by Leia Stone
I jumped out from where I had been lurking and raised my katana. The three vampires who’d been talking were halfway across the growing cornfield, but two other figures were running right for me.
Wolves.
Their furry paws pounded the ground as they ran. I could see the terrified look in their eyes. We’d just come in and busted up their party and now they were running for their lives. Werewolves … creatures I knew little about because it wasn’t my job to hunt them. The other hunter factions took care of stray weres, fey, and even trolls. The witches pretty much kept to themselves and they were the hardest to fight because you couldn’t tell a witch from a human unless you caught them doing magic. As I stared at the wolves running at me, teeth bared in fear at my brandished katana, I did a gut check with myself.
Were these two wolves evil? Did they just kill a human? Not that I knew of, so why was I playing God and just expunging them from this earth because they weren’t human?
I lowered my sword and backed off to the left, allowing them to pass.
I thought of Sage and Walsh, the kind wolves who’d driven me six hours in a van to hold up my cover story while I was passed out in the back. What if these wolves were them? It was too dark to tell. I wouldn’t kill needlessly.
As the wolves darted past me, I stared at their retreating forms with shaking hands. What was I doing? What had I become?
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn’t sense the bloodsucker until it was too late. A male vampire slammed into me, taking me to the ground. I fell backward, hitting the hard-packed dirt as my katana slipped from my hand.
Okay, I wasn’t going to needlessly murder werewolves, but I would defend myself against an attack. The vampire straddled me and I pretended to go weak, allowing him to reach up and wrap his hand around my throat. Pulling my arms between us, I came up hard with the tip of the stake, stabbing him right up through the chin. He immediately let go of my throat and fell backward, reaching up to claw at the stake imbedded in his face.
I kicked out, shooting up into a fighting stance and leaning over the male, the dark moonlight casting macabre shadows across his face.
Shit.
He was barely a teenager. Maybe fifteen at the most.
He yanked the stake out of his chin as blood spurted from the wound and I stumbled backward in shock.
What was happening to me?
I … I couldn’t kill him. He was a kid.
We were all human once. Some of us didn’t ask to be changed.
Luka’s voice echoed in my head.
No.
I couldn’t do this, not right now. Mental breakdowns were for nights alone in the bathtub, not in the middle of a raid.
The kid stood and came at me, a menacing look on his face as he brandished the stake, swinging at me violently. I dodged to the left, then the right.
“Stop!” I shouted.
Pulling my other stake out, I held it before me so that we were in a dance. Each of us trying to stab the other in the chest like some vampire video game.
“Just go! I’ll let you run,” I said.
Because I’ve gone insane and Luka had infected my mind with crazy ideas.
His eyes flared with so much hatred then, I knew I was going to have to kill him to get out of this. He hated me and he wouldn’t back down, I could see that. I mean, to his credit I had just stabbed him in the face.
I stepped backward five paces. “Just let me go,” I told him, trying to find a way we could both survive this. He was a teenager, maybe even forced to be a vampire. I could no longer in good conscience mindlessly kill the bloodsuckers.
He peeled his lips back from his teeth, which were full of blood from my stab wound, and hissed. He lurched forward and I froze, readying myself for the attack.
I can’t do it. I can’t stab this kid in the heart…
A shadow passed to my left, and then Liv leapt between us, coming across the kid’s neck with her sword in one clean arc, removing his head completely.
A strangled cry left my lips as his head hit the ground with a thump.
Liv spun, wide-eyed. “What the hell, Aspen? You froze!”
My hands shook, I couldn’t breathe; the world was getting smaller, the weight of it crushing in on me.
“I … I … can’t.” I dropped my stake and turned, taking off into the night as trees blurred around me. I crossed the farm at record speed, speeds that I shouldn’t be capable of even with my DNA upgrade. I didn’t want to know why I was running so fast or what was happening to me. I was vaguely aware of Luka’s consciousness right there with me. He felt so close. Liv screamed my name but I barely heard it. I was gone, running into the night with nowhere to go, lost in the darkness of my own moral guilt.
I was a hunter of evil … but how many innocents had I murdered in my blind quest to expunge the demons? Or people who I’d thought were demons?
I ran until my legs felt like they would fall off. My lungs burned as I sucked in gulps of air. Skidding to a stop in the middle of some field, I leaned on my knees and breathed deeply. I was there for ten minutes, trying to calm down my heart and steady my breathing, when I heard the rustle of leaves.
“Are you trying to kill me, woman!?” Liv appeared out of the fields, panting and red faced. Her body was covered in vampire blood. Her sword hung at her side, snug in its scabbard.
“I can’t do this anymore, Liv.” I raked my hands through my hair. “I think … I think some of the people we’re killing are innocent.”
Liv looked like I’d shot her. She reeled back, eyes wide. “Innocent! You’ve heard the reports from Chief Baker. Rapes, murders, you’ve seen them drain humans!”
I nodded. “Once. I’ve killed over seventy vampires and I’ve seen them kill someone one time.”
Liv rolled her eyes. “What are you getting at, Aspen?”
I shrugged. “Have you ever met Chief Baker?”
Liv froze, going very still. “Aspen, you’re asking dangerous questions.”
“And you’re taking blind orders!” I shouted at my bestie, and immediately regretted it when she winced.
“I’m sorry. I’m just … losing it.” A sob ripped from my throat. “I’m totally losing my mind.”
Liv’s face morphed into an angry scowl. “This is what happens when you play with the devil, Aspen. You’re feeding a vampire. You’re keeping him alive. And it’s changing you.”
I chewed on my lip. “Did you ever think about how vampires were all human like us once? That some of them might not have wanted to become what they are? That they’re just feeding on humans because it’s the only way to stay alive?”
Liv’s mouth opened in shock. “Aspen! Who are you?”
Her words slashed into the very core of my being, causing an ache to spread throughout my chest. “I don’t know anymore,” I told my best friend honestly.
Liv nodded, stepping closer and opening her arms to pull me into a hug. “We’ll get through this together. It’s a rough patch and we’re going to get through it together, okay?”
I squeezed her so tightly then that I knew it must have hurt, but she didn’t say anything. I needed her. She was my life raft, the only thing I could trust to keep me afloat right now when I didn’t even trust my own thoughts.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning I awoke to find Liv already gone for the day. I decided to go for a workout and forget all the nonsense from last night. Sterling and the others had seen me run off after chickening out about killing the young vampire kid, and we’d had to call for them to pick us up, so there was no getting around what I’d done.
As if thinking about him had summoned my ex, I turned the corner and there he was, leaning against a wall, typing something on his phone. He looked up when he saw me and frowned. “Hey. We need to talk.”
I’d been avoiding him, and this talk. I kept using excuses like I needed to heal after the gala, and I was busy, but it was time to hash it out. Now was a horrible time for me to look deep
inside of myself for feelings about Sterling, but I didn’t want to lead him on; I wanted to come clean.
I nodded, walking up to him and looking him right in the eye. “Talk.”
He cleared his throat. “I want to move back and be with you again. I’ve missed you.” He reached out and touched a lock of my red hair.
So he didn’t want to even talk about my running off last night. Good. I needed to rip the Band-Aid off and hit him with a truth bomb.
“Here’s the deal, Sterling. You were the first and only man I ever loved.” My throat tightened. “But you broke my heart in such an epic way that it’s not possible for me to be with you again. That’s like self-abuse, and my heart will wonder why we would go back to someone who hurt us like that. I’m just not capable of loving you again after you threw me aside like trash when I bared my deepest feelings to you.” Tears streamed down my face as I gave him the raw truth.
His mouth hung open, pain crossing his features. Before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me so tightly I started to sob. Even though this was the man who hurt me, I’d never felt so safe as I did right now in these arms.
“Fuck, Aspen. I’m so sorry. You’re right. You deserve better. I have issues and you deserve better,” he rasped against my neck.
Hearing him admit that he had issues and it wasn’t all on me was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I pulled back, wiping my eyes with a smile.
“So … we’re friends from here on out? That feels weird.” He ran a hand through his blond locks.
I nodded. “Friends forever. I’ll be married and you’ll be a forty-year-old hunter dating all the twenty-year-olds like Leonardo DiCaprio, and bringing them to my kids’ birthday parties, but we’ll always be friends.”
He grinned, shaking his head, but there was a sadness in his eyes. “I wish I could be what you want, Aspen. I wish I could jump headfirst into lifelong commitment, but I’m just…”
“Scared? Stupid? An idi—”
He reached out and lightly smacked my arm, causing me to laugh.
“Okay, maybe some of those things,” he admitted.
I felt a hundred pounds lighter, and I was actually glad we had this talk.
“I’m always here for you,” he told me.
“Same,” I said, and gave him one last hug before walking away and leaving behind a huge part of my life. I finally got the closure I needed and it felt damn good. Now I just needed to find Liv and tell her all about it.
As I was heading down the hallway to check the gym room for Liv, I felt Luka’s presence overwhelm my mind. ‘Can you come get your friend before Izzy kills her?’ he growled.
My eyes widened. ‘What? What friend?’
‘The one you came to Bang with. She just broke into my apartment and tried to kill me.’
Liv! That crazy woman. What was she thinking?
‘I’ll be right there. Don’t hurt her!’
I could feel his frustration through our stupid bond. ‘I can’t make any promises if she wakes up and tries to take my head off again.’
‘Dammit, Luka, she’s my sister. Don’t. Hurt. Her.’
I tore off down the hallway, then made a left out into the foyer of the society.
He was silent. ‘Just hurry. Izzy has a sword to her neck and I can’t hold her back forever.’
Oh God.
I ran past Finn, who started to say something, but I waved him off. “Sorry, hunter emergency!”
“Careful, lass!” he called out.
The second I hit the outside alleyway I took off like my ass was on fire. I needed to save my idiot best friend and not get her killed.
Jumping into my Beetle, I threw it into first gear and took off through the city. By the time I pulled up to Luka’s apartment, I’d been honked at three times and flipped off twice. I skidded into a spot and tore out of the car, taking the steps up to his door two at a time. When I burst onto his floor, I found Luka waiting in the doorway. He was shirtless, a thin bead of crusted blood at his neck.
Razor wire.
His tattooed abdomen was covered in small, puckered scars I’d never noticed before—stake marks.
Holy hell, he’d been staked that many times!
How had I not noticed until now? I guess because I kept trying to avoid looking.
“Where is she?!” I yelped.
“I’m fine, thank you for asking,” Luka said dryly.
I waved him off and burst into the apartment to find Izzy with the tip of her sword to my bestie’s neck. Liv was out cold, lying on the floor with the razor wire in her hand. Luka’s blood was all over it.
“You can take that off her neck,” I growled to Luka’s cousin.
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, is that right?”
“Izz,” Luka warned, his presence coming up behind me.
Izzy pulled the blade back and I knelt down before my bestie. If Luka hadn’t recognized her as my friend from that night … she’d be dead.
“Thank you.” I looked up at him. “She’s … important to me.” My throat tightened as I hooked an arm under Liv’s leg and another under her neck.
“Sisters?” he mused, looking from her brown skin to my pale complexion.
“Yep.” Might as well be. Screw genetics. Liv knew me better than I knew myself.
“You’re just going to let her go?” Izzy seethed, gripping her sword tightly.
Luka looked amusingly at his cousin. “I don’t think it would behoove me to kill my feeder’s sister.”
Feeder. Ouch. I mean … I was, but he’d never called me that before.
Izzy stepped closer to Luka. “They’re insane. They’re in a cult. Tell them!” she growled.
Luka’s gaze snapped to her. “Stop.”
“What?” I asked her. “What did you just say?”
Bitch wasn’t going to call me insane and live to tell about it.
Izzy chuckled, shaking her head. “Tell her or I will,” she threatened.
I frowned, and opened my mouth to ask Luka what she was talking about, when Liv groaned in my arms, waking up. She was heavier than a sack of rocks but I clutched her tightly to my chest while my back buckled under the strain.
Luka looked at Liv. “Better get her out of here and make sure I never see her here again.”
I nodded, pushing everything else aside, and stepped out the front door, starting down the steps.
“Can you come back later for … dinner?” Luka mused, his eyes lighting up when he spoke as if his comment about dinner would be funny.
I groaned. “I’ll try to slip out, yeah.”
Now wasn’t the time for a feeding. I needed to get Liv home and shake the shit out of her for almost getting killed.
“I’m sorry,” Liv groaned, holding an ice bag to her head. “I thought I could fix everything for you by taking him out.”
I sighed. “Luka is a Drake. Royalty. You are a junior hunter—”
She peeled her lips back and sneered at me and I held up my hands. “Okay, but, Liv, you could have been killed if he hadn’t called me to get you.”
Liv frowned. “Why did he do that? I wouldn’t have done that to my assassin.”
She looked about as puzzled as I felt when it came to all things Luka.
I nodded. “I know. He’s different. It’s confusing. We’re just going to chalk it up to a flaw in the system.”
Liv’s frown deepened. “I don’t like thinking a vampire is a decent person.”
I chuckled. “Girl, you have no idea.”
“We need chocolate.”
“We most definitely do.” I walked to the fridge and pulled out the milk and chocolate syrup, then went for the Oreos. When Liv and I said chocolate, we didn’t mess around. Chocolate cookies dipped in chocolate milk.
After the fourth cookie, Liv looked sideways at me. “Maybe he’s … I dunno.”
I laughed. “Don’t try to figure it out, it will shatter your world. He’s Luka. He’s not evil.
We just need to leave it at that.”
She nodded, taking another cookie, but there was a wild look in her eye, the same look that I probably had when I started to question my own sanity. It felt good to come to terms with the fact that Luka was just one of the good ones and it felt even better that Liv agreed.
I opened my mouth to say something else when Maz texted me.
Maz: Come to my office. I want to talk.
I froze, cookie halfway to my mouth.
Liv peeked over my shoulder and winced. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
Yeah right, she’d probably heard about last night and my running off. I was feeling too lost and too confused to really be scared. If she found out what was going on with Luka and I, there was nothing I could do about it.
I knocked on Maz’s office door and she called out for me to enter. Opening the door, I found her at her desk, reading the Hunter Scriptures. Her giant computer monitor sat to the right, the glow casting a bright light across her face. I had idolized this woman so much, and now I didn’t even know if I could trust her.
“You wanted to see me?” I asked, stepping deeper inside the office as Maz set down her book and looked up at me with kind eyes.
“Come sit, dear.” She patted the chair in front of her desk and I nervously made my way past the large mahogany bookshelves and slipped into the brown leather chair. My gaze fixated on the furnace at the far wall of her office. I wondered how many of those kills were really necessary.
She followed my gaze. “You almost died in Portland. It’s normal after that kind of trauma to freeze up the next time you go hunting.”
I breathed a little easier. She thought that’s why I froze up? I nodded, but decided to dig a little deeper. If Maz was telling the truth with everything, then there was nothing to hide.
“Maz … I just have been thinking a lot lately about who we kill and why—I mean … not vampires in general of course, because I know they can be evil, but more specifically…”
I paused, trying to read her face, which was completely blank and devoid of any emotion.
“Well, there was a fifteen-year-old looking kid vampire at the raid last night and I … just started thinking maybe he didn’t want to be changed into a bloodsucker. He was human once, and…”