The Midwife's Secret Child

by Fiona McArthur

  He watched her approach, this woman from the past whom he wanted in his future. So beautiful, and he could see she tried hard to be light and calm when he had certainly complicated her serene world.

  ‘Here you are,’ she said quietly. ‘How have you survived the gauntlet of Lighthouse Bay medical community?’

  ‘I have been made most welcome.’

  Someone called out to Finn and Trina. Trina said, ‘See you soon,’ and the couple waved and moved away.

  Raimondo kept his eyes on Faith. ‘Thank you for allowing me to meet your friends.’

  Faith spread her hands. ‘There was a gathering. We do it a lot and you were here.’

  ‘I have made this very confronting for you, have I not?’

  ‘Yes.’ She half laughed when she really wanted to cry. ‘Our past relationship is certainly out there for public consumption. But Chloe did need to know her dad existed so I guess I had hoped this would happen at some time.’

  ‘I am truly sorry I leave tonight.’

  Her green eyes studied him as if to seek the truth of his words. But she didn’t say anything. What could she say?

  He was a fool to leave but he would ensure it didn’t happen again. The more he saw her, the more he needed to know more. He needed to be with her longer to understand the woman Faith had become and rearrange his priorities. But he’d needed to reassure Dominico that he would be there soon. A frisson of fear reminded him he could not delay this trip—he needed to see his brother for himself. And ensure something had been put in place that would keep Dominico safe until he arrived.

  Chloe appeared beside them and snuggled into her mother and yawned. Softly, Faith patted her head. ‘You’re tired, sweetheart.’

  Raimondo shot a glance at his new daughter. Saw her paleness. She had already slept today. ‘Always tired?’

  Why tired?

  Faith met his questioning look. ‘Chloe had a nasty cold two weeks ago and she’s been easily worn out since then. She’s taking vitamins and getting sunshine, and she’s been good about resting.’

  He heard the tiny thread of worry under the light description of illness. Felt his own concern stir. Grow suddenly huge. Had a sudden memory of his brother’s devastation at the loss of his son. No. This would not happen when he had just found them. ‘Has she had blood tests for this?’

  Faith looked down at her daughter. ‘Yesterday morning before preschool. We have an appointment with Uncle Finn on Monday for the results, don’t we, Chloe, before I go to work.’

  Chloe nodded and yawned again. Faith turned the child away from him towards the door. He said very quietly, ‘This is the first you tell me of this?’

  Faith raised her brows at him. ‘Yes. Thank you for your concern. Chloe and I will say our goodbyes inside. You don’t need to come with us. Have a comfortable flight tonight.’

  He bit back an instinctive command it would have been very foolish to issue. Yes, he’d erred in that question, been undiplomatic, but he felt the slap of not having rights and knew it was his own fault. ‘I will come with you now.’

  Faith paused and turned back to him. ‘And if I don’t want you to?’

  He shrugged. ‘I will follow anyway.’

  So he shadowed them and nodded his goodbyes along with Faith and Chloe. Isabel, Raimondo noted, was observant of his presence beside them and chose to leave them to continue their departure unaccompanied.

  No doubt she would have left with her niece if Faith had been alone.

  He truly appreciated her understanding.

  * * *

  While Raimondo waited in the open lounge Faith had ushered Chloe straight to bed.

  As he paced the room for her to come back he considered all that had happened over the last two days, the enormous change to his life and his future plans. That shock of seeing Faith again and her effect on him, the way the world had suddenly opened up in the most marvellous and unexpected way with the confirmation of his being a father.

  But now the bombshell of Chloe’s strange lethargy. All this and he was leaving!

  He needed to plan his return, assess his options for gaining further information on his daughter while he was away. Especially as he’d almost alienated Faith with his stupid accusation of her withholding Chloe’s illness from him.

  So how to approach this new turn sensibly?

  He stared at the photo album lying on the table. The urgency of responsibilities he wanted to share ate at him.

  Firstly, Faith needed to be able to contact him in any emergency. Dios, imagine if something happened to Chloe, something he could help with, and she couldn’t access him. It didn’t bear thinking about.

  Twitching with suppressed urgency, he pulled a business card and a small pen from his wallet and crossed to the table to lean on the surface.

  Faith needed his personal mobile number, though that would help little on the flight. Then he wrote his home number as well on the back of the card. The business number was on the front and Dominico would have set up a temporary phone office at least. He thought again and wrote Dominico’s details down as well.

  Now the numbers he needed. He produced a new card and wrote Faith, Isabel, Finn. He needed the paediatrician’s last name as a contact. By the time he’d made his list Faith had returned.

  ‘She’s asleep.’

  What if his daughter was truly unwell? A surge of panic, a premonition swamped him suddenly, perhaps because he’d seen so much loss and this could not go that way. Unease twisted in his stomach and made his tone more forceful than it should have been. ‘Asleep already?’

  Faith’s brows went up at his doubting tone. ‘As I said. I’m not lying.’

  He pulled himself back. ‘This is not what I mean. I do not doubt you. But her lethargy. What are your thoughts?’

  He watched the lowering of her stiff shoulders as she passed a hand across her brow and sighed and now another emotion swamped him. This was not easy and everything had happened very fast for her—he’d had time to consider the impending reconnection.

  Suddenly he wanted to take her in his arms and console her. Tell her all would be well, as any father would console a mother, but he didn’t have that right. And they didn’t know that.

  ‘Faith, I’m sorry.’ He stepped closer. ‘For everything.’ He put one hand on her arm. ‘You have done everything right and I’m not saying this well.’

  She interrupted him. ‘I’m sure she’s fine.’ She said what they both prayed. ‘We will have the results on Monday and make sure.’

  Yes. Monday. Two days’ time. When he would be over the ocean and thousands of miles away—though he could email from the aircraft if needed. Even telephone if the conditions were right.

  ‘How will I get the results?’ He needed Finn’s number. He reached across and placed the business card in her hand. ‘These contact details allow you to find me any time.’ He handed her the other card.

  ‘Please may I have yours and Finn’s numbers? And perhaps Isabel if I cannot contact you?’ Had that come out too abruptly?

  She looked at him. Cocked her head at his insistent tone. ‘I will give you the house telephone number, and my mobile,’ she said slowly. ‘But I would prefer to share Chloe’s results with you myself rather than have you contact Finn.’

  More delay. ‘That is not acceptable to me.’

  Her hand brushed her face again. ‘Let me think.’

  He lifted his chin. ‘Fine. There is no need. I will find out for myself. It is no secret where we are and who the paediatrician in this town is.’ He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘So. Is this the real Raimondo Salvanelli? Are you trying to intimidate me? In my own home?’

  ‘That is not my intention.’ Impatience was still in his tone and he tried to rein it back. He could not lose Chloe now.

&nbs
p; ‘Isn’t it? Then why are you ordering me around? Laying down laws? You have no say over me.’

  He lifted his chin at her. ‘My daughter may be unwell and I will not be told at your convenience.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘Chloe is my daughter and I will let you know the result of the test when I get it.’ Her voice held warning and again he saw she was not the diffident girl he’d met nearly six years ago.

  ‘Though—’ here a flash of unusual anger in her eyes ‘—of course you can go behind my back and source them from Finn.’

  ‘Stop.’ He held up his hand. How had it come to this? His fault. Doing this wrong. ‘You are right.’ He ran his hands through his hair, almost pulling it free from its roots. ‘My fault. We are friends. Were once more. Your kindness has astounded me and I repay you with this impatience. My apologies.’ He touched her arm. ‘Forgive me.’

  When she looked at him he could see the shimmer of distress, and possibly fear for her daughter, in her eyes and it pierced him with an arrow of protective instinct that surged from his very soul.

  Of course she was terrified that Chloe was unwell.

  Of course he wasn’t helping by being demanding.

  Unable to stop himself, he reached out and very slowly, very surely, he drew her against his chest into what he hoped was a comforting embrace. He needed to reassure her he cared.

  ‘I want to be here for you and Chloe.’

  ‘What if when you leave you become caught up in your other life again?’ Her voice was so uncertain it stabbed him. ‘What if I have to tell Chloe you’ve forgotten her, like you forgot me?’

  It stabbed him again. ‘I never forgot you. You have always been a part of a shining star which went home with me nearly six years ago and I tucked that star into my heart and never forgot you.’

  She shook her head against him. ‘I find that hard to believe.’ Her voice was very soft.

  ‘I’m not surprised.’ He stroked her hair. ‘But it is true.’

  His fingers continued to stroke her silky head as she laid her cheek against him, not pulling back as he’d feared she would, and he remembered the feel of her against him from so long ago. The kiss of earlier. The feel of her skin under his fingers triggering memories and transporting him. Her scent was so sweet, her smooth flesh so right in his arms. Perfect.

  Too perfect not to act on. His grip tightened with one arm and with the other hand, so slowly, he tilted her chin upwards.

  ‘What if I said when I come back I will never leave you and our daughter again?’

  Now he could look down into her face. He waited for her answer as he lost himself in the green pools of her siren’s eyes. Could not resist the stretch of his thumb to so gently trace the soft, trembling curve of her pink lips. So beautiful.

  ‘No answer?’

  A shake of her head. ‘How can I believe that?’

  ‘When I come back I will convince you. For now I must do this task for my brother and tie up some ends that need to be complete. For the moment, begin to trust. At least try.’

  ‘I’ll try.’

  As her body softened against his he too loosened the bands of the restraint that had been crushing him and lowered his head. Their breath mingled and their mouths touched and finally, after so long being lost, he found the one place for him that was home.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  RAIMONDO’S MOUTH AGAINST hers felt like a homecoming. Her arms wrapped around him. How had she spent so long without this in her life? How had she spent so long without this man in her life?

  That scent of Raimondo against her, something she remembered from the last time they’d kissed, the warmth of his whisper on her cheek as he brushed her face with light kisses before returning to her mouth. The heat in his lips as he gently nudged his tongue against hers and she opened her mouth to him.

  Her knees wobbled as he drew her into him and all Faith could do was close her eyes and hang on.

  It was just a kiss. Again.

  And another kiss. So, with each gentle probe or tender stroke, she forgot more of the world outside his embrace. Took comfort from the craziness of the last few days of turmoil in the last place she’d expected to find shelter from the fear in her heart.

  Her hands left his waist to splay against his solid upper body and then curled into his shirt, straining him closer. Her breasts pushed almost painfully into his chest and through their clothes the heat between their skin built into a slow cauldron of need that swirled in on itself, creating a whirlpool of desire drawing her deeper. It had been so long since she’d felt a strong man’s arms about her. So long since Raimondo had taught her the secrets of this place. Too long if she responded like this.

  From just a kiss.

  Faith dragged her mouth reluctantly from his and searched his face. His beautiful eyes. Saw the aroused darkness of desire and promise to transport them both to a place she’d almost forgotten existed. A wisp of fear curled around her. She wasn’t sure she could survive from revisiting the magic if he walked away afterwards and never came back.

  ‘Should we do this?’

  ‘Should we not?’ His voice as bemused as hers.

  ‘What is this between us?’

  ‘Destiny. Tonight I will be gone, but I will be back.’

  A cold tendril of foreboding touched her with a chill.

  Abruptly it hit her that accidents happened, aeroplanes crashed, moments were to be grasped. Fleeting opportunities to be loved by someone were like clouds that you reached for in the sky and suddenly she didn’t want this ray of hope for the future to pass without grasping the possibilities. If something happened to Raimondo now, how would she survive if she knew she could have had this?

  ‘Make love to me before you go.’

  Raimondo’s eyes darkened even more and bored into hers. ‘My most burning desire.’

  ‘Please.’ The word floated from her mouth in a whisper, barely heard, barely believable, and yet brazenly sure. She needed to feel his arms around her one more time before he left because inside she still wasn’t sure Raimondo would ever be back and, regardless of the pain to come, she wanted this from him.

  The ground disappeared from beneath her feet as he swept her up, carried her tenderly, and she rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart to drown out the voices clamouring in her head.

  With infinite care he lowered her to the bed and joined her.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ON SUNDAY MORNING, twelve hours after he’d left, Faith lay on the same crumpled bed where she had made love with Raimondo and stared at the fluffy clouds passing in the small gap in the curtains, not seeing them. What she saw was a glorious, tumultuous storm of reconnection, the gentle whispers, the tender caresses—all the reasons they had both been crazy before—the memories now returned to heat her cheeks and make her draw her arms to cradle her stomach as she mourned the loss of Raimondo beside her.

  Put simply, wrapped together they made magic.

  So she couldn’t regret the pure joy of it or the risk to her heart in the making. But where would it end? She had given herself to him before he’d left, their mutual need overcoming their reserve, perhaps each seeking the reassurance holding the other would give. But it had been more. It had been everything they’d found before, with greater poignancy because of the past mistakes he’d made. Their combined worry for Chloe, the risk to the family that was so close to being possible. She saw that it had been hard for him to tear himself away, hard for him to look one last brief time at his sleeping daughter, and she didn’t doubt that it would be hard to drive from Lighthouse Bay and catch a plane.

  It had been a few days of craziness again.

  The upheaval to her life that ridiculously gorgeous Italian man could create in forty-eight action-packed hours. He’d better come back. At least she was sure she was covered for contraception t
his time.

  But he would be back. He’d promised. Chloe would have a dad. And Faith? What would she have?

  She shifted to sit up. That way madness lies... She couldn’t imagine yet.

  Now, it was the morning of Chloe’s birthday and the sun crept fingers of soft yellow up the wall of her bedroom so she should rise and try to ease the new memories Raimondo had created back into her secret place for later. It was going to be a beautiful November day for a children’s party.

  How fast those five years had flown since her baby had been born—and hadn’t their lives been blessed with the joy of Chloe.

  She wondered what the next five years would bring. Which drew her thoughts back to Raimondo.

  To their kiss. And the progression from there.

  Of course he stayed on her mind.

  He would still be over the ocean on his flight, barely halfway to Italy, soon to land in Singapore. So no call had come yet for Chloe on her birthday. She would not think he had already relegated them to the back of his businessman’s brain as the drama in Italy came closer. And was it so bad if he did; he’d said he needed to tie ends, sort out his many commitments before he could come back. He’d said he would be back—it was a shame a part of her didn’t believe him. But that was for later.

  She didn’t care if he came back without his possessions. Wealth and assets did not have the same importance in her own life.

  Though, she supposed, now she would have to be more vigilant for Chloe to appreciate both sides of the financial coin if her father persisted in spoiling her with extravagant gifts.

  Her daughter would not be spoiled by a rich man’s whims. A little voice whispered that perhaps she was being harsh. She didn’t want to listen. She’d been so darned unsettled since he’d arrived and even more unsettled since he’d left. Not surprising. Making love with Raimondo before he’d left had been an incredibly stupid, and incredibly wonderful, thing to do. It wasn’t fair.