by V. Sousa
Sometimes, I wondered what my life would have been like if I hadn’t been with Emmett. Like, maybe I would’ve ended up with Tommy, or maybe somebody entirely different or maybe been alone, but then I remember that what-ifs were pointless.
Tommy and I had never been like that. We’d joked and flirted, but it was never anything deeper.
He was right, though. I was using him.
Emmett had always hated how flirty Tommy was, and I knew it was juvenile, but I was just so desperate for anything from Emmett, whether it be good or bad.
I just wanted some type of reaction to tell me that it wasn’t only me, that he still had some type of feelings for me, and that I didn’t see something that wasn’t there.
I looked down in embarrassment, but Tommy put his finger under my chin, lifting it back up and cupped my cheek.
“Your fight’s leaving you, Rosie. I can see it in your eyes. The universe hasn’t been good to you, but you’ve taken every hit, and you’re still going. It kills me to look at you now and see the spark leave your eyes. Your brother was so damn proud of you and your fight. It would break his heart if he could see how broken you are.” I felt a tear slide down my face, but Tommy caught it for me before it fell. “Pick your head up, Bee. You can’t see the stars down there.”
I looked up at Tommy. I didn’t know what to say for a while, but we stood there, looking at each other. It wasn’t until now that I noticed his spark was gone too.
“You’re right. We’ve lost our way, but we’ll find it again someday—we have to.” I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted.”
With the party still in full swing, I went up to my room and slipped into bed, not even bothering to change.
It wasn’t long before I fell into a deep slumber.
It was almost three in the morning when something woke me. I turned on my lamp and had to stop myself from screaming when I saw someone sitting in the corner of my room.
When my eyes finally adjusted, I saw that it was Emmett.
The room smelled of alcohol, and looking down, I saw he had an almost empty bottle in his hands.
“What the fuck, Emmett. You scared the shit out of me. You can’t just sit in my room in the dark.”
He took a long swig of the bottle and continued to stare at me. I then noticed his eyes were bloodshot, and I wondered if it was due to lack of sleep or if he was just that drunk. Judging by the bottle being nearly empty, I was going with the latter.
This was the second time I’d ever seen Emmett plastered. I had seen him drunk a few times, but never like this. He didn’t usually allow himself to be in a situation where he was so intoxicated that he couldn’t think straight. It was a rare sight to see Emmett Rossi out of control, and right now, I’d definitely say he was out of control.
“Did you have fun tonight?” he slurred. “Better yet, did you fuck him?”
He was probably talking about Tommy. If he had really been looking, he would’ve seen that I went to bed alone, but since he clearly wanted to put on a show, I would humor him.
Sitting up, I let out a small, somber laugh. “Fuck who, Emmett? You? Tommy? You gotta be more specific here.”
His eyes flared, and he clutched the bottle tighter. “You know damn well who I’m talking about, Rose.”
“And what if I did? Fuck him, I mean. Maybe I did fuck Tommy, right here on this bed. What would it matter to you?” I shouldn’t provoke him, but it wasn’t fair for him to disappear for days and just show back up when he was mad.
He abruptly stood, throwing the chair back and smashing the bottle against the wall. “You’re mine!” he yelled at me. “We are married, Rose, or do you not remember that?”
“As if I could forget,” I yelled back at him. “I’m in this big-ass house alone every damn day while you’re off doing God knows what. I haven’t seen you in two weeks, Emmett, and we fucking work together. If it really means that much to you, no, I did not sleep with Tommy. I’m loyal even when you don’t deserve it.”
He let out a long breath and sat on the side of my bed.
“I saw the way you looked at him, and I went crazy. I miss the way you used to look at me. You would look at me as if I hung the moon, but now you barely even look at me to begin with. In your eyes, I’m just another person who left you.” He gave me a humorless laugh.
“There comes a point where sorry isn’t enough. No apology can even begin to repair what has been broken. I know that, but I lost everything, too, when Sammy died. And before you say it, I know I’m the reason I lost you, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I was dealt a really shitty hand, and I couldn’t switch out the cards. I know I’ve hurt you. I will never forgive myself for the things I’ve done, and I’m not asking you to either, but I want to try to make this work. I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. After I got another taste of you in New York, I wanted more, but there are some things you need to know before we move forward, and I couldn’t trust myself to keep my hands to myself, so I thought it would just be better if I stayed away until I could gather up the balls to tell you.”
“Okay, what is it?” I reluctantly asked.
“Tomorrow. I need to be sober for this conversation.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Do you forgive me?”
“Not even close.” I pulled my hand back. “You have to work for that.”
“Fair enough,” he said with a chuckle. “Can I sleep in here, though? Someone’s in my bed, and I’d rather sleep next to my wife tonight.”
“Fine, but stay on your side.”
Twenty-Two
Rose
Opening my eyes, I instantly felt a pounding headache and the urge to throw up, which was annoying, considering I only had three shots, and the most I’d got out of it was a thirty-minute buzz.
A hand that wasn’t mine moved up my stomach a little, and I let out a tiny squeal before everything came back to me, and I remembered my conversation with Emmett. I was shocked he was still in bed. I thought he would have woken up and left, going back to cold Emmett.
I lay in bed for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the feel of having him next to me. I didn’t want him to think I’d already forgiven him for disappearing just yet, so I slowly slid out of his grasp, but the second I stood up, nausea hit me full force, and the next thing I knew, I was racing into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I threw up.
After another two whole minutes of straight dry heaving, I felt a little better. I quickly brushed my teeth and went into the closet to grab some clothes. I peeked over at the bed, wondering if my throwing up had woken Emmett, but he was still dead asleep, snoring away.
I finished getting ready and was walking out of my room when I saw Lorenzo sneaking out of the guest room that I was positive I’d given Claire yesterday.
I wondered how that came about considering the last time I saw the both of them, one was shaking her ass for some random, and the other was dancing and making out with not one but two randoms at the same time.
After Lorenzo left, I slipped into the room, and I saw Claire under the covers, pretending to sleep.
I took a pillow from one of the chairs and threw it at her. “I know you’re awake, you harlot. I saw him leave.”
She threw the covers off her face and laughed. “Here I was thinking I was slick.”
“Not trying to pry, but the last time I saw you both, you were preoccupied with different people, so how’d this happen?”
She let out a long sigh. “I don’t know, Rosie. Sometimes he’s so sweet, and other times he’s just a whole other person.”
“He’s a Gemini, Claire, two faces and all that.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never understand the inner workings of a Gemini, and I don’t think anyone ever will, but you just gotta ride the wave.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know how much longer I can stay in the water.” She frowned, fidgeting with the seam of the blanket.
“Wow. That was deep. Let’s go i
nto the kitchen and eat our sorrows.” I pulled the blankets off her.
She threw her hand in the air and pointed to the ceiling. “To the kitchen,” she said, but as she went to jump off the bed, her foot got caught, and she smashed onto the floor.
I waited a few seconds to make sure she wasn’t really hurt, but when she gave me a thumbs-up, the laugh I’d been holding in burst out. I was holding my stomach, hunched over when she grabbed my ankle, and the next thing I knew, I was going down too.
“I guess I deserved that. I think I peed a little, though,” I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
Claire finally got up and held her hand out to help me up. “What do you say we sneak out and eat breakfast somewhere else?”
“Yeah, definitely. Let’s go.”
Twenty-Three
Rose
I’d been really dizzy for the past two days, and after almost passing out this morning, Lorenzo decided to drag me to the doctor. He wanted me to call Emmett, but I insisted that we leave him be.
Emmett had been having some trouble with work and had to take a last-minute business trip the day after Lorenzo’s birthday party. I was really disappointed when he told me because I had been hoping he was going to tell me whatever it was that he’d needed to get off his chest, but I guess it was going to have to wait.
Although I was pleasantly surprised because he’d been texting and calling daily to ask how I was doing.
Lorenzo and I were called in, and a nurse took my blood to run a few tests. She then ushered us into a room and told us the doctor would be in shortly.
“I can’t believe you had to leave the room when they took my blood. You’re a criminal, Lorenzo, aren’t you used to it by now?”
When the nurse first pulled the needle out, his face went so pale that I thought he was going to pass out, and when she tied the rubber band around my arm, he’d bolted out of the room like his ass was on fire.
He looked at me, still looking horrified. “It’s not the blood part as much as the ‘needle going into you’ part. I’ve never liked it.”
“Okay, big guy,” I said with a laugh.
He flipped me off at the same time the doctor walked into the room.
“Well, good afternoon,” he said, eyeing the both of us in confusion. He extended his hand toward me to shake. “My name is Doctor Hammond. What seems to be the problem?”
“Well, I’ve been dizzy the past couple of days., I figure I’m fine, but this guy”—I pointed to Lorenzo—“thinks my days are numbered.”
The doctor chuckled. “Well, I can assure you it’s quite the opposite, actually.”
When he didn’t go into detail, Lorenzo and I gave him a questioning look. “What does that mean?” Lorenzo finally asked.
“Oh, right, sorry. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!” He smiled at us.
Lorenzo looked like he was about to fall over, but I just laughed. “Very funny, but seriously, tell me what’s wrong so I can go home and eat a sandwich.”
“I can assure you, Mrs. Rossi, I’m not joking. You’re a few weeks along. I don’t have the proper equipment here to show you, but be sure enough, there is a baby in there.” He turned to Lorenzo. “Are you the dad?”
Neither of us answered, too shocked to even speak, so the doctor just awkwardly cleared his throat. “Okay, well, I’ll give you two some privacy to talk, and whenever you’re ready, just go to the front desk, and they can give you a referral to a good OB-GYN. It was very nice meeting you, Mrs. Rossi.”
He nodded at both of us before shutting the door.
Lorenzo went into full panic mode and started pacing the room. “He’s going to kill us,” he kept repeating.
I was so in shock that I didn’t even bother to question what he was going on about.
He stopped pacing and looked up at me with wide eyes. “What are we going to tell him? Emmett’s going to kill me. How did this even happen? When did this even happen? Who’s the dad? Well, it doesn’t even matter because he’s going to kill him too. Please tell me it’s not Tommy. I saw the two of you at my party. Oh, fuck, it’s Tommy, isn’t it? We’re fucked.” He kept rambling.
“Will you shut the hell up?” I said, hoping off the table. “It’s Emmett’s.”
Leaving the room, I could practically feel the sigh of relief Lorenzo let out from behind me.
“Thank God,” he said while following me out.
On our way home, I tried to wrap my brain around the fact I was having a baby. Emmett and I had been so back and forth. We were in no position to bring a child into the world. He was still hot and cold, and I felt like we’d just found a good middle ground where I didn’t hate him. Would this set us back even further? Would he even be happy?
All this thinking was giving me a headache.
We drove up to the house, and even though it was still early, I decided to go to sleep and worry about my problems tomorrow.
Twenty-Four
Rose
Emmett texted me to let me know he got back early in the morning, only stopping at home for a minute to change, before he had to hurry to the office, and that he’d see me when I got there.
I was going to tell him about the baby when I got to work, figuring the longer I waited, the harder it would be. But then I changed my mind again, deciding I didn’t really want to have this conversation at work. I would just wait until we got home later.
We’d talked about having kids when we were younger, but I couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction would be. Part of me thought he would be happy, but the other part was worried he would be mad we were so careless. The last thing I wanted to see in his eyes was regret.
I walked into the walk-in closet to get ready when my phone started ringing. Thinking it was Emmett and that Lorenzo had accidentally let it slip, I rushed to pick it up, but my heart dropped when I saw the caller ID.
Stephanie.
With shaky hands, I swiped to answer. “Hello?”
“Rose?” a squeaky little voice said. “It’s Romeo.”
“Yes, sweetie, what’s wrong?” I tried to contain my nerves, not wanting to freak out and stress him out.
“Well, Mom said that if something’s ever wrong to use this phone and call you, so I’m calling you because Gianna’s really sick, and she needs her medicine, but I don’t know where it is. Dad was yelling yesterday, and I haven’t seen Mom since. I checked her room, but she’s not there, and Dad left, and Gianna won’t stop crying, and I need your help, please.”
“Okay, Romeo, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Keep this phone with you, and if your dad comes home, I want you to hide it, okay? Don’t tell him you talked to me.”
“Okay, thank you. Please hurry.” Then he hung up.
I thought about calling Emmett to tell him what was going on, but I knew he had a lot of important meetings today, and I didn’t want to bother him. But I also wasn’t dumb enough to go to the devil’s castle alone so I go with good ole reliable. Lorenzo.
“Lorenzo,” I yelled as I was leaving the closet.
He barged into the room with his gun drawn. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine. I just need you to take a quick trip to New York with me.” I added in a shrug, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal.
“What? A quick trip? What are you, crazy? For what?” He threw his hands in the air with each new question.
“I need to go check on Emmett’s siblings. Gianna’s sick.” I tried to sound relaxed, not wanting him to see my panic and call Emmett.
“Can’t they have someone a little closer to them figure it out?”
“No. They called me, so can we get to it? We can call the helicopter on the way and get it ready to go.”
“Have you called and told Emmett?” he asked.
I contemplated telling him the truth, but I didn’t have the energy to argue. “Yeah, he said okay, but I have to take you with me, so can we go now?”
He gave me a tired sigh. “Yeah, let’s go.
”
I shot Emmett a quick text so that he didn’t get worried when I didn’t show up to the office.
Rose: Hey, my stomach’s hurting. I’m going to stay home today. Good luck with all your meetings! I’ll see you later.
My father had always taught Sammy and me to go with our gut. That if we felt like something was off, we needed to believe it and prepare ourselves. The worst thing that could happen was to be blindsided by something.
Walking up the stairs to Emmett’s father’s house, I got the feeling something was about to go down.
At first, when Romeo had called me, I knew something had happened, but I didn’t think it was anything too bad. But the closer we got, the more I started to get the feeling.
I could just turn around and let it be, but I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to the kids, and I was right there.
I looked to Lorenzo, and he must have felt it, too, because he pulled his gun out and handed it to me before pulling out another one from his ankle for himself and giving me a nod.
I opened the door, and it was silent.
Lorenzo went in before me, and we both looked around for the kids, but there was no one around.
I went up the stairs to Gianna’s room and let out a very slow breath when I spotted the top of Natalia’s ponytail poking out from the other side of the bed.
They all looked up as I got farther into the room, and I saw their eyes light up.
“I need you guys to stay up here, okay? I’m going to go find Romeo and your mom. Go into the bathroom and lock the door until I come back for you.” They gave me a nod, and I walked back out.
Lorenzo met me outside the bedroom door. “There’s no one on the first or second floor. I checked all the rooms.”
“The three youngest are in here. I told them to wait in the bathroom, but that still leaves Stephanie and Romeo.”