FAT PAT
A short story by
R. Bromfield
Copyright © 2011 R. Bromfield
Smashwords Edition
School starts tomorrow so my big sister Patricia has locked herself in her room and isn't coming out because she says she's fat.
In fact, it looks like she won't go to school ever any more. Mom's talking to her all the time through the door but she's not going to budge. She has a chair wedged under the handle and won't let anyone come in, except me. I'm Patricia's little sister Katie. I'm only nine and, as everybody knows, little kids are invisible so I can get to stay in Patricia's room with her, even when the rest of the world is forbidden. I'm only going into grade five tomorrow so that's no big deal. Not like high school where there are all kinds of big kids from all different neighborhoods. I can understand how it might be a bit scary for Patricia -- especially if you're fat.
This situation started a few weeks ago but I guess it really got bad last night when Mom asked her what she was going to wear for her first day of school. That's when Patricia got all mad and went stomping up stairs and started slamming doors and everything.
Me and Mom went up and Mom said "Patty, what's wrong sweetheart? Is it something I said?"
Patricia was really mad. "It's nobody's business, and don't call me Patty."
Patricia hates to be called Patty or Pat -- even Patricia sometimes. I don't know what you're supposed to call her because that's her name. Anyway, when Mom went downstairs for a minute I knocked on the door really quietly and went "Hey, Patricia, it's me, Katie." I was careful not to call her Patty or anything.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing, let me in." After a few big clunks and scrapes she opened the door and little bit and I squeezed inside. Right away I saw that clothes had been thrown all over the place and she'd covered both her mirrors with sheets, so she wouldn't be able to see herself I guess. The blind was down and the curtains were shut. I don't know if this was so no one could see in or if Patricia just wanted to stay in the dark. I sat on the bed. "What are you doing?" I was actually trying to make conversation; you know, to lighten things up a bit.
"Did she send you in here to interrogate me or something?"
"No, she's downstairs."
"Good." Patricia said then opened the drawers on this nice little vanity she has and started taking everything out and piling it on top; makeup, creams, eyebrow pencils -- she's allowed to have all that kind of stuff. Mom says I'm still too young.
It's no secret what the problem is, it's just that no one can talk about it in front of her, which is pretty silly really because, of course, Patricia 's not fat at all. One of her friends said one time that she was big boned and got pushed down on the ground for it. I was there and it was hard not to laugh. Patricia 's got a pretty good sense of humor but there's some things you just don't laugh about with her and her weight is one of them.
Right now she looked pretty upset so I figured I'd try to, you know, help. "I think maybe you should go to school tomorr..."
"You can just keep your opinions to yourself. You're here because I let you be here."
Then Mom's voice came through the door. "What's that sweetheart? I didn't hear you."
"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Katie."
"Well please talk to me honey, I love you and Katie loves you too, don't you Katie?"
Patricia gave me a nasty look so I didn't say anything.
"Girls?" Mom said.
We didn't say anything.
After a minute Patricia's phone rang with that singer she's in love with so much and she looked at the screen then threw it on the bed beside me. I looked at the screen. It was Mom.
When the phone stopped Mom said from outside the door "I know you feel you're a bit overweight honey but it's just not true. Actually you're very um..."
"What, pleasantly plump?"
"No sweetheart, not at all..."
"I caught it from Daddy. Everybody knows that. And don't call me sweetheart either."
"Sweethea... uh, Patricia, your father was big because he ate too much and he didn't take care of himself. It's not contagious. You can't catch it.
Right then the pink sheet covering the mirror slid off onto the floor and Patricia looked at herself for a long time. I think she forgot I was there. She looked pretty sad. "You always said I had his eyes," she said to Mom through the door. "...that I've got his chin, well now I've got his pant size too."
Mom sounded like she was starting to get mad now. "Don't be ridiculous. Your father was a size forty-three. You're not even a size five, six at the most. Why don't you come out here where we can talk about it?"
Daddy died when I was just a little baby so I don't remember him too well. It was a cornery, whatever that is, and it happened one time when Daddy was looking all over for the TV remote. This cornery made his heart stop.
Patricia put the sheet back over the mirror again. "You even let him give me a fat name. People don't even have to see me to know."
"Swee... uh dear, I'm afraid I really don't follow you. Patricia's not a fat name. We could have called you Connie, that's a fat name, or Evelyn, that's..."
"Oh yeah? What about Fatty Patty, or big fat Patty, or Fat Pat?! That's what they call me when I'm not there you know, Fat Pat."
It was true, some of the big kids did call her that but it was just to be mean. Big kids are really mean to each other all the time.
"Patricia dear, I really do think you're getting carried away."
When Patricia didn't answer her, Mom called out to me. "Katie honey, tell Patricia to open the door and come out here so we can talk like grownups."
I looked at Patricia and she looked hard at me again so I kept quiet.
I heard Mom lean against the door and say to herself "What did I do to deserve this?"
Patricia heard her too. "Who are you talking to out there?"
"Myself. I'm talking to myself. That's what all this is doing to me. It's making me insane."
Patricia looked at the stuff on her vanity and let out a big sigh. I thought right then "Some day that'll be my vanity and this will be my room".
"Patricia, would you feel better if we signed you up for an exercise program?"
"I don't think they could do much for me by tomorrow Mother. I've got the thighs of a polar bear."
"Patricia you have to go to school tomorrow, that's all there is to it."
"I'll take a correspondence course.
"Sweetheart, be sensible."
"Stop calling me that."
I heard Mom talking to herself again then she said loud to the door "When I was your age I didn't have my own room to lock myself in." and I thought about the vanity and the closet and the desk and the whole room being mine again someday. "Has it occurred to you" Mom said, "that you probably don't weight any more than most of the girls in your class."
"Don't you mean most of the boys? I want to go to school in another town."
"Wouldn't that be kind of expensive?"
"Is that all it means to you, money?"
"Of course not but... well, wouldn't there be people there who would see you too?"
Patricia let out a big kind of angry sound that made me jump.
Mom didn't give up. "Darling, can't you just give it one day and see how you feel? Then, if you don't want to go back, then we'll talk about it. Okay?"
Now Patricia had everything from her vanity drawers out and lined up in front of her. "There's nothing to talk about Mother, my life might as well be over, that's all."
Then Mom's voice got really serious. "Darling?" Patricia didn't say anything. Instead she dumped a bunch of powder right out on the vanity. "Honey?" Mom said through the door. "Please answer me."
Patricia didn't say anything, sh
e just kept dumping the cosmetics out. I looked in that drawer lots of times before but I never realized she had so much of that stuff.
"You won't do anything... foolish will you?" Mom said.
"You mean like rip down all my wallpaper or something?"
Patricia looked around at the pink, yellow and blue polka dot wallpaper.
"No," Mom said. "I mean um..."
"God, I never noticed it before." Patricia said.
"Never noticed what darling?"
"You even got me fat wallpaper!"
"Those are planets." Mom said. "You said you were interested in astronomy."
"Everything you ever got me is fat!"
I imagined Mom was rubbing her eyes the way she does when she's upset about something. Then she said to me "Katie, tell mummy what Patricia is doing now."
I figured there was nothing wrong with telling this; she was going to see it later anyway. "Now she's dumping all her perfume and stuff out and making a muck with it on her vanity."
"Katie, come and open the door so mummy can come in."
Patricia shot me a scary look and said "Katie, if you move one inch I'll make you stay in the closet."
"Katie?" Mom called out again, but I didn't answer. "Okay Patricia," Mom said after a while. "I'm going to call for some professional advice. Is that what you want?"
When no one answered I heard Mom go down the hall and down the stairs really loud so we could hear but slowly so Patricia could always call her back. She didn't.
"What's professional help?" I asked Patricia.
"Who knows?" she said "I hope it's the police then they can see how I'm treated around here. Besides, she doesn't have to make a big show about going downstairs to call; she's got a phone in her hand."
When Patricia was finished mucking up the stuff on her vanity she came and fell down on the bed beside me and shoved her face in the pillows. Maybe this was a good time to discuss some of the important things. "So if you don't go to school," I said. "will you still grow up?"
"Don't be silly."
"But then you'll grow up to be stupid so you'll have to keep your room and that means I won't get it."
"Do you ever stop thinking about yourself? Can't you see I have like a serious problem here?"
"Can I have your bike?"
She made that big sound again and I jumped again. She stuck her head in the pillows and maybe she was crying but I couldn't tell for sure. I looked at her and wondered if this is what being a big kid meant, I wasn't sure I wanted to become one.
After a few minutes she looked up at me. here eyes were all red. She had been crying. "Think you could go downstairs and make me a P&B sandwich?"
"Do you think you should be eating? You know, when you're so worried about being fat and everything?"
"So you're against me too?"
I didn't want to make things worse so I rolled off the bed and started for the door.
"Anyway," Patricia said into the pillow. "I'll just order my clothes from a tent factory."
When I got downstairs Mom was on the phone. She didn't see me at all. I made two peanut butter and banana sandwiches, put them on a plate, got two glasses of milk and went back upstairs, you know, invisible, like nothing happened.
"Didn't you make one for yourself?" Patricia said as she took the sandwiches and wedged the chair back under the door knob.
"No". I said, actually thinking one of them was for me, but it was better not to get her more mad than she already was.
Patricia opened the curtains and the blind and we sat there on the bed looking out the window and she let me have half of one of the sandwiches. Once Patricia wiped here eyes on her bread and I realized that you could blow your nose in bread if you wanted to. I told her this and we both started to laugh, which was a bit of a relief. After a while a yellow car came down the street and turned into our drive. We couldn't see who was in the car but we could hear Mom say something to them then they went in the side door to the kitchen.
A while later there was a knock on the door. It didn't sound like Mom's knock either, and it wasn't Mom's voice either. "Patricia?" It was a man's voice. "Patricia, are you in there?"
Patricia and me looked at each other. I made a scared face; it was strange to hear a man's voice in our house.
Then Mom's voice came through the door. "Patricia honey, there's someone here from the school who wants to talk to you. His name's Mr. Dunsford, he's your new home room teacher."
Patricia and me looked at each other and she made an oh God, now what? kind of face.
"You know Patricia," this Mr. Dunsford said. "I'm only guessing here but I suspect you and I have something in common."
"What, we're both like size fifty thousand?"
Mr. Dunsford laughed. "That's funny. No, I mean we're both starting at a new school tomorrow and we're kind of nervous about it."
Patricia didn't say anything, she just looked at me and made big eyes at the ceiling.
Patricia darling," Mom said. "Why don't you come out and I'll make some lemonade and we can sit downstairs like civilized people and discuss all this?"
"Why doesn't everybody just mind their own business? That's what I'd like to know."
"Your feelings are our business. All we want to do is help you to be happy..."
"The only way you can help me now is with some kind of like liposuction machine.
Mr. Dunsford laughed on the other side of the door and said "You know, maybe you're right. Maybe you are going to the wrong school. You should be learning to be a stand up comedian."
"Forget it, if I keep going like this I won't be able to stand up."
Mr. Dunsford laughed again. "Since you brought it up I have to tell you I've lost almost 125 pounds."
Patricia gave me a strange look that I'd never seen before. "What's that supposed to mean?" she said.
"Nothing, I just thought you'd be interested to see what I look like now."
Patricia knew it was just a scheme to get her to come out of her room. But I guess she figured this Mr. Dunsford had come all the way from the school and he didn't sound like he was going to go away so she'd better come out.
I helped Patricia move the chair away from the door and she opened it.
Mr. Dunsford wasn't really that fat but he wasn't exactly skinny either.
"I thought you said you lost 125 pounds." Patricia said.
"I said I lost it, I didn't say I kept it off. I thought you said you were fat."
"I am."
"Hah! You don't even know what fat is. Trust me, I do. I used to be out to here." and he held his hands out to show how fat he used to be. "I used to weight more than three-hundred pounds."
"Wow!" Patricia said.
"Yeah, wow is right. Want to go for a walk?
"Don't you think we should make that a run?"
Mr. Dunsford laughed at this then I saw him secretly look at Mom and she secretly nodded back.
"Let's go." he said and pretty soon we were walking down the street where there are cafes and grocery stores and the mall. I followed behind at first to find out what was going to happen but it was hard to hear so I just caught up and walk right behind them. Remember, I'm invisible to adults and even teenagers most of the time.
"...in reality," Mr. Dunsford was saying. "everyone's always been very confused about the whole fat and thin thing. During the renaissance people were highly respected if they weighed more than everyone else. It was proof that they were rich and successful. They were the people with the most friends."
"Really?"
"I know. It seems strange to us now but it just shows how things can change from one time to another."
"Do you like know this for a fact?"
"Our class will be taking a trip to the art gallery in the first semester. I'll show you. Everyone wishes they were someone else at some point in their life. It's normal. I still dream I'm Spiderman sometimes."
Patricia and me both giggled. That's when Mr. Dunsford noticed I was there.
Patricia said "I was Laura Croft for about two years."
"And I'll bet you really believed you were Laura Croft, even though you knew you weren't."
"Yeah, sometimes."
"Now you think you're fat, but you really aren't that either are you?"
"I am. It's disgusting."
Mr. Dunsford stopped her right there and turned her around so they were looking right over my head. He pointed at the row of shops we had just passed. "See that restaurant back there and that bakery?"
"Yeah."
"If you were really a person with a weight problem you never would have made it past those places without noticing all the temptation they put out. I, on the other hand, do have a weight problem. I saw every one of the pies and cakes, the donuts, the flans. Back there there's a big tray of those sticky cinnamon buns that..."
"But you didn't stop."
Mr. Dunsford sighed a big sigh. "No, I can't afford to. I've taught myself not to pay attention to that."
"But you're not really fat, you're just..."
"Don't be fooled. I had to work very hard and give up many things to get to look like this. Not to mention the cost. I spent a fortune on diets. Let me tell you, none of them work."
Patricia looked out at the park. "Yeah, well I guess I just hate being me."
"Oh, that's a different thing. It takes some doing to like yourself sometimes. A lot of people never manage it. It's sad. When I was a boy my big brother always called me potato nose.
Me and Patricia both looked at Mr. Dunsford's nose. "There's nothing wrong with your nose." Patricia said.
"I know but just because of that for years I thought it was too big.
Patricia laughed. "That's crazy."
Mr. Dunsford tapped his head with his finger. "You're right, it's all up here. It's confusion about self image. I had doubts and insecurities and so I believed what he said."
Patricia didn't say anything for a while; she just looked at the park. Then Mr. Dunsford said to both of us "I guess you girls miss your dad too don't you?"
That was funny because, in our house nobody really mentions Daddy dying. I mean we talk about him but not him dying.
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