Penrod

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by Booth Tarkington


  CHAPTER XIV MAURICE LEVY'S CONSTITUTION

  "Lo, Sam!" said Maurice cautiously. "What you doin'?"

  Penrod at that instant had a singular experience--an intellectual shocklike a flash of fire in the brain. Sitting in darkness, a great lightflooded him with wild brilliance. He gasped!

  "What you doin'?" repeated Mr. Levy.

  Penrod sprang to his feet, seized the licorice bottle, shook it withstoppering thumb, and took a long drink with histrionic unction.

  "What you doin'?" asked Maurice for the third time, Sam Williams nothaving decided upon a reply.

  It was Penrod who answered.

  "Drinkin' lickrish water," he said simply, and wiped his mouth with suchdelicious enjoyment that Sam's jaded thirst was instantly stimulated. Hetook the bottle eagerly from Penrod.

  "A-a-h!" exclaimed Penrod, smacking his lips. "That was a good un!"

  The eyes above the fence glistened.

  "Ask him if he don't want some," Penrod whispered urgently. "Quitdrinkin' it! It's no good any more. Ask him!"

  "What for?" demanded the practical Sam.

  "Go on and ask him!" whispered Penrod fiercely.

  "Say, M'rice!" Sam called, waving the bottle. "Want some?"

  "Bring it here!" Mr. Levy requested.

  "Come on over and get some," returned Sam, being prompted.

  "I can't. Penrod Schofield's after me."

  "No, I'm not," said Penrod reassuringly. "I won't touch you, M'rice.I made up with you yesterday afternoon--don't you remember? You're allright with me, M'rice."

  Maurice looked undecided. But Penrod had the delectable bottle again,and tilting it above his lips, affected to let the cool liquid purlenrichingly into him, while with his right hand he stroked his middlefacade ineffably. Maurice's mouth watered.

  "Here!" cried Sam, stirred again by the superb manifestations of hisfriend. "Gimme that!"

  Penrod brought the bottle down, surprisingly full after so much gusto,but withheld it from Sam; and the two scuffled for its possession.Nothing in the world could have so worked upon the desire of theyearning observer beyond the fence.

  "Honest, Penrod--you ain't goin' to touch me if I come in your yard?" hecalled. "Honest?"

  "Cross my heart!" answered Penrod, holding the bottle away from Sam."And we'll let you drink all you want."

  Maurice hastily climbed the fence, and while he was thus occupied Mr.Samuel Williams received a great enlightenment. With startling rapidityPenrod, standing just outside the storeroom door, extended his armwithin the room, deposited the licorice water upon the counter of thedrug store, seized in its stead the bottle of smallpox medicine, andextended it cordially toward the advancing Maurice.

  Genius is like that--great, simple, broad strokes!

  Dazzled, Mr. Samuel Williams leaned against the wall. He hadthe sensations of one who comes suddenly into the presence of achef-d'oeuvre. Perhaps his first coherent thought was that almostuniversal one on such huge occasions: "Why couldn't _I_ have done that!"

  Sam might have been even more dazzled had he guessed that he figured notaltogether as a spectator in the sweeping and magnificent conception ofthe new Talleyrand. Sam had no partner for the cotillon. If Mauricewas to be absent from that festivity--as it began to seem he mightbe--Penrod needed a male friend to take care of Miss Rennsdale and hebelieved he saw his way to compel Mr. Williams to be that male friend.For this he relied largely upon the prospective conduct of MissRennsdale when he should get the matter before her--he was inclined tobelieve she would favour the exchange. As for Talleyrand Penrod himself,he was going to dance that cotillon with Marjorie Jones!

  "You can have all you can drink at one pull, M'rice," said Penrodkindly.

  "You said I could have all I want!" protested Maurice, reaching for thebottle.

  "No, I didn't," returned Penrod quickly, holding it away from the eagerhand.

  "He did, too! Didn't he, Sam?"

  Sam could not reply; his eyes, fixed upon the bottle, protrudedstrangely.

  "You heard him--didn't you, Sam?"

  "Well, if I did say it I didn't mean it!" said Penrod hastily, quotingfrom one of the authorities. "Looky here, M'rice," he continued,assuming a more placative and reasoning tone, "that wouldn't be fair tous. I guess we want some of our own lickrish water, don't we? The bottleain't much over two-thirds full anyway. What I meant was, you can haveall you can drink at one pull."

  "How do you mean?"

  "Why, this way: you can gulp all you want, so long as you keepswallering; but you can't take the bottle out of your mouth and commenceagain. Soon's you quit swallering it's Sam's turn."

  "No; you can have next, Penrod," said Sam.

  "Well, anyway, I mean M'rice has to give the bottle up the minute hestops swallering."

  Craft appeared upon the face of Maurice, like a poster pasted on a wall.

  "I can drink so long I don't stop swallering?"

  "Yes; that's it."

  "All right!" he cried. "Gimme the bottle!"

  And Penrod placed it in his hand.

  "You promise to let me drink until I quit swallering?" Maurice insisted.

  "Yes!" said both boys together.

  With that, Maurice placed the bottle to his lips and began to drink.Penrod and Sam leaned forward in breathless excitement. They had fearedMaurice might smell the contents of the bottle; but that danger waspast--this was the crucial moment. Their fondest hope was that he wouldmake his first swallow a voracious one--it was impossible to imagine asecond. They expected one big, gulping swallow and then an explosion,with fountain effects.

  Little they knew the mettle of their man! Maurice swallowed once; heswallowed twice--and thrice--and he continued to swallow! No Adam'sapple was sculptured on that juvenile throat, but the internal progressof the liquid was not a whit the less visible. His eyes gleamed withcunning and malicious triumph, sidewise, at the stunned conspirators;he was fulfilling the conditions of the draught, not once breaking thethread of that marvelous swallering.

  His audience stood petrified. Already Maurice had swallowed more thanthey had given Duke and still the liquor receded in the uplifted bottle!And now the clear glass gleamed above the dark contents full half thevessel's length--and Maurice went on drinking! Slowly the clear glassincreased in its dimensions--slowly the dark diminished.

  Sam Williams made a horrified movement to check him--but Mauriceprotested passionately with his disengaged arm, and made vehement vocalnoises remindful of the contract; whereupon Sam desisted and watched thecontinuing performance in a state of grisly fascination.

  Maurice drank it all! He drained the last drop and threw the bottle inthe air, uttering loud ejaculations of triumph and satisfaction.

  "Hah!" he cried, blowing out his cheeks, inflating his chest, squaringhis shoulders, patting his stomach, and wiping his mouth contentedly."Hah! Aha! Waha! Wafwah! But that was good!"

  The two boys stood looking at him in stupor.

  "Well, I gotta say this," said Maurice graciously: "You stuck to yourbargain all right and treated me fair."

  Stricken with a sudden horrible suspicion, Penrod entered the storeroomin one stride and lifted the bottle of licorice water to his nose--thento his lips. It was weak, but good; he had made no mistake. And Mauricehad really drained--to the dregs--the bottle of old hair tonics, deadcatsups, syrups of undesirable preserves, condemned extracts ofvanilla and lemon, decayed chocolate, ex-essence of beef, mixed dentalpreparations, aromatic spirits of ammonia, spirits of nitre, alcohol,arnica, quinine, ipecac, sal volatile, nux vomica and licorice water--with traces of arsenic, belladonna and strychnine.

  Penrod put the licorice water out of sight and turned to face theothers. Maurice was seating himself on a box just outside the door andhad taken a package of cigarettes from his pocket.

  "Nobody can see me from here, can they?" he said, striking a match. "Youfellers smoke?"

  "No," said Sam, staring at him haggardly.

  "No," said Penrod in a whisper.

/>   Maurice lit his cigarette and puffed showily.

  "Well, sir," he remarked, "you fellers are certainly square--I gottasay that much. Honest, Penrod, I thought you was after me! I didthink so," he added sunnily; "but now I guess you like me, or elseyou wouldn't of stuck to it about lettin' me drink it all if I kept onswallering."

  He chatted on with complete geniality, smoking his cigarette in content.And as he ran from one topic to another his hearers stared at him in akind of torpor. Never once did they exchange a glance with each other;their eyes were frozen to Maurice. The cheerful conversationalist madeit evident that he was not without gratitude.

  "Well," he said as he finished his cigarette and rose to go, "youfellers have treated me nice and some day you come over to my yard; I'dlike to run with you fellers. You're the kind of fellers I like."

  Penrod's jaw fell; Sam's mouth had been open all the time. Neitherspoke.

  "I gotta go," observed Maurice, consulting a handsome watch. "Gotta getdressed for the cotillon right after lunch. Come on, Sam. Don't you haveto go, too?"

  Sam nodded dazedly.

  "Well, good-bye, Penrod," said Maurice cordially. "I'm glad you like meall right. Come on, Sam."

  Penrod leaned against the doorpost and with fixed and glazing eyeswatched the departure of his two visitors. Maurice was talking volubly,with much gesticulation, as they went; but Sam walked mechanicallyand in silence, staring at his brisk companion and keeping at a littledistance from him.

  They passed from sight, Maurice still conversing gayly--and Penrodslowly betook himself into the house, his head bowed upon his chest.

  Some three hours later, Mr. Samuel Williams, waxen clean and in sweetraiment, made his reappearance in Penrod's yard, yodelling a code-signalto summon forth his friend. He yodelled loud, long, and frequently,finally securing a faint response from the upper air.

  "Where are you?" shouted Mr. Williams, his roving glance searchingambient heights. Another low-spirited yodel reaching his ear, heperceived the head and shoulders of his friend projecting above theroofridge of the stable. The rest of Penrod's body was concealed fromview, reposing upon the opposite slant of the gable and precariouslysecured by the crooking of his elbows over the ridge.

  "Yay! What you doin' up there?"

  "Nothin'."

  "You better be careful!" Sam called. "You'll slide off and fall down inthe alley if you don't look out. I come pert' near it last time we wasup there. Come on down! Ain't you goin' to the cotillon?"

  Penrod made no reply. Sam came nearer.

  "Say," he called up in a guarded voice, "I went to our telephone a whileago and ast him how he was feelin', and he said he felt fine!"

  "So did I," said Penrod. "He told me he felt bully!"

  Sam thrust his hands in his pockets and brooded. The opening of thekitchen door caused a diversion. It was Della.

  "Mister Penrod," she bellowed forthwith, "come ahn down fr'm up there!Y'r mamma's at the dancin' class waitin' fer ye, an' she's telephonedme they're goin' to begin--an' what's the matter with ye? Come ahn downfr'm up there!"

  "Come on!" urged Sam. "We'll be late. There go Maurice and Marjorienow."

  A glittering car spun by, disclosing briefly a genre picture of MarjorieJones in pink, supporting a monstrous sheaf of American Beauty roses.Maurice, sitting shining and joyous beside her, saw both boys and wavedthem a hearty greeting as the car turned the corner.

  Penrod uttered some muffled words and then waved both arms--either inresponse or as an expression of his condition of mind; it may havebeen a gesture of despair. How much intention there was in thisact--obviously so rash, considering the position he occupied--itis impossible to say. Undeniably there must remain a suspicion ofdeliberate purpose.

  Della screamed and Sam shouted. Penrod had disappeared from view.

  The delayed dance was about to begin a most uneven cotillon when SamuelWilliams arrived.

  Mrs. Schofield hurriedly left the ballroom; while Miss Rennsdale,flushing with sudden happiness, curtsied profoundly to Professor Bartetand obtained his attention.

  "I have telled you fifty times," he informed her passionately ere shespoke, "I cannot make no such changes. If your partner comes you have todance with him. You are going to drive me crazy, sure! What is it? Whatnow? What you want?"

  The damsel curtsied again and handed him the following communication,addressed to herself:

  "Dear madam Please excuse me from dancing the cotilon with youthis afternoon as I have fell off the barn

  "Sincerly yours

  "PENROD SCHOFIELD."

 

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