by Erin Trejo
“Watch…fuck!”
“Oh shit. Is that her head? Babe, is that her head?” he asks as if I can see down there. The way my body screams in pain, I’d say yes. I try to breath but this pain is indescribable. My lip bleeds from the way I’ve been biting it but I can’t help it. Each push, I can feel my body ripping in half.
“Get it out, Shaft!” I scream. He’s down there, hands out and ready. If it didn’t hurt so badly it would be amusing. Sweat trickles down my temples as I push again.
“Oh, shit. Fuck. I’m just gonna catch it,” he mumbles more to himself than to me. One more push and I know she’s out. Marc moves, wrapping her in the shirt.
“You have to cut the cord,” I say as my head drops back onto the ground. Marc’s eyes are fixed on the baby in his arms. Her soft cries turn to louder ones making my heart speed up. She’s okay. She’s going to be okay.
“We have a daughter, Temple. She’s beautiful,” he says softly. I nod but I feel so damn weak I can barely stand it.
“Cut her cord, Marc.”
“We gotta get you out of here,” he says softly before passing her to me. I hold her in my arms but it’s hard to keep my eyes open. I’m tired.
“Marc?”
“I got it baby. I got you. I got you both,” he says moving closer to me. Marc lifts me in to his arms, keeping me pulled against his chest. Somehow he manages to drape his cut over me and the baby before he stands and starts walking.
“I’m bleeding,” I whisper letting my head rest in his arms.
“I know that. That’s why we’re gettin’ you outta here.”
“It’s a lot, Marc. I can tell.”
“Shh. I got you, baby.”
“Her name. What’s her name?” Marc keeps walking as if he didn’t hear me. I know what he’s trying to do and I appreciate it, but I can feel myself slowly slipping. I’m losing too much blood.
“Summer. You like that?” he asks looking down at me with a smile on his face. I try to smile and nod my head. “Since she was born outside. Gotta have an outside type name, yeah?” I wish I could laugh. I wish I could enjoy this time with him.
“You’ll take care of her, won’t you?” I can feel his tears as they drip onto my face. Warm, wet tears.
“Not without you. I can’t do that. I’ve fought too hard to keep you. Don’t you think you can give up on me now.”
“I’m not.” At least I’m trying not to. I want to be around for her. I want to raise her. This isn’t how I pictured my life at all. But with everything in life, you can’t always see what the future holds.
Thirty
Shaft
I look at the mangled pieces of the baby furniture in the bedroom. Each one broken and busted in some way. I don’t think every man knows what it is to feel a loss. Not when it comes to a child. Regardless of if that baby of Riley’s was mine or not, I felt its loss and it fucking hurt. It’s a pain that couldn’t be described in words. It’s an ache that penetrates your heart and causes you to bleed out. March’s death, Greg’s death - they were too quick. There wasn’t enough pain. I should have drawn it out longer. I should have caused them more suffering but I didn’t. I’ll regret that ‘til the day I die.
“You want help cleanin’ this up?” Gauge asks stepping into the room. Wolf and Sly follow behind him.
“At first, I wanted to keep it all. I wanted to be reminded, but now I just want it gone, brother.” Sly nods and starts picking up broken pieces of furniture.
“You know we’re proud of you, Shaft.” I look up at Sly and see the truth in his eyes.
“Appreciate that. I need to get goin’.” Shoving myself off the floor, I head into the room across the hall and pick Summer up out of her crib. Snuggling her against my chest, I inhale her baby scent. It has to be the best smell I’ve ever smelled in my life. Next to her mom’s of course. With that thought, I shake my head and carry her out to the living room where Dez sits with her diaper bag.
“You sure you want to take her? I don’t mind keeping her.”
“No. I want her to be there with me. Thanks for stayin’ ‘til I get back though,” I tell her. She nods and smiles at me before standing and pressing a kiss to my cheek. She moves to Summer next.
“You are the best little niece in the world, you know that?”
I buckle Summer into her seat before grabbing her bag and throwing it over my shoulder and heading out the door. Once I have her situated in the backseat of the truck, I hop in and take off. The hospital isn’t far. I’m thankful for that. I wasn’t sure how I’d deal with everything if I wasn’t close to her.
My world slowly seemed to fall apart the day we got out of that house. Temple was in labor, she lost a lot of blood. That was more blood than even I’d seen come from one person. Summer was perfect, though. Not a thing wrong with her even though she was a month early; she was still almost nine pounds. My girl did it all without any medicine. I was so damn proud of her. I don’t know anyone as strong as Temple.
We get to the hospital and I climb out, grabbing Summer and all her things. I’d never realized just how much stuff you have to carry around with you when you have a baby. I knew they needed a shit ton but this is insane. We head up to the floor and find her room quickly. When I walk in, she doesn’t hear me.
“Goddamn,” I groan, closing the door behind me. Temple flips her head around looking over her shoulder at me.
“You are sick, do you know that?”
“You ass is sexy as fuck, did you know that?”
“Six weeks, Marc.”
“Shit. We’ll see about that,” I grumble as I walk toward her, setting the car seat on the bed.
Temple pulls her pants on and turns to look at our daughter. Temple lost a lot of blood. She’s been in the hospital for nearly three weeks now. On top of the blood loss she had some kind of infection. For a while I thought I lost her. It broke me. I’ve never felt that kind of pain in my life. My heart ached. My chest felt like it was caving in. Looking at Summer all the time and seeing Temple in her almost ripped my soul out.
“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” Temple asks. I move to stand next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her into my side.
“She is. I love you, Temple.”
“I love you too. Are you okay though?”
I sigh and hold her tighter. “I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot. There was nothin’ we could have done for her. I hate her for what she did to you. I hate that you had to go through any of that because of me.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Marc. It wasn’t. She did this all on her own. I’m just sorry that you got your hopes up about the baby,” she says softly.
“I got my baby. That other one, yeah it hurt but she wasn’t mine, darlin’. Doesn’t matter how much I wanted her.”
“She was in way though. You were excited to have her. You are going to be a great dad, Marc.”
“What do you mean goin’ to? Shit, I been feedin’ her, changin’ her, and all that shit for the last two weeks,” I tease her. Temple turns in my arms, kissing me.
“I know and I’m so glad that I have you.”
“Oh yeah? You gonna show me just how much?”
Temple slaps me in the chest before turning back to Summer. Leaning down, she reaches for her but stops short when she sees what’s hanging off her bib. Her hand comes to cover her mouth before she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
“Are you serious?” she beams up at me. I reach down and pull the ring from Summer’s bib and turn to Temple.
“From the first second I laid eyes on you in…well this hospital, I knew you were somethin’ special. You were gorgeous and held yourself in high regard. You didn’t let anyone give you any shit and to me that’s what made you perfect.”
“Thought it was my smart mouth?” she laughs.
“You gonna let me finish?” She smirks and nods her head.
“Okay, so, you were perfect, yeah? But when I saw you totaling that man’s car, I knew it
was you. I wouldn’t want anyone else, Temple. Marry me. I’m not askin’. I’m tellin’ you. You’re marryin’ me. I’m done losin’ everything good in my life. It’s time I take charge of what I want.” Her eyes sparkle as she looks up at me.
“I don’t think I like you bossing me around,” she says crossing her arms over her chest.
“I don’t think I give two shits. You’re mine. This baby is mine. We’re a family.”
The end.
Afterword
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