by Shannon West
Luke didn’t love him—Logan needed to let that soak in his thick skull for a few minutes. He had to try to stop feeling like somebody had just tried to dig his heart out with a dull spoon.
He tore off his clothes, threw them on the floor and turned the water on in the shower. When steam began rolling out from under the shower curtain, he climbed in, wincing a little at the temperature, but welcoming the sting of the hot water cranked up as high as it would go. Letting it beat down on his back, Logan closed his eyes and willed himself to relax, to put it all out of his mind, but even after five minutes of standing under the water, he couldn’t seem to do it. That familiar coldness was still trying to creep over him, wrapping its icy fingers around his spine. There were too many emotions roiling around inside him, making him feel like his skin was on too tight. He’d felt this once before in that alleyway in El Paso when he’d been so angry at the kids torturing Rio and again when he’d fought Kowalski and his men in Alabama. The air around him actually began to grow frigid, which should have been impossible in the steamy shower—except that he could feel it happening.
The shower curtain was pulled back suddenly, the noise making him jump and pull back his fist even as a naked Luke climbed in beside him. “Hey, relax. It’s only me,” he said, smiling up at Logan, all the cold hardness gone from his face and his eyes their usual clear, bright green. What the fuck was even happening?
Logan hadn’t even heard the door open and shut, so he focused intently on keeping the coldness at bay before it overwhelmed him. Luke was smiling at him and looking relaxed, even seductive as he stepped up closer to Logan until the tip of his hard cock was touching Logan’s stomach. “Got room?” he purred as he wrapped one leg around one of Logan’s and rubbed himself shamelessly against him. “I don’t want to crowd you.”
While a part of him—a very small part, if he were honest—wanted to tell Luke to get out and leave him alone, he couldn’t seem to do it. The attraction and the bond, and yes, the love, damn it, that he felt for Luke was just too strong. The coldness in the air began to dissipate as it just wasn’t possible to push him away, even if he wanted to. He was fucking pathetic enough that he didn’t want to. Besides, Luke was acting nothing now like the man he’d left behind only a few minutes before in the bedroom. That man had been hard and hateful and full of spite. This one was everything he’d ever wanted his whole life. Damn it, these sudden mood changes were giving him whiplash.
“Still mad at me?” Luke hefted Logan’s balls in his hand and smiled up at him, as he wrapped an arm around Logan’s neck and leaned in for a kiss. Logan gasped into it, struggling to keep air moving in and out of his lungs.
Logan’s hands landed on his shoulders and Luke melted into Logan, the silky rasp of Luke’s jaw against his feeling like heaven after he thought he’d lost it.
Logan bent his head to kiss him and kept kissing him until neither of them could breathe, till they couldn’t think about anything except the slide of their tongues inside each other’s mouths. At least, that’s how Logan felt. He hoped Luke felt the same.
Luke’s body was relaxed and pliant as he sagged against Logan, who was instantly caught up in the feel and scent of him, the pressure of his mouth and the mingling of their breath.
He slid his hands over Luke’s ass and stroked his soft skin, whispering, “I love you.” Even if he threw it back in his face, he needed to say it. Needed to hear it said back to him.
“I love you too,” Luke said, so softly in his ear he had to strain to hear it, and Logan let out a long breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. He twisted him around in his arms and pushed him against the side of the tub, so his ass was jutting backward invitingly. He ran a finger along Luke’s crease, making him shiver again.
“I don’t think I can be gentle. Not tonight.”
“Good,” Luke said softly. “Fuck yeah. I don’t want gentle. I want you inside me.” His smoky growl made Logan shiver. He leaned over him, wrapping his arms around him and sliding his hands over Luke’s belly. He dipped down to fasten a hand around his cock, loving the feel of it under his control. Logan wanted to fill his ass and make him whimper his need. He wanted to own him.
He pumped Luke down and up, just one time, and shuddered. For a moment, he wondered if this was even real, or if Luke was only acting. But whatever he felt was out of Logan’s hands. He couldn’t make him love him back—there was nothing he could do about that. Hell, he didn’t want to do anything about it. Luke was here in his arms now and that would have to be enough. Logan would feel the power of that love surging through him, even if Luke didn’t.
He should probably end this—make him talk about what the hell was going on and what he’d meant by the things he said, but he simply couldn’t make himself pull away. Luke breathed out a deep sigh and bent farther over, pushing his ass back into Logan’s groin. Sensing his submission, Logan relaxed a little more and nestled him closer.
Keeping one hand on his back, holding him in place, Logan reached for the small bottle of conditioner to use as lube. His hand slicked Luke up, and he slipped his finger, blunt and broad, into Luke’s entrance. Luke whimpered a little, and Logan pressed a soft kiss on his back and then he slid in another finger, spreading him and getting him ready.
Moving his legs apart with his foot, he murmured, “Open yourself for me,” and bit down hard on the side of his neck. Luke jolted under him and cried out, but Logan held him immobile so he could take his pleasure. If sex was to be all there was between them, all Luke would give him, then he would take at least that.
Luke turned and glanced up at Logan, then back around to Logan’s fingers sliding into his ass. He moaned and put his forehead back against the wall of the tub. Logan’s fingers were in his ass, finding the spot that electrified him. He rubbed it hard, making him almost sob with the sensation. Luke pushed back into Logan’s touch, whimpering a little as Logan reached around and took hold of his cock, squeezing him tightly. His hand moved up and down Luke’s shaft and it seemed Luke didn’t know which way to move—forward into Logan’s hand or back into his fingers. He cried out again and reached back blindly with his hand, as if for comfort.
“I know…I know…relax…” Luke was so warm and solid down the length of him. Logan pressed his mouth against his neck, pulled his fingers away and pushed his cock slowly into him, filling him up. Logan pushed in until he was so deep inside Luke he could feel the soft cheeks of his ass pressing against him.
Luke groaned and reached back to touch Logan’s hip once more, and Logan kissed his neck where he’d bit him and pumped into him, slowly, steadily, finding his rhythm. He nudged his legs farther apart so he could take him more deeply, giving his cock a hard pull at the same time.
“Tell me you want it,” Logan said in his ear. He needed to hear him say the words. “Tell me.”
Luke nodded. “I do want it. You know I do.”
Logan changed his angle, raking his cock over Luke’s prostate again and again. He yelled out hoarsely and thrust back into Logan, coming into his hand, helpless to stop it. Logan stroked him through it, reveling in the little shocks that were wracking his body and then thrust harder into him until he found his own release. He never took his hand away from Luke’s cock, even though he knew that Luke got sensitive after he came and wouldn’t want to keep being stimulated. He stayed inside him, unable to let him go until Luke laughed and turned to look at him.
“We have to get out now and dry off. I love you, but that water’s getting cold.”
“You love me?” Logan asked softly, urgently. He knew he was pushing. And he didn’t even care that he sounded needy—he had to know. To hear it from Luke again when they weren’t having sex, and he wasn’t about to come.
Luke twisted in his arms and gave him a quick, hard kiss. “What’s wrong with you? You know I do!” He pulled away and climbed out of the shower, grabbing for a towel. He dried himself as he walked toward the bedroom, laughing and dodging as Rio jumped him at the doorway.
Logan stared after him, feeling like he’d been tossed overboard but had just been thrown a life line. Luke said Logan had known how he felt, but did he know after all he’d just said? Something had come over both of them and it had happened so fast and yet so insidiously, he’d hardly been aware of it until it blew up around them and they were in the middle of it. Whatever it was that had happened in that basement, it was intricately tied to whatever it was that was going on with Jackson. He and Luke had almost come to blows and they could have done some serious damage to each other, maybe even killed each other. He shuddered as the memory of that coldness he’d felt in the shower came back to him. What if he had turned that on Luke? Or Luke had turned his power on him?
He had to find out what this was before it wound up destroying them all.
****
Logan had fully intended to make Luke talk about what had happened between them when he went back in the bedroom, but he found Luke already sound asleep, turned on his side with Rio lying happily beside him in the middle of the bed. Rio gave his tail a slow wag as Logan stood over the two of them, shaking his head.
He picked Rio up and moved him to the other queen bed in the room. He turned off the lamp, lay down beside Luke and turned on his side to go to sleep. Time enough to talk about it in the morning—maybe they could sleep off whatever had been affecting them so strongly and figure this thing out together. Talking things over with Luke had become almost second nature to him and he couldn’t give that up. Luke grounded him and made him think things through instead of going with the first thought that came to mind. He couldn’t lose that deep connection.
He needed to talk to Jackson, too, about what had happened in that ring and why he’d said he was in trouble, and he didn’t want to put it off much longer. The adrenalin rush he’d had when he and Luke had been arguing was draining away along with most of his energy. He was still wondering how he could contact Jackson and why the fuck he hadn’t taken his phone number, when he was overcome by a deep and dreamless sleep.
He awoke alone in bed the next morning and sat up, blinking at the empty space beside him. Before he could wake up enough to get alarmed, the door to the room opened and Luke came in, holding Rio by his leash. He smiled when he saw Logan sitting up in bed.
“Finally awake? I made as much noise as I could this morning, hoping you’d get up and take Rio for his walk, but you were dead to the world. It’s cold outside this morning. I think it’s going to rain.”
He unsnapped Rio’s leash and Rio jumped up on the bed beside Logan, giving him a few sloppy morning kisses. Logan pushed him off with a huff and rubbed his eyes, still trying to wake up. “Did you eat anything yet?”
“No, I thought I’d wait on you. But I was going to wake you if you weren’t up yet, because I’m starving. The breakfast downstairs smelled pretty good,” he said, opening the closet to hang up his jacket. “They have bacon, and some of those little sweet rolls you like.”
Logan sat up on the side of the bed, absently ruffling the hair on Rio’s head. He was feeling awkward and he didn’t like it, but Luke’s words from the night before were still there between them, even if Luke didn’t seem to realize it. “Did you see Perry and Jake down there?”
“No, but it’s still pretty early.” He turned to smile at Logan. “Don’t worry about them. I’m sure they got some money from Jackson for a cab or an Uber. They can take care of themselves.”
Logan glanced up at him, a little surprised at this change of heart from the night before. Then he’d been accusatory about leaving them behind and had taunted him with his own words. This was a change he didn’t quite trust.
“I know, but I shouldn’t have just left them there to get their own ride back here. I still can’t believe I did that.”
“We were both distracted last night, though, right? Weren’t we arguing about something? I must have had too much to drink—I don’t remember much about any of it.”
“You didn’t drink too much though. We each had only one beer upstairs before we talked to Jackson.”
“Could they have spiked our drinks?”
“I don’t see how. That waitress brought us unopened cans.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. I didn’t remember that.”
Logan gave him a sharp look. “Just what do you remember about last night?”
“Not much, like I said. We got back to the hotel. Had an argument, but I don’t remember what it was about. I know I was really mad at you about something, though.” He shrugged. “Then I guess I got over it because I remember us taking a shower together, and I went to bed. I was really tired, I guess.” He came over to sit beside Logan. “That’s about it. Why? Did something else happen?”
“A few things, yeah. Come on. I’ll get dressed and we’ll go down for breakfast and talk about it. I’d like to check on Perry and Jake too.”
As it turned out Logan didn’t have to check, because they were eating breakfast when they got into the small, crowded dining room where the hotel served a complimentary breakfast. Jake’s plate was heaped with bacon and eggs, while Perry was eating a waffle and reading a newspaper. He was wearing a pair of thin-looking leather gloves. Jake glanced up as Luke and Logan stopped by their table, but after one glance, Perry kept his head down and the newspaper up, covering his face.
“I’m really sorry about last night,” Logan said, sliding into the empty chair next to Jake. “I had to get out of there, but that’s no excuse for just leaving you guys like that. I don’t know what to say.”
Perry glanced around the edge of the newspaper and snarled. “Well, I know what to say, you piece of shit. We had to walk three blocks, then wait over an hour at the bus stop to catch a Marta bus back to the hotel. Do you know what kind of people are out on the streets of Atlanta at one o’clock in the morning? Panhandlers and thugs, that’s who! We almost got mugged. And don’t even get me started about the people riding the damn bus at that time of night.”
Jake grinned. “It was bad. Especially the bus ride home. We had to change twice, but we survived. I was pretty mad last night, I’m not gonna lie. But I’m mostly over it now. What happened anyway? We saw you go down into the crowd after Luke, and then you just vanished.”
“Nothing happened exactly. Well, it did, but it’s hard to explain. Why didn’t you get Jackson to give you enough money for a ride?”
“We talked to him for a few seconds when it was over and we were looking for you,” Perry said, putting down the paper and shoveling in a huge bite of waffle. “He asked what hotel we were staying in and said he’d come by to see us this morning. Then that Dread guy came for him and said they had to go. Took his arm and led him off before we got a chance to ask him anything. I don’t like that guy much…there’s just something about him.”
“He’s got some kind of hold over Jackson,” Logan said. “I haven’t figured out their deal yet.”
“He said he’d come by here and then you can ask him.”
“Maybe.”
“We stayed ‘til it was over,” Jake said, giving Logan another long look. “We thought you might come back.”
Perry gave him a resentful glare. “Then by the time we’d figured out you must have ditched us, Jackson had disappeared with Dread. So we asked around for directions to the bus stop and then took off walking.”
Luke came over to the table and plunked a plate down in front of Logan. It was heaped with bacon, eggs, grits, toast and sweet rolls. He set down his own plate that contained fruit and two hard boiled eggs. “Go ahead with your apology, and I’ll get coffee.”
“Cream and sugar this time,” Logan called after him and turned back to see Perry shaking his head at him.
“What is it?”
“You and him…I don’t get it.”
“What’s there to get?”
Perry leaned over to get some sugar and brushed Logan’s hand in the process. He flinched as if Logan had struck him, but he shook his head after a second and kept talking.
Before Logan could answer, Luke returned with Logan’s coffee. He gave Perry a long, narrow look, taking away any doubt that he’d overheard that remark. “First of all, I’m not a lady, old or otherwise. And if you call your wife that, no wonder she isn’t nice to you. Second of all, he doesn’t boss me around and nobody made me ride in the bed of the truck. I rode back there on the way down here to give you room, and if I do what Logan says to do, then that’s either my choice, my problem or none of your damn business.”
“Oh snap, Perry,” Jake said, laughing at him. “What do you say now?”
“Nothing, if he’s smart,” Logan said, frowning at him.
Jake glanced back at Perry. “Except he’s not, so what do you have to say for yourself, man?”
“Shut up. Logan doesn’t scare me.” He glanced up at Logan and sighed. “Okay, so maybe he scares me a little, but that was still a crappy thing to do to us. Leaving us like that.”
“I know. I said it was, and I’m trying to apologize.”
“Just don’t do it again,” he said, jabbing his fork in Logan’s direction. “We’re supposed to be in this shit together.”
“Agreed,” Logan said. “Now can we talk about what happened at that club last night?”
“What do you mean?” Jake said, taking a sip of coffee. “You mean the fights?”
“Why do I get this same reaction out of everybody? Yes, I mean the goddamn fights. Didn’t you see what was going on in there? You’ve been telling us how fucking psychic you are…didn’t you feel it?”
“I did,” Jake said softly, putting down his cup and staring toward the window. “Or I think I did. I couldn’t remember much about it this morning though. I think—at the time—I kind of wanted to get in there and join in. But I don’t know why, exactly.”
“I felt that too,” Perry admitted, nodding. “It was all violent and raw, but it was like I’d been waiting for a chance to take my aggression out on somebody just like they were doing. To get back at them for how screwed up my life is right now. To make somebody pay.”