by Sweet, Izzy
A love he doesn’t try to hide.
A love he admits freely.
My chest tightens and I forget to take a breath.
“I’m gonna be a dad, alright, but I’m not going to have a fucking dad bod,” James says.
Johnathan nods his head. “Uh-huh, that’s what they all say. Then the next thing you know you gotta finish the kid’s plate so the food doesn’t go to waste. Then you’re eating out all the time because you don’t have time to cook. Plus you’re too fucking tired from running them around to find time to exercise…”
James smirks. “I guess that’s how it works if you’re poor. Me? I’m going to hire a cook and a nanny.”
“That is the way, James,” Lucifer agrees.
“Fuck you both,” Johnathan says. “I’m not fucking poor. I just don’t like strangers in my fucking house or near my kid. Ah… fuck it! I’m starting with the tip, James. He’s too fucking small to do it at the base.”
Making a face, Johnathan finally grabs Trent’s penis and starts to slice into it.
Trent thrashes and starts to scream.
Remembering my promise to James, I quickly look away.
“Ah fuck, keep him still. Shit! I might have cut a little too deep,” Johnathan curses.
Gabriel laughs, nearly hysterical. “You fucking cut the whole head off!”
“Fucking Christ,” Andrew mutters beside me.
“Yeah… shit,” Johnathan says, “didn’t mean to do that. Now I gotta get to the base. You’re sure you want him degloved, James? Yeah? Fuck. Gabriel, I need you to tug it up for me.”
“Fuck no,” Gabriel says forcibly. “I’ve never touched another man’s cock in my life and I’m not starting now.”
“Oh, come on, man,” Johnathan whines. “If you don’t tug it for me, I can’t get to the fucking base.”
“You fucking tug and I’ll do the cutting,” Gabriel snarls.
“Fine,” Johnathan snaps.
A few seconds later, Johnathan groans like he’s on the verge of getting sick. “Shit, all this blood is making it slippery… I can’t keep a good grip…”
“Grip harder, bitch,” Gabriel growls.
“Fuck, I’m trying!” Johnathan cries. “I’m trying. Why you gotta be so mean? There… do it now!”
“Eureka! You guys finally figured out how to work a cock!” James shouts with laughter. “You seeing this, Jacob?”
There’s a wet, slapping sound, and it’s everything I can do not to glance over in curiosity.
James laughs louder with glee. “You see what we just did to your boy? Well, don’t look away, cause the show isn’t over yet!”
Jacob weeps softly. “I’m sorry, Trent. I’m sorry…”
“Oh fuck, is that what I think it is?” Johnathan asks.
“Yup,” James answers. “Been wanting to try this rib spreader out for a while now. This is the first time Simon has let me play with his toys.”
Gabriel grumbles something about James being an ass-kisser.
Lucifer asks, “What do you plan to do, James?”
James snickers and says ominously, “You’ll see. Keep him still.”
“Please… please just kill me,” Trent begs, his words wet and slurring together. “Just fucking kill me already.”
“Hush. I’m trying to work,” James says, and I dare a peek at him.
Bent over, James presses a scalpel to Trent’s bare skin just beneath his shoulder. Then he cuts diagonally toward Trent’s sternum. Once he reaches the center of Trent’s chest, he lifts the scalpel away and moves to the other shoulder.
He’s doing the Y incision…
Is he going to perform a live autopsy?
Holy fuck. No wonder he didn’t want me to watch.
As if he can feel my eyes on him, James glances up at me. His face is sharp and focused. And like his sudden calm, I find it more terrifying than the uncontrollable rage.
There’s too much control, too much intelligence in his eyes.
And I can finally see the resemblance between him and his brother, Lucifer.
It’s so obvious… they look so much alike, even though James is dark to Lucifer’s light, I feel like an idiot for not guessing it before.
Holding my stare though, that calm he’s holding onto begins to splinter again. Emotion leaking out.
There’s no rage, though. Or even anger.
No, there’s worry in his eyes…
I almost want to say it’s worry for me… but I get the feeling it’s something else. There’s something else he’s worried about.
“Sophia, remember your promise,” James says, holding the scalpel above Trent, hesitating.
I nod my head at him to show him I remember.
Yet he continues to hesitate.
“Look away,” he says, a touch of pleading in his voice.
I’d ask him why… if I fucking could. But just thinking about the pain that one word will cause has my throat locking up.
Why should I look away if I want to see Trent suffer too?
I’m not a fucking baby…
“Look away,” James repeats, his voice firmer, like a fucking order again.
“Jacob has grown awfully quiet,” Lucifer says, breaking the tension. “I’d suggest you give him some of that go-go juice, James, but I don’t think his weak heart could take it.”
Everyone looks at Jacob to see him slumped against the wall as if the knives are the only things holding him up. Crying so quietly it’s become background noise.
James growls and cuts into Trent, slicing from his shoulder to his sternum. Then he drags the scalpel down in a straight line that ends at his navel. When he sets the scalpel to the side and reaches down to spread the skin, I finally look away, reaching my limit.
Trent doesn’t scream, he wails. A god-awful wail that makes me want to cover my ears.
Then it suddenly stops.
Without the wail, the room falls into quiet again.
Eerie quiet.
A loud crack shatters the silence a minute or two later.
The unmistakable sound of bones snapping…
“That is surprisingly satisfying,” Gabriel groans, like he’s in ecstasy.
“Fuck yeah, it is,” James agrees gleefully.
“I think he passed out,” Johnathan remarks.
“That’s fine,” James says. “He can fucking die now that I’ve got what I want.”
“Are you… oh shit. Don’t you want gloves or something if you’re gonna do that?” Johnathan asks in disbelief.
My curiosity once again getting the better of me, I look to see what’s happening.
“Fuck no,” James says, both of his hands inside Trent’s open chest.
I’ve seen some gruesome things in my life, willingly and unwillingly. I’ve seen things on the internet I’ve wished I could unsee.
But seeing James rooting around inside Trent’s chest makes my head feel so light I’m dangerously close to fainting.
The blood… there’s blood, yes. All the red is no surprise. But the ribs… and the lungs… and the heart… all together.
Fuck.
The lungs are still inflating and deflating.
And the heart is still beating.
Pumping even as James quickly and viciously severs the valves and arteries.
Wrapping his fingers around Trent’s heart and squeezing, James rips it out of Trent’s chest with a crazed, triumphant look on his face and holds it up in the air.
“Damn… how long is that thing gonna beat for?” Johnathan asks.
“Oh… they usually pump for about three to five minutes,” Lucifer answers.
Johnathan cocks a bushy brow at Lucifer. “Ripped a few hearts out, huh?”
Lucifer shrugs and smiles.
Grinning a wide, maniacal grin, James gets to his feet. “You see this, Jacob?”
Slowly walking over to Jacob, James holds Trent’s heart out for him to see. “You tried to take my heart… so I fucking took yours!”
“No�
� no, no, no,” Jacob wails and shakes his head back and forth, but his wail is nothing compared to the wail Trent let out.
Jacob’s wail is weak with defeat and… heartbreak.
“Yes,” James says, wicked glee once more leaking into his voice. “You held my heart in your hands, and now I hold yours, motherfucker!”
Head falling forward, Jacob moans, “Trent… oh Trent…”
His entire face twisting and contorting with rage, James lashes out, grabbing Jacob by the chin and jerking his head up.
“Don’t you look away from me!” he screams in Jacob’s face.
Jacob flinches.
Chest heaving up and down, the expression on James’s face is downright demonic. His face is as red as the heart that he holds in his hand and his eyes are black again.
Black and crazed.
“Don’t you look away as I do to your heart what you did to mine!”
Shoving Trent’s heart in Jacob’s face, James squeezes it between his fingers, wringing blood from it.
Blood that drips down Jacob’s chin and chest.
“Please… please…” Jacob begs.
“Please? Please?!” James repeats, mocking him. “Is that what my heart said before you tried to choke the fucking life out of her?! Did she beg like you’re begging?!”
I gasp.
Because that’s exactly what I did…
My throat lit up with pain now, I squeeze my eyes closed for a second to hold back tears.
“Is it?!” James screams, nearly screeching. “Fucking answer me!”
“Yes,” Jacob finally whimpers.
I open my eyes just in time to see James roar at Jacob, vein’s popping in his face and neck, spit flying everywhere. “I fucking thought so!”
Releasing Jacob’s chin, James reaches down and grabs the handle of the knife sticking out of Jacob’s groin. “The fruit of these very loins drove you to kill what you have no fucking right to kill!”
James twists the knife in Jacob’s groin before he rips the blade free.
Jacob screams a high-pitched scream of pain.
“You think it hurts now, motherfucker? You think this hurts?” James laughs as Jacob writhes against the wall.
Blood gushing from his groin.
“This is nothing. This is just a fucking taste of what’s to come!”
Lifting the knife, James twists it until the blade is horizontal and pushes it against Jacob’s throat. “You’ll wish this right here was all you had to suffer when we meet again.”
Jacob tries to moan, “I—"
But James doesn’t give him a chance to finish.
Pushing forward, James shoves the blade into Jacob’s throat and begins to saw back and forth. “I’ll see you in Hell, motherfucker!”
Jacob sputters and makes choking sounds.
And seemingly all at once, blood gushes from his neck like a fucking fountain. Drenching himself and James.
Pulling the knife back, James grins, his eyes alight now with an evil gleam as he watches Jacob bleed out. “I own your fucking soul now. Remember that.”
Lining Trent’s still-beating heart up with Jacob’s, James stabs the knife through it, into Jacob’s chest.
Body spasming, Jacob’s limbs shake and tremble against the knives holding him to the wall.
His head falls forward, but James grabs it again, lifting it up and causing more blood to pour forth. “Remember this face. Remember when you greet me on your fucking knees, beside your piece of shit son.”
James glares into Jacob’s eyes as he dies, relishing the death.
Not turning away until Jacob’s body twitches one last time and goes still.
And when he turns toward me, drenched in so much blood it drips off him, eyes still wild, chest heaving…
He looks every inch a monster.
A demon.
A sadistic, evil psychopath.
The things he’s done…
No sane, normal man would have done what he’s just done.
James is exactly what he said—a bad man who does bad things.
And despite all that.
Despite everything I’ve seen.
The crazed rage.
The sick glee.
I fucking love him.
I think I first realized it last night when I needed him on top of me to sleep. And today has only reinforced the feeling.
I love him because when I’m with him, he makes me feel safe. I love him because he completes me in a way that I didn’t know was incomplete.
I love him because he takes away all my pain.
But most of all, I love him because he loves me. Loves me so much it literally drives him insane.
I know he’ll never hurt me, he’d fucking kill and die for me. Just like he promised. He’s kept every promise…
James’s face falls and his shoulders slump as if all that crazy rage he had has left him deflated.
I quickly get to my feet before Lucifer can stop me.
Taking a look down at himself then back up to me, James groans, “Sophia…”
There’s so much pain on his face now, so much fucking pain I can’t take it.
I run to him. Run and throw my arms around him.
James grunts a little as I crash into his chest then starts to wrap his arms around me before thinking better of it.
He tries to pull away from me. “Baby, don’t touch me, you’ll get blood all over you.”
I almost tell him I don’t care, but decide I’d rather save my energy for something better. So I just squeeze him harder and burst into tears.
“Fuck,” James says and finally wraps his arms tight around me. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m fucking sorry you had to see that. Don’t cry.”
The fact that he’s apologizing for what he did and worrying about me just makes me cry harder.
He almost died because of me and my stupidity, and he punished and killed the men who tried to kill me.
The men who had a hand in the death of my father.
He has absolutely nothing to apologize for.
I’m the one who owes him. I’m the one who is going to spend the rest of her life making it up to him.
But dammit, I can’t even tell him that right now!
Tipping my head back, I peer up at him and try to show him that with my eyes.
But he must see something completely different because his face just crumbles even more. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking—”
Not willing to hear him say sorry one more fucking time, I force three words out of my raw throat.
“I love you.”
James freezes, going stiff in my arms. “What was that?”
Is he serious?
Johnathan speaks up for me. “She said she loves you, you putz.”
“Yes, I do believe that’s what I heard over here,” Lucifer helpfully adds.
“That’s what I heard,” Gabriel says. “Though why she’d love a crazy fucker like you, I don’t know.
“I heard it too.” Andrew chuckles. “And I can attest that she’s hasn’t been given any strong narcotics.”
James shoots a glare over my head then his attention is back on face.
His eyes intense and needy as they stare into my eyes. “You love me?”
I nod my head and wince.
“You sure?” James asks, as if he can’t quite believe it.
As if it’s too good to be true.
Willing to do anything for him, even if that means hurting myself to give him what he needs, I croak, “Yes.”
For better or worse, I love this man.
Love him with every little fiber of my being.
James shudders against me and stares down at me with a look of awe and wonder on his face.
Gripping him tighter, the blood on him soaking through the shirt I’m wearing, I scream with my eyes—now kiss me and take me home, you putz.
Epilogue
James
7 Months Later
“You do know, James,
you’re starting to breathe a little heavy there,” Jude says with a grunt. “Been skipping your cardio?”
I drop the hands of the fat fucker we’ve been carrying up the warehouse stairs and the man’s head hits the concrete with a loud thump.
“I’m not getting a dad bod, asshole. Quit parroting John,” I growl at Jude then take a deep breath. “This fucker just weighs a ton, literally.”
I’m getting real sick of Johnathan’s little joke. I’ve weighed myself and kept to my workout routine most days of the fucking week.
Jude is just talking shit because he has to carry this fucker’s feet.
It’s not a pretty sight down there. The man’s legs and stomach are completely mangled beyond repair.
He’s still alive, but only barely.
And not for much longer.
This is the last of the cops on the Russian’s payroll.
Given that he’s the only one who has any sniper experience, we think he was probably the one who pulled the trigger on Amy and Michael. Although he firmly denied it during torture and interrogation.
Either way, I’m finally sending my brother a slave in Hell.
Jude smiles at me as he drops the man’s feet and stands up to stretch his body. When he leans to the side, he groans a little.
“Still sore?” I ask, looking at where he keeps his hand. He’s been pretty protective of his right side ever since he was shot down in Louisville.
“It comes and goes,” Jude says with a smirk. “All of you happily married men seem to be losing a step or two.”
Pulling the gun from my hip holster, I aim it at his head. “What was that?”
Jude’s smirk sharpens. “You can’t kill me, I’m the favorite brother. Remember?”
“I’m the real brother,” I smirk right back at him.
“Well, I’ll be. I heard that was finally revealed. It’s taken you two long enough to finally come out,” Jude says as he stretches one more time to work out the kink in his side.
“Finally?” I ask as I holster my gun.
“Yes, I’m surprised it wasn’t brought up sooner,” Jude says and bends down to grab the guy’s feet again.
“You knew?” I ask, and I’m slightly confused about how he knew.
Only Simon was supposed to know about Lucifer and me. Only he was supposed to know our secret.
“The eyes gave it away,” Jude says.