The Conclusion of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 2)

by Glenna Maynard

  “Liri, don’t say shit like that.”

  “It’s true.” I wipe at my eyes. “I love you, Killian. Despite all the bad, all I want is to be with you.”

  He kisses my hair, and I pray he comes back to me.

  Chapter 8

  Liri

  I wake up alone, and I wonder if last night was a dream. Was Killian really here in our bed with me? Did we make love? The ache between my thighs answers my questions. I’m sore. The bruises he left on my thighs evidence it was all real. That he’s really here.

  Stretching and yawning, I throw the covers back and go into the bathroom. There’s a sticky note stuck on the bathroom mirror.

  All it says is:

  Later.

  Killian

  I rip it off and throw it in the trash.

  Yeah. Later.

  Killian fucked me and all he left me with is the bruises on my thighs and a sinking feeling that my man is never coming back to me. I do my business and brush my teeth. Killian is out of the hospital, and I guess that means it is time I get on with living life. I need to go to campus and talk to my professors. I know I’m behind on my assignments. I couldn’t worry about school with Killian in a coma. I couldn’t think of anything but him. My appearance has suffered with everything else. I wash my face then go to the closet to get dressed. I settle on plain black leggings and a big necked grey sweatshirt that is cropped slightly in the belly.

  My favorite flats are ruined and stained with Killian’s blood. I should throw them out. I pull out my plain black Chucks and slip them on. I grab my phone off the nightstand and put it down in my bag. Lastly, I rip off a sticky note and write my number on it for Killian. I’m not sure if he’ll be back or how he’ll call me or whatever, but I write it down in case. I’m sticking the note on the fridge when the door opens, and he nearly drops the tray of drinks he’s carrying along with a bag of fast food.

  I take the drink carrier from him and place it on the kitchen counter.

  “I got breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you like so I got a little of everything. I figured it’s the least I can do.”

  “That’s really thoughtful. Thank you.”

  He shrugs and directs me to the four flavors of coffee he bought along with several choices of breakfast sandwiches. My appetite hasn’t fully returned, but I take a sausage biscuit to nibble on. He’s quiet and the way he keeps glancing at me has my stomach doing flipflops.

  “I’m going to go by campus to speak with my advisor. Do you want to come with me?”

  “I guess so. I should probably meet with my what’d you call it?”

  “Advisor.”

  “Yeah. Guess I need to do that and figure out where I go from here.”

  “Okay. I can go in with you if you’d like.”

  “Nah. You gotta do your thing. Listen, last night…I owe you an apology. I took advantage of your feelings for me, and it wasn’t right of me.”

  “I used you too. I know you can’t possibly feel the same way I do. It sucks, but I am trying to be patient and understand.”

  “I just don’t want to lead you on. I gotta be honest. I think you’re hot, but I don’t see you as my girlfriend.” His words punch me in the gut. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”

  I put the food down. I can already feel it trying to come back up my throat. “I don’t want you to.”

  “I know, but last night shouldn’t happen again.”

  “I see.” I go to take a drink of one of the coffees, but it immediately sours on my stomach, and I go running for the bathroom.

  Falling to my knees, the little of breakfast I managed to get down comes right up. Hot, angry, fat tears run down my face. All I seem to do anymore is cry.

  The front door slams shut and moments later I hear his car peeling out the parking lot. He doesn’t want me. Killian doesn’t want to be with me. He doesn’t even want to try.

  It takes me a good hour before I feel able to leave the apartment and go to campus. I don’t know where Killian went. I just feel numb. All I wanted was for him to wake up and come back to me. I guess one out of two isn’t so bad. My mother was right. The Killian who woke up isn’t he Killian I knew.

  I pull in at the admissions building and his car is here. I give myself a once over in the mirror and grab my bag from the passenger side. When I get out of the car Liam is standing next to Killian’s car. “Hey, Liri.” He shoves his ink covered hands in his pockets.

  “Hey.” I tense being this close to him. He’s still on my list of not so favorite people after the stunt he pulled. I know he feels remorse for his part in everything, but I’m not ready to forgive and forget. It’s all still too raw.

  “So, Killian’s back?”

  I nod. “Kind of. I don’t think you deserve to know crap about him, but you were his friend at one point. Killian is back, but he has no recollection of the past two years. In his mind he’s still a senior in high school. So thanks for that.”

  His brows lift. “You’re shitting me.”

  “I wish I were. My boyfriend woke up, but he doesn’t remember ever loving me. He doesn’t want to be with me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Listen, I have to go.”

  “Liri,” he calls out to me when I start to the door. I glance back at him. “I really am sorry about everything. I didn’t think it’d go that far. I was drunk, and I know it isn’t an excuse but it’s the only one I’ve got.”

  “I hear you.” I go to grab the door handle the minute Killian is exiting the building. He notices me briefly then keeps walking as though I’m a random stranger he is passing on the street and not the woman he fucked last night.

  So that’s how it’s going to be. He don’t know me, and maybe I never knew him. I just thought I did. Biting the inside of my cheek I manage to walk inside the building without peering back over my shoulder. It kills me not to check to see if he’s watching me, but I already know that he’s not.

  **

  My advisor was able to work things out with my professors. As long as I turn in everything and ace finals, I’m set for next semester if I can pay. Thanksgiving is almost here, and I don’t know what my plans are now that Killian and I are whatever we are. I was supposed to go to his dad’s, but I think that would be awkward being that we aren’t together.

  There’s a voice in the back of my head that tells me to just let things be and give him some space and time to regain normalcy, but he dumped me. He’s only been by the apartment a few times to shower and grab clothes. I don’t even know where he is staying. I’ve been spending my time working on my Christmas present to him. It’s our story. Drawings and sketches of all my favorite memories with him put together almost like a comic book. I don’t know if I’ll give it to him, but it’s therapeutic.

  I promised Noelle I would fill in for her tonight at the bar and grill. I haven’t told anyone that we broke-up other than Liam. I keep hoping Killian will remember what we are to each other or what we were. I’m not sure what I should do about the apartment. I know if I told Theo Killian moved out, he’d pay my rent, but I don’t want to hear I told you so. He hasn’t technically moved out, but it’s been a week since he dumped me. I went through the stages of grief. I was numb for the first two days, then I moved into the crying and eating ice cream phase. Today I’m angry.

  I grab my uniform shirt and pull it down over my head. I don’t want to go to work, but I need the money.

  I don’t make enough to support paying for it alone. Killian had money from all the racing he did, but I don’t expect him to keep paying when he’s not even living here. I don’t know what I want. I’m miserable. Hunter has been calling me, but I keep blowing him off too. I’m not ready to face anyone. I’m sure everyone knows that we aren’t together by now. It shouldn’t matter but it does. I feel like a damn fool. His fool, because despite the rejection, I love him.

  I make it to the bar and grill without falling apart. Conrad is behind the bar and Susie is getting ready to leave. “T
hanks for coming. It should be slow tonight. We don’t expect much business until Friday night.” She squeezes my shoulder. “How is he?”

  “Okay, I guess. I haven’t talked to him in a few days.”

  “Whatcha mean?” She pulls me to the bar and forces me onto a stool. She waves Conrad over.

  “Killian and I…we broke-up the morning after he was released from the hospital. He said he was sorry, but he didn’t see me as his girlfriend. He’s been by the apartment a few times for his clothes but that’s been it. I don’t know what he’s doing or where he’s been staying.”

  “Boy needs his ass kicked,” his father mutters and shakes his head.

  “It sucks but it is what it is. He doesn’t remember being with me, and I can’t force him to love me if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

  “Sweetie, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this with him, but I beg you not to give up on him. When he gets his memory back, he will beat himself up over it all.”

  I shrug. “Maybe. I don’t think he wants to remember. He seems pretty content in the dark.”

  “You’ll still come to the house for Thanksgiving, won’t you?”

  “I think it would be better if I go home. I have some family stuff I need to face. And I seriously doubt Killian would want me around.”

  “He probably won’t even be there,” Conrad says with a sigh. The disappointment in his eyes his heartbreaking.

  “You haven’t talked to him?”

  “He came by a few days ago, but I was at the doctor. Dillan talked to him, but he didn’t mention that you weren’t together.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t think it was worth mentioning. I’m no one special to him.”

  “Well we want you there. With or without my son.”

  Without Killian…my heart cracks further in two.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  I work through my shift at the bar. My feet hurt. We ended up getting a large group of bikers half an hour before the kitchen was set to close. Those men about ran me ragged. I think they liked ogling my ass in my tight black pants.

  A few of them are still hanging out in the parking lot, and I debate on asking Conrad to walk me to my car but feel silly. It’s not that far to my car, and I’m sure he’s ready to close down and get home himself.

  When I go out to my car one of the bikers whistles at me. “Hey, hot ass. Wanna go for a ride?” The man grabs his crotch and shakes his dick at me. I scowl at him and keep walking.

  I still have pepper spray on my keychain. I won’t hesitate to use it.

  “You think you’re too good, baby doll?” He crows at me, and I hear his boots crunch in the gravel. I don’t turn around. I hurry toward my car. “Hey, I’m talking to you.”

  I pick up my pace, hoping he takes the hint.

  “You ready to go?” I focus to my left and see Killian. He rushes toward me and slings an arm around me. My brows shoot up, but I go along with whatever it is he is doing.

  “Yup.” Instead of going to my car he steers me toward his. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was coming to talk to my dad and heard that fucker bothering you. I didn’t know you worked here.”

  “Yeah. Your dad gave me a job after you asked him.”

  His brows knit together. “I asked him to hire you?”

  “Yeah. At his birthday party.”

  “Oh.”

  The bikers get on their motorcycles and roar out of the parking lot.

  “Thanks for the help.” I start back to my car when he grabs my hand. His touch shocks me like an electric current traveling straight to my heart.

  “I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I felt weird, and I know you were trying so hard to act cool, but I thought maybe it’d be easier for you if I kept my distance.”

  “It is what it is, Killian. You should go see your dad. I’m sure he’s wondering how you’re coping or whatever considering...” I jerk my hand away and regret it immediately. I’m desperate for his touch. I crave it, but I won’t beg.

  “I talked to Liam the other day.”

  “I’m tired, Killian. I want to go home and get in bed.”

  “Liri. You’re too damn good for me. You deserve better. I’m no good. My head is in a bad place. I’ll only hurt you. It’s what I’m good at.”

  “I don’t want better. All I want is you, but I get it. You. Don’t. Want. Me.” My throat goes dry, and the tears try to start up again. I’m all cried out though. I’m so damn tired.

  “Can I drive you home?”

  “Not unless you plan to stay. I’ll need my car anyway. I’m planning on driving home for the holiday. We were supposed to do dinner with your dad but…”

  “You don’t need to change your plans because of me.”

  “You think I want to show up to your dad’s for dinner alone.”

  “I’ll come.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I just feel like I should.”

  “You’re wearing me out with all this push and pull.”

  He runs a hand over his hair. “Are you getting in the car or not?”

  My head screams at me to walk away, but my stupid heart rules me.

  Stupid stupid girl when will you ever learn?

  Never…Not where Killian Hendrix is concerned.

  Chapter 9

  Liri

  Getting in the passenger side of Killian’s car brings me pleasure and pain. I yank on my seatbelt and it’s sticking.

  “What’s wrong?” Killian gawks over at me as I mutter about his car hating me under my breath.

  “The seatbelt sticks sometimes. You usually do it for me.”

  He quirks his brow at me but leans across the console.

  Our faces are so close together, his perfectly kissable lips centimeters from mine. I close my eyes until I hear the seatbelt click. Killian starts the car, and a thrill shoots through me. Rob Zombie blares through the speakers, and I smile to myself at the sound of the engine growling. Killian revs it a few times and my ass vibrates in the seat. Warmth flows through me. This feels like old times. Only thing missing is his hand on my thigh driving me wild with anticipation.

  I watch him wanting to say so many things, but he’s so far away from me, and I’m terrified of pushing him too far. “Weren’t you going to see your dad?”

  “I’ll see him tomorrow.” He smirks at me, and I get those stupid butterflies. I wish they’d carry me away to a time and place when Killian remembered that he loves me or somewhere new that would wipe my memory too.

  I don’t want to feel anything for him. I don’t want to feel anything at all because it hurts too damn much. Why did I get in this car tonight?

  I’m a stupid stupid girl.

  “Are you in a hurry to get home?”

  Home. What does that even mean anymore? Home was being with Killian.

  “There’s a party tonight at the frat house.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek. I guess that’s where he’s been staying. I should have known.

  “If you want to hang out there go for it, but I’m not going back to that house.”

  “You got something against parties?”

  “It’s where we were the last time we fought. When I found out you had been lying to me.”

  His face falls. “Oh. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. You don’t remember.”

  But I do… How could I forget?

  “I don’t have to go if it bothers you.”

  “You’re free to do whatever you want, Killian,” I croak. My throat feels so damn tight. I don’t know if I want to cry or smack him or scream. Maybe I need to do all three.

  “So are you.”

  “You know what I want.”

  “Why don’t you show me, Liri?”

  He turns off on Butler Road, and I tense up. Does he remember? We’ve had a lot of first on this road. My heart feels like its splintering in two as the memories invade my thoughts. The first time I got in his car and he brought me
to that damn race. The excitement of it all pulses through me. I dare to peek at him, but his focus is on the road.

  Silence stretches between us.

  “I’ve been coming here since I got my license,” he explains as we come to a stop at the clearing.

  My hope fades as quickly as it formed.

  “I don’t know what you want from me,” I tell him when the car shuts off.

  “You sat at my bedside for two weeks straight, but the moment I said I didn’t see us as together you simply accepted it. It was easy for you to let me walk away.”

  “You think I took that shit easily? Your doctor made me promise I wouldn’t push you. You want me to push you, Killian?” I shove at his shoulder. “I can push you harder than you know.”

  I move over the console and straddle him. I grab his face. My mouth is so close to his I know he can taste my breath and feel my lips move as I speak. “You have no idea how much it hurts to be so close to you and yet so far away. To want nothing more than to look into your eyes but watch a machine do your breathing for you instead. To be terrified that you’d never wake up or if you did that you’d be like my father.”

  “What’s your father have to do with any of this?”

  “That’s right…you don’t remember. I’ll remind you. My father wrecked his motorcycle when I was like three years old, and he went into a coma. He should have died, but he didn’t. When he finally woke up, he had permanent brain damage and was put into assisted living. He has the mind of a child. I went my whole life not knowing him until a few months ago. You went with me to see him. You held my hand as I met the man I had dreamed of for years. You held my hand when that fantasy of ever having a relationship with him was crushed. He pulls his own hair out and throws fits. He can hardly talk. He told me he hated me.”

  “Liri.” Him saying my name and studying me like he is in this moment is sweet misery.

  “No, let me finish. I sat by your bedside not knowing what would happen when you came to, but I was prepared for anything but this. I could have handled you being hurt. I could have handled you paralyzed but not this. You not even remembering who I am or that you love me. It’s a pain worse than death for me.”