by L. A. Grant
Sheer instinct and honor forced me to throw my spear straight into the boar’s flank. The boar screamed, stood up on its hind legs and collapsed, bringing down an entire wall with it.
“Is he dead?” Lance asked, grinning sheepishly and dusting off his clothes.
“Next time, do as I say.” I grabbed my spear out of the boar, and checked for a pulse. “Not dead,” I said, turning dark eyes to Lance. “Think you can handle finishing him off?”
Lance shrugged, expertly turning his thin blade in his hand, aiming for a killing blow through the downed animal’s eye. Just then, a scream caught our attention.
“The girl,” Hayden swore under his breath. My heart raced as I ran back toward her, unable to resist the call of the beacon. None of us could. Even Lance abandoned the killing blow in favor of saving this perfect stranger.
We stormed outside the old mall, to find the woman wrapped tightly in the coils of the boa, still holding the falcon in her arms. She seemed more concerned about saving Wane than herself.
“Let her go, you snake,” Hayden growled, taking a step toward her.
Come closer and I’ll pour so much venom into her you’ll never even know why she activated the beacon.
“You wouldn’t dare,” I whispered.
But I wasn’t sure enough to follow through with an attack.
12
Arlena
The snake tightened its grip around my legs and up my torso, squeezing the breath out of me as it stood off against the three armed men.
I held Wane over my head and cringed as I threw him away as the snake coiled higher, around my breasts, teeth dripping venom.
“Don’t hurt them,” I whispered.
Why do you care? Mordred’s voice mocked me.
I didn’t know. I didn’t know why I cared, except that I wanted them to live. More than I wanted to live myself. Was it because someone had been willing to help me for the first time in my life? Or was it because I knew I was dead, and I might as well do a bit of good before I went?
My life flashed by in a blur, a minefield of disappointments in myself and others.
I’m going to take her now, the snake said so we could all hear. Do anything, and I will kill her instead.
“Lance,” I heard one of the men growl.
Then the snake tightened its hold on me and began dragging me away. Its coils crushed my lungs.
As I struggled to breathe, I was glad that at least my death would prove memorable, where my life had been so painfully forgettable.
13
Lance
The girl passed out, her red hair like a halo of blood as Mordred began dragging her away, a prize for a coward.
I had no idea why this girl was the beacon, but she seemed so familiar to me that it made me ache. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her - of him having his scales or hands on her. I needed to save her. And I knew Percy and Hayden felt the same, despite Percival’s hesitation to act.
I respected Percival as a leader, but not as my leader. I’d followed only one man, until I’d betrayed him.
Maybe I just wasn’t great at teamwork. But I was the guy who did the jobs nobody else wanted to do. Who shouldered the guilt and the honor of an entire kingdom, a fine line that could only lead to failure.
And it had.
Spectacularly.
Percy hesitated, his entire body vibrating with the need to do something.
Fuck it.
I grabbed his spear and threw it before he could stop me, hitting the snake right in its core.
“Lance!” Percy turned to me, red-faced, but I didn’t bother responding, running toward the snake and the girl, instead. Mordred vanished down a sewer grate. The girl was still unconscious, except now she was also bleeding.
I’d hit her, too.
I fell to my knees, blood draining from my limbs. Percy joined me, gave me a look of death, and pressed against the wound to stop her from losing too much blood.
“Boar’s gone, too,” Hayden said as he joined us. He looked down at the girl, then at me, his height even more impressive while I was kneeling at his feet. His usually laid-back demeanor shot through with anger as he knelt by me to examine the wound and begin treating her.
“Nice throw, Lancelot,” The words were soft, but they struck me like a slap.
He was right. I’d disobeyed Percival. And I might have killed the girl we’d apparently been sent to find.
Why could I never just do the right thing?
14
Arlena
Dreams jumbled around in my head, a kaleidoscope of memories, swirling with the darkness that gripped my entire life, as crushing as the snake had been. Growing up from foster home to foster home, until finally being adopted by the Hopesmyers when I was thirteen. I hadn’t been their daughter, not really. More like a free babysitter for their bratty son.
Always working, always fighting to get even the smallest leeway, and then as the convenient target to blame when that son had failed in life. When he’d ended up on drugs. When he’d failed at getting his acting career off the ground.
My mother and father’s voices haunted me, broken sentences pounding in my head.
“Arlena you’re such a disappointment.”
“Why would we pay for college when you’ll never become anything anyway?”
“Your brother had every chance until you came into this house!”
“You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to this family, you cursed child!”
I cried as something jostled me and pain lanced through my side, the memories clutching to my fevered brow.
“You’ll be okay,” a familiar voice rumbled. “The road is just a bit rough on this patch.”
I opened my eyes to bleak light, the sun cut by trees through a car window. I was lying down. Near me sat Hayden, gently holding a cold compress against my forehead.
“You’ll be okay,” he repeated as I blinked slowly. My mouth was so dry. He seemed to sense it and brought water to my lips, holding my head up gently so that I could drink. The water seemed to be laced with something sweet tasting. His hands were big. Like a bear, willing to keep me safe as one of his own.
“Thank you,” I whispered, then began to drift away, just as the car came to a stop and the doors opened.
“Sleep will heal you,” Hayden said, and the herbs he’d put in the waters started to do their trick. I was out before they lifted me out of the car.
15
Percy
I waited in silence with Lance, not caring to address him right now. He’d been shaken when he struck the girl.
Good. Maybe he’d actually learn this lesson and spare me wasting more breath.
Wane made small noises from the basket where we’d placed him. Hayden had done all he could for him, but he’d been gravely wounded. Shifting back to human might heal his wounds, but he seemed too delirious to shift back.
“Will he make it?” Lance asked, looking with concern at the basket. I almost snapped at him, but bit back my tongue. Lance and Wane had been good friends, once. Those feelings couldn’t easily be dismissed. And I was their leader. It was my job to rise above my own desire to hurt Lance.
Why did you do this to me, Merlin?
“I don’t know,” I said softly. Lance looked at me with some surprise. I supposed I did yell at him more than not, and the softer tone was out of place. He grew paler at my tone, as though it had brought home the seriousness of Wane’s condition.
“We’ll do everything we can,” I added for good measure. Lance studied me for a few moments, and then nodded and went back to brooding. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. This old cottage had been a good hideout while we followed the beacon, but we’d have to hit the road at first light, if the girl could travel.
I glanced at the feathers sticking out of the basket. Moving tomorrow would mean erasing any chance Wane had of survival. But I couldn’t risk the girl. Whoever she’d once been – she was now the beacon. I could leave Hayden to tre
at Wane, but if we were attacked again by both Bors the dreaded boar and Mordred, we needed all of our fighters to keep the girl safe.
Damn it.
I hated this part. Selecting who got to live and who was left to die.
But someone had to make those decisions.
I just wished someone else would make them for a while. Something that wouldn’t happen unless the king returned, which seemed less and less likely with each passing day.
16
Hayden
I left the girl to sleep, confident she’d be better after a good night’s rest. We’d been careful when escaping, taking a circuitous route back to the cottage. Mordred and Bors shouldn’t find us easily. But that didn’t mean they wouldn’t find us.
There would be little sleep this night.
I stepped back into the kitchen, where Lance and Percy both brooded in their respective corners. They were more similar than they cared to admit, those two. Lance just took way more chances than Percy. Too many for my liking, but then again, I preferred defense over offense.
They both looked at me, a question in their eyes.
“She should be good to travel by daybreak,” I said, and walked over to Wane. Lance looked relieved at the answer. Percy looked momentarily grief-stricken, but he hid it as quickly as it had flashed across his face.
Maybe they were fairly different, after all. Percy understood that leaving by morning meant sacrificing any chance Wane had of surviving. I gently folded some of his feathers back down. A wing had been broken, and both his legs. Ribs had been crushed, and I was pretty sure he had a bad concussion, maybe a skull fracture.
If he shifted back, he would heal partway, if not entirely. But he was too damaged to shift back, too hurt, and I couldn’t trigger that response in his body. I had many herbs from the shrines of Avalon, but none that could affect a warrior that way.
Percy stood beside me, looking down at Wane.
“There’s nothing I can do for him,” I said gently, so that Lance wouldn’t overhear. “We take him with us in the morning. We’ll be able to bury him on the sacred hills of Avalon, at least.”
It hurt to speak of my still breathing friend like a corpse, but I couldn’t hide from the truth. I’d chosen to become a healer, and part of saving lives also meant knowing when to just make someone comfortable in their final moments. Percy swallowed hard and nodded. I placed a hand on his arm and squeezed. He was a good leader faced with impossible decisions. Lance would fight us on it, would try to do everything to save Wane. It was a good trait in some circumstances. This was not one of them.
We all had to learn to let go, at one point or another.
Before Lance wandered over, I headed over to him with full intent of distracting him as Percy wrapped his mind, and more importantly his heart, around the tough decision he would have to make.
“So,” I sat down across from Lance. His green eyes, partly covered by his wild hair, focused on me. “Who do you think this girl is?”
17
Lance
I knew exactly who I hoped the girl was, but didn’t want to say it lest Percy decide to hit me. Or to trust me even less, if that were even possible.
“I have no clue,” I shrugged, trying to appear disinterested.
“Why would Merlin bind us to someone other than King Arthur?” Hayden asked, ignoring my feigned disinterest. “I mean, this is why we’re all here, right? To protect our returned king?”
Percy still stood near Wane. I knew what he was doing, and what Hayden was doing. I just chose not to interfere. Oh, I really wanted to. I fought against the urge to scream at them both for giving up on Wane so easily. Sure, Wane was badly hurt, but he’d survived through worse. If he could just shift, he’d be okay.
My throat tightened and I swallowed hard. Wane wouldn’t be able to shift. Not with those injuries. Hayden had the kindest heart of us all, which was probably why he’d bothered learning how to heal, where the rest of us just mastered weapon after weapon. And he’d chosen the shield as his main weapon, to protect us.
If Hayden thought we couldn’t save Wane…I lowered my head so he wouldn’t see the tears gathering in my eyes. I doubted I fooled him, but he kept going, buying both Percy and I the time we needed to settle our emotions while refusing to let us fester in uncomfortable, smothering silence.
“Could it be that she too is one of us?”
I looked up, raising an eyebrow. “You think she’s a knight of the Round Table?”
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “I mean, we’ve had women there before, even if none of the stories cared to remember them.” He shook his head then muttered under his breath, “fucking patriarchy.”
I grinned. Hayden hated most things that hurt people, and this reborn Galahad was even more chivalrous than his last incarnation. Still, he’d been a knight in a medieval court that hadn’t been super forward-thinking at the time. Though we did protect the poor and innocent as best we could.
“I don’t think so,” Percy said, joining us. He looked like he’d gained ten years in the past few moments. “I mean, none of us feel a bond toward one another,” he said it casually, but I knew it was meant for me. My muscles tensed again.
Hayden continued, as though no one had said anything.
“The more likely explanation is that Merlin bonded us not just to King Arthur.”
We both looked at him, waiting for him to continue. I wanted him to speak the words. I needed to hear him say it, to utter to life what my heart and soul desired.
“I think,” he continued softly, looking at a point on the table rather than meeting our eyes, “that for some reason, Merlin has also bound us to Arthur’s queen.” I closed my eyes, let the rest of his words flow over me like the balm I hadn’t even realized I’d needed.
“I think that’s Queen Gwenhwyfar, come back for untold reasons. And it seems to be our duty to keep her safe, as we would have our king.”
Gwenhwyfar.
The name wrapped itself around my heart and, for the first time since being reborn twenty-seven years ago, I finally felt alive.
18
Arlena
Voices rumbled in the distance as I woke up to a mostly dark room. A candle burned near my bed, giving off a comforting glow.
Water. I found a glass near the candle and attempted to sit up. My side barely hurt now. My head still swam a bit from the herbs, but overall, I felt refreshed and revitalized.
The room smelled of cedar, and cicadas chirped in the darkness beyond the window. I slowly stood up and found my feet fairly strong beneath me. My jacket was draped across a chair, with my socks, boots, and pants.
So much for modesty.
I didn’t even care. I pulled up my tank top to see the bandage on my side. My skin didn’t even feel warm.
I wasn’t that tired anymore, but I was hungry. Not to mention full of questions. I slipped on my pants and opened the door quietly. Men argued just down the corridor, trying to whisper but failing at it.
“Why would the queen come back?”
“Why not? Why the king and not the queen, Percy?” the deeper voice I knew to be Hayden’s. I stopped in the darkness of the corridor, not willing to cross into the kitchen just yet. I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but this was my life they were talking about, I was pretty sure. And I couldn’t trust that they would keep talking if I just strolled in there.
“Because the king is tied to land and prophecy, Hayden,” I assumed it was Percy who answered. He had a sharp voice, used to giving commands. And being listened to. “The queen didn’t even stay in Camelot! Don’t speak your opinion, Lance,” a threat laced his words.
“If it is Gwenhwyfar,” Lance said, ignoring Percy’s words. I could feel him seething from here, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Then she deserves our protection as much as Arthur would.”
“She betrayed the king,” Percy said, and the smile vanished from my lips, my heart skipping a couple of beats. “She helped bring the downfall of Camelot.”
> “She did no such thing,” Lance’s voice lacked conviction.
“Maybe we should back away from this theory for now,” Hayden suggested.
“How would you know what her departure brought about,” Percy hissed, ignoring Hayden. “You weren’t even there!”
“Or we could push through to the unavoidable fight, I suppose,” Hayden sighed.
Percy continued. “You were off galivanting with someone else’s wife!”
A chair pushed away from the table and slammed to the ground, followed by a weak squawk.
Wane! Forgetting all stealth, I walked into the room, my entire body warm not with fever, but with the desire to help Wane. He’d sacrificed himself for me. He’d taken the blow for my sake.
I couldn’t let him die.
I walked into the room where the three men had dropped their argument to check on Wane, standing around a small basket on a coffee table.
Percy was the first to see me, his look switching from annoyance to surprise in an instant. Hayden and Lance each looked toward me, as though sensing me there. I stopped and looked at them one at a time. I knew them, or a part of me knew them. Their hearts were good, if sometimes led astray.
And I knew I could trust them, no matter what worries dwelled in their hearts.
19
Percy
I didn’t want her to be Gwenhwyfar, because I didn’t want to be bound to a queen who had left her king in his time of greatest need, taking his best knight, Lancelot, with her.
Her departure had robbed Arthur of his spark and his desire to rule the land. And with that loss, the realm had suffered, even the trees refusing to blossom as the land’s king had slowly wasted away from grief. He’d only lit up when he practiced with us knights, or sat with us at the Round Table, but those times became farther and farther in between.