by Hart, Lane
“I don’t like it,” Cedric says.
“I don’t either. You know I never would’ve touched these kinds of pills before…before I met Lowell. When he didn’t like how I ‘was acting,’ he would feed them to me. He started doing it constantly, until I couldn’t get through the day without them.”
“Promise me, Ev. After these are gone, you’re done.”
“I promise,” I reply. The silence in the room says that neither of us quite believe my bullshit. So I try and change the subject. “What happened with Lowell?”
“He was so fucking pissed I thought his head was going to explode. Oh, and I kicked his ass,” Cedric informs me with a grin. “Felt good to hurt him like he once hurt me. And then the sheriff arrested him, and his buddies ran off.”
“So, he’s in jail?” I ask.
“He is. Hopefully for a long time. But you don’t have to worry about him finding your mother or getting to you.”
“Good. That’s good,” I agree.
Chapter Fifteen
Cedric
It only takes another few days for me to see an obvious pattern forming.
Every morning Evelyn is hot and horny, wanting nothing to eat or drink, just sex and more sex. Then, she passes out cold, not sleeping, but something even deeper for hours and hours.
And it’s not like she’s wide awake at night or anything. She sleeps from lunchtime to around sunrise before the cycle starts again.
Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t seem to recall any details about what we do in our trysts the next day, making me think that this is how she endured her time with Lowell, how she was able to let him have her body without her having to be mentally present.
It makes me angry and sad. In a way, I almost wish she had feelings for Lowell, that she loved him despite the fact that he was a dick so that she wouldn’t have had to be drugged up to endure him.
And god, now I feel like an idiot for enjoying her insatiability when it’s not even her who wants me but the effects of the pills she’s been popping. I’m no better than her jackass husband.
While Ev’s in one of her deep comas, I go through her purse and find the plastic bag that has just two yellow pills left. Even though I feel bad about snooping, I keep digging around to make sure she doesn’t have any more stashes. Thankfully, she doesn’t.
So, two more pills, one more insane morning of fucking followed by hours and hours of deep sleep, and then hopefully she’ll start getting back to normal.
* * *
Evelyn
Two pills.
I’m down to just two, and that causes a wave of panic to wash over me. What am I going to do when I run out? I’ve never gone more than a few days without the high. When I was being ‘bad’, Lowell would hold them over my head until I started to get physically sick. I’m terrified to find out what will happen when I really hit the bottom.
But then I remember that things are better in my life. I’m no longer with Lowell, and I love being with Cedric. My mom is hanging on, and I can go see her whenever I want, which we’re going to do as soon as Cedric wakes up.
I don’t need those two little pills. I’ll be just fine without them. I know I can endure this. For Cedric, for my mom…for myself, to truly have my life back under my control.
I’m washing my hair when Cedric slides open the door to the shower stall and steps in with me. “Good morning,” I smile at him as I squeeze the water out of my hair.
He stares at my breasts while my arms are lifted over my head, and then his gaze drops down the front of my body. I can feel his desire and quite obviously see it as his hard cock pulses to grab my attention. Cedric just grins at me, before asking “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Determined,” I reply as I grab the handle of the shower head and bring it around my body on its long cord to spray hot water on him.
“That feels good,” he murmurs as I let the jets of water warm both of our bodies. “Determined to do what?” he adds after placing his hands on my hips.
“Determined to beat this addiction. I have to admit it now, Cedric. I let myself get hooked on those drugs. The reasons why don’t matter now. What matters is that I know that I can get better. I can beat this with you. We can beat this, together, if you…if you still want me, even knowing that I…”
“Hey, stop that,” Cedric whispers as he drags me to him and presses his lips to mine. “I’ve got my own scars from the time we were apart, Ev. I meant what I said, baby. I’m all in for you. It might not be easy, but after all I’ve done to get back to you, you better believe I don’t take the easy way out. Whatever you need, whatever it takes, I’ll be there. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I reply, still waving the shower head around to keep us warm. The one thing that’s even hotter than the water and steam surging around us is Cedric’s cock, still throbbing as it’s trapped between our bellies. “Now, sit down.” I push Cedric gently towards the low shelf at the back of the stall, where his soap and shampoo bottles are gathered.
I spray him down to make sure he stays warm before turning the water on myself, starting at my breasts. Cedric’s eyes widen and his lips part as I squeeze my breasts and rub them as the water cascades over me. I drag the stream of water down my stomach and then brace my hand against the wall as the shower head reaches my pussy. “Oh God,” I moan quietly as I raise my leg and place it on the shelf beside Cedric, giving him a better view as the water pounds at my clit.
“Holy shit, Ev, is this how you…” Cedric starts to ask.
“Uh-huh,” I reply breathlessly, cutting him off. “I used to get left hanging all the time and would have to hit the shower to…to…oh fuck, Cedric!” I cry as a spasm runs through my entire body. I’m just about to cum when I suddenly lower my leg and spin around, spraying water carelessly. Reaching between my thighs as I crouch down, I grab Cedric’s shaft and guide him to my slick entrance, sinking down and taking every glorious inch of him as his hands come up from behind me and grab my breasts.
Cedric groans as his arms wrap around me, pulling my back to his chest as I grind myself against him. Both of our moans turn into shocked gasps of pleasure as I lower the shower head back down to my clit, the pulsing water also slapping onto his balls.
“Holy fuck, Ev!” Cedric moans. “Do that again, keep it right there.”
Words completely fail me as Cedric’s hands grab my hips and begin bouncing me on his cock, while I keep the jet of water on us. Our moans quickly escalate into cries of ecstasy as an earth-shattering orgasm rocks through my body. Before I can even get control of my legs, Cedric grinds me down against his cock one last time before lifting me off of him, his cum exploding over my ass and back, so hot I can feel it over the heat in the shower.
Once we both recover from our releases, we take our time soaping each other up, our lips locked together as our hands explore and clean each other after our messy exertion. It takes us almost an hour to get dressed and finally prepare to leave the Savage Asylum.
“That’s how I want to get ready every morning,” I tell Cedric as we walk hand-in-hand over to my mom’s new apartment.
“I think we can arrange that,” he agrees with a smile. “Come on, let’s make sure Rita is doing well and then go get some food. You’ll need to eat and drink a lot to stay strong for what’s coming.”
“Do you think the withdrawal is going to be that bad?” I ask him.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he replies, looking surprised. “I meant the fuckings you’re going to get.”
I swat his arm and laugh at him as I ring the doorbell. “You keep your hands to yourself when we’re around my mom,” I warn him with a smile. Instead of replying, he wraps one strong arm around me and jerks our bodies together, his lips finding mine for a kiss.
“It is so good to see the two of you together like this,” my mom tells us as soon as she opens the door. I didn’t expect her to get to the door so quickly, and I’m flushed and breathless as Cedric releases
me.
“Have you been doing okay? No visitors?” I ask in concern, trying to peek past her into the apartment. While Lowell may be locked up, it doesn’t mean he won’t ask one of the other guys in the MC to try to track her down.
“Quiet as a mouse around here,” she says. “And with a wonderful view of the ocean. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. I just love it here.”
“Good,” I say in relief. “And I’ve got you an appointment with a new doctor in Wilmington next week. Cedric is right — he is one of the best nephrologists in the country.”
“There’s no reason for me to see him now. I just had a checkup before we left, and everything was perfectly fine.”
“I know, but I would feel better if you see your new doctor now while you’re doing well instead of trying to get in if you have a bad spell,” I explain to her.
“Very well,” she agrees with a sigh.
“I can go with you if you want?” Cedric offers.
“Well, that’s a sweet offer, and I might just take you up on it,” she smiles. “Now, you two come on in and sit down. I’ve got a pot of coffee going. Would you like some?”
We sit with my mother and make small talk while one of the morning game shows plays in the background. Unfortunately, it isn’t long before I begin to get…fidgety. That’s the only way I can describe the feeling that rapidly builds in my chest before spreading throughout my body. My stomach feels like it’s trembling, while my heart and lungs seem to develop an uncomfortable ache.
Before an hour has passed, the pills are calling my name from my purse.
“Take me, take me, take me! You know you want to!”
And I do want to, really, really bad. Which sucks.
I’ve never tried to stop using. Whenever I thought about it, I figured it would be easy to do when I was ready, if I were ever ready to do so.
It was always hard for me to figure out why some people struggle to give up alcohol or smoking. Shouldn’t it be mind over matter, stand strong and move on through the urges?
Now I know how wrong I was about them, and myself, because I can’t even make it until lunchtime before I sneak into my mother’s bathroom to pop one of the pills in my mouth, taking off the edge.
I’ve been taking less and less, so by tomorrow, when I take the last one, I may not even crave it.
* * *
Sleep later that night is impossible.
I’ve never had trouble before. Getting awake and out of bed was usually the hardest part of my day, the part I dreaded.
Now, I lay here tossing and turning, reaching my hand over to rub the cold spot on the sheets, missing Cedric who had to work tonight, monitoring the club’s security. It’s not hot in his apartment, but my entire body seems to be sweating so badly that I have to throw off the sheets and lie there, naked and exposed. The aching in my chest now has a throbbing headache to keep it company. Not to mention all the trips to the bathroom I’ve made to throw up.
Eventually, I just get up and take the last pill and throw away the now empty baggie, promising myself that this is the last one I’ll ever put in my mouth.
It has to be, or it will ruin everything with Cedric.
Chapter Sixteen
Cedric
When Reece wakes up and comes to relieve me on security duty the next morning, I rush back to my apartment to check on Evelyn and see how she’s feeling. She assured me last night she could manage the symptoms she was having. I want to trust her, but I’ve never dealt with anyone in my life facing any sort of addiction, and I’m not sure what to expect.
I’m certainly not expecting to come into my bedroom and find her completely naked, lying on top of my bare mattress while all of the sheets are balled up at the foot of the bed. Her back is facing me, and she doesn’t react when I enter the room, so I tiptoe over to check on her.
When I lay my hand on her back to check her breathing, she startles awake, almost leaping from the bed. “Cold!” she stammers, relaxing a bit when she sees me, but then wrapping her arms protectively around her breasts.
“I’ll bet you are, you kicked off all the sheets,” I try to commiserate with her as I get down on one knee before her. Now that I’m face to face with her, I can see the deep, dark circles under her eyes, just before the smell hits me.
“Your hands, I meant,” she smiles at me weakly. “I’ve been burning up all night, and your hands felt frozen. It actually felt good.”
“Do you want me to put them somewhere on you?” I ask her playfully. “If so, let’s get you into the shower. I hate to say it Ev, but it smells like you had a rough night.”
“Ugh, yeah. I can smell myself. That’s a bad sign, isn’t it?” she jokes.
She’s trying to play it down, but her stomach emits a long, angry gurgling sound that has to be a horribly painful cramp from the way she winces. “Come on, let me help you back to the bathroom. I wish I had a tub for you to soak in, but at the least you can sit down in the shower for a while.”
“Don’t make it too hot,” she pleads as I help her to her feet. “And could you get me a few bottles of water? I drank every one you had in your little refrigerator last night.”
“Yeah, I’ll go restock everything while you clean up. Are you hungry? You need to try to eat,” I tell her as I help her sit down in the shower. I turn on the water, noticing that she barely reacts when the first cold blast hits her.
“I don’t think I can eat,” she says weakly. “It feels like the worst hangover of my life. Maybe just the water and some Tylenol or something?”
“I’ll go get it,” I reassure her. “Stay here and relax. We’ll stay in today, or for as long as you need to get through this. It’s going to suck, Ev, but we can do this together, all right?
She nods at me weakly, closing her eyes as she sticks her head into the spray of water. I leave her there, rushing to gather the things she requested so I can get back quickly. I pray to god that this is the worst of it and that in the next few days we can put this behind us.
* * *
Evelyn
When I’m able to crack open my dry, crusty eyes, Cedric is no longer in bed with me. It takes me a few minutes to gather the energy to roll over and see the digital clock, which shows me that it’s just past midnight. I vaguely recall him kissing me goodbye before he went for his shift monitoring security from the apartment down the hall. Now that my eyes are open, they feel like two sandy marbles in my skull, so dry that it’s painful to even blink. Groaning, I swing my legs out of bed and toss the sweaty t-shirt I’m wearing onto the floor. Once I find fresh panties and I’ve brushed my teeth, I dig through Cedric’s closet until I find an old Aerosmith t-shirt I remember him wearing when he was younger. It smells like him, and I pull it on, grateful that the scent seems to calm my nerves.
I’m wide awake now, so I turn on the small television to see if I can find anything to pass the time. As I watch one of the late shows, a strange pressure builds inside my chest, an anxious, foreboding feeling that is so powerful it seems to have a physical weight crushing down on my organs. I can’t just sit still while that feeling keeps building, so I pull on a pair of shorts under my t-shirt and then wander down the hall to look around. I vaguely recall Cedric showing me around the clubhouse our first day, but the memory is cloudy at best.
Just as I step around a corner, I come face-to-chest with a tall, red-headed woman who I haven’t met before. “Oh!” I squeak in surprise as I jump back. “I’m so sorry. I was in my head and didn’t hear you…” I trail off, realizing I’m babbling.
“Hey, it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” the woman reassures me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around the club before. I’m Cynthia, Reece’s girlfriend. Wait, don’t tell me, you must be Evelyn! Reece told me a bit about you!”
Her smile and demeanor are so friendly that I feel myself relaxing a bit before I reply, “That’s me. I hope Reece didn’t say anything too awful. The way Cedric brought me here has apparently caused a few issues.”
“Oh, phooey, don’t ever worry about that. Has Cedric told you about the other members of the club? Trust me, you are no trouble compared to most of the girls the other boys have settled down with. You would not believe what some of these guys get themselves into. If anything, you and Cedric have the sweetest background, growing up together and being such close friends. I didn’t think I’d ever find that sort of connection until Reece came into my life.”
Listening to her, so friendly and welcoming, it occurs to me that I haven’t had a female friend in…I can’t remember, since high school at least. Cynthia stops and stares at me for a moment, then puts an arm around my shoulders. “Hey, Evelyn, is everything okay? Is Cedric treating you all right, or is something wrong? We’re all a big family here, if there’s something you need to talk about.”
“No, it’s not…Cedric is amazing. It’s just so overwhelming, you know?” The lie comes easily to my lips, making me hate myself a little more each time I deny the real problem. “He helped me escape from this guy, Lowell; and now Cedric’s working tonight, and I guess I just don’t know what to do with myself…”
“I don’t know if Cedric told you, but I have a history with an abusive ex,” Cynthia confides in me.
“Ah, yeah. I think he mentioned that,” I tell her. I want her to keep talking to me, to distract me from the awful anxiety that is now threating to claw its way out of my throat or explode out of my eyes. They’re throbbing in their sockets now, making it hard to concentrate on our conversation. I feel as if I’ll claw my eyeballs out if I don’t take something soon. Anything would do, even some Nyquil. But Cedric completely cleared out the medicine cabinet in his bathroom.