by Lily Light
“Of course. We’re married and married people don’t hide anything from our spouses.”
“I still believe this relationship isn’t real.”
“I can hear a ‘but’ in there,” I said.
Our friends and even Ryan’s parents bought our story. Parker and Dave certainly did, because that couple liked all of our social media posts.
There was no point in trying to convince my best friend. He was the only one Ryan and I couldn’t fool.
“As much as I hate to admit it, I think you guys are good for each other,” he finally admitted.
“Yeah, you think so?”
“Ryan’s different lately. Before Vegas, he’d been in this funk. I knew he wasn’t over Parker, not really. Part of me was worried he went to Vegas just to see if he could win Parker back.”
Envy rammed in my gut at the mention of Parker’s name. I always wondered if Ryan still had feelings for his ex.
That couldn’t be true, because Ryan seldom mentioned Parker during our conversations. Still, those two did have history.
He was doing this fake married thing to get back at Parker and Dave. On some level, I knew that but what started out as a prank could evolve to something more.
I truly believed that.
This was new for me, too. I’ve never been serious about a guy before. Relationships always felt like too much work for me and yet here I was, putting in the effort to make this fake marriage a little real.
“So I’ve decided to stop fighting you guys over this,” he paused. “But remember—”
“If I end up hurting him, I’ll back away.” I promised.
Jordan looked relieved by those words. “Now tell me. What’s up with you. Found a job yet?”
“Soon, hopefully,” I said with a grimace. Then I told my best friend about all the interviews I’ve fucked up.
We drove back to the shop. Jordan patted my arm in sympathy.
“I’m not worried. You’ll find a company that’s a good fit for you.”
“I hope you’re right, bud.”
I got home five minutes past midnight. I closed the door behind me. To my surprise, Ryan was still up, still staring at his laptop.
“Working late?” I asked him, stopping by the kitchen.
“A client wanted some last-minute changes,” he said.
Ryan looked like he hadn’t taken a shower all day. There were dark shadows under his eyes.
“Can I make you anything?” I offered.
“Coffee.”
I brewed a pot and handed him a cup. Ryan took a sip.
“I’ll leave you to it,” I told him.
“No, wait. I’m just about done. I want to know how things went with you and my brother.”
I chuckled. “You make it sound like we went on a date. Ew, by the way.”
A small smiled curved on his lips. A mini victory for me. I knew Ryan had been stressed out about work lately. He’d been complaining about a particularly prickly client who kept asking for little changes.
“There, email sent.” Ryan closed the lid of his laptop. He eyed the brown paper bag I left on the counter. “Is that food?”
“Burger and fries. It was supposed to be my midnight snack, but you can have it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve already had pizza and beer earlier.”
I pulled out a stool and joined him. As he ate, I told him about Jordan’s car and our conversation.
“I bet he worked hard on that car just so he could give you a reason to come over. He really missed having you around, huh?” Ryan asked.
It pleased me he was taking my side.
“He did. We both agreed dragging out this fight was stupid.”
“Sure was,” Ryan grumbled. “You guys not talking made me stress eat a lot. Look at my belly. I think I’ve gained 5 pounds or something.”
Taking that as an invitation to look, I dragged my gaze up and down his lean body. I licked my lips.
“You’re fine the way you are. Perfect.” I remarked.
Ryan stared at me for a few seconds, then gobbled up the rest of his fries. “Don’t say embarrassing things like that.”
He was about to toss his trash into the bin but I blocked his path, cornering him against the counter.
“I’m only telling the truth. Besides, I’m your husband. I can say whatever I please.”
“Can you now?” He dragged a finger down my chest, making me groan.
It took all of my self-control not to bend him over the counter and fuck his brains out. Living with Ryan was all good save for one thing, my building sexual frustration.
I bet he felt the same way. The ‘no sex’ rule was stupid in my opinion when we clearly still had the hots for each other. His breathing turned harsh when I cupped his cheek and kissed him.
It was supposed to be a quick one, but he leaned in and returned it with equal passion. I had to forcibly drag myself away because if I didn’t, I’d lose my damn mind.
That was Ryan’s superpower. He was able to reduce me to this ferocious animal that only wanted to take and keep on taking.
I knew I could make it good for him. I’d have him screaming out my name in seconds but I did the decent thing and backed away.
“Good night, babe. Sweet dreams,” I told him as I left him standing there.
I silently cursed myself once I was inside my room. I leaned against the door. I closed my eyes and wondered how long I’d be able to hold onto my sanity.
9
Ryan
The smell of frying bacon woke me up. I groaned, too lazy to get up. Why did my entire body feel so heavy?
Then I remembered. I worked late into the night yesterday, making fixes to my client’s files. I was pretty sure if I checked my email, I’d have plenty more waiting for me.
I was just tempted to roll in bed all day. There was a knock on my door. I buried my head under my pillow.
“Breakfast is served.” Noah announced.
At the sound of his voice, I pushed the pillow aside and sat up in bed. He placed a tray over my lap. I stared at the plate of scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, and ham.
My mouth watered. I ate a gigantic burger and fries last night but for some reason, I was still hungry.
“I thought you didn’t know how to cook?” I asked.
I took a few bites, moaned, then resumed eating. This was such a sweet gesture. I never expected Noah to serve me breakfast in bed.
“Jordan told me to watch this cooking guy on YouTube,” he said. “So it’s decent?”
Noah sat on the edge of my bed.
“It’s delicious. Thank you.”
“I want to taste.”
I scooped some eggs and placed it on my remaining slice of toast. I added half a strip of bacon to it, then offered it to Noah. He didn’t take it by hand, he leaned in and took a a few bites. I had to feed it to him.
“You’re ridiculous,” I told him.
Why was my heart beating frantically? I noticed he wasn’t in his usual shirt and boxers.
Noah was wearing a suit and tie and he looked damn good in it. Sleek and powerful.
I pictured him pushing me down my bed. I was only wearing boxers. It would be easy for him to strip them off me, to position me on my hands and knees, and—I cut that filthy line of thought away.
Here he was, being so thoughtful and all I could think about was having sex with him.
“You have another interview lined up?” I asked.
He nodded. Noah sighed. He looked down. “It’ll probably go the same way.”
I placed the tray to one side. I noticed my plate was swiped clean. Not a crumb was left.
“Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll do just fine.” I wrapped my arms around him, feeling awkward.
It wasn’t the easiest thing to do, given his size. He leaned into my hug, making me feel less of an idiot.
“Thanks, I think I needed that,” he said, parting from me. “I feel so much better now.”
“I
f you need hugs, I’m happy to provide them,” I told him. “Ace that interview, husband.”
Noah flashed me a grin. Before he left, he stole another kiss from my mouth. I was expecting it this time around. I furiously kissed him back and wondered what the hell I was doing. This wasn’t sex, so it was fine. Right?
We weren’t breaking any stupid rules. I parted my lips and he thrust his tongue down my throat. The room fell away from my line of sight. I clutched his broad shoulders, tempted to rub myself against him.
My cock strained against my boxers. It was begging for release. He squeezed my arm, then abruptly stood up. He was a champ for restraining himself, although I could see the tent in his pants as well.
“See you tonight? Maybe we can attempt to cook something complicated. I’m a bonafide chef now.” Noah declared.
I laughed. “Easy there, tiger. Sure, we can cook together. Let’s try something easy first, okay?”
“Looking forward to it.” Noah blew me a kiss, before leaving my room.
Long after he left, I touched my lips, which were still swollen from our early kiss. This was bad.
I was falling for him hard and fast. Only a month had passed since we were pretend married. I washed my plate and dialled Ian’s number afterwards.
“It’s early. Why are you calling me so early?” Ian sounded annoyed.
I checked the time. It was close to ten. Ian was a freelancer who worked from home like me, except he was an app developer. Also unlike me, he kept odd working hours while I preferred to work in the mornings and afternoons.
“We kissed. Again,” I admitted.
“Noah?”
“Who else?” I demanded. “I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to wake up, but he strolled in. He made breakfast for me, Ian. Can you believe that?”
“I thought he didn’t even know how to use the microwave?”
“He said he watched a YouTube video.”
“Let me guess. One breakfast and you were all over him? Did you guys finally do it?” Now Ian sounded wide-awake.
“We already did it once. In Vegas.” I reminded him. “We can’t.”
“Why? Because you’re afraid of getting hurt again?”
“I’m not.” My protest sounded weak to my ears. “I can so do the whole casual sex thing.”
“Ryan, you can’t do casual. Look at your dating history.”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
“Can’t you control yourself around him?” Ian asked.
“No. It’s hard.” God, I sounded like a whiny brat but this was Ian. We didn’t hide any secrets from each other. “It doesn’t help he’s insanely hot and when he looks at me—”
“Yeah?”
Ian sounded way too eager to hear this. Then again, I couldn’t blame him. We didn’t keep any secrets from each other.
“It’s like I’m the only guy he can see,” I murmured.
“Oh no, you have it bad for him, don’t you?”
“I do.” I sighed. “I need to ponder on our arrangement a little more. Maybe keeping my distance is the right thing to do.”
“Uh-huh or maybe you guys can just do it. Get it over with, you know?”
“How will that help?” I asked.
“Just get it out of your system and you’ll be right as rain.”
Yeah right, I thought. Sex with Noah could be addictive. Insanely good. I had a feeling I'd never be able to get him out of my system.
Tangling with him was setting myself up for future disappointment. Part of me just wanted to fly off the cliff and not care if I ended up falling face-first into the ground.
"We'll just see how it goes," I said.
"Sounds like you've already made up your mind. I'm heading back to bed," he said.
"Okay."
Without Noah in the house, I was able to do some work. He was a distraction, I had to admit, but a good distraction.
I rubbed my eyes after sending another group of files to my client. I yawned and stretched and saw it was already two in the afternoon. No wonder my stomach was rumbling.
Seeing as there was nothing edible in the fridge, I decided to head to my favorite sandwich place for a bite. My phone pinged and I saw it was another message from Noah.
Noah: Passed the first round of interviews. Second one later this afternoon.
Ryan: Looks like you have this in the bag. Good luck!
I smiled and tucked my phone away. I got my sandwich and was walking back to the apartment when I heard someone call my name.
A familiar voice.
"Hey, Ryan. Wait up." Seeing Parker jogging towards me, my heart sank.
I could turn around and pretend I didn't see him but I knew Parker could be annoyingly persistent if he wanted to be. Besides, I didn't want to skulk away like some coward.
"Parker, I didn't expect to run into you," I said.
I pretended to act cool, indifferent. I shoved my hands into the pocket of my jeans.
I thought my heart would start hammering if I caught sight of him again but it wasn't. It beat calm and steady.
Regret and anger. Those were the two emotions I always felt when I was around him. Now I felt utterly nothing towards Parker. I knew it was all thanks to Noah.
If I wasn't fake married to my brother's insanely hot best friend, I probably would still be mooning over Parker.
"Glad I managed to catch you," he said, looking slightly out of breath.
I studied my ex. He had a couple of days worth of stubble. He also looked like he gained a couple of pounds. There were also dark shadows under his eyes.
"How's married life treating you?" I asked by way of conversation.
"Not good." His blunt admittance shocked me slightly. "Listen, can we grab a coffee and chat a little?"
What? Why would he want to have coffee with me?
"Listen, Parker. I'd love to but I'm kind of busy."
"You're a freelancer. Can't you tweak your schedule a little bit?"
This right here was one of the reasons we weren't right for each other. Back at home, Noah respected my space.
He knew I needed to work so he gave me the privacy I needed but Parker? He seemed to think I could work whenever I wanted. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he thought I didn't have a real job.
"Ryan, please? I need a friend to talk to." He pleaded just when I was about to blow him off.
I knew agreeing to this was a bad thing but Parker knew how to pull my strings. I might be tough and cynical at times but I was loyal to my friends.
Could I even call him a friend? Relationships were about giving and taking. Parker only knew how to take. I let out a heavy sigh.
"I guess I could spare a few minutes," I said with some reluctance.
Parker brightened immediately.
"Great. Let's head to our favorite cafe."
Gaston's Tea House was a pretentious and overpriced establishment. It was his favorite place to drink coffee, not mine but I didn't remind him of that.
The last thing I wanted to do was start a fire. I told myself I'd listen to him rant a little, then be on my way. I debated texting Noah but decided he might be too preoccupied. He had his second interview to think about. I'd tell him about my meeting with Parker later.
We ordered overpriced lattes and found a seat by the window. Parker immediately launched into a monologue about why it was a bad idea marrying Dave after all.
I wondered why I wasn't that shocked he was practically trash-talking his husband. Maybe it was because I've always known Parker was a grade-A prick.
I once overheard him talking shit about me to his colleagues at the investment firm he worked at. Back then, I was supposed to be the love of his life.
"Uh-huh," I murmured absentmindedly.
"Dave's a pig." He finally finished. "How about you? I just saw your latest post on Instagram. You and Noah seemed really happy?"
He definitely phrased that last sentence like a question. Was he trying to fish for answers? Not like I'd tell hi
m anything truthful.
"Yeah, it's amazing being married to Noah. He made me breakfast in bed this morning."
"Wait. We're talking about the same Noah Collins here? Dave said he's not a relationship kind of guy."
I shrugged. "I guess he changed. He's with me now and so far, it's been an awesome ride."
"Yeah, you look really happy, not just in the photos but also right now. I'm a little envious. We shouldn't have broken up..." He trailed off. "Do you ever regret--"
"No," I said firmly. "Parker, believe me. The two of us didn't work out for a reason. You want some advice from one married man to another?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Don't give up on Dave. Try to work out what's going wrong with your marriage."
What kind of guy complained to his ex about his failing marriage anyway? Dave and Parker had only been married a month.
"You're right. Dave recommended we try couples' therapy but I was opposed to the idea."
"You've got to keep an open mind," I told him. I made a show of checking my watch. "Listen, I got to go. I promised Noah I'll be in charge of dinner tonight."
"Oh, right. Sorry, I probably talked your ear off. Thanks for listening to my problems, Ryan. I really needed a friend."
"Sure, no problem."
I rose from the table. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. I had wanted to leave earlier. Parker ended up monopolizing two hours of my time. I hurried back home. I checked my phone. No new text from Noah.
Maybe he was still in his interview. Only when I locked the front door behind me did I begin to hyperventilate.
10
Noah
Ryan: I’m too tired to cook. Can you buy us dinner?
I immediately knew something was wrong when Ryan texted me. I stopped by his favorite Chinese take-out place on my way home.
When I returned to the apartment, Ryan was slumped on the sofa, a blanket around his shoulders. He looked up when I set down the food on the coffee table.
“Hey,” he said, breaking out into a smile. “You’re home.”
Warmth suffused me at those words.
“I am. Give me a minute to change. I’ll be back.”