Exes

  CHAPTER ONE

  The Morning After

  Golden sunlight filtered in through a window, but I turned away, not wanting to leave the sanctuary of sleep. A draft of wintry air chilled my naked skin, and I pulled the covers up to my chin. I’d been dreaming of curses cured by magic, unrequited yearning finally satisfied, and true love.

  A masculine arm slipped around my waist, reminding me I wasn’t alone. Derrick pulled me closer. He smoothed my hair away from my face and kissed the back of my neck.

  A wave of déjà vu washed over me. Was I dreaming? This was always the nice part of the dream. It never lasted. I wanted to savor this moment, but I couldn’t. This happy dream always shifted into a nightmare. It never ended well. I blinked the cobwebs of sleep from my eyes, my apprehension growing.

  “Clarissa, this is how I always imagined it would be,” Derrick murmured into my hair.

  That was always the kind of thing he said in dreams before the tornado came that stole him away from me. That storm always mirrored what had happened in real life when our magic had exploded, causing the house to collapse and taking the life of my sister.

  Something was different this time. I examined the room around me. Paintings, tubes of acrylics and oils, and assorted art supplies filled the small studio. Across from the bed, a sweater and a canvas hid most of the full-length mirror I’d hidden the night before. A painting of me rested against a trunk. It was a younger version of myself with auburn hair with blonde highlights instead of the hot pink I sported now.

  This wasn’t my childhood room. I wasn’t dreaming. This was real. Derrick was here and with me.

  I sat up, clutching the blankets to my chest. I gulped in air, not realizing I’d been holding my breath. For once, everything was right.

  “What’s wrong?” Derrick asked. “Are you all right?”

  I took in his tussled blue hair and his five-o-clock shadow. His brow crinkled up in concern.

  I threw my arms around him and hugged him. “I didn’t kill you with my magic.” I covered his face with kisses. No tornado had come this time. I had controlled my powers.

  He laughed in the same good-natured way I r
emembered from our teenage years. “That’s right. You cured me. Your kisses are magic, just like in fairy tales.”

  I was pretty sure it was more than kisses that had cured him.

  It all seemed too good to be true. I stared into the azure of his eyes, feeling like I was falling into a cloudless sky. “How is it possible I cured you unintentionally? Thatch said I had to perform an elaborate spell.”

  “Why do you have to bring him up?” he groaned. “He’s such an asshole.”

  “Don’t say that. Felix Thatch is my friend, and he was trying to help you. He made me collect all those things—virgin tears and unicorn poo—” And a few other more disgusting items.

  I hadn’t used a dragon egg or unicorn horn to cure Derrick. The only ingredient that might count was my own virgin blood combined with my affinity. “But I didn’t need any of those things. You aren’t invisible. You remember me, and you aren’t cursed.”

  Derrick reached across me and fumbled with something under the bed. “Is that why you let him tie you to a tree in the forest? For unicorn excrement?” He found a half-full bottle of cola.

  I took it he didn’t know about the unicorn semen.

  I nodded. “We were gathering ingredients for a potion. It was to cure you. I had to be bait to lure a unicorn.”

  “That is so messed up.” Derrick took a swig from the soda and offered it to me. “Have you ever considered there wasn’t a spell? He might have been giving you busywork because he’s trying to distract you?”

  “I’m pretty sure he had a spell in mind.” I wasn’t typically a cola drinker for breakfast, but Derrick didn’t have running water in his room or much else. I took a few tentative sips.

  “Think about it. If I hadn’t been there to stop those chimeras, they would have eaten you,” he said. “That jerk just left you there.”

  “He said he’d put up wards to protect me. But I wouldn’t feel the fear needed to lure the chimeras, which would call the unicorns, if I didn’t believe I was in actual danger.”

  “Clarissa, there weren’t any wards.” Derrick frowned. “That’s why I intervened.”

  Derrick had always been a bit of a kidder. I wanted to believe his words were a joke, but he was so serious. It had been Derrick I’d kissed in the darkness that night, not Thatch. Derrick who had rescued me. Thatch had put me in actual danger—and lied about it afterward? A spark of anger flared in me. “As Josie would say, what a bag of dicks.”

  Derrick fell back laughing.

  I could have gotten killed gathering ingredients to save Derrick. I had no doubt Thatch was collecting all those ingredients for a reason. It just happened I didn’t know what that reason was. I no longer felt certain of Thatch’s intentions. Some of those ingredients had been listed in the spell at the back of Alouette Loraline’s journal. It was possible Thatch might have decided to try to solve the Fae Fertility Paradox with the spell I hadn’t finished decoding in the book.

  He’d chided me for trying to investigate something so dangerous, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he intended to do the same thing.

  “Uh-oh,” Derrick said, kissing the crinkle in my brow. “I know that look.”

  “What look?”

  “The one you make before you get yourself in a heap of trouble.” Derrick squeezed me to him.

  I wanted to stay snuggled in his arms and talk to him about my suspicions, but my bladder was full, and I was thirsty for more than carbonated corn syrup.

  “Do you have a restroom nearby?” I asked.

  He jabbed a thumb toward the door. “I usually use the bushes around the back. Of course, I’m also usually invisible when I use them. Otherwise, the nearest indoor restroom is down the hall of spiderwebs toward the great hall.”

  My stomach grumbled. “I should go get something to eat and drink.”

  “What time is it?” he asked.

  I poked him in the side. “I don’t know. Someone confiscated my cell phone.”

  “Sorry about that. It’s part of my job. Thatch wanted me to keep an eye on you and make sure you didn’t do anything that got yourself kicked out of the school. He was adamant about me confiscating your phone. I turned it in to Mr. Khaba—but don’t worry. I didn’t say the cell was yours. He thought it was a student’s.” He stared off into the distance, brow furrowing.

  “Now that you’re my boyfriend, can’t you just steal it back for me?”

  “Boyfriend?” He blinked in surprise.

  From his wide eyes, my confidence faltered. “I mean—well—we were dating before, when we were in high school. And now we’ve slept together so . . . um. . . .”

  “We went on one date when we were in high school and kissed twice since then.” His lips twitched into an amused smirk. “Do you assume you’re dating everyone you sleep with?”

  “Yes.” Not that my magic made it easy to sleep with men. “I mean, no. I don’t have a lot of experience with dating, and I don’t know the right lingo. I haven’t ever. . . .” I swallowed. Nervous anxiety churned inside me.

  His grin widened, and he kissed my nose. “I know. I’m your first. I was just teasing you.” His smile turned shy. “But I hope you’ll want to be my girlfriend.”

  I squeezed his hand, relieved he felt the same way. “Yes. I want you to be my boyfriend. I’ve wanted that since we were in high school.”

  “Good.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. He pulled me closer, peeking under the blankets and waggling his eyebrows. “Maybe we should make up for some of that lost time we weren’t together?”

  I shook my head. “Don’t even think about it. I need to eat and shower and powder my nose.” I wiggled toward the edge of the bed.

  He poked me in the side. “I have a feeling that isn’t what you’re going to be powdering.”

  I hesitated at the edge of the bed, a spike of anxiety shooting through me at the idea of exposing myself. Last night had been the first time he’d seen me naked—the only time anyone had seen me completely naked. I’d felt comfortable and confident—or at least not awkward like I was now.

  “I, um, would you. . . ?” Words suddenly eluded me. I motioned for him to turn, like I was fifteen again and tongue-tied. Now I was twenty-two and tongue-tied. I worried he would think I was a prude or immature or weird.

  Derrick winked at me and turned away. “Anything for you.”

  That was it. No complaints or teasing. He knew me that well. Derrick was the perfect gentleman I’d remembered. I collected my bra and underwear from the floor and hurriedly dressed.

  Derrick remained facing the window. “While you’re out, do you think you could bring me something to eat and some clothes?” He gestured to the pair of underwear on the floor and a coat hanging over the side of the foot of his bed. “Believe it or not, these are all the clothes I’ve got. An invisible man with a heat-conducting spell doesn’t need much else. It might look a little weird if I walk around naked now that people can see me.”

  I laughed so hard my bladder almost burst. “Breakfast in bed it is.” I jammed one foot into a striped legging, trying not to lose my balance.

  Derrick ran a hand through his blue hair. “I wonder what Mr. Khaba is going to say about this turn of events. He’s not going to be able to employ me as an invisible security guard if I’m visible.”

  “I guess you’ll become a visible security guard.”

  “Maybe. Funny thing about that. . . . I was cursed and went to Thatch for help—or maybe he came to me. My memory is a little hazy still. I don’t remember being invisible before asking for Thatch’s help.”

  “Do you know where my shirt is?” I asked.

  He turned, but with his hand covering his eyes. I laughed at his goofy attempt to pretend he wasn’t looking at me half undressed.

  He peeked through his fingers as he scanned the room. “I got the job here because the school happened to have a vacancy for a security guard. They were specifically looking for an invisible man. And I was invisible. Thatch recommended me for the job and
told Khaba I would be a perfect fit. It’s a little too coincidental now that I think about it.”

  I spotted my pink blouse in the bed behind him. I tugged it out from under his leg and pulled it on over my head. “What are you saying? Thatch cursed you, not the Raven Queen?” I said it half jokingly, but as soon as the words came out, my mouth went dry.

  “I remember the Raven Queen. Sort of.” He shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. “She used pain magic to torture me. She drained me. Not completely, but enough that I was in so much pain I wished I was dead. Thatch was there in her castle. He watched her, and she invited him to. . . .” He traced his fingers across a scar on his arm. “Everything about him is foggy.”

  I climbed back into bed and hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s over now. You’re safe at the school. She can’t get you here.”

  “Maybe.” He grabbed me by the shoulders, fear in his eyes. “Clarissa, you’ve got to be careful around Thatch. I don’t remember what he did to me, but it wasn’t all happy rainbows and yippity-skippity rescuing. He still works for her. And she wants you.”

  For the rest of the novel, go to Sarina Dorie’s website for information about the next book in the series:

  https://sarinadorie.com/writing/novels/wombys-school-for-wayward-witches

  If you enjoyed this cozy witch mystery in the Womby’s School for Wayward Witches Series please leave a review on the online retailer where you purchased this collection. You might also enjoy free short stories published by the author on her website: http://sarinadorie.com/writing/short-stories.

  Readers can hear updates about current writing projects and news about upcoming novels and free short stories as they become available by signing up for Sarina Dorie’s newsletter at:

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  Other novels written by the author can be found at:

  http://sarinadorie.com/writing/novels

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