Ride Me
rebecca brooke
Copyright © 2018 by Rebecca Brooke
Cover Design by Sommer Stein of Perfect Pear Creations
Editing by Emily A. Lawrence of Lawrence Editing
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously, and any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.
All rights reserved.
DEDICATION
To everyone who never thought they could have the one person the always wanted.
Love is Love
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Epilogue
Other Books
About the Author
CHAPTER 1
Sawyer
“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m coming.”
I threw my legs over the side of the bed, blinking my eyes into focus, the sunlight reflecting off the white walls burning them. Why was someone banging on my front door before nine in the morning and where in the hell had Heath gone? He should’ve been dragging his ass out of bed to see who’d been banging on it for the last fifteen minutes since I only went to bed a couple of hours ago, after reworking the lyrics for our latest song. Even as the drummer of Jaded Ivory, I did my fair share of songwriting.
I tugged on a pair of shorts and ran a hand over my face. The pounding started again and I forced myself to leave the room to answer the door. I noticed Heath’s door open, the room empty as I passed by. No wonder he hadn’t answered the door. I hadn’t heard his car leave, but that didn’t mean anything. The minute my head hit the pillow I was out cold.
By the time I reached the door, the person on the other side had started yelling and I couldn’t stop my eyes from rolling. A voice I’d know anywhere. I yanked the door open.
“Why didn’t you use your key?”
Mari stood on my porch. Her one hand still raised to knock, the other settled firmly on her hip. She dropped her hand and shrugged. “Because I forgot it. What took you so long?”
“I was sleeping, like most people would if they were up all night.”
Mari was the lead singer of our band, Jaded Ivory, and my best friend. We met in college freshman year. We were both trying to escape the memories of home and grew close pretty quick. She’d been bullied by the jocks in her class. They’d flat out tortured her. Over the years, I watched her shake off that shell and become a brand-new person. Someone with self-confidence.
Mari stepped around me and into the house, her eyes moving around the room, no doubt taking in the pizza boxes and beer cans scattered throughout it. She looked back at me and lifted a brow as I shut the door. “How many all-nighters have you pulled lately?”
The woman knew me better than anyone else in the world. Well, maybe there was one other, but it had been seven years since the last time I saw him. Even if I did, I’d highly doubt he knew or would want to know anything about me now. Not with the way I left.
“More than I can count.”
Mari flopped onto the couch, her nose scrunched up, and she leaned forward, pulling something out from behind her. She lifted a brow, holding up a drumstick. “Nice to know Heath suffers like I used to.” She tossed the stick at me and laughed.
I caught it mid-air, then dropped into the seat next to her. “Very funny. What are you doing here this early?”
“It’s not early.”
“For you it is. We’re talking about a girl who thought that anything before eleven in the morning might as well be dawn. You’d get up and swear no one should have to get up before it was time to eat lunch.”
Mari held up her hands. “Okay. Okay.” She lifted my arm over her shoulder and snuggled into my chest. I couldn’t help but hold her close. It seemed so long since either of us had the time to sit and talk the way we used to.
“I missed this,” I whispered into her hair.
She snuggled closer. “Me too.”
“You still haven’t told me what you’re doing up so early.”
She sighed. “I was lonely.”
I couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped my lips. “You’re lonely? I’m pretty sure all you have to do is look at Cole and he’s trying to get your clothes off.”
“Pretty much. Except he’s not home. Cole left last night. Hayward has an away game this weekend.”
Cole was Mari’s boyfriend. As a star football player, he had plans to play professional football. At least until he broke his leg. When he couldn’t play anymore, he began coaching. Last year he’d been hired by Hayward, the local university, to coach their offensive line.
“So I’m the backup plan?” I tried to keep the amusement out of my voice, but I should have known she’d see right through me.
Mari sat up and smacked me in the chest. “You’re never the backup plan.” She settled back down against me and whispered, “But I miss seeing you all of the time.”
“I miss you too, but we do see each other almost every day.”
“It’s not the same.”
“I know it’s not, but you’re happy, right?” I asked, a part of me a little jealous, wanting the same happiness for myself.
“So happy.” Mari glanced up at me. “I’m still waiting to hear you found your Prince Charming.”
“I think you’ll be waiting a very long time for that to happen.”
“There’s no one you have your sights set on? We’re in a whole new city. Have you even bothered to look around?”
“I’ve looked,” I said, hoping Mari would leave it alone. Sure, I’d noticed guys throughout the city, but it wasn’t exactly easy to pick them up when you were hiding the fact you were gay from everyone, except your two best friends and Mari’s boyfriend.
“Sawyer, be honest with me.”
“Even if I were looking, how in the hell am I supposed to go on a date without the world finding out?”
She squeezed my waist tighter. “We’re in a bigger city. There’s got to be a way.”
“You know that’s not the way it works. Someone will always be looking to make money off the story if they can.”
“I wish it didn’t have to be that way.”
I tucked my finger under her chin and lifted her face to mine. “It doesn’t have to be. At some point, we’ll have made our way to the t
op and I won’t have to hide anymore.” At least I had to hope it would be that way, or I’d have to wonder what the point of it all was.
“You shouldn’t have to hide who you are for Jaded Ivory.”
“No, but you have to remember there are two sides to that coin. There are enough bigots in the world. I’d have to worry about it impacting our sales. On the other side, I don’t want to become one of the poster boys for gay musicians everywhere and our sales jump because of who I want to sleep with.”
“That wouldn’t—”
“Yes, it would.”
She huffed and I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
“I know you want to make everything right in the world. This may not be something you can fix.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You doubt my abilities? I’m gonna figure this one out if it kills me.”
Oh, Christ. Who the hell knew what she had up her sleeve. When Mari focused on something, she didn’t let it go until she got it. At least this Mari did. Fuck, I’ve helped create a monster. Or at least someone who was going to get me into a boatload of shit. The first time I met Mari, she hid behind long locks of blond hair. Afraid of the world. I thought bringing Mari out of her shell might help us both. Maybe it made me a dick, focusing on her to forget all I’d walked away from. In the end, she’d become the woman sitting beside me, ready to take on the world so I wouldn’t be lonely.
And for years, I hadn’t been. Neither one of us was interested in finding love. We both wanted someone in our bed for the night and that was enough. I had a feeling Mari’s goal was to prove she came out stronger than before. Mari’s bullies had taken their toll on her. Especially when Cole showed up in her life. He’d been part of the crew that made her life a living hell. Since he’d found her again, he’d been going out of his way to make her happy and atone for everything he’d done to her.
Nobody was going to tell her she wasn’t good enough again. Me? I just wanted to fuck him out of my head. Not an easy feat when you were hiding who you were from the world. I spent plenty of nights in college driving an hour or two away from campus to find a guy to hook up with. All to keep my secret. Even from the band. At least most of them.
Heath had been my roommate all through college. It would have been impossible to keep something like that from him. Then again, I didn’t want to try and hide that part of me in college. In my mind, three years should have been enough time in the closet. Never once did I consider the implications of being in the band. Like I told Mari earlier, I didn’t want who I chose to sleep with to impact Jaded Ivory.
“Don’t hurt yourself trying. I’d hate to get Cole pissed at me.”
She rolled her eyes. “That would never happen.”
“You have that much control over the poor guy?”
She laughed. “No. He’s glad that you and I were never together.”
“Please tell me he’s not still worried about that.”
Mari’s boyfriend, Cole, had gotten into his head that we were sleeping together. She begged me to tell Cole the truth. Not wanting to be the one thing that drove them apart, I gave in and told Cole my secret.
“Not at all.” She moved to sit farther on the edge of the couch and patted my leg. “Now, you’re going to get dressed and come to breakfast with me.”
“Nope. I’m going back to bed. We have that meet and greet tonight.”
It wasn’t something we could miss. Jaded Ivory had worked too hard to get to this point. Once Mari joined the band, our popularity had exploded, leading to our first recording deal with LiteStar Records.
Mari poked me in the chest. “And you can take a nap later. Now go get dressed. We’re going to get pancakes and figure out how to get you a man without anyone finding out.”
“Mari,” I warned, even though I knew it wouldn’t do any good.
“Don’t even try it, Sawyer. Go. Get. Dress.” She pulled her phone from her bag. “I’ll wait here.”
There was no point in arguing with her. Even if I tried to go back to bed, she’d find a way to wake me back up. “Fine,” I grumbled.
“Just remember, the faster you get changed and we leave, the faster you can get back here and grab a nap before the meet and greet.”
I walked into my room and eyed the bed. Sleep or breakfast with Mari? She had a point. Most of the time we spent together anymore was with the whole band. With her moving in with Cole, we lost that extra time alone. I pulled the T-shirt over my head and tossed it on the bed. I’d sleep later. I may not want to deal with finding a guy for a random hookup, but I’d still take Mari’s company. By Sunday, Cole would be back. No reason to not sleep then.
After a quick shower, I threw on a clean T-shirt and jeans. Mari was still sitting on the couch with her phone in her hand when I went back to the living room.
She looked me over. “Ready?”
I gestured to the door. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER 2
Sawyer
It seemed as if we’d been sitting at the meet and greet forever. I honestly never thought that many people would show up, but the excitement of it all was weaning the longer we stayed, the exhaustion from the last week of no sleep slowly taking its toll. By the time we’d gotten back from breakfast, Heath was home and all hope for sleep went down the drain. I handed back the poster with a forced smile, hoping the fan in front of me didn’t notice. My eyes landed on the poster in the next person’s hand. Without bothering to look up, which I knew made me an asshole, I kept the smile plastered on my face as I took the poster and began signing my name.
“The least I could get is a real smile.”
Shit.
My first thought was that I’d been caught faking it, when the words played over and over in my head. I know that voice. Afraid to have my suspicions confirmed, I lifted my head slowly to meet green eyes I never thought I’d see again. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. It was as if my tongue was tied in knots, not to mention that my brain wasn’t firing correctly. I just sat and stared.
Reagan.
Of course the man was as sexy as ever. The T-shirt stretching across his chest to pull tight on the well-defined muscles of his biceps. The clean-shaven face of my memories was no more, a slight five o’clock shadow in its place. I swallowed hard, trying to push down the nerves at seeing him again. It’d been almost seven years since I’d left Reagan at home. The day I parked my car down the street from his house, I sat there for hours mustering up the nerves to tell him the secret I’d kept from him for years, only to drive away long after midnight without ever having knocked on his door.
Now, he stood before me, watching me, waiting for some type of reaction, that I apparently was almost incapable of giving. But this man had been my best friend since we were seven years old. There was no reason I couldn’t talk to him. Eleven years was a lot of time to throw away.
“What are you doing here?”
One brow quirked up. “Friends eleven years and that’s the best opening line you can give me? I was hoping for something more along the lines of hi, how have you been?”
I shook my head. “Sorry about that. You took me by surprise, is all. Hi, how are you?”
The corner of his lip turned up in a smile so familiar, a bit of the tension left my shoulders. “That’s better, but I don’t mind answering your question first. I went to law school at Hayward. Got a job in the city and saw you’d be doing a meet and greet in the area. Figured I’d come and see you.”
“A lawyer?”
“Yeah, one more—” The sound of a throat clearing came from behind me. Reagan looked over his shoulder and back at me. “Sorry, I don’t mean to hold up the line.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I noticed the line behind him getting longer. That was the thing about sitting directly to the left of Mari. The people usually got their stuff signed by her, then jumped in your line.
“I’d really like to catch up. Think we could meet up for a drink after you’re done?”
&nbs
p; My head screamed at me to come up with some kind of excuse why I couldn’t meet him, but my dick, which had perked up at the sight of him, and my heart were leading the charge. I’d been in love with Reagan since I was sixteen years old. Now with him standing there in front of me, I knew if given the chance I would be again. My dick was half hard with him simply being in the room. Somehow I knew sitting down with him, even for only one drink, was going to screw with my head. Always a glutton for punishment, I nodded. “Yeah, that would be good. We have another half an hour, if you don’t mind waiting.”
“Not at all.” He threw his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll let you get back to it.”
“I won’t be long.”
“Take your time. I can wait.”
I knew his words had their own double meaning. He’d had to wait for seven years for a chance to talk. There was no doubt in my mind he’d want to know why I’d disappeared without a word all those years ago. I knew he’d checked in with my parents more than once over the years, and it had to be frustrating for him when they wouldn’t give him any hint of where I went. Before I’d left I told my parents I was gay, completely prepared for them to kick me out. What I hadn’t expected was for them to tell me they loved me no matter what and promised to keep my secret.
I pasted a smile on my face, more than aware that Reagan watched me from the other side of the room. My stomach clenched into knots, getting tighter and tighter as time ticked away on the clock. Each signature meant another minute closer to sitting down with Reagan. And I had no idea what to tell him. Besides my parents, three other people knew the truth and it wasn’t the whole band. Was I ready to tell Reagan? Was he ready for the entire truth? Something told me the answer was no.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mari watching me. Besides Reagan, she could read me better than anyone else. She’d be able to see the fake smile on my face. No doubt in my mind, she’d pull me aside later and demand answers.
As I got closer to the end of my line, my heart pounded so hard in my chest, I wondered if everyone in the room could hear each beat. Tom, our manager from the label, stepped into the room, probably getting ready to escort out the last few people. Before he had a chance to say anything, I waved him over. He bent down close to keep the fans from hearing what he had to say.
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