“Not a view the magistrates share,” murmured Alice.
“Indeed not. And they hold me responsible, so it is up to me to make sure our men are not discovered. Go inside, Alice, and keep yourself and the babe warm. The owner of the vessel has information on the people sailing in it. I’ll find out all I can.”
Alice pulled the little bundle closer to her chest and knew that she’d already lost her heart to the babe. And that it would break it if she had to let him go.
“I’m sorry, Alice, but there’s still a possibility that the babe has family who wishes to take him in. You must be prepared for that.”
She couldn’t bring herself to speak because she knew that she was quite unprepared for that. But she’d make herself do whatever she had to do. Hadn’t she always?
“But, while we try to trace the relatives, the babe can stay at Wanham in your care. The magistrates agree. It’s one less problem for them to worry about.”
They both looked down at the sleeping babe. She tried to smile at William but failed. “You must go and work with the magistrates. Your people need you.”
“Aye,” he squeezed her arm and returned to the group of men where the voices were already becoming raised, and Sir Harry was trying to calm them. He’d been playing for time.
Alice returned inside the Hall, and Katherine immediately called to her. Reluctantly Alice surrendered the sleeping babe to her maid and went and checked on one particular patient, who was now delirious.
Alice dropped to her knees. “But he seemed all right when we went to bed.”
“He’s just started acting like this.”
Alice quickly checked and found that a wound was deeper than they’d first thought. She shook her head to Katherine, who crossed herself.
“All we can do is make him comfortable,” said Alice.
She gave him a potion of hemlock to try to make her unaware of what was going on and then sat back and cuddled Charles.
It wasn’t until the sun had risen in the guileless sky that it shone upon the face of the man which no longer moved. The servants removed the body, and Alice returned to the Hall where only Celestria paced.
She swept her arm in the general direction of the village. “They’ve all gone there to find any looters. Not that they will. By God’s teeth, I hope they don’t! I know they won’t!”
“Celestria!” admonished Katherine. Alice wasn’t sure if Katherine was more shocked by Celestria’s swearing or by the fact Celestria appeared to know something about the looting.
Celestria ignored her elder sister and paused mid-pace and tapped her fist against her lips. “No, they won’t catch anyone.”
Katherine tilted her head in inquiry. “How can you be so certain?”
For the first time, Celestria looked up at her and gave a quick smile. “You know me, Katherine, I’m certain of everything!”
Katherine and Alice watched Celestria stride out of the room, and then run up the stairs. “She has a hand in it,” said Katherine blankly. “She might be against them looting but she’ll defend her people to the death.” She blinked and turned a frowning face to Alice. “Alice, what am I to do? Celestria is impossible!”
Alice shifted the babe so that he lay against her shoulder and put her arm around Katherine. “You’ve done all you can do for her. You’ve given her guidance, and the rest is up to her.”
Katherine watched Celestria burst through the door with her cloak flying behind her and run outside. “And I have a feeling Celestria hasn’t taken to heart my guidance. If there’s a drama anywhere, she’ll be in the midst of it.” She gnawed her lip. “I’ll have Warin go after her.”
Katherine went in search of Warin, leaving Alice and the baby. She sat by the crackling fire, an oasis of calm as maids and men worked around her. She wasn’t needed anywhere else, so enjoyed her time playing with Charles, discovering his personality, and marveling at his beauty.
It wasn’t until late afternoon that William returned.
Alice looked up immediately. He caught her gaze and turned away to toss aside his cloak. She poured him a glass of wine and brought him some left-over victuals from their morning meal.
He took a swig of much-needed wine and then looked at her thoughtfully. “How are you and the babe?”
“Charles is very good, very placid, so long as he eats regularly.”
William laughed. “A typical boy, then.” His laughter faded as he caught her hand in his. “And you? You’ve told me naught about how you fare.”
Alice shrugged. “There’s little to tell. I’ve helped where I can and been caring for Charles. There’s a lot to learn.”
“I’m sure. But you seem to have adapted quickly. He looks content.” When she looked up, he caught her gaze. “As do you. More so than I’ve ever seen you before.”
She glanced around. The place was full of people, and she didn’t want to divulge to everyone just how different caring for Charles had made her feel. It was like a shell had been broken from around her. She seemed more aware of William, of his feelings and thoughts, of the girls, of everyone. It was as if color had suddenly come into her life. And she realized how much she’d cut herself off from feeling. Well, the shell had broken, whether she liked it or not. Allowing in good things, and no doubt, bad things. But there was nothing bad around her at the moment, nothing that could hurt her. On the contrary. But that was for a later conversation when they were alone.
“Please, tell me how you fared today, William. Did you satisfy the justices?”
He smiled as if he realized what she was doing. “There were two men I suspected had taken off with booty from last night’s storm. And I tried to delay—it would have fallen bad on their families, as well as us—but the men must have been tipped off. For when we reached their homes, neither of them were to be found.”
“That was lucky.”
“I doubt luck had much to do with it.” He looked around. “What time did Celestria return?”
She frowned. “Late. Why?”
He sighed and placed his cup on the table. “Because I found Celestria at the last house we went to.”
Alice gasped. “Did the justices recognize her?”
“I don’t think so. She raised her hood and slipped past me. Acting like a quiet, demure, innocent girl.” He huffed. “A new role for her.”
“Do you think she had a hand in this?”
“Most certainly. She went ahead of us and tipped them off. No doubt gave them the funds with which to disappear.”
“So, they’re safe.”
“And we’re safe. Thanks to Celestria and her love for drama.”
“But she also has a good heart. She did what she did to protect your people.”
“Aye, it is true. But there’s a big part of me that wished she didn’t. She’s my sister, and the scrapes she’s getting herself into are getting bigger and bigger. I fear that one day…”
He trailed off, but Alice knew what he feared. For it was the same as she did. One day Celestria would take a step too far, and it would be the worse for her.
“You cannot know. Mayhap…”
“Mayhap, it might not come to pass. But most likely, it will.” He finished eating. “Now, tell me about your day. How was the babe?”
“A little unsettled, but I’ve held him close all morning.”
He smiled and nodded. “Don’t get too close, Alice. He may be claimed yet.” Their gaze met and held a world within it. He rose. “Come, join me in the solar. I would have a little privacy.”
She checked on Charles, who was still sleeping in the cot beside the fire, attended by the maid and Lora.
William stepped aside, and she entered the empty room first. Then she heard him close the door and they were alone.
He came close to her, but she didn’t step away, simply raised her face to his with a smile. She had a feeling she knew what he was about to do, and, for once, she wasn’t of a mind to deny him.
He raised his hand to her face and gently ran
the back of his fingers down her cheek. “You are so beautiful.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a sound, his mouth had claimed hers in a kiss as powerful as it was surprising.
There could be no doubt that his kiss was possessive, something which she’d always feared, but it wasn’t fear which was making her move her hands around him, holding him firm where he could explore her lips. He gasped and pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I should not have done that. I—”
“William!”
“It was overly familiar. Too soon. It was—”
“Exactly right. William, can you not feel my hands still gripping you? Not wanting you to move away? You’re right, something in me had changed. I’m not afraid to feel anymore.”
But before he could answer, Katherine knocked on the door and looked from one to the other of them. “I’m sorry, Alice, but Charles has awoken, and we can’t seem to comfort him like you do.”
Alice rushed into the Hall where she picked up the wailing Charles and held him close. She didn’t jiggle him as she’d seen others do but held him steady, and his cries soon turned into quiet hiccups.
“You have a way with him, that’s for sure,” said Lora, watching her astutely. “But, what’s going to happen to him when he leaves here?”
“He won’t leave here,” said Katherine. “Not unless a close relative turns up out of the blue, and it doesn’t seem there are any. No, I think it’s clear. Who better to look after him than Alice?”
“Maybe someone who’s married?” suggested Sir Harry, looking scandalized at the prospect of an unmarried woman taking on someone else’s baby.
They all looked at William. “Aye, you’re right, Sir Harry,” said William. “Whoever cares for Charles should be married.”
Alice gasped. She couldn’t believe William would take the babe from her.
He cleared his throat, and before them all dropped to one knee. “Lady Alice de Courcy, I’m offering you my hand in marriage. Will you accept?”
Alice couldn’t believe her ears. The whoops and cheers of the crowded Hall receded into a dull roar. All she could see was William kneeling before her, his eyes fixed on her, and all she was aware of was the lack of any word of love. But it was William, and it was Charles.
“Come on, Alice!” yelled Celestria, so loudly, she couldn’t help but hear. “What do you say?”
Alice licked her lips, her heart pounding, tight in her chest. Could she do this? Could she pledge herself to William after everything that had happened, after so many years of resigning herself to spinsterhood?
“Please, Alice,” said Katherine, half-laughing, half in despair, “don’t keep me guessing. I cannot stand it.”
Charles gurgled in her arms. She looked down, and he smiled at her. She smiled back and lifted her face to William.
“Aye, I will.”
Chapter 12
The uproar pulsed in Alice’s ears, but she didn’t look around. Someone took the baby from her arms, and she held William’s stunned gaze. She wondered if he’d heard her, but before she could repeat the words, a look of joy spread across his face, and he beamed.
“Yes!” he said as he gripped Alice by the waist and twirled her around. She cried out in surprise but was set back on her feet before she knew where she was. She reached out for William to steady herself, and he pulled her into his arms. “Yes!” he repeated, and this time he kissed her in front of everyone.
The shock was quickly followed by a weakening in her limbs, which made her grasp him even tighter. She was beginning to be oblivious to her surroundings, aware only of his kiss when he pulled away, and with a sigh set her back on her feet. He held one hand tightly as he looked around at his family. “She said, yes!” he said.
“Of course she did, Will!” said Celestria, hugging Alice. “Why wouldn’t she?”
Katherine smiled at Alice, knowing full well why she might have said “no”. “Indeed, Will, do you doubt your charms?”
“Aye,” he said, squeezing Alice’s hand. “I have none. I am what I am. And I feared it wasn’t enough.”
All through these exchanges, Alice’s mind was numb. The words of the proposal and her response tracked over and over until she began to believe them.
His last words broke the spell. “You are more than I deserve, William.”
“Nay, lass, don’t ever think that,” he said, huskily.
Lora made a puking noise behind them. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I’m never going to get married.”
“Then more fool you,” said Celestria. “I’m going to marry someone rich and powerful and exciting, and have a wonderful life.”
“If you marry someone rich and powerful and exciting, you’ll have no life. You’ll be tied to them, forced to do whatever they’re doing, following their orders,” retorted Lora.
Katherine choked on her laughter. “Celestria, following orders? I’d like to see that.”
“You will if she marries someone rich and powerful and exciting,” said Lora.
“You do what you want. Katherine will no doubt marry someone dull and worthy, and Lora can be an outlaw if she chooses, but I know what I want. And, today, I want to plan your wedding, Alice. May I?”
Alice had been vaguely listening to the chatter, glad of it because it diverted the attention from her and William, who continued to hold her hand fast. He’d said nothing about love, she reminded herself. Mayhap it was merely the child and his strong sense of loyalty which had prompted the proposal. Mayhap her disclosure of her past had soured his interest in her.
“Can I?” repeated Celestria. “Can I arrange your wedding feast?”
Alice forced herself to attend. She gave a quick smile. “Aye, if you like.”
Celestria shrieked and clapped her hands. “We’ll invite everyone, there will be music and dancing—”
Alice exchanged a glance with Katherine.
“I think Alice would prefer something more dignified than that!” said Katherine. “We will do it together.” She nodded to Alice, who was reassured that Katherine would be able to curb Celestria’s excesses. But no matter, she knew that with Celestria’s input, it would be fun.
“When will it happen?” asked Katherine.
“The sooner, the better,” said William.
The rest of the day was spent in speculation as to the wedding feast by the sisters, while William’s men insisted on celebrating by raiding the castle’s wine stores. Alice could scarcely believe it had happened. As each hour passed, with the babe asleep, Alice’s fears grew once more. What had she agreed to? She loved William as a friend, but she’d be more than a friend. She’d have to lie with him in his bed. His kisses had been persuasive, but she knew, from bitter experience, that there was a lot more to a relationship than a kiss. After what she’d been subjected to, she didn’t know how she’d react to his advances. And, if she did accept them, would the act change her feelings toward him?
Should she change her mind? The thought of its impact on Charles, as well as William’s sisters, would have been enough to stop her from changing her mind, without the knowledge of how much it would hurt William. But she did need to voice her fears.
When the maid informed Alice that Charles was crying and couldn’t be comforted, she was pleased to be able to go to him. The excited women continued to talk of weddings, and William stoically endured the butt of jokes from his men.
It seemed Charles had some kind of teething problem, and after rubbing some herbal ointment onto his gums, it took Alice some time for him to settle.
Eventually, she slept beside him. It was a creak in the floorboards which alerted her to someone else’s presence. She flickered open her eyelids, checked on Charles, who lay sleeping peacefully now, the redness in his cheeks abated and his breathing even. Then a shadow moved. She started.
“It is only me,” said William, coming forward into the light of the fire.
“Oh, you startled me.”
; “I knocked, but there was no response, and I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
Alice slid her feet onto the floor and pushed her hair out of her face. “I’ve been asleep. Charles was teething.”
William came and looked down at him. “He looks peaceful now.”
“I gave him something for the discomfort, and he eventually quieted. It’ll pass in a few days.”
She rose, and they both looked down at the sleeping babe. Alice suddenly felt uncomfortable, aware of the intimacy of the situation. Gently, she scooped up Charles and lay him in the cot. This time, he didn’t murmur, but continued to sleep, exhausted by his earlier outburst.
“You have a way with that babe, Alice,” said William, coming to her side.
She continued to look at Charles. “I think it’s the other way around. He has a way with me. I feel different when I’m with him. As if I’m doing what I’m meant to do, for the first time in my life.”
William didn’t reply, and eventually, Alice turned to him to see tears in his eyes. “My heart aches for you, Alice. I wish I could turn back time and prevent what happened to you, but I can’t. All I can do is be here for you now, and promise you that I’ll never hurt you.”
“I know, William. You are a good man. But…” How could she explain her fears?
“But what?”
“I know you have no wish to hurt me. But it doesn’t stop me from being afraid. And when I’m scared, it’s as if winter has come to my soul. As if the heat of my body has leached away, as if…” She hesitated and closed her eyes as she tried to find the words to describe how she felt. She opened her eyes. “As if I’ve become a block of ice.”
As if to underline her words, a slice of silver moonlight shone across the floor from a crack in the shutters. It seemed to chill and flicker the rosy glow from the candle, which was all but sputtering now, having been lit hours earlier.
Honoring his Lady: A Medieval Romance (Norfolk Knights Book 5) Page 12