by Erin Trejo
“You ain’t never been shy before,” I tell her. Her cheeks turn pink before she walks over and climbs under the covers with me.
“Who said I was shy? Maybe I’m just horny.” That gets a chuckle out of me. Pulling her body closer to mine, I run my fingers over her stomach.
“Guess that’s gonna be an issue since you ain’t gettin’ shit from me tonight.” She flips her head so she can look at me and I almost laugh. “What?”
“What do you mean? I’ve been worried about you and now I can’t get the dick?”
“Nope. Not tonight. Tonight I just wanna hold you and my baby. Tomorrow you can tell me if I’m holdin’ a boy or a girl.”
“I can’t wait until tomorrow,” she whines. I chuckle at her impatience.
“Fine. Where’s the envelope?” Temple rolls onto her side and grabs the envelope off the table, passing it to me. I rip it open and read it before tossing it to the floor and pulling her back into me with a smile on my face.
“What are you doing?” she asks as I kiss her shoulder and press my hand to her belly.
“Holdin’ my girls.”
Twenty-Five
Temple
I’ve replayed his words over and over. His girls. We’re having a girl. I couldn’t believe it. I sit and wait for him while he’s in church. The girls are busy setting up for the weekend. I’m anxious. We are going to tell Wanda that she’s having a granddaughter. I don’t think I’ve seen Marc this happy since I met him. He’s still on edge about whoever was following me yesterday, but he is just as excited as I am about the baby. I can’t believe in four more months I’ll be holding our daughter in my arms. When I hear the men’s voices booming and laughing, I turn and look over my shoulder as they all come out of the room. Sly winks at me, Gauge smiles, but the look on Shaft’s face is priceless. His eyes are brighter than ever and it sets a flame afire in my heart. He saunters toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he’s close enough, he grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet.
“I love you,” he says keeping his eyes on mine.
“I love you too.”
“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that?” His smile is infectious. I’ve never seen him so happy and beaming.
“Not long enough. I should have made you wait,” I tease him. He throws his head back and laughs when I lean in and press a kiss to his throat. He groans and pulls his head back down to look at me.
“I invited mom here.”
“You did what?” I raise my eyebrows and stare at him as if he’s lost his mind
“Figured it’d be safer for now. I still don’t know who the fuck was followin’ you but I got an idea.”
“Who?” I ask narrowing my eyes at him. If he knows, he won’t tell me but that doesn’t stop me from asking anyway.
“Nice try. I ain’t tellin’ you shit so you can go all crazy on him like you did that fucker’s car,” he laughs.
“You don’t think it’s him, do you?” Unease slithers its way through me when my phone rings.
“It’s not him. Answer that,” he says nodding toward my pocket. He pulls back and turns to talk to Gauge as I answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, babe. I know this is all wrong but I need to tell you something,” my friend from work, Dana says.
“What is it?”
“That girl you said you had issues with, Riley, she had a miscarriage.” I gasp at her words. That’s not true. I’ve seen her.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I saw her chart. She was trying to transfer to another office. I don’t know, she was saying she didn’t trust her privacy here.” Just as I’m about to open my mouth the front door opens and she walks in, belly and all. I’m confused. Did she lie? Is she lying?
“Wow. Okay. Thanks for that.” I slowly lower the phone from my ear as I watch her. She looks pregnant. She has a belly. Shaft walks toward her and I see them talking when his hand rests on her stomach. She talks animatedly, her hands moving through the air. I don’t know what to think or feel. I’m stunned.
“She won’t be around long,” Dezzy says stepping up next to me.
“She’s pregnant.”
“Well yeah but she can’t prove it’s his.” That’s not what I meant but I can’t tell her. I can’t tell anyone or I’ll lose my job, but doesn’t Shaft deserve to know? I need to tell him don’t I? I open my mouth but I don’t know what to say so I quickly snap it shut.
“So, have you thought of any names for her?” Dez asks pulling my attention to her.
“Not really. Shaft said we were going to call my parents tonight to tell them. I’m nervous,” I admit.
“Don’t be. Who cares what they say? You have family here now. Shaft is going to be a great dad.” I nod my head knowing that’s all true when I feel hands slip around my waist. Fingers tickle my belly making the baby move.
“She already loves her daddy, yeah?” His lips caress my neck and I melt into him. Resting my head on his shoulder, I sigh.
“I need to talk to you,” I tell him reluctantly.
“What is it?”
“Can we go in the room?” I don’t want to tell him in front of everyone because I don’t know how he’s going to take the news. My heart beats rapidly in my chest and I’m not sure why. Nervousness? Fear? Shaft shifts and chuckles, pressing his cock into my back.
“You always wanna be in that room, don’t you?” I can’t help but smile at him but when I shake my head he must realize somethings wrong. He spins me in his arms, cupping his hands around the sides of my neck. “What is it?”
“It’s about Riley.”
“No, I don’t want to talk about her anymore.”
“I just got a call and I think you should know what I was told,” I tell him. He licks his lips and glances around quickly before blowing out a breath.
“Okay. What is it?”
“She isn’t pregnant. She had a miscarriage.” Dropping his hands quickly, he takes a step away from me. My heart moves with him.
“Why are you doin’ this?”
“Doing what?”
“Why are you makin’ shit up, Temple? Didn’t I say that I loved you? I moved you into my house. You! Not her!”
“Marc, I’m not making shit up. That was a nurse that I work with. Why would she tell me that?” I move toward him but he raises his hand to stop me. What the hell is happening right now? Marc moves back toward me, gripping my face in his hands this time.
“I know this is hard for you. I know havin’ her come around isn’t ideal but that’s my baby too and after the shit I saw in that house, I have to be a better dad, Temple. I couldn’t live with myself if anything like that happened to my kids. Do you get that?” I nod my head.
“I do, I do get it, but that’s not the point. If she isn’t even preg-“
“Stop! She is, Temple. Those are facts! Jesus, why can’t you stop? I get it - it’s hard to see her around, but I’m not sendin’ her away with my kid. I can’t. Fuck!” he roars before spinning on his heel and walking away.
I know that he’s stressed from what he saw. I know how he feels about kids. Maybe I was wrong to bring it up. Maybe the paperwork was wrong. Everyone continues to move around the room as I wrap my arms around myself and head out the side door. It doesn’t take me long to walk to the water’s edge and sit.
“Sometimes life is hard, sweetheart.” I smile as I swipe at the tears on my cheeks. OB sits down in the sand next to me holding out a bottle of water.
“Sometimes it shouldn’t have to be. Now is one of those times, Barnie. I shouldn’t be arguing with him. We should be happy and…and planning things. Picking names.” Barnie throws his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder.
“He’s a man, darlin’. Men are a different kind of human. We don’t think right when we have too much information. What’s this about?”
“I heard that Riley isn’t pregnant, that she had a miscarriage.”
“No,” I say softly looking down at my lap.
“She was just there, yeah? Belly and all?”
“Yeah, which is why I’m confused. I don’t know if she’s lying or if the files got mixed up at work.”
“Is that possible? The files gettin’ mixed up?” he asks.
“It is. It’s happened before. If someone isn’t paying enough attention.”
“So, she could still be pregnant?” I know where this is going and I hate that I even opened my mouth but I just have a feeling that this is the truth. I have a feeling she is faking it.
“I guess,” I say softly. Barnie leans in and presses a kiss to the top of my head before he sighs and rests his against it. We sit in silence, just watching the water as it rolls over the sand.
“Can I interrupt?” I hear Gauge’s voice but I don’t turn to look at him. Barnie does.
“Maybe. What do you want?” he asks with a soft chuckle.
“I wanna talk to Temple.” Barnie sighs and reluctantly climbs to his feet and walks away when Gauge takes his place. He bends his knees, resting his arms there as he stares out at the water.
“I always believed that things happened for a reason. Like there was a purpose for all of it. You know how messed up Dez was, you saw it. There were days when I hated her,” he says keeping his gaze on the water.
“You still have those days?” I ask.
“Some days I don’t know. I see the look in her eyes when there are drugs around and I get pissed. I see the way she licks her lips like she could almost taste it on her tongue. I hate it. Every goddamn second of it.”
“But you love her.”
He nods before looking over at me. “I love her and I’d do anything for her. She knows that. Even on days that seem hard as fuck, that love is what keeps us goin’. You get what I’m sayin’, sweetheart?”
I nod my head slowly. I do get it. I need to be a better girlfriend.
Twenty-Six
Shaft
Each day brings me closer to meeting my daughter. Each day seems to be pulling Temple further away from me too. I know she hates having Riley around and I can’t blame her for that, but the fact is, if that’s my child, I want to be around for it. Although Riley has made it clear she doesn’t want me at any of the appointments, it still stings. I want to be there and know what’s happening with my child but I also respect her decision.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” my mom asks once more as I sit back and watch Temple out in the garden. She runs her fingers over the flowers, caressing each one. I can’t pull my eyes away from her.
“I don’t know, Mom. She told me somethin’ the other day and I blew up at her. She’s been pushin’ me away since then. I didn’t mean it the way it came out, but fuck.” My mom moves to block my view of Temple, my eyes moving to hers instead.
“This is life, Marc. Things happen, words get said, but it’s what’s in your heart that matters the most. I know you love her, I can see it in your eyes. Talk to her, be there for her.”
I nod my head before moving. I walk out the side door and around back to find her near the fountain.
“Used to splash my cousin all the time. Threw her in there once,” I say. Temple smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.”
“It isn’t about that, Marc. The fact that you assumed I was lying and that it was all about her being around, that hurt. I know you want your baby.” Her eyes move to mine and I can see the hurt in them. Moving toward her, she stops me, raising her hand and pressing it to my chest.
“Come on, Temple.”
“No. This thing between us all happened so fast, Marc. It was…just fast. I need some time. I need to think about everything. I thought that I’d be okay with her being around because it is your baby but I don’t know if I can stand it, seeing you touching her.”
“It wasn’t like that and you know it, Temple,” I argue. She was there, she saw it all. There was nothing sexual in the way I touched Riley’s stomach. Just like with Temple, I wanted to feel my baby. Maybe I was wrong for doing it. I don’t really know anymore and I’ve never been in this situation either.
“That’s not really the point. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Will you just take me home?”
I try to step into her again but her hand remains on my chest, keeping me back. I nod my head and turn on my heel walking toward the front as she follows. I send my mom a quick text letting her know that we’re leaving. I can’t believe this shit. I thought everything was going so great between us and then Riley showed back up. It isn’t really her fault though. I should have expected some animosity between the two of them, but I never expected Temple to pull away from me. And that hurts. It truly hurts that I finally found something I wanted and now it’s being ripped away from me once again.
The ride back to the house was silent. Temple didn’t speak but I knew she was crying. I could hear her sniffles. I’m on edge as we walk into the house. Everything feels wrong.
“Temple,” I say her name softly. She doesn’t turn to look at me. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her body, pulling her into my chest. “I’m sorry.” Her head lowers but she doesn’t pull away. That’s a plus, isn’t it? I lean down and press a kiss to the back of her neck and listen to her sigh.
“I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap.” She doesn’t move though.
“Can I come with you?” I don’t want to push her but God do I want to be near her. I’m sick of this. I’m sick of not feeling her warmth against me, her heart beating with mine. I’m tired of all of it so when she nods her head, my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. I pull away from her and grab her hand, leading her down the hall to our room. Once we’re inside, I release her and shrug out of my cut and boots. Temple sits on the edge of the bed pulling her shoes off and I chuckle a little. She looks up, a question in her eyes.
“The baby is in your way, yeah?” I smile as I nod at her stomach.
“She’s getting bigger that’s for sure.”
I move to help her pull her shoes off, a little surprised that she lets me. When I’m done, she climbs up and lies on her side. I move in and lie behind her, pulling her body closer to mine. She hasn’t let me do this in weeks and it’s killed a part of me. I felt the ache in my chest but having her right now, that soothes it all.
“You know I was a big baby,” I tell her trying to keep her head here with me.
“How big?” she asks sounding a little afraid. That makes me laugh.
“Big. Almost ten and half pounds.” She rolls her head to look up at me and the look on her face makes me laugh harder. Her mouth hangs open as she stares at me.
“And you didn’t think to tell me this before?”
“Didn’t know I was makin’ a baby before. You can handle it, you took my cock like a champ,” I tell her with a laugh. She actually smiles this time.
“Your mom is my hero if she had you naturally,” she adds before rolling her head back to the side. I sigh and inhale her scent.
“Ain’t it a little nasty to think about?”
“What?”
“The fact that you came out of your mom’s pussy? Now that we’re talkin’ about it, that’s bad. Fuckin’ hell. I shot out of her cum ramp.” Temple bursts into laughter, her whole body shaking.
“A cum ramp?” she asks through her laughter.
“It’s like a boat ramp. You know, the boat eases in there and shoots into the water. Seems like the same concept to me. Cock goes in, shoots the baby makers. Cum ramp.” Her body jostles around as she laughs harder.
“Stop! I’m going to piss myself!” She laughs more.
“You tryin’ to give new meanin’ to wettin’ my sheets?” Her laughter doesn’t stop and I don’t want it to. This is what I want. I want us to be okay and be happy. Slowly it does stop though. She calms back into my arms.
“I’m sorry I’m making thi
s harder for you,” she whispers.
“Temple, I love you. I don’t know what’s happenin’ in that head of yours but I’ll do whatever you want me to do and whatever I have to do to prove that you are the only one I want. I can’t stand you pullin’ away from me. It hurts, babe. I need you. I think you know that, too.”
“I need you too. I’m just so unsure of everything right now.”
“And that’s okay. You can be unsure but let me help you find what you’re lookin’ for. I love you, Temple.”
Twenty-Seven
Temple
We must have fallen asleep. I yawn and roll over to see Shaft not in bed with me anymore when I hear what woke me. Noises in the other room. What the hell is he doing out there? I climb out of bed and open the door, walking into the hallway. I only make it a few steps when I realize the noise is coming from the nursery he set up for Riley’s baby. I walk down there slowly and shove the door open only to gasp at what I see.
“Marc!” I scream his name when I see him passed out on the floor, three men standing over him. All eyes come to me including hers. Riley has a baseball bat in her hands, breaking everything in sight.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I scream as I move into the room. She turns fully to look at me, her stomach still present.
“Me? There are so many things wrong with me right now, Temple. The fact that you are you! The fact that you ruined everything! This is all your fault. All of it!”
“What did I do?” I ask although I’m pretty sure this is all over Marc.
“Just shut up, you stupid girl. I told you. I warned you to stay away from him,” she screams before swinging the bat around, crushing the mirror that hung above the dresser. I cringe at the sound and start to back away when hands wrap around me from behind. Before I can scream a hand clasps over my mouth. Panic rises inside of me, my heart leaping in my chest.
“Don’t try to fight them. They will hurt you. It’s what I’ve paid them to do.” Her eyes look almost sad but I can’t think of why they would be. She doesn’t give a shit about me.