by V. Sousa
It was when I flushed the toilet that I noticed Emmett was holding my hair up, and I couldn’t help but comment with a laugh, “It’s soon to be in sickness and in health, so you’ve passed part one. Congratulations.”
He ignored my statement and lifted me to my feet. “You done? You need to lie down.”
“Can you pass me the toothpaste and mouthwash first?” I reached out, and he placed the toothpaste in my hand and poured me a cup of mouth wash.
I put some toothpaste on my finger and did the best I could to clean my mouth, then I gargled the mouthwash and spat it into the sink. I wished I had my toothbrush, but it must have been in the room with Lorenzo and Claire, and I wasn’t about to go back in there, so mouthwash and a finger brush would have to do.
I threw on some pajamas I found in one of the draws and slowly got into bed and did something I knew I was going to regret in the morning, but I was drunk, so right now, I was okay with it.
“Emmett, can you lay with me? Just for a little bit. Everything’s spinning, and I won’t fall asleep on my own,” I asked, turning toward him.
He searched my face to make sure I wasn’t joking. After a few seconds, he nodded and turned off the light.
I heard him taking his clothes off, and I tried to peek at him, but it was too dark. Why couldn’t he have taken them off before he’d turned off the light? I’d been robbed of a good view.
He pulled the blankets up and slid into bed with me.
I replayed everything that had happened since I got to Claire’s, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Although it was small, I’d seen a piece of the old Emmett tonight.
Maybe it was because I was drunk and seeing things differently, or maybe he just thought it was okay for his mask to slip a little because he figured I wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but either way, he wasn’t as detached as he usually was.
If only it could always be this way, then maybe I could learn to forgive him. I wouldn’t hold my breath, though. Tides changed, and Emmett came in waves.
I would never admit this to him—I hated even admitting it to myself—but having him next to me made me feel calm.
It wasn’t long before my eyelids started getting heavy, and I was out like a light.
Nine
Rose
I was not so gracefully woken up by Claire’s loud mouth flying into the room, yelling, “Good morning, sunshine, how are you feeling?”
“Well, if I didn’t already have a pounding headache, I would absolutely have one now.” I rolled over and groaned.
She dove on top of me and slapped my ass. “Cry me a river. Get up and get downstairs. There’s breakfast.”
I was about to tell her that food was the last thing on my mind right now, but she was hopping off, skipping out of the door, and slamming it shut before I could even get my mouth open.
I wondered what had her in such a good mood when what I saw last night came back to me.
I looked over to see if Emmett was still there and noticed the side of the bed was perfectly made as if no one had ever been there. If it weren’t for the fact I could still smell him, I would’ve thought it was all a dream.
I couldn’t believe I asked him to sleep next to me and that I told him I hadn’t had sex with anyone else.
Note to self: Do not drink excessively in the presence of one Emmett Rossi.
I rolled out of bed and started making my way downstairs. I didn’t even bother changing. I just wanted to go home and regret every decision I’d made in the past twelve hours.
When I got to the kitchen, I spotted Lorenzo sitting at the breakfast bar. He looked up with a smile, and I gave him a dirty look.
Not only had he been giving Emmett updates on every single thing I’d been doing, but he also fucked my best friend.
I wasn’t the type of person to get involved in other people’s relationships, but Claire was my best friend, and no offense to Lorenzo, but he has slept with a lot of girls, and I didn’t want to see my friend hurt.
I walked up to Claire, who was making pancakes and singing, and gave her a quick hug.
“I would love to stay for breakfast, but I feel like I ran full force into a brick wall, so I really need to go home, take a nap, and pop like three painkillers.”
She nodded, and I gave her another hug before heading outside toward the car.
I waited until Lorenzo and I were parked at the house to unleash my anger so that I could look him in the eyes as I was flipping out. He had the car in park for point two seconds before I let the words free.
“You’re skating on thin ice, Lorenzo Moretti.” I snarled
He gave me a confused look and said, “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I’ll tell you what I’m talking about all right. Are you loyal to Emmett or me? You’ve been with me for six years, and you didn’t think to let me know that Emmett was keeping tabs on me? How long has this been going on? And don’t even think about lying.”
He was looking down, so I couldn’t see his facial expression. If I didn’t have excellent hearing, I wouldn’t have caught him say, “Since you guys broke up.”
I couldn’t help the obnoxious “Ha” that flew out of my mouth. “And you agreed to that? You’re one of the people who saw me at my worst after what he did, and you still gave him the satisfaction of knowing my every move? I guess all I’ve ever been is a job to you. I thought we were actually friends, but friends don’t betray each other like that.”
I took a deep breath before I continued. “Not only did you do that, but you also slept with Claire. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time, either. I’m also sure she doesn’t know about the girls last week or the week before that or the two you had in your bed that one night. Do you see where I’m going with this, Lorenzo? Either man up and be with just her or don’t be with her at all.”
I opened the car door, slammed it shut, and walked to the house.
I couldn’t look at him or let him respond because if he gave me his sad “I’m sorry” face, I was going to break and forgive him. I wanted him to sulk for at least day or two first.
He deserved worse, but Lorenzo had been with me through the hardest times in my life, and even though it was his job to stay with me, he always tried to cheer me up when I was sad and get my mind off things. He didn’t have to do that, but I knew he wanted to.
The last thing I wanted was to lose someone else I was close to, but it still hurt that he’d kept me in the dark when he knew every little thing that had happened to me.
I walked up to my room, locked the door, and shut all the curtains. I considered writing a Do Not Disturb sign and taping it on the door, but my head was pounding, and I just wanted to go to sleep.
Thankfully, I was still in the pajamas I had found at Claire’s, so I grabbed some painkillers, hopped into bed, and got comfy.
Ten
Rose
I’d never thought that picking out my wedding dress would feel so depressing.
My mom looked like she was in pain, Claire looked disgusted, and Lorenzo looked uncomfortable.
At this point, I felt like I should just pick something so I could put everyone out of their misery, and we could all leave.
So far, I’d tried on a total of sixteen dresses, and none of them looked good on me.
I would have loved to try a mermaid-style dress, but the lady who worked here was pushing a ball gown.
I might just have to settle for something because the wedding was in a few months, and today was deadline day.
After showing everyone dress number seventeen, I was about to call it quits when I spotted a beautiful lace strapless mermaid dress on a mannequin. I walked up to it to get a better look and turned to the consultant. “Can I try this one on?”
She reluctantly nodded and started pulling it off the mannequin.
A few minutes later, she helped me out of the dress I had on, and I practically jumped into the new one.
Once I had it on, she clipped the b
ack, and I looked in the mirror.
This was the one.
Everything about it was so beautiful, and I loved how it fitted my body.
Such a shame that the wedding was a lie.
I asked the consultant to get my mom so I could show her privately since she didn’t talk much when other people were around.
I was still looking at myself in the mirror when Mom walked in, so I could see her eyes light up through the reflection. A single tear ran down her face, and I was stunned.
I’d never seen my mother cry in all my life. Sure, I’d heard her cry a few times through a doorway, but I’d never seen the tears, so I didn’t know how I should react to this.
I grabbed a tissue from the table beside me and handed it to her cautiously.
“Mom?”
She took the tissue and dabbed her eyes. “You look so beautiful, Rose. I’m just so glad I get to be here to see you walk down the aisle. I know you don’t want to marry him, and you feel like you have no choice, but your brother would be so happy to see you two together. He always said that if he had to pick someone for you, it would be Emmett.”
Oh, now I understood the tears. She wished Sammy could be here. She’d been a shell since he’d been gone. So, hopefully, this was a step in the right direction to getting her back to how she used to be—or at least a sliver of how she used to be.
I stepped off the podium and gave her a hug. “I miss Sammy, too,” I whispered.
She squeezed me and cried even harder.
After a few minutes, she pulled away and dabbed her eyes before looking up at me with a smile. “Okay, let’s go show Claire.”
I nodded and grabbed one last tissue for both of us before we made our way out.
Lorenzo spotted me first, and I heard a soft “Wow” come from him, which caused Claire to look up, and her jaw dropped.
“Damn, girl, you’re looking like a ten. That dress is beautiful,” Claire said with a wink.
I winked back and turned to the saleswoman. “I’ll take this one.”
Eleven
Rose
The next couple of months went by uneventfully. I didn’t see Emmett, and nobody talked about the upcoming wedding. I assumed it was out of fear that I might go crazy, but I told myself there was no sense in getting angry over something that was going to happen regardless of how I felt.
We only had two weeks until the wedding, and today was the third anniversary of Sammy’s death. It was also my twenty-first birthday, but I refused to celebrate without Sammy, not that anybody objected anyway.
I’d always been told that it got easier with time, but as the years went on, I still felt so empty.
I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, and I had to force myself out of bed to start the day.
When I was younger, I used to look forward to my birthday every year, but now, I dreaded it.
I was dressed and walking down the hall when I heard Mom in her room, crying again. In the beginning, I never used to hear her cry, but I think it was getting to be too much for her as time passed. I wanted to comfort her, but the last time I’d tried, she wouldn’t open the door, and it made me sadder than I was before I’d knocked.
Dad’s office was a little farther down the hall, and I had already smelled the alcohol the second I’d opened my bedroom door. He’d been drinking a lot more lately, and I hoped it didn’t get out of control.
I knew Mom blamed him for Sammy’s death, and in a way, I did too, but I knew nobody blamed him more than he did himself. He got shot that night, too, only his wasn’t fatal.
I hated how fucked up everything was. We went from a perfectly happy family to this with the snap of a finger.
I wouldn’t have wished this life on my worst enemy.
I got two of Sammy’s favorite cupcakes from the bakery down the street like I’d done every year, only this year, I had Lorenzo’s help because last year, I’d dropped one of the cupcakes when I was trying to light it, and I had a full-blown panic attack.
I sat down at Sammy’s grave and took one of the cupcakes and the plate from Lorenzo. He lit both of them, gave me a nod, and went back to the car, giving me some privacy.
“Happy birthday, Sammy. We are twenty-one today, can you believe it? We can legally drink now! Not that it matters. We were going to parties and getting wasted since we were fifteen.” I chuckled lightly.
I started silently singing happy birthday, and when I finished, I blew out the candles and started eating my cupcake. I stopped halfway and put it back down on the plate.
I held it together as much as I could, but with each year passing, I felt like it was getting harder, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“I really fucking miss you, Sammy. Everything’s a mess. I can’t tell you the last time I heard Mom’s laugh, Dad’s drinking himself to death, and I’m so damn lonely. It’s so hard to keep going when the only thing I want to do is give up. You always told me everyone has a purpose, and I’ve tried, but I just can’t find mine.” Pushing everything aside, I lay down on the grass. “I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m just so sad, Sammy.”
I lay there until the sun started to set, and then I remembered that Lorenzo was with me and was probably starving, so I should get going.
Sitting up, I kissed my fingers and touched them to the headstone. “I’ve got to go, Sammy. Until next time. I love you.”
Twelve
Emmett
Pulling up to the Romano house, I rechecked the text I got from John this morning to make sure I had the time right.
John Romano: My office. 7 p.m.
It was the day before the wedding, so I was a little nervous about this meeting. I hoped he hadn’t changed his mind—the last thing I needed was for John to break our agreement.
I got out of my car and knocked on the front door. A guard answered and silently ushered me toward John’s office.
I knocked, but when there was no response, I slowly opened the door.
It was only open a crack, and I could already smell the bourbon. The man clearly had an issue with alcohol. Every time I saw him, he was either drunk or on his way there.
John’s back was toward me, and he was staring at a family photo behind his desk.
“This was taken exactly a week before he was killed. Everyone looks so happy.” He turned around to look at me and took a seat at his desk. “Take a seat.”
His eyes were so bloodshot that I wondered when the last time he’d slept was and seeing all the empty bottles of alcohol on his desk, I also wondered when was the last time he’d had some water.
Taking a seat, I waited for him to start.
In the time I’d known John, I’d never had a conversation alone with him. So I was thoroughly confused as to why he’d asked to talk to me, especially considering I’d been sitting here for a whole two minutes, and he’d been staring at me the whole time, not saying anything.
I opened my mouth to ask him why he’d asked me to come here when I was cut off.
“I’m very aware of your past with my daughter, and I’m also aware of the fact that she hates you right now.”
Right to the point, I see. Dig the knife in deeper, why don’t you.
“With that being said, I know she will fall in love with you again, and I need you to know that if you break her heart a second time, I will kill you.”
Well, shit.
Not only did the man pay attention, but he actually cared. Who would’ve thought?
Now, I’d never disliked John in any way, but just out of curiosity, I asked, “No disrespect, Mr. Romano, but why did you agree to our marriage?”
Staring without speaking must have been his thing because he was doing it again—full-blown eye contact, and he wasn’t even blinking, just watching me.
After another couple of minutes passed, and I was about to get up and walk away when he cleared his throat. “I once let my need for power become so important to me that I lost my son to a war that I caused all because of money. I w
ould give everything to get my son back. The money means nothing to me now, but it’s too late.
“My wife hasn’t told me she loved me in three years. My daughter hasn’t been able to look me in the eyes since Sammy’s funeral. Every night, I sit outside my bedroom and listen to my wife cry herself to sleep. Rose hates this life, and I know you do too. If anyone can get out of it, it’s you, and I want you to do that. I can’t go back and save my son, but I can save my daughter.”
I nodded my head in understanding, and we both stood up.
“I know you love Rose and that you felt you had no choice but to leave her, but you should be the one to tell her why you left before she finds out through someone else.”
With one last look at him, I gave him a nod and walked out of his office without saying a word.
I’d always seen John Romano as a selfish man, who didn’t care about anything except money and power, but today, he’d gained a little more respect from me.
As far as Rosie went, I couldn’t tell her.
I’d already broken her heart once. It was best if I didn’t do it a second time.
Thirteen
Rose
It hadn’t hit me yet that I was getting married today. I was just numb.
Even as I sat in front of the mirror while some random lady did my hair, it still just felt like any other day.
Claire kept tiptoeing around me as if I was going to snap at any minute, but I guess I could understand that, considering I hadn’t said more than two words at a time for hours.
The lady finished my hair and told me it was time to put on my dress.
I slipped it on and walked up to the floor-to-ceiling mirror.
I stood there for a little while just looking at myself, and all I could think of was that it was such a shame that I was wasting this beautiful wedding dress on a man who didn’t even like me, let alone love me.