by Kat Mizera
“Because you would have said no. You would have said my first time should be with someone special. That I should wait until I’m in love. Or some other ridiculous, traditional thing that has no place in my life.”
“But why? You’re young and beautiful and could have anyone. Why would you want an ugly, old military man like me?”
“Ugly?” She lifted her head so she could look into my eyes. “You’re one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen. I think you’re strong and sexy and courageous. I’m sorry I misled you, and I understand if you’re angry with me, but this was one thing in my life I could do on my terms. Something my parents couldn’t guilt me into or out of, something that’s mine alone.”
“That’s not actually true,” I said softly.
9
Solange
I wasn’t sure what he meant so I waited as he trailed tender fingers on my cheek.
“What we just shared included me,” he continued. “You could have—should have—told me.”
“Are you mad at me?” I whispered, suddenly a little sad.
“No.” His arms tightened around me. “I’m just confused.”
“Tell me the truth—would you have had sex with me if you’d known I was a virgin?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “There’s been this chemistry between us since we met, and something happening between us was inevitable. I wasn’t expecting it to be your first time, but more than anything, I don’t want you to regret that it was with someone like me.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Like there’s something wrong with you?”
“Come on, baby. Look at me and look at you. I’m too old, too rough around the edges, for a sweet young thing like you.”
“I just let a guy I’ve known less than two days fuck me in an abandoned building,” I shot back. “I’m not that young or sweet.”
He brushed his fingers along my face. “Having kissed you repeatedly, I can assure you, you’re very sweet. And I suppose young is relative, but I’m inching up towards forty and you’re still in your twenties.”
“And by that comparison, I’m inching up towards thirty,” I countered. “You’re not old and I’m not young. My sexual experience is irrelevant.”
“Were you saving yourself for…something or someone?”
“No. I was saving myself for me, if that makes sense.” I couldn’t help but nestle against him, losing myself in him. Somehow, even being naked on the floor with a man I barely knew, I felt no shame, no embarrassment, in spite of what we’d just done. Nothing but contentment, and satisfaction, as if I’d just checked something off my bucket list. Except it had been so much more poignant than I’d been expecting.
“Was it what you thought it would be?” he asked, one of his big hands moving over my backside, caressing my skin as if it were made of silk.
“Better. Much, much better.”
“Didn’t it hurt?” he asked, his hands still stroking my skin, making me never want to leave his embrace.
“Not much. A little uncomfortable in the beginning, but then it was wonderful. Did you…like it?”
He kissed my forehead and smiled. “More than I can put into words. You’re beautiful, Solange, and making love with you was incredible. One of the most memorable evenings I’ve had since moving here.”
“Have you not had…girlfriends…since you’ve been here?”
He shook his head. “To be honest, I don’t have time, and most women find me intimidating. The muscles, the beard, the scars… It all seems to overwhelm them.”
“Not me.” I shifted, lifting up enough to look down at him. I ran my hands over his wide chest, fingering the hair curling against his skin, memorizing every inch of him because I didn’t know if I’d ever be this close to him again. “You don’t intimidate me at all.”
“I see that.” He looked genuinely confused. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend or husband? Beautiful girl like you? They must be beating down the door for you, no?”
“There are few prospects here in Vinake, and none that interest me. My parents need me too much to force the issue, so here I am, an unmarried twenty-four-year-old virgin.”
“Not anymore, sweetheart.”
I chuckled. “No, I suppose not.”
“We should get going,” he said after a moment. “It’s late and we both need to get a little sleep.”
“I guess.” I slowly got to my feet and looked around for my clothes, scooping up my panties and bra. I tugged them on with my back to Axel and jumped when he slid his arms around me from behind.
“Now you’re shy?” he asked, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I’ve already seen it all, baby.”
“I know.” I turned, meeting his eyes. “I guess I’m not sure how this works.”
“What? Getting dressed after sex? Just like this.” He leaned over and picked up my shirt. He smoothed it out and gently tugged it over my head. Then he grabbed my jeans and handed them to me, moving my shoes closer so I could slip them on once I was dressed.
He’d already put his clothes back on, though his shirt was untucked now and his light brown hair was no longer slicked back, so it stuck up a little. He seemed younger standing there looking a little rumpled and a lot more relaxed. Though he didn’t have what I would call wrinkles, he had lines on his face that made me think he’d had a rough life. Or he’d seen a lot of terrible things. I knew almost nothing about him, but my gut told me he was so tough on the outside because he protected something vulnerable on the inside. And I really wanted to know what that was.
He took my hand as we walked back out to the street and he slid the old rusted door back into place.
“Tomorrow, we’ll go back to the café and see if anything is salvageable,” he said. “I think the downstairs got the worst of it. Upstairs probably has a lot of smoke damage, but there might be some things you can save.”
“I don’t have anything other than the clothes on my back,” I said sadly. “I don’t even have clean underwear.”
“Is there a store here in Vinake?”
“The general store has basics we can get, but the quality is poor. I have to go to Ferdinbrag to find anything comfortable.”
“Let me see what my schedule is tomorrow and I can take you.”
“You don’t have to,” I said.
“It’s partly my fault you’re in this mess,” he said, grinning down at me. “It’s the least I can do.”
“It wasn’t really, but I’ll be gracious.”
He let go of my hand when we got to the hospital, and as soon as we got to Kostya’s floor, Xander got up out of a chair and approached us.
“Dude, you haven’t been answering your phone.” Xander gave Axel a dirty look.
“Sorry about that.” Axel had a bland look on his face. “Solange was showing me around the city and I guess I didn’t hear it down by the river.”
Xander frowned a little and looked like he was going to say something, but I was suddenly exhausted.
“I’m going to get some sleep,” I said quietly. “Thanks for everything tonight. Let me know what the plan is for tomorrow.”
“I’m going to sleep here at the hospital,” he told me. “I’ll be right here in the hallway and once you’re awake, we can figure out the plan.”
“Good night then.” I turned and walked into Kostya’s room. I hadn’t even realized there were rooms this nice at our hospital, but I figured they were reserved for the wealthy. There were two beds and a private bathroom, so I went in that direction, anxious to get cleaned up. I was desperate for a shower and stripped down, stepping under the warm spray.
I closed my eyes and thought back to what had happened with Axel. I’d been raised to believe young women didn’t have sex until marriage, but all the young people here in Vinake and the surrounding areas had sex constantly. Anal sex was popular because you didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, and while I hadn’t participated myself, my friends all talked. Nicola and Felix had a wild sex life once, and sh
e’d given me every detail.
Oddly enough, the older I’d gotten, the less interested I’d become in partaking. The drinking and partying that went on was a distraction from the misery of our lives. We all saved up for the long winters—alcohol, snacks, cigarettes, condoms—and the parties moved from house to house. Sometimes we’d gather at the old community center, but I’d eventually stopped going. The last two years, since Nicola had left, I’d probably only gone out with our old gang of friends three or four times. Mostly, I stayed home and taught myself computer programming.
If Kostya was out, I’d have the family laptop to myself and could watch movies or listen to music too. Sometimes I’d read, but we didn’t have a library in Vinake and it had been difficult to get internet access before King Erik had taken the throne from his evil cousin, King Anwar. We’d lived on bootleg movies and CDs, cigarettes and sex. I’d passed on the sex because after a while I’d come to hate all of them. Maybe not literally, because this hell we lived in Vinake wasn’t their fault, but I’d needed someone to blame and my friends were all easiest.
A little more than twenty-four hours ago, I’d been sure I was about to lose everything, maybe even my life. Instead, a tall, dark-eyed man with a big bushy beard and muscles on his muscles had walked in, saving my family, me, and our business. And I’d sensed, the moment I saw him, that if given a chance, I would sleep with him. I’d long since abandoned any sense of modesty and it had nothing to do with morality. I’d simply decided my virginity, and the man I gave that to, was one thing I had control over. I refused to give it up until it was under my terms, and Axel checked off every criterion I’d subconsciously put on my mental list.
Handsome.
Strong.
Mysterious.
Not from Vinake.
I got out and dried off, wrapping myself in a fluffy white towel. I put my hair in a ponytail and brushed my teeth with my finger, using a travel-size tube of toothpaste I found on the counter. I washed my panties in the sink, leaving them to dry on the shower door. I could sleep in a hospital gown and by morning my panties would be dry. For some reason, that made me feel better, even if I’d be putting on the same unwashed clothes in the morning.
I found a hospital gown on the bathroom shelf, along with a pair of socks, and I slipped them on to walk around.
“Hey.” Kostya’s voice startled me and I looked up.
“Hi. How are you feeling?”
“Not too bad. Mama called, told me everything. You’re all right?”
“Aside from the fact that we’ve just lost everything? That our home, our business and everything we own is gone? I’m good.” I sat on the chair beside his bed.
“We’ll figure something out,” he said softly. “I can get work in Ferdinbrag and Mama can probably help Mrs. Freela at the bakery. Once I’m settled in Ferdinbrag, maybe I can find you a job as a nanny or—”
“Stop.” I held up a hand. “I’m not going to be a damn nanny. If anything, I’ll go to Hiskale and get a regular job. Prince Sandor has promised to help and I’ll ask him for a loan so I can get a room somewhere until I’m settled. I’m not staying here, Kostya.”
“You know Mama will have a heart attack if you say you’re moving to the big city on your own.”
“I’m not a child,” I said. “And I’m tired of this life.”
“One of us has to help Mama and Papa, and if you leave, that means me.” His eyes met mine.
“If we go to Hiskale together, and get jobs, we can send for them. I looked online and they’re desperate for help in the city. Teachers, police, even the military. You wanted to join before and this would be the perfect time.” Military service was mandatory for men in Limaj, though deferments for those who went to college or had to help with family businesses were common in the northern part of the country.
“Now?” He motioned to his bruised and bandaged body.
“In six months, you’ll be good as new, and you’ll have the winter to get back into shape. By next summer, you’ll be ready to join.”
“That means you take care of Mama and Papa.”
“Or, you know, they can take care of themselves.” I leaned back, folding my arms over my chest. “They run the café with no issues. They’re not old, Kostya. They’re in their late forties and perfectly healthy. Yes, they needed help running the café but that’s simply because it was too much for two people. If we can rebuild, start over somewhere else, they’ll be fine.”
“Mama won’t like it,” he said slowly.
“I know.” I blew out a breath. “But I can’t continue to live under their thumb. I love them but I deserve to have a life too.”
He held out his hand to me. “I’ve been working on a plan for a while now, so we’ll figure something out. I promise. Get some sleep.”
“I will.” I squeezed his hand and then got into the other bed, pulling up the light blanket. My body was tired but my brain was on overload, thinking about how much had happened in the last couple of days. And of course, Axel. I was already resigned to losing him in another day or two, but I was hoping beyond hope I’d have a chance to make love with him in a proper bed just once, the way I’d always fantasized about. He’d given me a taste of what it was like between a man and a woman, and I desperately wanted more. Once would never be enough of that man, no matter what I told myself. The question, of course, was whether or not he felt the same.
10
Axel
I didn’t sleep much that night, both uncomfortable on the small waiting room sofa and distracted by thoughts of Solange. I had zero regrets about what we’d done if she didn’t have any, but the thought of leaving her now that we’d made love made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t the romantic type, but this thing with Solange had me a little twisted on the inside. I liked and enjoyed women, but it had been a decade since I’d been in a relationship, and she was too young for me. She also lived hours from where I lived in Hiskale, and even if she’d lived close by, I worked crazy hours.
With Sandor and Lennox’s wedding coming up in a few days, it was all hands on deck and I was going to have to leave. Probably today. And I didn’t know what to do about it because I’d never even considered putting a woman before my duty, but I was sorely tempted to this time.
“Hey.” I picked up my phone when Sandor’s name flashed on the screen.
“Good morning. Erik and I have come up with a plan for Solange and her family so we can make sure they’re taken care of while we’re busy with the wedding, and then once Lennox and I are off on our honeymoon, they can meet with Erik and he’ll have some options for them.”
“What’s the plan?”
“Erik is going to send Solange and her parents to a resort in Greece for a week. They can bask in the sun, all expenses paid, along with spending money, as a kind of apology for what happened to the café after we got the Brat all fired up. By the time they get back, the wedding will be over and Erik will have had time to figure out what to do about that whole thing. Vinake is a shithole and he’d like to raze the whole town and start over.”
“I’m pretty sure the three thousand people who live here will have something to say about that.”
“That’s why he needs a week to come up with a plan.”
“All right. What about Kostya?”
“He’s stable enough to be moved, so we’ve arranged for the helicopter to bring all of them here to Hiskale, directly to the hospital. We’ll get him settled and Solange and her parents will stay at the palace tonight. Tomorrow, they leave for Greece.”
“You realize they literally have nothing but the clothes on their backs?”
“You can take them shopping as soon as you get to Hiskale. The helicopter will be there at ten to pick you all up.”
“Have you talked to Solange’s parents at all?”
“Yes. I spoke to them an hour ago. They should be back at the hospital any time now.”
“And the men Xander’s holding at the compound?”
“We’ll d
ebrief when you get back. See you later.”
I disconnected just as Solange came out of Kostya’s room.
Damn, just looking into those blue eyes made me smile. The memory of her sliding down onto my cock last night made me hard all over again and I tried to focus on anything but my growing erection.
“Good morning,” I told her.
“Good morning.” She smiled at me. “My mother said we’re taking a helicopter to Hiskale.”
“Yup. Looks like you’re going on vacation.”
“What?” She frowned.
I paused. “You’re going to a resort in Greece with your parents.”
“Why on earth would we be going on holiday in the middle of all this?”
“What better time to go? There’s no café to work in, nothing to do but relax. A week on the beach sounds like the perfect place for all of you.”
“After everything I told you last night, do you honestly believe I have any interest in spending a week on a beach with my parents?”
Uh-oh. She didn’t look happy at all.
“It wasn’t my idea,” I said quietly.
“I know, but it’s no less frustrating.” She muttered something I didn’t quite catch in Limaji and then turned away.
“Solange.” I reached for her hand. “Why not make the best of it? It’s summertime in Greece. It’s fantastic. The sea is unbelievable. The beaches are incredible. The food, the history… You’re going to love it.”
“If you say so.” She started to pull away but I tightened my grip.
“Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” She pulled away just as her parents came around the corner.
“Good morning!” Nadia smiled at both of us.
“Good morning.” Samuel waved and promptly disappeared into Kostya’s room.
“You didn’t say anything about going to Greece,” Solange told her mother in English.
Nadia sighed. “You don’t want to go.”
“No, Mama. I want to figure out where we’re going to live, how we’re going to eat… I’m not interested in going on holiday.”