“Tuesday.” She nodded. “I can’t wait.”
I checked the clock. “All right, Kayla. I’ve got to move. Go tell your bunny I said hi.”
She stopped. “You noticed the bunny?”
“I notice everything.”
That wasn’t really true. I tried to notice everything, but I was mortal. But the sheer bravado seemed to make its impression. She gulped, chewed her lip, and nodded. “His name’s Leonardo. He’s a little jerk, but I love him. I’ll tell him all about you.”
I got out of the car and opened the door for her, and when she stepped out, looked up at me and met my gaze with those impossibly blue eyes, the city night seemed to freeze for a second.
I kind of wanted to kiss her.
“Good night,” I said, closing the door behind her.
“Good night,” she breathed. I walked back around the car, back into the driver’s side, and sat in the seat for a minute watching Kayla head back up to her door.
This was such a catastrophically bad idea. I could not date Kayla. There were so many problems with this. I wouldn’t be able to talk to her more than twice a week.
I checked my reflection in the vanity mirror, ran my hand through my hair. I knew full well the only reason I’d ever agreed to let Kayla teach me the meaning of fun or whatever was because I was lonely and wanted to spend time around someone interesting, but I didn’t have the time to socialize. Especially not when I was going to get attracted to her.
I probably should have been figuring out a way to end all this. But…
∞∞∞
The meeting went well. Bared my heart—or bared the heart of Melissa the executive, who until very recently I thought was the only part of me that existed—and talked through our desperation on the earnings. Sales conversions at the lowest level of the business were fumbling, and worst of all, we had no idea what might have caused it. Didn’t go with any bad news or anything, just suddenly dropped. We had a long, productive discussion, only finishing at midnight, when he realized how late he was keeping me, his jet lag still telling him it was one in the afternoon.
I had a voicemail when I got home. I wasn’t surprised—not until I saw it was from my sister.
I need to talk to you about the shower, she said on the recording. Call me back when you can.
I texted her, saying I’d only just gotten home. She called again almost right away, and I felt like I was facing the music for something as I answered.
“Hey, Trish,” I said. “What’s the matter?”
“Hey,” she said, sounding glum. “You’re in a pretty bad place right now, aren’t you?”
“What?” I sat down on my sofa, the sofa I used about twice a week, tops. “What are you talking about?”
“You’ve barely been responding to my texts, usually after midnight. So I figured you were probably overworking again, I looked up the company and apparently you guys have been having a really bad quarter or… something.”
I let out a sigh that came out angrier than I’d meant it to. “Yeah. And a lot of it’s directly under my purview. Not that I actually have any control over it, just that I’m the one responsible when things go to shit.”
She was quiet. I rubbed my forehead.
“Sorry. It’s something I’ve been trying not to think about too much. Just focusing on one step at a time, trying to make what I can of this.”
“Are you going to… you know.” She sighed. “You’re not going to be able to come.”
“What?” My stomach dropped. “Of course I will. I’ll be there, Trisha.”
“You said that about Christmas.”
My stomach twisted up on itself. God, I’d tried so goddamn hard not to work on Christmas. But David had called me personally, a contingent of four people to work through Christmas. “Trisha, I’m so sorry about that. I’m not going to let it happen again. I promise. Really. I promise.”
“All right,” she said, sounding only half convinced. “And your girlfriend?”
I pursed my lips. “I… she said she’s going to try to make it, but we’ll have to see. She’s pretty busy.”
“Busy with what? What does she do, anyway?”
“She—she runs a business,” I blurted. I knew where my mind was going, and I didn’t like it.
“A business? Oh, god. Don’t tell me she’s another financier.”
“No, no. It’s a small business. Retail… place.”
“Yeah? Selling what?”
I looked over at the jumbo candy selection. “That’s a secret.”
“Oh, yeah?” She sounded skeptical. “What’s her name?”
I fell quiet. My mind was saying one thing, but I didn’t want to say anything.
“Melissa,” she started after a minute. “Is that secret too?”
“Kayla,” I said after way too long.
“Oh, really. Sounds like a generic name.”
I got what she was getting at, but I couldn’t help laughing. “Trust me, she’s anything but generic.”
“You never talked to Mom, either.”
I clenched my jaw. “You’re right. You’re right. I didn’t. I’ll… yeah. I don’t have an excuse. I’ll do that this weekend.”
“All right,” she mumbled.
“What should I get you for your shower?” I blurted. “I’m going to be honest, I’ve never been to a baby shower. I don’t know what you get people at them.”
“Oh—you know—baby stuff, normally.”
“Like… diapers?”
“Can never have too many of those.”
“All right.” I sighed. “Trish, I’m… sorry. I know I haven’t been a good sister.”
“Melissa,” she said, and then a long pause. “You’re trying your best. Don’t make me say this too much because you’re my sister and it makes me gag, but we love you. The only gift we really want is for you to be back. Okay?”
“Ugh,” I said involuntarily.
“What?” She snapped.
“No, just—that’s what Kayla said,” I mumbled. “Now I have to tell her she’s right.”
There was a pause, uncomfortably long, and then she laughed, the first time she’d sounded genuine this whole time. “You’re not telling me she’s actually real, are you?”
I shifted on the sofa, eyes scanning the room involuntarily. “She’s definitely a real person,” I said. Which was true.
“And she’s going to come for the shower?”
I sighed. “We’re going to see. I really hope she can come, but I can’t make her if she can’t go.”
“Yeah. Yeah, guess not.” A pause. “So what’s she like?”
The longer I talked about this, the weirder it got. And it was already weird. Although it wasn’t like I hadn’t already called her my girlfriend…
“She’s the complete opposite of me,” I said. “Imagine someone as different from me as possible. That’s Kayla.”
“Oh, nice. Now I definitely want to meet her.”
I furrowed my brow, but I just said, “We’ll work on it. But I promise I’ll be there, at least. I won’t miss it for anything. I’ve already gotten tickets for the second.”
“I’ll hold you to it. And Mom on the weekend.”
I’d almost forgotten. “Mom on the weekend. All right, Trish, I love you and all, but I need to sleep.”
“Guess so. See you, Mel.”
I dared to breathe out then. She knew I didn’t like being called that, so she only used it when she was in a good mood. “Good night.”
“Tell Kayla I said hi.”
I wondered how she’d react if I did.
Chapter 8
Kayla
I swapped my close on Tuesday to an open, making deals with Alexa to get the close covered. And so I spent my shift just about dancing around the store, even though it was deathly quiet on a Tuesday morning, alternating between checking stock and displays and just dancing to the music.
Melissa texted me to confirm the time and place tonight. It was agonizing
that she barely managed one text a day, but if anything, it just made things more exciting. Every text from her, I read about twenty times over, keeping it in mind as I went to bed. I couldn’t stop reliving the karaoke night. Melissa looking into my eyes while we sang…
I had a crush on her. That was obviously, completely, undeniably true by now. But how was I supposed to impress her even the teensiest, tiniest little bit? She was the executive for an international financial corporation, she was a drop-dead gorgeous pantsuit-rocking lesbian with a gaze that could bore holes through metal, she could have any woman she ever wanted, and she didn’t even like candy. I had nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Except my position teaching her how to have fun. And I was going to cling to that.
The doorbell jingled. I spun with a grin bright enough to put the sun out of a job, sang “Hi! Welcome…” and trailed off when I saw Jacob leaning on the doorframe.
“Kayla, can I talk to you?” he said, and my throat went dry. There was no one here today. No one but me and him. No one to help me. “You haven’t let me talk to you all this time.”
I backed into the wall. “Jacob, please… please don’t. I can’t go back. I don’t want to go back. I have work I love. I have a beautiful girlfriend. It’s over now, Jacob.”
“Kayla, this isn’t you.” He marched towards me. “I don’t know what happened to you. I can’t recognize you anymore. Why are you—why are you dressed like that?”
I folded my arms under my chest, trying to look tough, trying to look like my heart wasn’t going so fast I was about to throw up. “Because this makes me happy. I’m done pretending. I’m done with putting up a show. This is the kind of thing that makes me happy.”
“I know what you like, Kayla,” he said, standing over me. I remembered when he’d backed me into a corner. I felt the bruises again even though they were healed by now. “You like success. You like development. You wanted to be the best. Not… this.” He gestured at my outfit like it was made of trash. “You had some pride in yourself. And I know it was hard dealing with your father, but he wants you back. He’s ready to take you in. This is everything, Kayla. It’s what you wanted.”
I shook my head. “It’s what I… it’s what I thought I wanted.”
“Are you going to tell me you want this over that?” he snapped, his voice getting louder, gesturing wildly at the room around us. “You were on your way to the top! We were on our way to the top!”
“I’m going…” I looked down. He was so powerful, so commanding, I couldn’t stand up to him directly. Never could. Thought I’d be stronger here, in my element, but I wasn’t. “I’m going where I need to be… I’m going at the right pace. I-I’m happy. With my girlfriend.”
“Who is she? Did she get you like this?”
I shook my head. “She’s the last person to do this. You…” I squeezed my eyes shut, pictured Melissa’s cocky half-smile while she leaned against her car, and of all things, that was what emboldened me. I looked up, and even though meeting his eyes sent my stomach in flips, I spoke. “You want to talk about the top? She’s at the top. She’s the top of her field. And in case you’re wondering, she’s picking me up later today for a date, and I’m expecting the Maserati today.”
He glared. “I don’t believe you of all people would fall in with someone like that. Not like this, throwing your gifts away. Come back. I can show you plenty better than a Maserati.”
“Jacob, I…” I swallowed. “Please leave. This is my private establishment, and you are no longer welcome here. If you don’t leave and stay away, I will call the police.”
He rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe this. You had everything, Kayla. We were on our way for everything. And you throw it all away for… a candy shop. And not even a popular one.”
“At least our money is legitimate,” I said, my voice low. “I make more honest dollars off each sale than we did in our entire career together.”
He took a step towards me and my bravado crumbled into ash, and I staggered back before he grabbed me by the arm. Tears sprang to my eyes, my body screaming run, but I couldn’t move. “Kayla, you know full goddamn well everything we did was legal. We followed every regulation. We were goddamn poster children of the industry. You try saying things like that, and there will be consequences. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” I gasped. “I understand.”
He let go, spun on his heel and marched away. I put a hand to my throat, just trying to breathe through the panic.
He stormed out of the building without a word. I sank slowly, slowly into my seat behind the counter, and checked my reflection in my phone screen.
Life is sweet. Life is sweet, and I’m doing great. I’m Kayla Spencer, and life is sweet.
I called Melissa.
I completely, one hundred percent expected her not to answer. I was thinking what kind of voicemail I was supposed to leave, if I should have just texted instead, but she picked up.
“Lucky timing, Kayla,” she said. “I have to meet a partner in eighteen minutes, but until then, I’m open. What can I do for you?”
I blanked. I didn’t know what I was even calling to say. I just wanted to… to hear her voice.
“I,” I started after a pause. “Tonight…”
“We’re still on for seven-thirty, right? The schedule’s cleared up. I booked it on my public calendar as private skill training, so you’d better be ready to train me, privately.”
Under normal circumstances a comment like that would have speared my heart like shish kebab. But instead, I just let out a pitiful little sob.
“Wait—Kayla? Are you all right? What happened?” She paused. “Your ex-boyfriend visited you again.”
I nodded. It took me a good second to realize she couldn’t see that. “Yeah,” I said. “Yeah. I don’t know if… if I can do much tonight.”
“Do you want to cancel?”
“No, no, no,” I said, my voice more pitchy than I’d intended. “I definitely won’t feel better then. But… maybe you can just come over and…” I scratched at the back of my neck, looked around. “You know, I can make some food and…”
“Still at seven thirty?”
I gulped. She said everything with such laser precision. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. I mean, unless you could do earlier, but, uh, I know what your schedule’s like.”
“I’ll get back to you, let you know if I can manage any earlier.”
I flushed. “Oh, Melissa, please. If you cancel something that could have meant a thousand dollars, you know I’ll feel like I owe you a thousand dollars.”
“You need someone there, don’t you?”
Just like that. Like it was the simplest thing. I hunched over the register and said, “Wow. I really appreciate you, Melissa.”
“I still have some time. What happened?”
I shuddered, relayed the incident in vague detail.
“Doesn’t he still think I’m your girlfriend?”
I gulped. Another thing that would have made me all fluttery if I’d had the presence of mind for that. “Yeah. But he’s not scared without you around.”
She sighed, sounding angrier than I expected. “I’m sorry I can’t be around more. I wish this timing were different. I wish I could help.”
“Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. You are so much help already. I can’t believe you’re taking time out for me.”
“Well…” Her voice faded a little, like she looked away from the phone. “You gave me a favorite color and a sticker. I owe you.”
I sniffled. I really liked her. “Thanks. I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“See you tonight,” she said.
“See you tonight.”
I felt such a complex tangle of emotions when I sat back in my chair—still panicked over the run-in with Jacob, my heart fluttery at the thought of a slow evening with Melissa at my place, and most of all, that deep amazement with her. What an incredible person.
; I just wished she were happy, too.
∞∞∞
She got out at seven. And I might have been pacing in front of the window waiting for her car to pull up, dinner set on the table, with wine and everything. I knew I wouldn’t be able to compare to her two-hundred-dollar business dinners, but… I don’t know. I kind of hoped she’d like it more because I’d made it specially for her.
I laid my forehead on the glass and sighed, the cold of the glass sharp against my skin. I was really into her. This was so stupid. She was so far out of my league I couldn’t even see a speck of her league on the horizon. She’d never be with someone like me, even if she did want to be my friend for whatever reason.
When her car pulled up, I just about sprinted out of the door, my heart in my mouth. I think for some reason I was tearing up by the time I got to her car, and she stepped out, wearing a blouse and slacks but no blazer this time. It was kind of funny that was the biggest outfit variation I saw from her.
“Hi,” I said. “Thank you so much for…”
Ugh. No good. There were tears in my voice.
She looked me over once, stepped in closer, and offered an arm. An invitation for a hug. I took it without thinking, sinking into her as she squeezed me tightly.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. I laid my face against her shoulder, careful not to get her blouse dirty when I was sure it cost as much as rent, and I just focused on breathing. “I wish I could have gotten here earlier.”
“No, no.” I stepped back out of the hug, still breathing slowly. “I can’t believe how lucky I am that you came here for me. Um…” I clutched my hands behind my back, looked away. “I made dinner. We should hurry before it gets cold.”
I led her inside, nearly tripping over Leonardo’s dumb butt that he decided to park right in the doorway, and Melissa stopped at the sight of the dinner table.
“Uh,” I said, seeing her eyes go wide. “I’m sure you’re used to much fancier, but I wanted to try my best. To say thanks.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “You really did.”
I flushed. I didn’t know if she was being sarcastic or what. It was just lasagna. I mean, I put a tablecloth and a candle and all that nice stuff, too, but, like, what was I supposed to do, just… not?
Life Is Sweet Page 5