by Monica James
This isn’t just about drugs. This is personal. But then again, it always has been.
There is so much to process, but now isn’t the time because when the lorry comes to a stop, it’s time to uncover the rest of this fucked-up tale.
“Ye feeling all right, son?” Brody sarcastically asks, touching my shoulder.
“Don’tcha call me that ever again,” I warn, recoiling forcibly.
“Ach, ye may change yer mind when ye find out who’s behind all this. But don’tcha bother yerself with that. I’ll take care of them. They can’t be trusted, and just like you, Camilla, my sons, yousens played a role, but playtime is over now.
“There’s room for only one leader. They think I’m playin’ by their rules, but I’m not.”
I turn over my shoulder to look at him. I don’t know when or how, but one way or another, I’m going to kill this cunt and everyone who played a part in this show.
Ferris kills the engine and exits the lorry. I’m expecting to see Uncle Sean with him, as that was the plan. But he’s not here.
“Ferris, how’s the wains?” Brody asks like they’re old friends catching up—they probably are.
Liam looks as surprised as I am, which confirms he played no part in this new plan. Robbing us was always part of the plan, but Liam was kept in the dark with the details. His anger is reflective of mine.
“Ack, they’re always wantin’,” Ferris replies. When he sees me, his eyes widen as he obviously wasn’t expecting me here.
“Puck?”
“Bout ye?” I stare him straight in the eye.
“What’s he doing ’ere?” He nervously looks at Brody.
“Surprise, shitehawk.”
“Everythin’ inside?” Brody asks, wanting to get down to business.
Ferris nods, his apprehension evident.
“Thanks, mate. Really appreciate it.”
Before anyone has a chance to figure out what’s going on, Brody takes out his gun and shoots Ferris between the eyes. He’s dead before he hits the ground.
I stand emotionless because Ferris chose his fate. Just as we all have.
Brody steps over Ferris, gesturing Liam is to follow him. I could end this right here, right now and kill Brody where he stands. But I cannot. I do that, and I’ll never find out the truth.
Babydoll keeps her distance. No matter that I know her real name, she’ll always be Babydoll to me.
Just as Liam is about to open the back of the lorry, Brody turns to me. “C’mere. You can do the honors.”
I’m not thick. I know Brody is concerned that whoever his partner in crime is will double-cross him. Is that why he needed me as collateral? It’s the only thing that makes sense. I’m valuable to this person. Or so Brody thinks I am.
With nothing to lose, I walk forward, but that’s as far as I get because rustling from the dense bushland alerts us that someone is coming, and that someone is Connor.
“Don’tcha move, Puck,” he orders, stepping onto the gravel road. I look behind him but don’t see Uncle Sean. Where is he?
“Connor Kelly,” Brody says with a wide grin. “Y’always knew how to make an entrance.”
“Fuck ye,” Connor spits, looking at where Ferris’ corpse is strewn on the ground. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Brody shrugs while I look at Connor. What’s that mean?
“We had a deal. Why would ya break it? Why now?”
“Deal? What fuckin’ deal?” I question. This is the first time I’ve ever heard this. As far as I knew, Connor hadn’t seen Brody for years.
A sinking feeling hits me low and I begin to fear for my uncle.
I brought Connor here, thinking I was teaching him a lesson, but what if Uncle Sean didn’t want him here for a reason. What if what Brody said was right, and it was Connor who killed Ma. What if Connor is the inside man?
It makes sense. For someone to be able to penetrate without detection would mean they know the workings of our business like the back of their hand. I suddenly regret my actions. Did I welcome the enemy into this with open arms?
“That deal was made long ago,” Brody replies calmly. “Things change. People change.”
“Ye made a deal with a fucking Kelly?” Liam spits, just as in the dark as I am.
“Ach son, don’tcha be speaking about things ya have no idea about. I did what I had to for this family. I never wanted a part of Belfast.”
“And I with Dublin,” Connor counters, but something’s changed.
What? What’s changed for them to be here now?
“Puck is my son,” Brody states, smiling when Connor’s surprise is clear. “I’ve the test to prove it.”
Connor turns to me, guilt and sorrow reflecting in his eyes. “Y’ll always be a Kelly,” he says, and I believe him. “No matter what the tests say, y’ll always be my wain. Mine and yer ma’s.”
“Do ye know who killed my ma?” I ask, begging he tell me the truth once and for all.
He sighs, complete exhaustion overtaking him. “Aye, I do. And I’m sorry for everything. But I’m about to make it right.”
I stand utterly still when he reaches for me and cups the back of my neck, drawing me close.
“Look after the twins for me,” he whispers into my ear.
When I desperately try to break away, he holds me tight. He’s not done.
“Yer all they have now. I was hard on ya because I knew one day…y’d rule this country. And that day is now. No matter what name ye bear, y’ll always be my wain. Y’ll always be Puck Connor Kelly, and don’tcha be forgettin’ it.
“Yer a leader. Lead with the compassion yer ma gave ya. And rule with the cruelty I taught ya because it’s the only way to survive in our world. I’m sorry I never told ya this…but I love ya, and I’m proud of the man y’ve become.”
Before I have a chance to ask what he means, the doors on the back of the truck are kicked open and gunfire erupts around us. Connor shoves me out of the way while I attempt to process what the fuck is going on.
I take cover behind the wheel of the lorry, focusing on the bedlam that is happening feet away. Masked men appear out of nowhere, shooting one another. I don’t know who is on our side, but when I see Uncle Sean jump out of the back of the truck and take aim at Brody, I realize he was just biding his time to ambush this fucker. He and Connor were.
Connor has taken cover behind the door of the lorry, ducking his head out to shoot anyone game enough to try to take him down. Instantly, my survival instinct kicks in, and I reach for my gun, focusing on where Babydoll is.
She’s hiding behind the back of the van, but it won’t be long until she’s picked off by these men. She’s unarmed and afraid. I can’t leave her alone.
Keeping low, I scope out my surroundings and see about thirty men shooting at one another. Some are Kellys. Some are Doyles. Neither family came into this unprepared. Uncle Sean knew Brody wouldn’t come unmanned, which is why he’s rounded up our troops.
I can’t see their faces as they’re wearing balaclavas, but if Uncle Sean trusts them, then I do too, which is why I take a deep breath and make a run for the van.
Gunshots tear around me, but I shoot first, taking down two men who advance toward me, guns raised. I don’t know where anyone else is because all I see is a masked man running toward the back of the van, ready to shoot.
“Baby!” I scream to be heard over the gunfire.
She pokes her head around the van, and I gesture for her to run. But it’s too late, and a shot is fired.
With adrenaline coursing through me, I charge through the chaos, shooting anyone who stands in my way. My boots kick at the gravel as I scramble to get to Babydoll, and when I do, I almost cry in relief.
Sliding along the ground, I cover her with my body, and she hugs me tight. “Your uncle shot h-him,” she states, her voice trembling.
The man lies in a crumpled mess, feet away. I rip off his balaclava, and when I see it’s Danny, I want to kill him again. Even wit
h a busted kneecap, his loyalty knows no bounds. Every one of our men are traitorous fuckers, and it’s time they all paid.
“Rule with the cruelty I taught ya because it’s the only way to survive in our world.”
Connor’s words echo inside my head, and although I’ll never forgive him, I understand why he did what he did. He raised a ruthless, heartless monster because he knew it would always come to this. Opening his heart is what got him in trouble, and he never wanted that for me.
In his own fucked-up way, he was trying to teach me not to be like him. Love and emotion are what got him here. A leader cannot love because love leads to destruction…
Prying the gun from Danny’s lifeless hand, I give it to Babydoll. Looking into the back window, I see the keys are in the ignition.
“Get inside the van and drive away from here.”
“Punky—” she argues.
“I’ll not tell ya again! The next town is only over the way. Go.”
“I won’t leave you,” she cries, brushing the hair from my face.
Turning my cheek, I hate that I still crave her touch after everything I know. “Ya must.”
She realizes why I turned away from her and gasps, removing her hands with shame. “We didn’t do anything wrong. We didn’t know,” she says, tears streaming into her lips, lips I want to kiss over and over again.
“But now we do. And we have to stop. I can’t be around ye, Babydoll, ’cause I want ya how a brother should not want a sister. Please go. I need ya to be safe.”
She looks at me, pleading I tell her it’ll be all right. But it won’t be. Nothing will be ever again.
She slams her mouth to mine, kissing me with finality because we both know this is goodbye. We cannot deny these feelings for one another, and until we learn how to deal with them, then we need to be apart.
“I…love you,” she whispers against my lips, cupping my cheeks and drawing us brow to brow. “And I’m so sorry for betraying you.”
I taste her salty kisses and surrender—one last time. “I love ye, too. I always will. But I can’t be anywhere near ya. I promised ya if ye were a threat…I’d kill ye. But I can’t hurt ya. Nor can I trust ya. So, goodbye, Baby.”
She nods jerkily, still clutching onto me, never wanting to let go. “Ex favilla nos resurgemus,” she says, reciting the tattoo across my collarbone. “From the ashes we will rise…I’ll never give up.”
Planting a soft kiss to her forehead, I let go of my humanity because I’ll never love anyone as much as I do her and that makes me weak. Something I refuse to be ever again.
“I’ll cover ya,” I say, gesturing she’s to make a run for the driver’s side.
She hugs her gun, taking three deep breaths.
A thought suddenly occurs to me. “How’d ya know he was my uncle?”
Babydoll said Uncle Sean shot Danny. How did she know who he was? I never introduced them.
Before I can ask her, however, I hear footsteps advancing toward us.
“Go!” I scream, coming to a stand and guarding Babydoll with my body as I lead her toward the driver’s side.
My focus is straight ahead, which is an error I’ll regret for the rest of my life, as I don’t see a masked man emerge from the dense bushlands to my right. He aims his gun and fires a bullet which lodges into my chest.
But I persevere. It’s merely a scratch.
Only a couple more feet and Babydoll will be safe.
Just as I’m about to open the door and shove her inside, someone screams my name, and that person is Connor, who dives in front of me, before collapsing into a twisted heap on the ground. Everything comes to a screeching halt.
“Connor?” I ask, suddenly feeling faint, and when I press a hand over my chest, I realize that scratch is actually a lot worse than I thought.
I drop to my knees beside Connor, gasping for air.
“Punky!” Babydoll cries, catching me from falling. “Oh my God. You’re hurt b-bad.”
I lean into her, my lungs wheezing as I attempt to breathe. But it doesn’t end this way.
“Connor?” I shove at his shoulder, flinching when my hand is saturated in his blood.
He groans, his eyes flickering open. “Do-don’t…” He attempts to speak, but blood trickles from his mouth.
“Save yer strength,” I say, pressing my hands over the wound to his stomach. “Help is comin’.”
“Babydoll, call the peelers!” I don’t care that they’ll find a lorry full of drugs. I’ll take the blame as long as it’ll save Connor because he just saved me. He took a bullet for me.
“They’re comin’,” Connor pants, peering up at me, gulping in mouthfuls of air. “I called them.”
“What?”
“I told them what I did. We were all going to pay for our crimes. But yer…” He splutters up blood but won’t go down without a fight. “I didn’t kill yer ma. I lo-loved her. So much. The deal I made was to save ye.”
Babydoll cries beside me, holding me up as I fight to stay awake. “Who killed her?”
Connor reaches up and with trembling fingers, he wipes away the tears I didn’t even know I was shedding. “Don’t trust him,” he pants, struggling to breathe.
“Who?” I scream, placing my hand over his. He’s freezin’.
“Yer uncle,” he pants, flinching in pain. “Don’t trust…Sean.”
His hand grows limp, but I press it to my face, refusing to accept this. No, this is not the end. He can’t leave the earth like this.
“Connor?” I wheeze, squeezing his hand, begging he take my strength and make it his own.
“Punky, he’s g-gone.”
But I refuse to listen to Babydoll’s pleas. There is no way he’s gone. This man is the strongest arsehole I know.
“Aul’ lad?” I press, shoving at his chest, the chest which no longer fills with air. “…Dad?”
Grief tackles me, and I’m transported back to that bedroom floor when I pleaded for my ma to wake up. But just like her, Connor won’t. He’s dead. I’ve watched both my parents perish, and I still don’t know why.
With his blood mingled with mine, I swipe three fingers down the middle of my forehead, promising that his death won’t be in vain.
Coming to a wobbly stand, I look for Uncle Sean and see him fighting with a masked man. I clutch Babydoll by the arm and shove her into the van. She tries to fight me, but I lean inside and buckle her in.
“Drive.”
With bittersweet tears, she makes the promise I asked of her. “I’ll come ba-back to you.”
And I hope one day she will.
Slamming the door shut, I ignore the tingling in my limbs as blood gushes from me and shoot any man who stands in Babydoll’s way.
Uncle Sean turns, and when he sees me shoot, his eyes widen.
Don’t trust…Sean.
Before I leave this earth, I need to know why.
So, with my gun raised, I hobble over, demanding he give me the answers I seek. I don’t even know where Brody is, and honestly, I don’t care. All I care about is finding out why I shouldn’t trust the one man who I do trust with my entire being.
“What did ye do?” I scream, training the gun on Uncle Sean.
He shoots two men who come running for him. “Punky, yer jokin’ me? Yer gonna shoot me, are ye?”
“Why did Connor tell me not to trust ya? Those were the last words to leave him!”
“Connor is dead?”
“Answer the fucking question!” I hear the van’s motor start. It’s almost over. She’s safe.
“I don’t know, lad!” Sean cries, lowering his gun, but I don’t lower mine.
“How did Babydoll know who ye were?”
“Because she told me. When she came to the house lookin’ for ya, she told me everythin’. I promised not to tell ya because I had a plan.”
“This was yer fucking plan?” I exclaim, arms out wide.
“Naw. Connor was never meant to be here. Why did ya bring him? He’s called
the chief constable. They’ll be here in minutes. We’ve got to go.”
When he tries to reach for me, I recoil. His hurt is palpable, but I don’t know who to believe.
“I’ll explain everythin’, but now, we’ve got to go. If we don’t, we’ll go to prison for a very long time. That lorry is full of drugs!”
“I don’t care anymore,” I confess, everything becoming murky.
“Stop that!” Uncle Sean scolds. “We go now, and we let the Doyles take the blame. They’re here when they’re not supposed to be. It’s the perfect plan. It’s what I wanted to happen.”
“Is it now?”
Uncle Sean looks over my shoulder as the barrel of a gun presses to the back of my head. Turning around slowly, what I see changes the course of everything once more.
Brody and Liam have three people who trusted me at gunpoint, revealing no one will get out of this alive. I thought she had fled in the van. But that would have been too easy, and nothing in life ever is.
Cian, Rory, and Babydoll are their prisoners, and the only exchange acceptable is my life for theirs. They put up a fight, as they’re bloody and bruised, but it wasn’t enough.
Cian and Rory got ambushed while keeping dick—I have no doubt about that. They were only here because I asked them to, because I believed our plan would work.
“Let them go,” Uncle Sean warns, coming to stand next to me, gun pointed at Brody.
Brody grins. “Really sorry, but I can’t do that. Ya see, someone has got to take the blame for this.”
Sirens wail in the distance. Connor did call the police, knowing he would be held accountable for this entire thing.
“And that won’t be me.”
I look at Cian, who nods discreetly. He and Rory can take Liam and Brody. But what Brody says next, seals the deal.
“If I go down, then all of ye will too; that includes yer ma, Camilla. That’s why I brought ye here. Ya were always collateral. Ye were always my get out of jail free card because I knew Puck would do anythin’ to save ya.”
Babydoll shakes her head, blood trickling from the corner of her mouth.
“I go to prison, yer ma gets nothin’. I will make sure she suffers, and yer little sister, well, ya saw firsthand how cruel the Doyle men can be. We like to keep it in the family. I’m sure ya came to learn that from Hugh. He punished ya, did he not?”