by Samantha Bee
Holden laughs. "How's it feel to be on the other side of it?"
The look of amusement and evil glint in her eyes warns me that we are not going to like whatever comes out of her mouth next. "Oh. So, you want to do suicides today?"
The taunt dies on his lips as his face pales. He groans, "We already ran ten miles."
"You should remember that the next time you want to taunt your boss, huh?" She grins and goes to pull Roe from my arms, but I pull away and act like I hadn't seen her reaching for her.
"Ooo, bad break, guys," I console them. "I'd love to run with you, but you know." I lift Roe in my arms slightly and run my hand down her back. "Sleeping kid and all that."
They roll their eyes at me before looking to Scar, waiting to see how she reacts. "Give me our girl and get to it." She says it simply, but in her no nonsense tone. I grumble as I hand Roe off, knowing if I put up any more of a fight Scar will come kick my ass herself. As much as I'm not in Kade or Luca's league, no one is in Scar's. She’s a vicious little savage.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I didn't actually make them do suicides. I might be cruel but I'm not a sadist. Okay, not a total sadist.
I tucked Roe into a pile of blankets and got all the boys settled too. I knew that once they were laying down, they would fall asleep easily. They wouldn't risk messing around and waking her up. I think Charlene might actually be grateful to take on the extra kid because of how the boys all respond to her. She just needs Roe to agree to something to get all of their agreement.
Now, I stand back as I watch the guys run through the exercises I did give them. I am actually pretty impressed with how far they've come since I first took over their training. I know that Tyler, Ian, and Holden were surprised how a few simple changes to their routines improved their speed and agility.
Kade even tells me that they've been improving in the rings and taken what I've taught them and applied to the way they're training now. Kade hasn't had much of an active role in training fighters as he used to since becoming more preoccupied with all of the other aspects of our business. Primarily the rescue missions and assassinations he runs with me.
Having the guys take over freed up a lot of his time. It's not like the three of them were slouches on their own either. They could handle their own and each had impressive records before I ever came into their lives.
All three of them have the same drive in them that pushes them to need the fights. The same way that Kade does. He can never stay out of the ring for long. I need the thrill of the chase. Hunting down my enemies and taking them out. I need the feeling of warm blood running through my fingers. I know something in me broke that day eight years ago.
I'm okay with that though. It's like Kade said. We all have our brand of damage. I heal mine by gutting other people. They heal theirs by smashing people's faces with their fists. Po-tay-to. Po-tah-to. Life isn't about finding people who make you feel normal. Fuck normal. Life is about finding people who match your crazy.
All these fuckers just so happen to match mine. I'm not sure what that says about them, but I find myself to be rather fond of them all. More so than I think I ever realized before coming back. They've all weaseled their way under my skin, albeit all in very different ways.
Family.
I guess we really are one big fucking family now. The way we all have seamlessly come together. It's hard to imagine my life without any of them. The laughter and constant noise now a soundtrack that seems to soothe the worst of my long buried pain.
My eyes drift over to Britt where she's talking to Noah as they watch Ian and Ronan spar. Ronan and Mikey hardly ever jump into the rings. Not that they can't win fights, because they can more than hold their own in our rings, they just don't have the same beast of aggression as the others.
They purge their damage into their art. Those boys bleed ink and rage to the sound of their tattoo guns. It's why I'm obsessed with their work. Not only are their techniques flawless, but they also bring their pieces to life in a way I rarely ever see captured in a tattoo. They temper their demons without the need of violence, doesn't mean they don't enjoy our methods too though.
Plus, I love putting them in the rings. They're fucking beasts. The biggest men I've ever met. They both have at least a couple of inches on Kade and more than a few pounds. Fighting them takes more strategy. The guys can never get too much practice with that.
I can tell Ian is starting to tire. They pushed themselves too hard in the run today. Fucking idiots.
That's okay. I guess I can't really blame them. I know exactly why Ryder was practically floating through the route. Having Roe choose you as a parent makes you feel like you can own the world. I know it well. I feel that way every time that sweet girl calls me momma. I can't lie that it feels right for her to accept all of them too. Even if my heart hard did momentarily stop when she first called Ry "Daddy."
I chuckle to myself. The Daddies. Fucking priceless.
I can see the extra energy all my guys have today. Even Declan and Noah look like they’re itching for something and they aren't even here to train. I make my way over to where they stand with Britt. As I get closer, I can see the way her eyes look slightly glazed and she bites into her lower lip, watching the way Ronan blocks hit after hit from Ian.
I call out. "Mikey, jump into the ring with Ronan." They both stop what they were doing to give me confused looks but I just grin. Mikey shrugs as he hops in and I call out orders for my trainees to start their wind downs. I know they won't have much steam left anyways.
As Mikey and Ronan both strip their shirts off and start to warm up together, I wink at Britt. "You're welcome."
She laughs, taking out her phone to snap pictures. "You are a great friend."
I laugh as I turn and seek out my men. Kade and Luca are still at each other's throats in the ring. It's been a long time since I've seen them let loose like this with each other. I know it's not in anger though. It's their way of releasing the extra energy that becoming dads gave them.
I'd say it's silly since they all really were already acting as parental figures, but I can't. There's nothing in the world quite like hearing your child call you mommy or daddy. Having Roe be the one who decided to give us the honor only makes the entire thing that much more special. I don't think any of us are worthy of that girl but damn if we won't be sure to do our best for her.
I move closer to where they fight, laughing, sweating, and bleeding as they trade punches. Britt probably had the right idea with taking out her phone. Holy hot men. They really do look fucking good like this.
Destructive. Deadly. Decadent.
I would not mind licking along the lines of their abs.
"Does that make you hot, baby girl?" I hadn't realized Noah and Declan had followed me over here but I sure as hell notice with the way he presses up against me. I don't even have a chance to answer his first question before he's whispering in my ear his next one. "If I were to dip my fingers into these shorts, would I find you already dripping?"
A surge of warmth rushes through me. Well fuck. If I wasn't before, I would be now.
Declan chuckles beside me and I can feel the heat spread to my cheeks as I sneak a quick look at him. Did he hear what Noah said? By the smug look on Noah's face that I catch out of the corner of my eye, I would guess yes.
"You're cute when you blush, pretty girl."
Oh fuck. The growing amusement in his tone is doing all sorts of things to me now. I feel the blush intensifying. Fuck me.
Noah's fingers slide down my spine, making me break out in shivers. "How interesting. Scar hardly ever blushes."
Before anyone has a chance to respond to that observation, I'm pulled away from Noah and swept off my feet. I look up and meet Kade's grinning face. "I won."
I look over his shoulder to find Luca grumbling. I cock a brow as my eyes move back to Kade and follow the drop of blood leaving a trail down the side of his face. I probably shouldn't want to lick it, but for some reason I
really really do.
I bite my lip instead, moving my focus back to his eyes. "And what did you win?"
His grin turns taunting, clearly pleased I took the bait. "It seems I already collected my prize."
I laugh and slap his chest. "Put me down. We aren't done with training."
Ryder comes over panting. "No, I agree. We should be done with training for today." Nods start all around the room and I can't help but roll my eyes at the lot of them.
Joe chuckles from somewhere behind me. "How about we barbeque back at our place?"
"Can we have pie, Pops?" Roe pops up out of her pillow fort like one of those jack in the boxes as she shrieks across the gym. The boys sleepily start to rise up, looking dazed and confused at the sudden wake up call.
I laugh. Roe really is a sucker for food. I can't believe how quickly she was able to wake up just over the thought about pie. I don't think even I am this bad.
"I'm sure Grandma will make you her special chocolate pie." Charlene is already smiling and nodding.
"Well fuck. I'm sold." Cheers sound throughout the room and I scoff but otherwise ignore them as Kade carries me out of the gym.
I move around the kitchen as I start to make dinner for everyone.
I didn’t really cook when it was just me and D, but I find that I really missed being in the kitchen and messing around with different recipes. It’s one of those things that doesn’t seem like a big deal at the time but looking back it was everything.
One of the little moments that took us from being whatever we were to something more. A small piece of the chaos that fits together to make us the family that we’ve become.
I’ve loved being able to slip right back into a slice of the normalcy that we had created. The guys tend to drift in and out of the kitchen as I work to just watch me or hang out for a bit. It feels so mundane and trivial. The complete opposite of everything that our lives are. I cherish these small moments of peace even if I’m the one who creates and thrives in most of our destruction. I can still admit it’s nice to have both. Nice isn’t a word I use frequently but I just might be going soft after all.
I sigh as I slip the chicken back into the fridge to marinate for a little bit. I look around but no one is around yet. Luca had to go do some bookkeeping at Steel Roses. I could have gone but that sounded boring. Declan had to go to work today and won’t be around until later tonight or even not until tomorrow. I’m not sure where Noah went but he left this morning dressed in slacks, a button down and a tie. Ryder got home late last night after going out with the other guys, but I heard him leaving not all that long ago. And Kade… he should be around here somewhere, but I haven’t seen him in a while.
I hum to myself as I try to figure out what is something I could do while I wait. I haven’t been this bored since I came back. I’m not used to being alone anymore. Not even for a short amount of time like this.
I run my fingers along the counter when something catches my eye on the dining table. I move over and pick the book up in my hands. This is the book Kade was reading at Jade’s the other day. The one that I thought had a pretty cover. I flip through the pages before turning it over to read the back.
I wonder if Kade has finished it yet.
Just as I start to read what it’s actually about, it’s ripped from out of my hands. “What are you doing?” Kade scowls at me and I give him the same look back, narrowing my eyes.
“I was just looking.” I huff out a breath. “I thought you always wanted me to read the books you’re reading.”
His eyes soften even as he tightens his hold on the book. My eyebrows draw up and I can’t help the increase of my curiosity. The more he tries to keep it away from me, the more I’m dying to read it.
He must see that because he sighs and relaxes his posture. “Of course you can read my books.” He hums as he looks over my shoulder, silently debating with himself about something. “Let’s just not start with Follow the River.”
I watch him carefully, noting the subtle blush creeping his neck. I have to fucking know what it is about this book that has him so flustered. “Why not?”
He looks down at me, holding my eyes for a second. “If I ask you nicely to drop this, will you?”
“Not a chance in hell,” I snark, getting ready to throw all his words about not having to hide, back at him but he beats me to it.
He rolls his eyes as he pulls out his phone, typing even as he levels me with a glare. “Aren’t you feeling bratty today?”
“What are you going to do? Spank me?” I taunt. I didn’t really think I would ever be into the more submissive stuff. Being choked and having my ass slapped during sex was always one thing, but willingly giving up control? Letting him pull me over his knee and punish me? I never thought I would be into it but fuck. I’m wet even just thinking about it.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” His expression is full of something that I can’t quite decipher. My pulse races and my heart skips a beat. Butterflies pooling in my stomach as my panties grow damper.
“Perfect timing,” he calls out. My forehead wrinkles in confusion until I realize he isn’t speaking to me.
I turn and watch as Noah walks into the kitchen, his eyes roaming over both of us as he slips his tie off. Oh. Somehow, I already know I’m fucked. I clench my thighs from the heat in his eyes and the way he draws out every movement, building up my anticipation from across the room with his slow and precise movements. This must be who Kade pulled out his phone to text. I can already tell they have something planned.
He stalks towards me, every bit the predator in this situation. I can’t help but back away from him even as Kade chuckles somewhere to the left of me. I don’t take my eyes off the current bigger threat though. Noah doesn’t always get like this, dominant and demanding. But when he does? Fuck. When he does. Literally, fuck me. My panties practically disintegrate when he gets that special glint in his eyes.
I vowed to myself to never be prey after that day, to never allow myself to be forced to my knees again. I vowed to bring the world down before I ever allowed someone to hold power over me. Again. And yet, I feel nothing but excitement at being at their mercy. My biggest fear was being powerless, but it seems I’ve learned a few things since then. There’s power in letting go, peace in giving up the reigns, beauty in the chaos. I refuse to live on my knees, but I just might vacation there if I’m with my men. My men. Wow. I’m still getting used to claiming them as mine, but how could I not at this point? I was anything but okay without them. I know I fucked up and I’ve been doing my best to make it up to them.
I back right up into the fridge and only halt after bumping into the cool metal of it. Noah smirks, it’s filled with desire and wicked intent. My favorite kind. He continues to move towards me until we stand toe to toe and he’s leaning over me. I have to press backwards and tilt my head up to keep our gazes locked. I see the amusement and pleasure swirling in his blue eyes at having backed me into the corner. “Exactly where I wanted you,” he hums, and I can’t suppress the shiver that runs through me.
He gestures with his head and all of a sudden, the body heat doubles as Kade joins us. Oh fuck. I am in so much trouble.
Kade’s dark and dangerous chuckle fills my ear and I feel myself tensing in anticipation for what the two of them have planned. He drags his tongue up my shoulder before nipping my ear. “You have some wrongs to right, don’t you think?” His voice is lower than I think I’ve ever heard it and trust me, I have heard Kade turned on. This is different, a heavier, more emotional type of lust.
I slowly nod my agreement as Noah’s own voice mimics the same cadence. I think they planned this little stunt. They are way too in sync to not have. These two always were able to connect faster than my emotionally inept ass could understand. “You left us.” His voice not carrying any accusation, only stating a fact, though the censure is clear.
I swallow, once again nodding. Kade moves in between me and the fridge so I’m sandwiched between
them. He traces his tongue down the opposite side of my neck, stopping to bite when he reaches my shoulder. “Naughty, naughty, Scarlett.” Oh fuck. He full-named me.
I am in so much trouble.
Noah hums as he grabs my chin in his hand and forces my eyes to meet his, “We can’t let that type of behavior go unpunished, now can we?” His grip is so tight, I can’t even nod to acknowledge his words this time.
It’s only when Kade rumbles out his agreement, “Nope, can’t do that,” that I realize he wasn’t talking to me. Why do I feel like I’m about to have the best sex my body has ever experienced and the most exquisite pain my heart can endure? These men are not messing around.
I should be nervous, I should be scared. All I feel is the tingling of excitement coursing through me as I wait to see just what they have planned.
“Get her undressed,” Noah snaps out to Kade. My heart rate skyrockets, and my breathing instantly becomes more shallow. Kade and Noah have been sleeping with me almost every night together this week, but we haven’t had sex like this since that first time. With Noah being in charge of my pleasure, our pleasure. I’m addicted to something about giving it up to him. Letting him dictate when and how I come. How deep and sure his voice gets when he gets all domineering. When I really am his baby girl.
Noah takes a step away from me but keeps his eyes on us. Kade doesn’t hesitate in following his instructions, quickly stripping me until I’m standing bare in the kitchen. The whole time Noah slowly threads his tie through his fingers. Back and forth. Back and forth. As soon as I’m naked, he tosses the tie to Kade and nods to the fridge. “Face the fridge, Scar.”
I raise my brows in slight confusion but the quick look he gives me stops me from making any protests. I turn and face the fridge despite not understanding where they’re going with this. As soon as I’m looking at it, Noah gives his next command, and it becomes a little more clear. “Grab the handles.” I put my hands at the bottom and Kade moves up behind me and adjusts my hands until they are at about the height of my belly button. Once satisfied with where they are, he takes the tie and weaves it through my hands and securely fastens it to the fridge handles. I give it a few tugs to see how much room I have but only succeed in tightening it around my wrists. I curse, causing both men to give self-satisfied laughs. Bastards.