by Alta Hensley
He stood up and wrung his hands together. "Very well. Let me help you undress and get into the bath."
Cinder's sobs stopped, and she glanced up at him. "Thank you," she whispered.
Silently, he stood her up and untied her soiled silk. She hadn't realized how filthy she truly was until that moment. She should have been embarrassed at her state of condition, but all she could feel was a sense of security.
Donte removed her clothing, baring her completely. He pulled her gently and assisted her balance as she stepped into the bath. His hands gently grasped her shoulders, lowering her down into the steaming water.
She let out a soft sigh when the water warmed the stiffness right out of her.
"Cinder," he said, so quietly she almost didn't hear him. "I am so sorry for everything you have been through. I take full responsibility. If I could take away all your fear, I would."
She allowed the remaining tears to silently fall down her face as Donte washed her hair. She needed to cry it all out. She needed to feel vulnerable, she needed to allow all her fear to surface. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be the courageous fighter in battle, but at this moment in time, she was just a scared little girl.
Donte reached for a sponge and began washing her back, her shoulders, and then he gently placed the sponge to her face. He looked her in the eyes as he washed the tears from her cheeks.
"This won’t be the last of our story. I swear you this."
The pain on his face pulled at her heart. She knew he meant it. But she didn't know if what he said was possible. All she could do was whisper, "Promise?"
He nodded with a soft smile. He leaned in and gently kissed the tip of her nose. "I promise."
Donte stood up and carefully assisted her out of the bath, dried her off and wrapped her in a large towel. He escorted her to the other room, closing the bathroom door behind them.
"I’m going to take you to my quarters to stay with me. Is that all right with you?"
"I don't want to be a burden to you. I'm sure you have your hands full with everything. The last thing you need right now is to be babysitting me." She tried to walk away, but her legs began to wobble, and she reached out for him to steady herself.
He quickly supported her weight. "You’re exhausted, and you need to be watched over." He helped guide her to the hallway, where a worried Elbi stood with some others from the harem. "Will you ladies gather some fresh silks and overnight supplies for Cinder? She’ll be residing in my quarters until further notice."
A relief washed over Cinder that almost set her heart rate at normal pace. Donte's take-charge attitude was the only thing making her feel like she wasn't drowning in a sea of terror. She glanced at Elbi, and suddenly felt guilty for making her friend worry so much. She bowed her head in shame and allowed her damp hair to cascade forward around her face, forming a curtain of disguise.
When Elbi left and the other girls followed, he tilted her face so she had no choice but to look into his eyes. He brushed her hair away from her face and said, "I will never allow you to have another panic attack. I will never allow you to feel such fear. I will be here. Trust in that."
"Everyone else can handle it. No one else is panicking. I'm the weak link and simply holding you, and everyone around me, down. I feel so ashamed."
"There is no shame in truth, Cinder. You only express the truth that every single person at Casen is feeling. Everyone is afraid. We are all scared. Just because you are the most honest person here, does not mean you are the weakest." Donte wrapped his arm around her body and pulled her close to him as he guided her down the hallway. "With a little rest, you’ll be ready to face your truth head on."
23
Night had fallen when her eyes finally fluttered open, the smell of roasting meat catching her attention first, followed by something soft beneath her. She looked around, her eyes adjusting to the flickering candlelight after a moment, and as they did acclimate, she realized she had been carried to Donte's bedroom. The bed beneath her was covered with a fur-lined blanket, which was brightly colored, and warm. She stretched only a small bit before pushing herself up, combing her fingers through her hair and scrubbing the dried tears from her eyes. It smelled like him, the bed; a fragrance that set her soul at ease but her heart aflutter. She blushed at the thought of what they could do in this bed, but reminded herself that there was no shame in it, since he was, after all, Donte of Lazar.
Standing up, she straightened the blanket and pillows beneath her on the bed before she found her way back out into the other room, where a fire burned and a pot bubbled away, full of some thick stew. She was surprised, as she didn't know many men who could cook anything, let alone what she saw over the fire. She found a large wooden spoon and gave the pot a stir before she found a towel and pulled a pan of biscuits off, setting them carefully on the table. She looked around the little place, which clearly had only those two rooms. Still, it was well-built, and neatly kept, save for some dust, which she expected was impossible to keep out. It was nowhere near as impressive as the accommodations of the Palace of Lazar, but it was still cozy and welcoming. Elegance and opulence were replaced by quaint and inviting.
The only thing missing was Donte. As if the thought had drawn him in, the door opened and swung closed as the handsome man stepped in, carrying an armful of freshly split firewood. He paused when he saw that she was awake before putting the wood near the fire, turning to look at her in silence for a moment before he spoke, at last.
"Did you sleep well?"
She nodded gently, fidgeting with the edge of her silk. "Yes, thank you."
"How are you feeling? Has all the tightness in your chest gone away?"
"It has." She thought for a moment, chewing her lip, before she added, "I'm sorry to be such a burden. I feel much better, and can join the rest of the harem now."
He paused a moment, nodding slowly. "If that is what you truly want." Then he crossed the room and cupped his hands on both sides of her face. "But is it truly what you want?"
She tried to turn her head away, but he held it firmly in place. Averting her eyes, she said, "I don’t want to make my problems yours."
"Look at me," he commanded.
She did as he directed.
With his hands still cupped on her face, he asked, "Do you want to stay with me? Or do you want to join the harem?"
"I feel safer with you."
"Then the decision is made. You’ll stay with me until we return to Lazar."
"The entire time?" His declaration surprised her. She didn't know what to make of it.
He smiled, his eyes reflecting the firelight, the flames dancing in them. "Yes, the entire time." He let go of her face and turned toward the meal, stirring as he spoke. "My quarters are small, but secure. As long as I’m here, you are protected. And when I am not here, I’ll make sure you are still protected." He turned to look at her with another reassuring smile. "I promised you that you would always feel safe. I plan to honor my word."
There was an awkward silence between them, neither seeming to know what to say. He was the first to break it, moving to gather a couple of plates so they could have dinner. "I would like you to continue to train with Nico and his men during the day. He has assured me that he will keep his tales to a limit from now on." Donte smirked and gave her a playful wink.
She nodded. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry I ran out like that. I really made a fool of myself. Here, let me," she went on, moving to stand in front of the fire, taking the plates from him. She didn't like standing around doing nothing the whole time while he was on his feet; it didn't feel right to her.
He relinquished the plates and instead took a seat at the table, reaching up and rubbing at the back of his neck. "I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself in such a manner again. You are not a fool. Fools are people who have no fear at all. Fools are people who don’t approach life with caution. Fools are people who confuse bravery with thoughtlessness. You, Cinder, are not a fool."
Placin
g both the plates, now filled with food, onto the table and sitting down across from him, she frowned. "What will people say about me staying with you? It’s not the way of the harem."
He shook his head, picking up his spoon and shoveling a mouthful of vegetables in before he continued. "The ways of the harem will need to adapt."
"What about the rest of the women? Where will they stay?"
He paused from eating and studied her face in silence for several moments. "The rest of the women will be housed in the main building, under intense security. They’ll train every day just as you will. Which leads me to my next discussion." He motioned for her to start eating, which she quickly did. "You are to go nowhere without my permission."
She swallowed the bite of delicious, savory meat and nodded. She knew better than to argue, although she was slightly curious as to why.
"When you are with me, it is my responsibility to protect you. The majority of the soldiers are guarding the women in the main building. Therefore, you are to remain by my side until I hand you over to training with Nico. I will then pick you up at the day's end, and you’ll return to my quarters. You are never to leave, or wander without me. Understood?"
Up until now, he'd been very gentle with her since her panic attack, his voice soft, understanding. These harsh tones concerned her greatly, and she wasn't sure how to react to them. "I… Yes. I understand." She wasn't sure why he was so adamant, but she hoped he didn't plan on keeping her locked up inside his quarters all the time.
He nodded, tucking into his meal and falling silent for the moment. That silence seemed to stretch, unending, between them like an ever-deepening chasm. He finished his meal after several minutes and leaned back, rubbing his hand over his chest with a yawn. "I suppose it's time we get some sleep. You’ve been through a lot today, and more training is ahead for tomorrow."
She quickly stood up and cleared the dishes. "Oh, I see…" She thought for a moment, unsure if she was supposed to follow him, or if she should stay awake and get better acquainted with her new home. "Would you like me to come with you?" She wasn't sure what was expected of her. The rules had changed, but was she still expected to perform harem duties?
He paused at the question for a moment. "Yes, I would," he answered finally, standing and holding his hand out to her as he came around the table, a sweet smile on his face.
Her heart melted when she saw the gentle way he looked at her, the kindness in his blue eyes. He truly was a handsome man. She laid her hand in his and let him lead her back into the bedroom where she'd recently awakened.
He closed the door behind him and, leaving her to linger there, moved to sit on the bed and pull off his boots. His shirt was unbuttoned, tossed aside, as well as his socks. She noticed, however, that he didn't remove all of his clothes.
Cinder walked over to the bed and turned down the covers for him, sitting down for a moment to pull off her own shoes, and finally her silks, until she sat completely nude. Nothing out of the ordinary for a harem girl, but somehow it felt different now. She blushed a bit as she climbed into the bed, tugging the covers up over herself and taking a deep breath. Any art of seduction training had been thrown out the window. She had no idea what to do. She reminded herself that she was his now, and that if he wanted something from her… well, it was her place to give it to him. Her training had prepared her for this, or at least it was supposed to.
He blew the candle out, turning to face her as he lay down and pulled the blanket up. He slid a little closer, until she could feel the warmth of his body. His hand moved around her waist, gently pulling her closer so her back was pressed against his chest, his arm over her.
She shivered when he held her like that. It felt so warm, so nice. She knew he would be gentle, firm, but kind with her. She could sense something in the way he held her, so protectively, that he would never do her harm.
She waited for the next move.
When none followed, she wondered if she was the one supposed to make the move. Her question was soon answered by the heavy breathing of Donte against the back of her head. Taking a moment to relish the weight of his sleeping body pressed against hers, she eventually closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep, tightly wrapped in his arms as the moon slowly sank and gave way to the sun.
The desert, through the bedroom window, was beautiful in the sunrise, casting its glow over the earth from its fiery throne in the sky. Like a great burning eye in the heavens, it watched over those below, giving life to all under its rule.
When Cinder fully awoke, she found an empty space beside her. It took her a few moments to remember the events of the previous day, to remember how she'd ended up in Donte's bed. How warm he was, how soft, how protective… She bolted upright, immediately stricken with a deep fear that something had happened to him, however irrational it might have been.
She jumped from the bed and ran into the other room, her heart pounding when she did not see him there either. The fire roared behind her, a skillet sizzled with eggs and the smell of biscuits greeted her nose. The door opened and he stepped in, momentarily silhouetted by the sunlight, which cast a halo about his head like some angelic figure. Cinder relaxed somewhat, wondering what she must look like, standing there wide-eyed and naked. She was so quick to jump the gun, to let her mind wander to the worst of possibilities.
"Good morning," Donte greeted, granting her a wide smile that made her heart skip a little beat. He scanned her body and said, "We have a busy day ahead. Go get dressed and come have some breakfast. I’ll then escort you to training."
24
The hot afternoon sun began to bake the courtyard, and the women were growing both physically and mentally exhausted with their lesson. Even the men had soaked through their uniforms with sweat, and though they did not let on that they were frustrated with what little progress the harem had made, Cinder, between her attempts at jabbing her soldier and breaking free of his grasp, could sense their growing impatience.
Mistress Tula, Mistress Krin, and Mistress Lana also looked less than pleased as they sat in a shadowy part of the courtyard, watching them all with scrutiny. Why the three sisters weren’t expected to train, Cinder didn't know. But she hated the way the women watched her.
"I cannot do any more of this today," Elbi said, and she stepped away from her trainer immediately. "I don’t feel well."
"All right, ladies. That’s enough for today," Nico gave in.
The women let out a collective breath and began to walk their glistening bodies and damp heads of hair out of the courtyard. All of them were bedraggled. They were also emotionally spent.
Cinder hung back. She watched Elbi stretch her aching back, and believed she could see her crying. The soldiers were now on the far side of the courtyard, standing in the shade of an old date palm and chatting to each other. Cinder walked over to Elbi and touched the small of her back.
"Elbi, are you sick? What's wrong?" she asked, her brow furrowed in genuine concern.
Elbi cast her eyes down to her feet and shook her head with a mixture of agony and anger.
"I'm not sick. I'm just tired of waking up and preparing for war, then having nightmares about war, then waking up and starting the whole cycle again." Her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat, but she still exuded a beauty that made Cinder jealous. "I overhear the soldiers talking and what they say is terrifying."
Cinder's heart stopped. "What… what do they say?"
Elbi opened her mouth to tell her and then shook her head. She began to whip around and walk away, but Cinder deftly snatched her wrist and pulled her back.
The soldiers had noticed the exchange all at once and looked curiously over at the two women. Nico pardoned himself and walked over to them. "Is there a problem, ladies?" he asked.
Somewhat ashamed, Cinder felt her cheeks brighten and she let go of Elbi's wrist. Though she was embarrassed, she knew that Elbi would open up to her eventually. She would get her alone, and she would find out what was really in store for them.
"Let me handle this," Mistress Tula said as she came up from behind. "It’s my job to oversee the harem's behavior and well-being. If Elbi is ill, I shall attend to her."
Elbi quickly shook her head. "I'm not ill. I just—"
"You had the training stopped because you declared you were ill." Mistress Tula grabbed Elbi's arm and started to pull her toward the main building. "Come with me." She paused and looked over her shoulder. "Cinder, I think you should come as well. I want to make sure you have not caught anything from your friend."
She followed Mistress Tula—albeit reluctantly—to the main building. This wasn't going to end well; Cinder knew that much.
As they entered the living quarters, Mistress Tula ordered, "Remove your silks, find a corner and kneel in it. I’ll return in a moment."
The women gave each other a knowing look. Both quickly removed their clothing, as ordered, and kneeled in separate corners, as close together as possible so they could still converse.
"Where do you think she went?" Cinder whispered, feeling the cooler air of the room against her naked skin.
"I don't know. But I don't have a good feeling about this."
The door opened and Cinder could hear Mistress Tula dragging something into the room. It sounded heavy and bulky by the way the woman was huffing and puffing. Cinder wanted to turn around, but didn't dare. She had been on too many receiving ends of Mistress Tula's wrath. So instead, she pressed her nose closer to the dusty corner. She hoped Mistress Tula would appreciate her compliant, good girl behavior.
Goosebumps covered her skin as a chill worked up Cinder's spine. Part of it was the temperature of the barren room, and the other part was in anticipation of what was to come.
"Elbi, come over here and lie on the table. Put your feet in the stirrups. Cinder, you can come over and watch while you wait your turn."
As they turned from their corner, Cinder saw that Mistress Tula had brought in an exam table and a tray of tools.