by Tamsin Ley
Lightning coursed through her system. Noatak jolted, as if feeling it, too, and his arms engulfed her, wrapping her in his masculine scent. She relaxed her lips, allowing his tongue to explore. His thighs were like rocks against hers, and she could feel his growing arousal against her lower abdomen.
She ran one hand along his jaw, the coarse fringe of his beard tickling her fingertips while she rolled her tongue against his. He tasted like a breath of clean air after a long shuttle ride, a promise of freedom and possibility. Wrapping her other arm around his waist, she pressed her body against his, gripping the solid muscles of his lower back. Her racing heart was making it hard to breathe, but she didn’t want to stop. Never, ever stop.
He threaded one large hand into the hair at the back of her scalp and tugged her head to one side, burying his face against the side of her neck. Her skin seemed to come alive under the prickle of his beard, waves of electric heat flowing down her neck and chest until her nipples burned against her bra. His teeth latched onto her earlobe, and a shiver rocked her, spasming her core as if he’d just connected to every erogenous zone in her body.
“Oh, God,” she breathed, clutching the back of his neck like a lifeline. Slipping her other hand over his pants, she palmed the hard, thick roll of his erection. He was huge. Throbbing. Hot. Her pussy responded with a pulsating heat of its own, and she flexed her hips to press herself against his thigh. He groaned in her ear, trailing kisses down her throat.
They’d begun rocking against each other, an increasing storm brewing between them that could only be satiated by one thing. Her mind was fuzzy with desire, a need for him that blocked out every other concern. She fumbled for his belt, needing to touch his skin, to wrap her fingers around his shaft, circle his waist with both legs, fill herself with his heat.
Twerp buzzed hard enough to sting her skin. “Marlis, I have d-detected a sharp spike in your temperature. This may be indicative of an adverse reaction to the nanites. Please seek the doctor’s attention at once.”
She shook her wrist, silencing the annoyance, but Noatak pushed her away, breathing hard. “Anaq. Kissing can cause the nanites to react. I shouldn’t have let you get this close to me.”
Twerp buzzed again. “I have alerted Mek to the situation. He is expecting you.”
“Dammit, Twerp.” It felt like she’d been waiting months for Noatak to touch her, and now this. “I feel fine. Really.”
Noatak put his hands on her shoulders and turned her toward the door. “Twerp’s right.” His voice was thick. “We can’t take chances. I’ll escort you.”
Normally, she’d be angry at the insinuation she needed help, but her legs were wobbly with desire, and she wasn’t about to tell him to go away. “Thank you.”
Taking his hand, she led him from the weapons locker. He chuckled as he followed behind her.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was supposed to escort you, not the other way around.”
She didn’t allow her steps to falter. “Whatever. I want to ask Mek about fixing you, anyway.”
They paused outside the door to the med bay. Mek flicked a glance at their linked hands, face impassive, but his words were colder than usual. “Twerp told me you were coming. Thank you for dropping her off, Noatak. I’ll take it from here.”
Marlis squeezed Noatak’s hand tighter. “I want him to stay. I have some questions about his ionic heart condition.”
Mek’s eyebrows shot up and he looked straight at Noatak. “You told her?”
Noatak nodded. “Now it’s your job to convince her I’m not fixable.”
“Stop saying that.” She glowered at Noatak.
Twerp said, “I would be very interested in learning about D-denaidan physiology, doctor, especially since Marlis will be working among you.”
“Let’s deal with one thing at a time, okay? You said her immune system has engaged?” Mek pulled the large scanner over to the exam table. “Marlis, please sit.”
Marlis took a seat on the table, and Noatak released her hand to give the doctor room while Twerp provided a report. “Her white blood cell count is approaching levels which may be indicative of a developing autoimmune cascade.”
Mek adjusted the scanner over her head. “This may hurt.”
He gave her that same warning every time, but she’d never felt anything more than a warming vibration, much like Twerp’s reminders. She closed her eyes anyway, envisioning the nanites inside her putting the puzzle pieces of her brain back together.
After a few moments, Mek grunted, and Marlis opened her eyes to find him frowning darkly at the scanner. Her breathing sharpened. “What is it?”
“Your immune system is definitely up in arms.” He shook his head. “The nanites not only aren’t replicating, but their overall saturation seems to have decreased. I’m worried your immune system might destroy the nanites before they take hold.”
Twerp chimed in, “Since the nanites are supposed to integrate with Marlis’s system much like an organ transplant, the medically suggested course of action for humans would be to administer anti-rejection medication.”
Mek rubbed his temple. “I’ve thought of that. But it would make her susceptible to other infections and require a period of quarantine.”
“Quarantine?” Marlis sat up straighter. “You mean put me in lockdown? God, no.” She’d been in solitary confinement twice back on the carrier after losing her temper during therapy sessions, trapped with nothing but her own anger and heavy medication. She never wanted to experience anything like that again.
“This is the last of our nanites.” Noatak put a hand on her shoulder. “You have to protect them.”
She swallowed, mollified by his touch. Protect the nanites. It wasn’t a gunfight, but it was an important job, not only for her own sake, but the sake of an entire species. She grimaced and stared at the bare, slate gray wall across from her. “As long as I can keep Twerp with me, fine.”
“I’m not ready to take that step yet,” Mek said. “The scans don’t show any increase in nanite concentrations, but perhaps that’s merely because they’re either analyzing or fixing your synaptic pathways. I want to run another round of scans before we make any decisions.” He pulled the scanner close. “Lie back, please.”
Marlis did as he asked, but this time kept her eyes open, watching the doctor’s face as he read the screen.
Mek tapped a few keys. Moving the scanner, he tapped a few more. His face had a strangely pale sheen she hoped was just a reflection from the scanner’s screen. Finally, he shut down the screen and slid the entire unit back toward the wall. “I’m not seeing any new dendrite clusters.”
“What are dendrite clusters?” Marlis asked, nausea roiling below her ribs.
“The physical connections within your brain.”
“So what does that mean? More waiting?”
Mek met her gaze. “I’m afraid the nanites in your system are below viable levels. They’re not going to fix you.”
The air felt suddenly too heavy, as if a corpse had just collapsed on top of her. She flailed one arm toward Noatak, needing someone, something to ground her. Twerp buzzed at her wrist.
“The nanites are dead.” Noatak’s voice was a flat monotone, so calm it was frightening. “Right?”
“Technically, machines cannot die…” Twerp began.
But Marlis could no longer hear. The nanites had died under her care. Was she somehow responsible?
Chapter Twelve
Noatak held Marlis’s hand while Mek took a sample of her spinal fluid to confirm his suspicions. The nanites were dead, no more than inert microscopic bits of debris. He felt almost numb, as if the hope the nanites had provided had been a dream. Some part of him had clung to the belief there was a fix for his ionic heart and the possibility of a future. With the nanites gone, there was no hope for him, no healing for Marlis, and no chance for his entire race. Even the trickster god couldn’t be laughing now.
Voice barely audible, Marlis asked
, “Is this my fault?”
Mek patted her shoulder. “Of course not. The nanites were obviously too weak by the time we inoculated you.”
But the question jarred Noatak from his daze. Marlis’s temperature had risen in the weapons locker. Risen during their kiss. What if he was responsible? He’d been careful not to ping her, to only savor the physical interaction, the feel of her body, her lips, her scent. An ionic connection would’ve been a much deeper thing. Something more instinctual and uncontrolled. He’d been careful, hadn’t he?
He looked at her face, her porcelain skin and tawny eyes. The strong but slender line of her throat. The rise and fall of her breasts from her rapid breathing. He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, but he had nothing to give. He could never be the one to give her anything, not now or ever.
Throat tight, he backed toward the door. “I’ll tell the captain the bad news.”
Marlis blanched, squeezing her eyes closed. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault,” Mek reiterated and glanced toward Noatak. “I’m going to keep Marlis here a while longer for observation. Tell Qaiyaan to call a crew meeting. Everyone should know.”
Stumbling from the med bay in a daze, Noatak headed toward Qaiyaan’s cabin.
What if it’s my fault?
Knocking once on Qaiyaan’s cabin door, he opened it and entered before the captain could respond.
Lisa lay on the bed in her panties, reading something on her polycom. She yanked a blanket over her naked torso. “Hey!”
Qaiyaan looked up from his desk near the view port. “What the hell?”
“I just came from the med lab.” Noatak took a seat across from the captain with his back toward the bed. His words felt thick. “The nanites are dead.”
“No!” Lisa gasped behind him amidst the rustle of fabric.
Qaiyaan winced and closed his eyes. “Are you certain? Perhaps they just need more time.”
“Mek verified it several times.” Noatak swallowed, forcing down bile. “I think it’s my fault.”
“What are you talking about?” Qaiyaan frowned at him.
“I kissed her.”
Empathy dawned on the captain’s face. “A kiss isn’t enough to destroy the nanites.”
“It might if they were already weak.” Noatak refused to be assuaged. “I took her straight to the med bay, but it was too late.”
“Slow down, Noatak. We all know the nanites can cause blackouts when agitated, but the only thing strong enough to actually kill them is the Denaidan mating frequency.”
“Mek said they were struggling. The kiss made Marlis’s immune system reject them.” The more Noatak thought about it, the more he knew this had been his fault. He’d been careless, greedy for Marlis’s touch even though he knew it could never amount to anything. Now not only was his race doomed, Marlis’d been denied a chance for healing.
“Iluq, if the nanites were that vulnerable, Mek would’ve kept Marlis in the med bay, not let her run around among the crew.”
Noatak wasn’t listening. He had to make this right. If there was one thing he’d learned about regret, it was that looking back didn’t move you forward. There was only one solution to losing the nanites. “We have to go after Doug. Now.”
“We’re working on that.” Qaiyaan nodded. “We’re just waiting for Kashatok to dig up more information.”
“We’ve seen how long that takes. Doug could be dead before we track him down.”
“Kashatok’s working on it, believe me.”
Noatak shook his head. He had another plan in mind. “Syndicorp still wants Lisa back, right? The scientists on the Icarus especially, I’d imagine.”
Qaiyaan scowled at him. “We’re not using her as bait.”
“No, but we could use knowledge of her to draw them out.”
“What are you suggesting?
Noatak grinned. Nothing better than a dangerous mission to take the mind off one’s troubles. “I’ll send a message on Galactic Ops’ old channel and claim to have information about Lisa, but that I’ll only give it to the captain of the Icarus in person. I’ll take our shuttle and meet them at some obscure location. Once they bring me on board, I’ll drop a tracker. You’ll be able to locate the Icarus and hijack them.”
Qaiyaan crossed his arms. “They’ll be on the lookout for that kind of thing. And we can’t allow them to get their hands on you. You know too much.”
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Noatak said, “They won’t get anything out of me. I’ll use a suicide pill right after I drop the tracker.”
“Are you insane?” Qaiyaan rose from his chair, staring Noatak down as if he was considering throwing him in the brig. “A suicide pill?”
Lisa had dressed and made her way to Qaiyaan’s side. She looped one arm over his shoulder and pulled him back into his seat. “I appreciate you wanting to help save my brother, but Qaiyaan’s right. This is too extreme.”
“It’s not.” He swallowed. “I’m already dying, Qaiyaan.”
As he explained about his ionic heart, Qaiyaan’s face lost its color. Lisa covered her mouth with one hand, eyes glistening. When he’d finished, she lowered the hand and reached for his. “Are you damaged because you helped save me?”
When they’d rescued her from the cartel, he’d extended his ionic shield to protect her during burn. The added strain on his system certainly hadn’t helped his condition, but the root of the problem was his fault, not hers.
“No.” He squeezed her hand and met her gaze steadily, so she’d know he was sincere. “I’ve known my ionic system was failing for years. Too much stim use while I was in the service. But I have enough left in me to do this. I don’t want to go out like an old man. If I succeed at this, my death will at least mean something. I’ll free your brother, get nanites for mates, and help Marlis heal.”
“Marlis?” Lisa narrowed her eyes on him. “This is about her, isn’t it?”
“This is about our entire race,” Noatak said, pulling free of her grasp. “But I do want her future to be happy.”
Lisa raised her brows. “I bet it won’t be if you’re gone.”
“We hardly know each other.” He swallowed, thinking of Marlis insisting she wanted to be with him. She was perfect, more than he’d ever imagined possible in a woman. But he could never be what she deserved. “She’ll move on. But I should go before she grows any more attached.”
Sighing, Qaiyaan dropped his chin to his chest. “I hate to admit it, but it’s the best plan we’ve had so far.” He rose. “I’ll have Kashatok host a crew meeting in the Kinship’s galley so everyone can attend. We need to tell the men about the nanites and he can provide any new information he might have about the Icarus.”
Chest tight, Noatak nodded. He knew his captain well; this was Qaiyaan’s version of agreeing to the plan. Assuming Kashatok hadn’t come up with a wild scheme of his own, Noatak would be on his way soon. Hopefully, he’d be remembered as a hero, the man who’d ensured future mates for his people. And once he was gone, Marlis could move on and bond with one of the remaining crew.
He should go to his bunk and prepare himself to meet Ellam Cua. Make sure his affairs were in order. Instead, he headed back to the med bay. All he wanted to do between now and his death was spend time with Marlis.
Chapter Thirteen
Marlis tamped down her anger as she left Mek behind in the med bay. The nanites were gone, along with the promise of healing her brain and any chance to be with Noatak. Fuck, her job might even be on the line. What was the crew going to do with her now that she’d basically killed their only hope of having mates? She was useless. A Weapons Specialist with memory problems who couldn’t even manage to keep micro computers alive in her brain.
She stormed around the corner and smack into Noatak’s chest. “Umph.”
His hands grasped her shoulders, steadying her. Even without the nanites, electricity raced across her skin, tingling her erogenous zones. She looked up into his face. Deep within
his eyes, she could see sadness. Yearning. It was like looking in a mirror.
She tried to smile, but it felt like a grimace. “How’d the captain take the news?”
Noatak sighed. “He’s asked to hold a meeting on the Kinship to tell everyone. I came to get you and Mek.”
Great. She’d hoped she had a little more time. Perhaps a chance to talk to Emmy before facing the rest of the crew.
Noatak took her hand and squeezed gently. “They won’t blame you.”
The tender gesture made her throat tighten. She nodded, wanting to believe him. He told Mek about the meeting, then led her across the boarding tube to the larger ship. The tightness in her throat moved to her chest as they entered the galley. Kashatok’s crew already had a bottle of rum circulating among them, possibly suspecting what was coming, and the mood was somber as Marlis sat near one end of the table next to Emmy. Noatak calmly took the chair on her other side. How could he be so stoic? She wanted to run and scream and shoot things.
Once Mek had joined them, Qaiyaan took a chair at the head of the table and cleared his throat. “You probably suspect why we’ve called you here.” The crew rumbled, nodding heads and frowning. “Mek has confirmed that the nanites are dead.”
It was as if the room itself gasped, and Tovik asked, “What happened?”
“They were no longer viable by the time I inoculated her,” Mek said, accepting the bottle of rum from Tovik and taking a swallow. “It’s not Marlis’s fault.”
Emmy reached under the table and squeezed Marlis’s hand while the men grumbled and muttered.
Marlis kept her focus on Qaiyaan, unable to look at the crew or Emmy or even Noatak. She’d let everyone down.
Qaiyaan continued, “This means we need to double our efforts to find Lisa’s brother. Noatak has come up with a plan that may work. But there will be a cost.” He gestured to his First Mate. “I’m going to let him explain.”
A plan? Marlis should’ve known Noatak would come up with something. She dared a sideways look in his direction.