by Kori Hart
“You look…” I waited for my coworker to finish speaking. She studied me a moment longer. “Different.”
“Maybe it’s because I had leftover pizza for breakfast on my walk to work,” I said with a shrug.
I put my things down on my desk, right beside hers, and sunk down into the office chair. If I was being honest, I felt different. It wasn’t the feeling one got after having a night of passionate sex–especially when it had been awhile. No, there was something else different, and I didn’t know what it was.
“I hope you’re ready,” Amber, my coworker, said in a whisper. “It’s technically Friday, but it will feel like Monday. I heard they will force us to work throughout the weekend.”
“Can they do that?” I asked under my breath.
Amber shrugged. She leaned up to look over the cubicle before sitting back down and facing her computer.
“Rumor is the client bumped up the completion date,” she whispered to me.
“Please tell me it wasn’t the client that we just took on.” I felt a knot in my stomach at the thought of having to rush through something.
“Apparently but I guess we’ll wait and see.” Amber shrugged.
I thought about what she said and what it would mean for all of us. I took a deep breath and unpacked my things. There was no sense in stressing about something that hadn’t been announced yet.
“Meeting in 15 minutes,” Michael, our supervisor, announced from the front of the office.
Amber and I looked at one another. This could only mean one thing. They bumped the deadline up and there would be lots of overtime in our future.
“I'm getting coffee before the meeting starts,” I announced, standing up from my desk.
As I walked to the break room, I did my best not to look at anyone I passed by. I could hear the whispered murmurs of office gossip. Everyone wanted to throw out their ideas about what the boss would say at the meeting.
That wasn’t why I didn’t want to look at anyone. I felt like my feelings were written all over my face and any one of my fellow employees could read me like a book. The last thing I wanted them to know was I had had a one-night stand.
The mere thought of that phrase made my stomach turn. It wasn’t what I wanted, and it certainly wasn’t what Jordan had in mind.
But was I ready for more? I wish I had the answer to that question.
I walked into the break room and saw three other people had the same idea. I got in line to wait my turn at the coffee machine and let my mind wander back to Jordan.
He was a wonderful guy. Sweet, charming, sexy. All outstanding qualities. He had a job. A well respected one at that. I wouldn’t have to worry about my mother saying “you’re dating the garbage man?” in her snotty tone. And the cherry on top, he was a fabulous lover.
It was my turn to get my cup of coffee and I wondered why I was so hesitant to jump into a relationship with him.
I poured some coffee into my cup and then slid to the side to add my sugar and cream. I stirred it around and admitted to myself that I liked him. I liked him a lot.
But… there was always a but.
“Meeting time,” Michael announced as he walked by the open doorway.
I took a sip and walked out to join the others heading to the conference room.
As soon as I entered, I moved to take the seat next to Amber. I got comfortable in my seat after another sip from my cup.
Michael moved to the front of the room and everyone’s chatter died down. It seemed I wasn’t the only one anticipating what he would say.
“As some of you have heard, there have been some changes made on our recent project.” Michael looked around the room. I did the same.
There were only about twenty employees for the entire company, including the higher ups. Most were in design like me or in sales. It looked like nearly all of them were crowded around the large u-shaped table in the conference room–eager to hear what Michael had to say.
“Yes, the client moved up the deadline.” Michael paused as several people groaned. Some turned to their neighbors and whispered things that I couldn’t hear.
“That means there will be mandatory overtime for the foreseeable future.” Michael paused again. The groans were louder and the hushed voices weren’t as quiet. “You will be compensated and expected to still produce quality work. If we make this a success, there is a guarantee we’ll have plenty more work in the future.”
“So they say,” one guy at the other end of the room grumbled.
“I have it in writing,” Michael told him sternly. He looked at everyone else. “I will provide lunch. Dinner too, if necessary.”
I looked to Amber, and she raised her eyebrows at me. We both had a feeling this would happen. It wasn’t the first time, and I doubted it would be the last.
Michael spoke some more, but I wasn’t paying attention. My mind drifted again.
Jordan reentered my thoughts, and I didn’t fight it. I needed to understand whatever was going on with my head and my heart. If I missed part of the meeting that had any importance, Amber would fill me.
I ran my fingers over my eyes as I weighed the pros and cons once more. There seemed to be more positives, especially considering my love of crime, and he was the closest thing I’d ever get to that world. I immediately scolded myself for thinking like that. That wasn’t how relationships worked, and I knew as much.
After another sip of coffee, I took a deep breath and knew I was making excuses. I was pulling at strings to justify the actual reason I hadn’t jumped at the chance to be with Jordan.
I wasn’t ready for a relationship.
Jordan
Throughout my shift, I wanted to text Natalie and let her know that I was thinking about her. I wanted to see how she was doing. Was she thinking about our night together? Did she want to grab a bite to eat somewhere after work?
A thousand questions ran through my head as I thought about her but knew I shouldn’t bother her. She was at work and so was I. It was a busy day for us. Sam and I rushed from service call to service call, doing our best to keep the peace.
The end of my shift finally rolled around, and I got ready to head out the door. I stopped in the locker room and pulled out my phone. It was a little after five and I pictured Natalie walking home from work, carrying her portfolio and whatever else she didn’t want to leave at the office.
The thought made me smile as I texted her a message.
Jordan: I hope you had a pleasant day. Want to grab some dinner?
Natalie: My day wasn’t bad. I hope yours wasn’t too stressful. I can’t grab dinner. I’m working late.
Jordan: It wasn’t too bad. I thought about you a lot and time flew. I can bring you dinner.
Natalie: Boss ordered some already.
Jordan: What about tomorrow?
Natalie: Working.
Jordan: On Saturday?
Natalie: Yes
Jordan: Bummer. Maybe we can do breakfast.
Natalie: I don’t think so.
A rock landed in my stomach and I could tell, even in texts, that I was getting brushed off. I was confused and wanted to know what happened.
I pulled up Natalie’s number and hit send. It rang four times before going to voicemail. Not bothering to leave a message, I hung up and went back to my texts.
Jordan: I’d really like to know what happened and would rather not talk about it in text messages.
Natalie: I can’t talk right now. I’m busy working.
Jordan: When can we talk?
Natalie: There’s nothing to talk about. We had an amazing night together, but I don’t think I’m ready for anything more than that.
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn’t form words to say what I was feeling. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and left the station.
Anger was building inside me as I approached my truck. I felt like a complete fool.
Chapter 6
Jordan
The weeks tha
t followed were a blur. I didn’t reach out to Natalie, no matter how many times I wanted to.
Sam knew something was going on and I eventually told him what happened. I’ve never been one to kiss and tell, but I needed to get it off my chest. I left out some details, for obvious reasons. I needed his input and guidance on how to get my mind back on track. The last thing I needed was to be distracted at work.
“You should have seen this coming a mile away,” he had said. He wasn’t a fan of Natalie’s because of her involvement with the department in the past.
The anger I felt toward him wasn’t like anything I had ever experienced before. I pinned him up against the lockers until he apologized for the words he said.
I knew there was no way to convince him she was sweet and caring, perfect really. All he knew was the stories other guys said about a woman obsessed with police officers and trying to stick her nose into business that wasn’t her own.
He walked on eggshells around me for a few days until things went back to normal. Sam apologized and admitted that he should give me some credit. I know how to read people and this wasn’t my first rodeo. I can spot fakes pretty easily. If Natalie gave me any reason to doubt she wasn’t genuine, I wouldn’t be so hung up on her.
It felt good to know Sam was on my side. He trusted my judgment and felt terrible things had ended as they did. I honestly don’t know if things ever got started, but I liked to think there was something there between Natalie and I. I suppose time will tell if we're meant to be or not.
“Tell me again why we volunteered to cover the Saturday night shift,” Sam chuckled. He turned down another road, scanning the sidewalks before looking at me.
“I needed something to do, and you needed the extra money,” I said simply. I fixed my eyes on the passenger window, watching the people and making sure I saw nothing suspicious.
“Don’t worry,” Sam said. “Things will turn around.”
I know he was trying to cheer me up or at least lighten the mood. He seemed to always be trying to make me laugh. It felt like a long time since I was happy. I tried hard not to let the dark cloud hang over my head, but my heart hurt. Natalie had taken up residency in the matter of minutes and refused to leave. I didn’t know what to do other than let myself mourn the loss and heal.
“I feel pretty pathetic. I shouldn’t be so down in the dumps. It’s not like it was a long time relationship that ended,” I said with a sigh. “I wish I could stop feeling like this.”
“It was love at first sight,” Sam said with a shrug. “It happens and you can’t blame yourself for it.”
“I suppose you’re right.” I looked out the front window and tried to push Natalie from my mind.
Sam continued to drive around our assigned area. We surveyed the sidewalks, the streets and the stores we passed by. It was better than sitting at a desk back in the office doing paperwork.
The hours slipped by and darkness took over the city. I knew the calls would start coming in more frequently now, especially for a Saturday.
I was looking out the window and watching two guys walk by. They weren’t doing anything suspicious, but they looked familiar. I was trying to place them when a dispatcher’s voice came out through the radio.
“Isn’t that Natalie’s address?” Sam asked.
I looked at him, and then at the screen of the mobile computer mounted between us. Natalie’s name was in the caller field and her address followed.
“We have to go!” I said frantically.
“Already on the way,” Sam informed me.
I read over the rest of the information put into the call for service, not wanting to miss any detail. There was someone trying to enter her home again.
A flood of emotions hit me. I was worried about her, knowing how scared she was. I was angry someone would attempt to frighten her again. She didn’t deserve it. I also felt a bit anxious. I was the one to protect her and if I didn’t get there in time….
I shook my head, clearing my mind of the thoughts.
“Drive faster,” I ordered, hitting the switch for the lights and sirens.
Natalie
Tears filled my eyes as I hid in my closet. I couldn’t believe this was happening again.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my head. All I could think about was Jordan. I wanted to call him, ask him to come over and protect me.
It wasn’t right of me to think he would drop everything. Not after I brushed him off and didn’t get in touch with him in the weeks that followed.
After taking a deep, shaky breath, I wiped at my cheeks. I pushed away any stray tears and tried to listen for anyone inside my apartment. I didn’t know what I would do if someone was inside, but I told myself I would do something if it came down to it.
I hoped Roger had found a place to hide. The last I saw he was in the bathroom, but he wasn't there when I ran by after calling 911.
Time slipped by and I had no idea how long I had been in my closet. My body was rigid from trying not to move and I was a little light-headed from trying to slow my breath. I was so scared someone would hear me.
A loud bang at the door made me jump, and I strained to listen. Last time, it was the police trying to get my attention. I heard nothing and worried the person was trying to get back inside. Then a knock at my window made my heart race even more.
“Natalie. Open the door.”
I let out a sigh of relief when I head Jordan’s voice. Not only was he there, but everything was all right.
It took me a few minutes, but I crawled out of my closet and made my way to the front door. I undid the locks and opened the door, not expecting to see a man in handcuffs. He was standing with Sam near the patrol car. I noticed his clothes had holes in different areas and dirt all over. He glared at me and I flinched.
“Are you all right?”
I looked to the person standing in front of me and realized it was Jordan.
I nodded. Seeing his face brought everything back. I missed him. As crazy as it sounded, it was true. I missed his handsome face, his smile, his arms around me, his ability to make me feel safe, his love.
Love. I wondered if it was really what I was feeling. The fear of settling down wasn’t there at all. My heart was trying to protect itself so it came up with another excuse, another lame reason.
“As you can see, we’ve arrested the guy. He admitted to trying to break in a few weeks ago. Do you recognize him at all?” Jordan asked.
I looked to the man again and shook my head. “I’ve never seen him before in my life.”
Jordan jotted down some notes into his notebook and then stepped backward off of the front porch. I wanted to reach out and pull him closer. The thought of him leaving was too much.
“Were there any other details that you noticed or remembered that you didn’t tell the dispatcher?” he asked.
I shook my head again. “I don’t think so.”
Jordan nodded. He made a few more notes before looking at me. “If you think of anything else, please call the non-emergency number to let one of the operators know. They can add it to the case notes.”
He wrote a case number on a piece of paper, ripped it from his notebook and then handed it out for me to take.
“I can’t call you?” I asked. I didn’t mean for my voice to sound as sad as it did, but it happened regardless.
“You can,” Jordan replied. “I figured you’d rather talk to someone else.”
I shook my head and looked away. I glanced down at my hands and then finally back at Jordan.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone else,” I confessed. It wasn’t the most ideal time to have this conversation, but I had to say what I was thinking and let him know how I was feeling.
“That’s okay. You can call me…” Jordan started to say, but I cut him off with a shake of my head.
“What I’m trying to say is I miss you and I want to be able to talk to you and see you every day,” I added.
“But you…”
Jordan frowned a little and took a step closer. “Are you going to tell me what's going on with you? I want to understand.”
“I fell in love with you,” I blurted out. It was loud enough for Sam to hear because I noticed his head turn in our direction. I ignored him, keeping my attention on Jordan.
He moved closer to me, so close I stepped backward and into my apartment. Jordan’s focus was on me. His eyes darkened and shivers ran down my spine. He kicked the door closed and pulled me into his arms the moment we heard it latch. His lips were on mine, hot and heavy. I melted against his body, my hands grabbing his arms to steady myself.
The taste of him made me want to rip his uniform off and have him carry me off to bed. All the long days spent at work, the minutes I spent missing him, they were all forgotten and washed away.
His hands held me close, sliding down my back until they reached my butt. The feel of him made my heart race. The heat between us was increasing and if we didn’t stop soon, I wouldn’t hesitate begging for him to take me to bed.
Jordan deepened the kiss while one hand grabbed my ass, and the other ran over my hip. It kept sliding down until it was nestled against my pussy, two fingers pressing the fabric of my shorts up against my clit.
“Jordan,” I mumbled against his lips. “You have to work,” I reminded him. “And you’re turning me on so much.”
“I love you, Natalie,” Jordan whispered. “I want you but you’re right.”
We both opened our eyes. I looked into his while he rested his forehead against mine. His fingers pushed against my clit again and I sighed. He pulled his fingers away before pushing back against me.
“Let me take care of you,” he pleaded as he kissed on my neck.
“What about Sam?” I asked. His lips touched a sensitive spot, and I moaned. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
Jordan continued to kiss my skin a few more times before he pulled back. He smiled at me, kissed my lips and then pulled away.