“I’m so sorry,” his voice rasped. “Forgive me, Eve.”
“It’s the barrel horse all over again. You chose for me.”
“I get it. I wanted to do something for you, something amazing. And what I did was take control. I’m learning but it might take me a while to get it.”
“I know. And I’m going to have to work on not being so easily upset by your little surprises.” She sighed. “He is nice.”
They continued to ride in silence. Peace stole over her. She felt a calm she hadn’t felt in a long time. The air along the tree line was shady and cool. Other than the sound of the horse’s hooves on the dry ground, and a few birds flitting from tree to tree, there was silence.
She felt Ethan starting to say something. She shook her head.
He remained silent. Eve closed her eyes, knowing he was there, a safety net. The rhythm of the horse rocked her, and if she kept her eyes closed she could almost believe she could feel the animal, almost believe it was her legs carrying her. She drew in a breath and felt Ethan’s hand tighten on her arm, giving a light squeeze.
“I missed this. So much,” she admitted with some chagrin. “I’m so mad at you, so how can I be so happy that you did this?”
“Those dialectics, who understands how we can feel both at the same time? I’ve felt the same in the past ten days. I’m glad to be here in this moment with you. I’m also angry that I’ve missed four years of moments like this.”
“But you understand.”
“I understand.”
The horse perked up, obviously smelling the water from the creek. Eve guided him to an area that she knew from riding in the truck to this location. She brought him to an easy stop in a small glade where once they’d seen a deer and twin fawns during an early morning drive. Today a fox ran across the clearing. The horse raised his head to watch, his ears following the path of the canine-like twin antennae.
“We could sit here for a while?” Ethan suggested.
Sit for a while. She liked the idea even if it meant being handled by him. There were moments when a person had to let go of their pride.
* * *
Ethan steadied Eve, then he swung down, landing next to the horse. As expected, Twister stood without moving.
“Now, how do you plan to get me down from here?” Eve taunted.
He went to the off side of the horse and moved her right foot from the stirrup. Then he moved back to the left side of the horse and extracted that sneakered foot. “Hands on my shoulders and I’ll...”
“Wait, give me a moment. I’ll move my leg over if you’ll hold him steady. Does he have a name?”
“Twister. As in Texas Twister.”
“Poor boy, just because he’s gray he’s named after weather. Okay, let me do this.”
She lifted her right leg, leaned back and then moved it to the near side of the horse, turning her body slightly toward him. “Now I’ll put my hands on your shoulders.”
“And I’ll lift you down.”
“Don’t drop me.”
He smiled up at her. “I would never drop you.”
Her hands settled on his shoulders and he paused to look up, meeting her gaze, which held no uncertainty. He put one arm under her knees and as she leaned in, locking her arms behind his neck, he eased her from the saddle. It was awkward but it worked, and the end result was Eve in his arms.
“Can you grab the reins and lead him?” he asked. “We’ll sit over here where we can see the creek.”
“Mmm-hmm,” was her response.
Gently he set her down on the ground. She positioned her legs in front of her and braced herself on her arms to look up at the canopy of trees that protected them from the early afternoon sun.
“It’s warm,” he said as he dropped down next to her.
“Yes, it’s May. It’s always warm in May.”
He laughed. “Okay, I didn’t know what else to say.”
“Thank you for taking me riding.”
“You’re welcome. He’s yours. My gift to you.”
She shook her head. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you love to ride. You should have a horse you can enjoy.”
“How did you find him?” she asked, looking up at the animal that loomed over her. “Do you think you could tie him? This is unnerving.”
“Agreed.” He got up and led the horse to a nearby post that was obviously meant for tying horses.
She watched him the entire time. When he returned to her side, she looked up at him. “So...about the horse?”
“I saw him advertised online. His rider was a woman, a paraplegic. She used him in different events, mostly endurance, some trail classes.”
“Ethan, you shouldn’t have.”
“But I did. You can decide if you want to keep him, sell him or give him away.”
“My decision to make. Thank you.” She leaned her head against his shoulder and he moved his left arm behind her to brace her.
“Yes, your decision.”
“We have a lot of those coming up.” She closed her eyes, relaxing next to him. “I really am praying about this. I don’t want to do the wrong thing for the right reasons, or vice versa.”
“I know.”
“Speaking of hard decisions to make, I’m thinking about talking to my parents. I mean, more than talking. I need to be honest with them. About everything.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I think talking to them is an important step for your future.”
They sat quietly for some time. When she looked up, questions in her dark eyes, he touched his lips to hers. Her hand moved to his cheek, holding him. As if he would ever try to escape. She was the woman he’d planned to spend his life with.
She sighed. Her eyes were closed so he kissed her eyelids. A smile tipped her mouth. He kissed the corners of her lips.
“Stop.” She spoke softly, putting some distance between them. “We have to stop because this just confuses the issue. When you kiss me, I think we’re still the same people we were, but we aren’t.”
“Agreed. We are not the same people.”
“We have to think about Tori.”
“Again, I agree.”
She scooted away from him. “You stay over there, I’ll stay here.”
He almost smiled. “Okay. We have four weeks to come up with a plan for Tori. Our court date is at the middle of June.”
“Prepare what? I mean, we go before a judge. What do we prepare?”
“A plan for guardianship. He wants to see two parents ready and willing to raise her as their own, provide a home, love and support for her.”
“I just can’t imagine what that judge is going to say when we enter his courtroom to tell him we—in all of our dysfunction—are the people James and Hanna chose to raise their daughter.”
“We have to show a united front.”
“United? You live in Texas. I live in Oklahoma. We’re about as united as the Midwest and the West Coast.”
He laughed.
“This isn’t funny,” she warned.
“I know, but some of the ways you draw similarities is actually amusing. We have four weeks to figure out a plan that convinces a judge that we can be parents to Tori.”
“Okay, how about if I tell the judge I don’t know her birthday or her full name? Will that convince him that I’m parent material?”
He threw her a look that said he was not amused.
“We have a lot of work to do, Ethan, and I’m not convinced we’re the best thing for her.”
In their present situations, he agreed that they weren’t the best thing for Tori. But he had a plan and it included Eve. The major issue would be convincing her to go along with what he suggested.
And he was certain today was not the day to ask.
Chapter Eleven
But her parents were getting older. The realization hit her that no one is guaranteed anything in life.
“Glory, you can go.” She turned away from her desk to watch the teenager changing Tori’s diaper. “I have to make a phone call and I know that you’re excited for your afternoon with Cara.”
“Unsupervised,” Glory repeated. “Can you believe that? I get a whole afternoon with her. We’re going to cuddle, and I’m going to rock her and sing to her. Everything we never get to do.”
“Oh, Glory, I’m so happy for you.”
Glory jumped up and gave her a hug. It was safe to say Eve hadn’t had her personal space invaded this often in years. But she hugged the teenager back.
“Is there anything you need me to do before I go?”
“Can you put her on her blanket so she can play?”
Glory lifted Tori off the sofa and placed her on the activity pad. Of course, the thing that Tori loved the most were the bright pink socks on her feet.
A few minutes later, the door closed softly behind Glory. Eve moved her chair close to the baby, smiling down at her.
“You are beyond precious.” Tori smiled up at her. “That’s it, I’m coming down there with you.”
Eve moved her left foot from the footplate of her chair and followed with the right one. Once they were positioned, she grabbed the frame of her chair and lowered herself to the floor. She scooted so that her back was against the sofa, and then she grabbed the padded seat from her chair and pushed it under her.
“Look at me. Now we’re down here together and we can play for a bit.”
Tori gurgled and cooed, her hand reaching for Eve. Eve picked the baby up and set her on her lap. She brought her legs up, planting her feet on the floor so that Tori rested against her thighs.
Eve took the baby’s hands in hers and clapped them together. “Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s man, bake me a cake as fast you can.”
She clapped Tori’s hands and the baby giggled and tried the gesture on her own.
“Look at you, smart girl. You know, I think I love you very much.”
Tori yawned and Eve yawned in return. “Should we take a nap here together? Hmm, I haven’t slept on a sofa in a very long time. It’s amazing the things you get me to do when you’re around. Just like your da...” She shook her head. “Ethan. But he will be your daddy, won’t he? He’ll make a good daddy.”
Tori looked up at her with sleepy eyes.
“You’re right, a nap would be good.”
She grabbed a bottle off the coffee table that had been moved to the side and tossed it on the sofa. Then she shifted and settled Tori. She was getting pretty good at this. She set the brake on her chair, put a hand on the sofa and one on the frame of her chair. With a good push, she managed to get her seat on the sofa, and then she moved her legs so they stretched out and she leaned against the pillow. Tori eyed her as she pulled the baby up against her, keeping her on the inside.
“This is how we nap.” She crossed her right leg over her left and turned toward the baby. “Sleepy time, sweet baby. You’ve been so sleepy since you had that stomach virus. I need to talk to Carson about that.”
In what felt like a few minutes later, she heard someone say, “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, wake up.”
Eve startled awake and opened her eyes. “Sierra, what in the world? What day is it?”
“I love those naps when you wake up and you don’t know the time or day. Must have been a good one. And Tori is still out.”
“She’s still getting over the virus.”
“It’s been six days. She should be over it by now, shouldn’t she?”
“Agreed.”
“You’re getting pretty good at this baby thing.” Sierra sat down in the chair next to the sofa.
“Because I have a lot of help.”
Sierra arched a brow at that. “No, you’re good at this because you’re a natural. You were meant to be a mom. I promise, I wouldn’t say that to just anyone.”
“Meant to be, yeah.” She glanced at the chair without meaning to.
“Oh, because paraplegics can’t be moms?”
“They can. They are. And I do love her. I can see myself doing this. I’ve even considered telling Ethan we can find a way to make this work.”
“Why not marry him, too?” Sierra said with a sly grin.
“That ship has sailed.”
“It can come back into port.”
She didn’t want to laugh, but she couldn’t help herself.
“It’s been four years. We’ve both changed. Too much has happened. And raising Tori would be forever, not a few short days of spending time with her, loving her.”
She tried to imagine chasing a toddler through the house, trying to keep her safe.
“Oh, there you go, overthinking this again.”
“Easy for you to say,” she blurted out.
“Yes, because my life is so easy.”
“No, your life isn’t easy. But you’re amazingly strong. You see everything as an obstacle that can be overcome.”
“Right. I’m Miss Optimistic,” Sierra said with a roll of her eyes. “Let’s be clear, no one has ever seen me as an optimist. But I am realistic and honest.”
“You are both of those things, and a good friend.”
“Back to you,” Sierra said a moment later with an overly bright smile plastered on her face. “This guy loves you. You love him. This baby needs the two of you. Problem solved.”
“Right. It would be a happy life with Ethan giving up his dreams to raise Tori and, on top of that, take care of me. We might be happy for six months, maybe a year, but then he would start thinking about what he missed out on. I don’t want to be the choice he resents or the person he marries because he’s loyal or because he has a sense of duty.” When she added it up, he’d come looking for her only because of Tori. No other reason.
“Stubborn.” Sierra stood and took the sleeping child from Eve. “Go get ready for the bonfire. We’re taking a wagon to the back field for the nonriders like myself. But I hear you have a horse now.”
Eve covered her face with her hands. “You’re right. I have a horse.”
“Not a dozen roses or a pretty pearl choker, a horse. Because he knows what makes you go all giddy inside. I’m not a romantic but the guy might be worth considering. Go get ready and I’ll watch the munchkin.”
Eve moved herself over to her chair and released the brakes. “I’m not falling for that.”
As she rolled down the hall for her rooms, she thought she heard Sierra chuckle and say, “You’re falling for the cowboy.”
Eve wouldn’t admit it even if she was tortured, but because of Ethan’s presence in her life, she took special care with her appearance that night. It had been a long time since she’d done more than pull her dark hair back in a ponytail. Tonight, she left it long and straight, and she found a white hat she’d shoved to the back of her closet. She donned jeans and a long-sleeve plaid shirt over a white T-shirt. And she managed to pull on boots.
When she returned to the living room, Sierra whistled. “You own makeup?”
“Go away.” She pulled the baby sling off the table and slid it behind her, then she packed a diaper bag, made two extra bottles and tossed in a container of frozen baby food, specially made by Glory. It was warm outside so it would thaw by th
e time Tori was ready to eat.
“Ready to go?” Sierra asked. She had changed Tori into a cute sleeper and washed her face. The baby smelled clean.
“Wow, you got her ready to go. Thanks.”
“I had younger siblings. It’s part of the routine. I’ll carry her if you want.”
“Go for it.”
“She isn’t so bad, you know.”
Eve studied her friend, looking into hazel eyes that shuttered, keeping out emotion and blocking entrance to even her best friends.
“She’s wonderful, actually.”
“If my life had been different, maybe I would have wanted babies,” Sierra said.
“Maybe you still do.”
“No, thank you. I’m not interested in the suffering that comes with marriage. I mean, if you decide on marriage, I’ll support you. I’ll plan your wedding. I’ll be your bridesmaid. Whatever you want. But count me out on romance.”
“I’m not planning marriage,” Eve assured her friend.
“Thank goodness. I don’t want to train a new roommate. Abby is sweet but she stays in her room most of the time and doesn’t say a whole lot.”
“She hasn’t been out much, has she?”
“Nope.”
“Maybe Kylie should pay her a visit?”
Sierra shifted Tori from her right side to her left. “Maybe. She was fixing a sandwich while you were getting ready. She said she’d rather stay inside than face people.”
“Safe to say we shouldn’t let her stick to herself.”
“I thought so myself.”
They approached the corral where a flatbed trailer was attached to a truck. Bales of hay around the edges turned it into a hayride. Horses were saddled and tied to the rails of the corral, for those who wanted to ride. Ethan saw them coming and headed in their direction.
“I was going to come and get you,” he said as he drew closer.
“I managed to get myself down here.” Eve bristled and she knew she shouldn’t. He was being kind. He was being chivalrous. And chivalry was a good trait she told herself.
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