“What are you doing?”
He crouched down in front of me and started wiping my face gently. I closed my eyes because it felt so good right now. But having my eyes closed made the room shift faster, so I opened them again.
“You look upset.”
His gaze met mine. “Do me a favor and don’t talk.”
“I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes again. “I’ve never been this drunk before. I mean, I have, but not this year.” My brows pulled. “Not in a few years.”
“So why tonight? Why did you decide to come to a toga party of all places and get drunk tonight?” He stopped wiping my face.
“Because I’m sad.” My lip wobbled when I said that out loud, my eyes pooling with water. I hadn’t said anything aloud. I hadn’t spoken about my brother’s state or my father’s indiscretions. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about any of the things that were burdening me, and the mixture of the alcohol and information felt excruciating tonight. “I’m so terribly, terribly sad.”
“Are you going to tell me about it?” He sat beside me, our backs leaning against the wall, his head turned toward me.
I bit my lip hard, shaking my head. I couldn’t. I couldn’t start talking about Lincoln right now, not here, not like this. I would break more than I already was. Just thinking about my brother in a hospital bed, my brother, whom I hadn’t visited since I left him because I didn’t want to deal with the full reality of seeing him like that. I was a pansy. I was a pansy and I was alone and I needed my best friend to wake the fuck up so that he could help me deal with all of these things. My best friend. Why hadn’t he told me about dad? About Lana? Why hadn’t he said anything? I could’ve helped him. I wasn’t sure how, but I would’ve tried. Anything was better than the helplessness I felt right now. Anything was better than sitting drunk on a bathroom floor with the hottest guy I knew wiping vomit off my face because I couldn’t seem to keep myself in check.
“Why do you care?” I sniffed. “You’re not my friend, remember?”
“I’m not your friend.” He put his hand on mine and held it. “I’m your blood, remember?”
I felt a crack in my chest as the tears trickled down my cheeks, as if it had grown a little, enough to fit him in, and that scared me. I hadn’t known him long enough to feel this way. I didn’t know him well enough to feel this deeply for him, yet I did. In the past, I’d fallen slowly, after being friends with guys for a while. This felt different. Maybe it was the fact that instead of turning his back on me, he’d helped me when I was on the floor vomiting. Maybe it was realizing that I couldn’t carry the weight of my fucked-up family and really needed someone in my corner. Maybe it was the alcohol, still coursing through my veins despite my body’s attempt to get it out. Whatever the case, Logan had taken ownership of a part of me and even though I couldn’t understand it entirely, I knew there was no use in questioning these emotions. The heart never asked for permission, it just felt.
“Can we get out of here?” I whispered.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I just miss my brother. I miss him so much.” I started to cry again. Logan let go of my hand and wrapped an arm around me. There was a knock on the door, then another. Someone on the other side started yelling.
“Shut the fuck up and leave,” Logan roared back. I flinched at his voice beside my ear. He held my head to his shoulder again. “Sorry.”
“Maybe we should just go,” I said. “I feel like brushing my teeth anyway.”
“Not a bad idea.”
He stood up and offered me his hand. I placed mine in it, meeting his gaze. It was the same hand he’d touched just a minute ago, the same hands we’d held during our blood oath earlier. I was really grateful to have him pulling me up and keeping me steady. He handed me the bottle of water as we walked out of the bathroom, and I took it gratefully, twisting the cap and gulping down half the contents. We beelined toward the front door, but on the way, we were stopped by numerous people—guys asking where he was going, girls pressing themselves provocatively onto him as I watched.
One of them, in particular, couldn’t seem to catch a clue and brought his hand up to her breast. If Logan was caught off guard, he didn’t show it. Instead, he lowered his hand and walked away until another stopped him and grabbed at him. It was a ridiculous sight, the kind of thing you’d expect from fangirls at a BTS concert, not from students toward an athlete. I forced myself to turn and walk away. I couldn’t stomach seeing it any longer—the groping, the flailing—it was all too much for me tonight.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The crisp air hit me the moment I opened the door, reminding me that it was fall and I was completely underdressed for this weather. I pulled the towel tighter around myself. The screen in front of the front door shut with a squeak and a clank behind me.
“You heading out?” It was Hailey’s voice, coming from the direction of the porch, where we’d been sitting earlier.
“Yeah. Tired.”
“You look it.” She eyed me up and down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this . . . distressed before.”
“Thanks for that.” I drank the rest of the water.
A small smile tugged her lips, as if she was enjoying this. It made me frown. Even the bitchiest friends I had back home wouldn’t be happy to see me like this, not to my face anyway.
“I should be heading out soon too,” she said. “You want a ride?”
“No, thanks.” I crunched the water bottle. “Did you even go inside?”
“Of course I did. I was taking shots with Travis.” Her eyes gleamed at my obvious loss of words.
Maybe Hailey was a mean drunk. No, Hailey was definitely a mean drunk. The door opened and shut again before I could try to form a response to that. She looked away from me, eyes wide at the sight of Logan.
“You’re leaving with him?”
“How is that any of your business?” Logan asked, walking to stand beside me. “Don’t you have a bar to tend to?”
“Don’t you have some random woman to accost?”
“I don’t accost women.”
“Oh, so it’s only your brother who does that and your father? You know what they say about apples and trees.”
I put my hand on Logan’s arm when I saw him inch forward as if he was going to step up to her.
“Hey, let’s go.” I squeezed his arm.
“You’re just mad that I never gave you the time of day,” he spat.
“You never give anyone the time of day. You use women and discard them,” Hailey scoffed. “Why don’t you tell Mae the little game you and your friends like to play at the bar on Thursday nights?”
“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” Logan’s bicep seemed to grow two inches beneath my grip.
“Just last Thursday you had a girl sucking your dick under the booth.” Hailey tilted her head. “What was her name? Tonya?”
“Let’s go.” I tugged his arm once more. I needed to get him out of here. I needed to get myself out of here before I threw up all over the lawn. I wasn’t sure if Hailey’s words were meant to make me feel this sick, but each comment made me want to vomit more. I let go of his arm and put my hand in his, threading my fingers through his and tugging. He blinked away from her and looked at me, as if he was in a haze. “I want to go home.”
“Let’s go.” He started walking. Finally.
“Bye, Hailey.” I shot Hailey a what the fuck look over my shoulder.
“Don’t let him take advantage of you, Mae,” she called out as we walked away. “Call me tomorrow.”
My hand was still holding Logan’s when we reached his truck. I knew he wouldn’t actually do anything to her, but the screaming match had been enough for me to know they hated each other. It was odd though, she hadn’t made any negative comment about him aside from saying he was an asshole. She must be drunk right now, or on some mind-bending opioid. Probably both.
“She’s drunk,” I said as we got in his tr
uck. “She never acts like this.”
“She’s a bitch.”
I blinked. I’d never heard him say anything like that. We both clicked our seatbelts on and he started driving, his grip tight on the steering wheel.
“She really doesn’t act like this ever,” I said again, my mind still on Hailey.
“Let it go,” Logan said. “She’s just mad I turned her down. She’s a jealous—”
“Bitch, yes, I get it. Please stop calling her that already. She’s my friend and she’s been nice to me.” I frowned as I said that. She had been nice up until today.
“I’ll try.” He pressed the back of his head on the headrest and exhaled loudly. “This is not how I envisioned tonight going.”
“How’d you envision it going?”
“Not like this.”
“I have a confession,” I said after a while.
“What?” His voice was clipped.
I paused before saying, “I thought all Canadians were Casper-white.”
“What?” He barked out a surprised laugh. I eyed his knuckles on the steering wheel and noticed they were no longer white. “What are you talking about?”
“I just always assumed all Canadians were super white. I mean, Alanis Morrissett, Justin Beiber, Celine Dion, Ryan Reynolds . . .”
“Ryan Reynolds isn’t Casper-white.”
“Yeah, but I think he spray tans.” My brows furrowed as I looked at him. “Wait, do you spray tan? Can you even spray tan and get that color?”
“I don’t spray tan.” He laughed, shaking his head. “My mom’s black.”
“Oh.” My frown deepened. “And she’s Canadian?”
“Astounding, isn’t it?” He side-eyed me, still looking amused. “You know, Drake is Canadian and he’s half black.”
“I think his dad is from Texas,” I said. “So it doesn’t count.”
“We’re a true melting pot. We have all colors, races, cultures. You’ve never been to Canada?”
“I can’t say that I have. I want to though.” I smiled. “Now I want to see a picture of your mom.”
“She lives in Colorado.”
“I know, I remember you saying that, but I still want to go to Canada.”
“I’ll take you.”
“Will this trip happen before or after you’re a hot-shot NHL player who will forget all about me?”
His right hand let go of the steering wheel as he reached over, threading his fingers through mine. “I would never forget about you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t respond to it at all. It was probably for the best. My heart felt like it was trying to jackhammer its way out of my body through any trajectory it found—my chest, my throat, my ears, my vagina. I felt it everywhere. This felt like unchartered territory for me. I licked my lips and decided to change the subject.
“So, did you drive this truck all the way down from Canada or did you buy it here?” I asked. “Or did you ship it here?”
“Not all of us have the luxury of white-glove service, you know?” He side-eyed me. My mouth dropped. How did he know about that? Before I could jump in and ask, he continued, “I drove it all the way from Canada. You do realize it’s only a four-hour drive from Toronto, right?”
I snorted. “Yeah, but we’ve already established that I’ve never been.”
“And if you had been, it would’ve been via private jet.”
“You’re making me feel bad about money I don’t even have.”
“Because it’s your parent’s.” His lips quirked.
“You know, you’re a real asshole. I should’ve let you stay mad.” I tried to pull my hand from his, but he laughed and tightened his grip, and I couldn’t help it, I laughed along with him. I felt so . . . free. In that moment, where it was just two college kids trying to finish up their last semesters. Not two adults trying to navigate the shit the universe kept slinging at them.
“I figured you’d been to Canada,” he said as we pulled into the gates of The Labyrinth. “I thought you were a world traveler. Your parents are always traveling for their charity.”
“You know about that?”
“It’s one of the only things I like about your father.” He glanced at me, eyes twinkling and full of mischief. “And the fact that he made you.”
“You’re a smooth talker, Logan Moriarty Fitzgerald.” I blushed. Honestly, there was no way anyone who hung out with him stood a chance.
“Glad to hear it. Normally, I don’t need smooth words to get women naked and in my bed.”
“Ah, this is where we’re headed again?”
“This is where we’ve always been headed. I just decided to take the scenic route with you.”
Once the car was parked, he let go of my hand. We got down and walked toward the house. In the darkness, you could barely see the house. There were no porch lights on, no lights inside that you could see with the windows covered. It was eerily quiet, the only sound was coming from the grasshoppers and the leaves shaking off the trees and onto the ground. Our shoes crunched on the gravel as we reached the door. I was exhausted from the day, the party, and the alcohol and I desperately needed a shower, but I had too many questions and knew I’d be getting little to no sleep in here.
“I don’t even know what the society does,” I said. “I mean, what do we do while we’re here? What do they really expect from me?”
“We have fundraisers happening every month. This month, all of the money raised by our donors will benefit injured veterans. Next month, it’ll fund electric and hydrogen power research.”
“So, fundraising?”
“Amongst other things. That’s what I’m in charge of, which is why I know what we fund.”
“So, you ask people for money?”
“People want to hand me money any chance they get.” Logan grinned over his shoulder as he unlocked the door. “Instead of accepting it for myself, I have them donate to these causes.”
“Oh.” I walked inside and watched him lock it behind us. “Why do they want to give you money?”
“You ever heard of boosters?”
“Yeah.” Lincoln had spoken to me about that. As had Travis, who had a couple of people giving him money for things on the down low. “Isn’t that illegal? Can’t you get kicked out of school for accepting money?”
“I don’t accept money. Not personally anyway.”
“Do you have any favorite charities?”
“Women & Children Global Fund.”
I blinked up at him. “My parent’s charity.”
“Yup.”
“Why is it your favorite?” I whispered as we walked down the hall, standing a little closer to him.
I couldn’t bear the thought of walking here by myself at night. We were illuminated by the glass sconces on the wall that held orange glowing candles. Each seemed to flicker as we passed. I held onto Logan’s arm.
“I like the idea of helping single mothers around the globe. They’ve funded a lot of small villages in third world countries, giving them opportunities they otherwise wouldn’t be afforded.”
“I used to travel with Mom to a lot of those villages and help out.”
“So you’ve seen the impact firsthand.”
“I have. It’s a cool organization.” I smiled, thinking about it. “I can see why they’d have you take on that task since people want to throw money at you and all that, but what about me? Nobody’s going to throw money at the daughter of one of the richest moguls in the world.”
“Humility becomes you.”
“Shut up. I wouldn’t be vying for $50,000 and working with a secret organization that I know close to nothing about if ultimately, I didn’t want to get out of their shadow.”
“They’ll probably have you writing about specific things in the paper. That’s what they usually do. Did you know the university awarded the first degree in journalism?”
“I did not know that.”
“Yet you came over here as an English major.”
>
“It’s a long story.” I shook my head.
“We have time.” He glanced over at me as he stopped walking, just as we got to the stairs. I stopped with him. “In fact, we have all night.”
I gave him the quick version of the story. When I was finished, I looked up at him to see if he was even listening. I’d talked nonstop and fast, and usually, people tuned me out when I did that.
“So, you are a daddy’s girl,” he said.
“That’s what you gathered from this entire thing?”
“Basically.” He laughed. “I can see why your douchebag ex-boyfriend was so clingy.”
“He’s not clingy.”
“Yeah, maybe clingy isn’t the right word.” He scowled. “Either way, I don’t like him.”
“I noticed.”
“I’m glad you left him.”
I laughed. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“I’m just pointing out that I think you dodged a bullet there,” he said. “You don’t have to say anything at all.”
“A bullet? What makes you say that?”
“I just know what kind of guy he is. He’s not worth your time.”
It was something that someone else would surely say about him, and maybe it was because I was no longer with Travis, but I understood what Logan meant.
“Do you think you’ll settle down?” I snuck a glance at him as we started up the stairs. “Like if you actually found the right person right now, do you think you’d give up your groupies and all of that?”
“Without a doubt.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He laughed. “What’s that face you’re making? You don’t believe me?”
“It’s just . . . you said it without hesitation.”
“When you know, you know.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Why would I jeopardize a solid relationship for a fling?”
“I don’t know. Men do it all the time.” I thought about my father and felt my mood sour again.
“Not all men are the same, you know.”
Half-Truths: New York Times Bestselling Author Page 22