by T L Swan
The lump in my throat nearly chokes me.
The door slams again and Jenna appears with the car keys in her hand. “I’m going to take Owen for an ice cream,” she announces.
Cameron’s eyes are fixed firmly on the steps in front of him, he’s in shock.
“Jenna, this is Cameron,” I murmur.
“Hi, Cameron.” She smiles sympathetically.
“Hello,” he answers robotically without looking up.
I kiss Owen before he and Jenna get into the car and drive away.
“Come in. Please. We need to talk.”
His eyes finally rise to meet mine, but this time they flash with fury and I’m a little scared to be alone with him.
He walks into the house and I follow as h
e takes his place in the lounge room.
“Start fucking talking,” he orders quietly.
I shake my head as tears of despair fill my eyes. “I don’t even know where to start,” I whisper.
“How about at the beginning?” He growls.
I jump at his tone. “Don’t be angry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be angry? Don’t be fucking angry?” He cries out as he kicks the sofa.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, I lied and said I didn’t have children on the paperwork. I… I didn’t want to get in trouble,” I stammer in a rush.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head in disgust.
“This isn’t about us anymore, Cam. We don’t matter in this equation,” I whisper.
His eyes rise to meet mine.
“I knew that once you found out that we had a son, I would become your child’s mother and nothing more—the psycho that turned up with your kid.” I scrunch up my face, tears still falling. “I’d no longer be the woman desperately in love with you.”
“Don’t you dare,” he shouts as he points at me. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me you love me like this!”
“But I do Cameron,” I cry.
“Stop messing with my head! He’s not mine, he can’t be. I wore a condom. I was there, remember?”
“I know,” I sob. “One of them must have broke. I was on the injection too. I didn’t even find out about him until I was sixteen weeks pregnant.”
He frowns, staring at the floor as he listens.
“Do you have any idea of the shame I’ve carried for five years? I didn’t even know my child’s father’s name,” I whisper.
His eyes rise to meet mine.
“I had no way of contacting you. I didn’t know anything about you.” I shake my head. “My parents were distraught that I was pregnant to a man whose name I didn’t even know.”
He swallows the lump in his throat.
“Cameron, I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to myself for a week.” I sob. “Just one week. And I know it was selfish, but it was the happiest ten days I have ever had.”
“Don’t.” He growls.
“This isn’t about us anymore. This is about Owen.”
He drops his head. “I can’t do this.”
“You have to.”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“Yes, you do. Owen needs a father, so you are going to step the hell up and be one.”
“Go to hell!” he yells.
“It’s time to grow up, Cameron.”
His dark eyes hold mine. “I will never forgive you for this as long as I live.”
My face screws up. “I love you, too,” I whisper.
With one last look, he leaves in a rush and slams the door, my heart physically hurts my chest.
I hear the car start outside and screech off down the street.
Dear God, help me.
* * *
It’s just gone light when something wakes me from my sleep.
Bang, bang, bang.
What the hell is that?
I’m delirious and feel like I’ve only just fallen asleep. It’s been a rough night. I grab my robe and head downstairs to whoever is banging on the door.
Is it Cameron?
I open the door in a rush to find a sheriff in front of me. My face falls.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“Are you Ashley Tucker?”
“Yes.”
“Can I see some identification, please?”
I frown. “What’s this about?” I go to the table and retrieve my wallet and hand over my licence.
“Sign here, please.” He points to the signatory line.
I sign and he hands me over the envelope and leaves.
I tear the envelope open and pull out the document.
A court injunction for paternity and DNA testing.
My eyes rise as a cold shiver runs through me.
He’s about to get nasty.
19
Ashley
I sit at the kitchen table and blow into my coffee cup, deep in thought.
“What are you going to do?” Jen asks.
I shrug. “Go to work, do my job.” I pause for a moment. “Ring Eliza and beg for my bar job back. Carry on as usual.”
She picks up the letter for the DNA testing and rereads it for the tenth time. “So you have to go to this medical centre tonight?”
I nod. “He’s meeting us there.”
She blows out a deflated breath and shakes her head. “Shit, this is horrible.”
I smirk. “This isn’t horrible. This is a relief. What’s horrible is not being able to tell your son who his father is.” I widen my eyes. “That’s horrible.”
“What’s going to happen when you see him at work today?”
I shrug. “He’ll probably carry on acting like a spoiled brat, as usual.”
“What about you and him?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “That’s over. He screwed any chance of that last night when I told him I loved him and he threw it back in my face.”
Jen frowns and grabs my hand over the table. “He’s just in shock, Ash.”
“I don’t care.” I sip my coffee. “I may be a lot of things, Jen, but weak isn’t one of them.”
She smiles sadly.
“I didn’t get myself through med school being a single parent just by fluke. I can do this on my own. I don’t want anything from him. He can go fuck himself.”
“Far out, Ash,” she whispers as she runs her hands through her hair.
“Owen starts preschool tomorrow, remember?” I smile. “That means you’ll get some more time to yourself.”
“God, that’s the last thing on my mind,” she mutters into her tea.
“Did you speak to our neighbor while you were away?”
She smiles. “I did actually. We messaged each other every day.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
She giggles. “Yeah, but he kind of wrecked it last night.”
“Why?”
“He sent me a cock shot. Why do guys assume we want to see their junk?”
I smile broadly. “Because they’re idiots and they think dicks are pretty.” I shake my head. “Can I see it?” I ask.
She widens her eyes. “No. For my eyes only.”
I smirk and raise an eyebrow. “How was it?”
“Fucking awesome,” she whispers and I laugh.
“Why don’t you go over there tonight and get an action shot?” I smile.
She smiles excitedly. “Maybe.” She bites her bottom lip in thought. “I need some serious laser on my bits, though.”
“Try and get an appointment today.”
“Yeah, I will.” She looks over at me and takes my hand again in hers. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I nod and fake a smile. I’m not. I’m so not okay, but I can’t fall in a heap. This is about Owen now and what he needs.
My needs don’t matter anymore.
* * *
I wait in the corridor with the other interns as we wait for Dr. Stanton to arrive. There’s a fire in my belly, a simmering ember that is starting to burn. When he served me with those papers this morning, he lit
a match inside of me.
How dare he question me saying he’s the father? Does he really think I’m stupid enough to try and trick him? He obviously thinks I’m loose and fuck around. I’ve slept with two damn men in six years, and then he questions if I’m lying about my own son’s paternity.
He must think I’m stupid.
More fool him.
The only thing questionable here is his character.
He’s a good man, a little voice screams from deep within, and I know it’s true. I just hope that one day we can become amicable, but at the moment I’m just so damn disappointed. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this let down by anyone in my life.
He comes into view around the corner, and I drop my head so I don’t have to look at him.
“Good morning, everyone.” He smiles casually.
“Hello,” I murmur along everyone, without making eye contact.
“I trust you all had a good night?” he asks.
My nostrils flare. Just shut the fuck up and start the rounds, asshole.
“I’m a bit tired from my hot date last night.” Amber smiles stupidly.
Oh God, cringe. Shut up. Her open flirting with Cameron is really grating on my nerves.
A trace of a smile crosses Cameron’s face before he hides it. “Excellent.” He smirks. “At least someone around here is having hot dates,” he adds.
The group laughs.
Don’t look at him. Do not look at him. Don’t fucking look at him.
How about I put a hot poker up your ass, dipshit? Does that count as a hot date?
Because it’s totally doable.
He starts his rounds and I follow at the back of the group. He’s being his usual, witty, fun self, while I’m over here internally drowning in blood from my broken, furious heart.
We get to Gloria’s room and Cameron smiles cheekily. “How is my favorite girl today?” He smiles.
She frowns and fake coughs. “Not too good today, doctor.”
He picks up her chart and reads it as he softly takes her hand in his. Gloria smiles up at him. I snap my eyes away in disgust.
Watching him here being so kind and fun with everyone while he totally ignores me is hard to take. Maybe I should ask for a transfer to Jameson’s team?
Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. I’m going to have to think on that one. The morning rounds seem to take forever and we stop at the café for the usual midmorning coffee where we all sit together. I glance at the spare tables around us and consider sitting somewhere else, but I know it will stand out to the others that something is wrong.
I stand behind Cameron as he waits in line. Amber is beside him, and if she isn’t careful, I’m going to king hit this bitch.
“Where do you like to go out Dr. Stanton?” She smiles. “I’m new to town and you know… it’s so hard to find descent places to go?”
“Yeah,” he replies, distracted. “I mostly go to friends’ houses and private parties.”
“Oh, really. Are there any parties coming up?” she asks as she runs her fingers through her hair.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and I roll my eyes. Please, give me a break.
She’s as subtle as a Mac Truck. I order my coffee and see some of the nurses from reception sitting over in the courtyard. I wave and smile.
Thank God, I’m saved. I’ll go and make conversation with them. I wait for my coffee and head over.
“Hello, Ashley,” they all chirp happily.
“Hi.” I smile. I love these four girls. They’re older, probably mid forties, and really nice. They’re all married with kids and have been around the hospital for years. “How have you all been?” I smile as I take a seat.
“Oh, good,” Tracey replies. “The damn plumbing is playing up, though, and a hot shower is hit and miss.”
“Oh no.” I frown. “That sucks.”
“Did you call that plumber I told you about?” Christine asks her.
I glance over and see Cameron deep in conversation with Amber. I come back to the plumbing conversation.
“He didn’t turn up and he spent all that time quoting. I just found it bizzare.” Tracey shakes her head.
Cameron laughs and I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. I swear to God, I’m going to lose my shit any second.
“Oh, man, will you look at him?” Tracey whispers.
The women all glance over and pretend not to look.
“Who?” I frown.
“Dr. Love.” Christine rolls her eyes and points to Cameron with her chin.
My stomach sinks and I glance back at them only to see Amber throw her had back and release the fakest laugh I’ve ever heard.
“Don’t you ever get involved with him, Ashley. He’s trouble,” Christine tells me.
I fake a smile and sip my coffee. I can’t help myself. I have to ask. “Why is that?”
“He breaks more hearts than he mends.”
“Bit of a player is he?” I ask.
“The worst kind. He sees more nurses in this hospital than patients. Every unmarried nurse in this hospital is in love with him, and he picks and chooses between them to use as his latest play toy.”
My heartbeat thuds.
“He treats them like crap, too,” Tracey whispers. “I don’t know why they put up with it,” she whispers.
I glance back over and right on cue, Amber and he laugh again.
“Treats them like crap?” I frown.
“Yes, tells them straight up that it’s just sex so don’t get any ideas about trying to snag him as their own.”
My heart runs out the bottom of my scrubs and onto the floor in a puddle.
How many women has he slept with?
How many women feel like I do about him?
I was just a number.
I sip my coffee, but I don’t taste it. My taste buds are dying by the second along with my pride.
Oh God, this is a mess. I can’t sit here any longer. I can’t take watching him over there with her, so I stand in a rush. “Catch you later, girls, I have to go make a call.”
I rush out of the cafeteria and down to the courtyard. I need to take back some control. I can feel my life slipping through my fingers. I take out my phone and dial Eliza’s number. She answers on the first ring.
“Hello, Eliza speaking.”
“Hey, Eliza. It’s Ashley.” I quickly correct myself. “I mean Vivienne.”
“Hello, dear.”
“Eliza, I know I left you in the lurch last week, but I was wondering if I could possibly ask for my job back, please?”
She stays silent as she thinks.
“I’m so sorry. I got this new boyfriend and I was trying to please him. I made a stupid decision and now he’s left me anyway,” I blurt out.
“Oh, Ash.” She sighs. “Why on earth would you let a man dictate your job?”
“I don’t know,” I murmur sadly. “Stupidity, I guess.”
She thinks for a moment and I close my eyes. I need this job. “Please...” I beg.
“Alright, come in on Thursday night for your normal shift.”
I smile sadly. “Thank you.”
“Hang on a second, please, Ashley.”
I frown as I wait on.
“Ash, I’ve just checked the roster and we’ve already filled your shift for Thursday night.”
“Oh.” I sigh.
“Maybe you could be on the door or something?”
I bite my bottom lip.
“It’s just one night and then you can go back to the bar.”
I stay silent.
“I really need someone who is flexible, Ashley.”
Shit.
“Can you help me out on Thursday night or not?” she asks.
Fuck, I screw up my face.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I eventually answer.
“Great, see you at ten.”
I smile. “Thanks, Eliza. I really appreciate it.”
* * *
It’s 6.10pm and Owen and
I are sitting in waiting room of the medical centre as we wait for Cameron. Of course he’s late. He’s timed it perfectly so he doesn’t have to talk to us.
My heart is in my throat, but Owen is happy enough, playing with his car on the seat.
The door opens and I look up. Cameron’s eyes meet mine and he nods once in acknowledgment. “Hello,” he offers coldly.
“Hello.” I fake a smile and I look to Owen. “Say hello to Cameron, Owie.”
Owen glances up. “Hello, Cameron.” He smiles cheekily.
Pain crosses Cameron’s face as he sees him and forces a smile to his face. “Hello, Owen.”
He sits down opposite us in the waiting room and drops his elbows to his knees, clenching his hands in front of him.
He’s nervous.
I take out my phone and pretend to scroll through it–anything to not see him go through this. Owen drops to his knees and drives his little tuck across the floor as he makes a tractor sound. Cameron’s eyes lift and he watches him in silence. The office door opens and a man comes out in a white coat. “Cameron Stanton?” He smiles.
Cameron stands, fakes a smile, and holds his arm out. “This is Ashley,” he introduces me.
“Hi.” I gesture to Owen. “This is Owen.”
He smiles. “Hello, Owen. That’s a great car you have there.”
Owen smiles. “It’s a truck. Cars don’t have diggers on the front.”
“Oh, yes, I see now.” He chuckles.
“Please, come in.”
The three of us stand and walk awkwardly into the office. Cameron and I sit next to each other. Owen climbs onto my lap and he holds his car up to show Cameron. “It’s blue.”
Cameron smirks. “I can see that.”
“So, we are here today for DNA Paternity testing, yes?” the man asks.
“Yes,” Cameron immediately answers.
“We will need some hair and saliva sample from both of you, and then we will run it through the computer.”
“How long will it take for the results?” Cameron asks.
“We will have the results in a few hours and they will be emailed to you both tonight.”
Cameron frowns and I roll my lips as my eyes find him. He looks like he’s about to vomit.
The doctor hands Cameron a swab. “If you can just brush it around the inside of your mouth, please.”
Cameron nods and takes the swab from him.
“Here, Owen, watch what Cameron does. You’re next,” I tell him.