by Lucy Connell
‘That’s not the point,’ I say sharply. ‘You know that’s not the point. I need you there and you promised! I know you have the power to change it if you want to. You’re letting Mark push you around as normal.’
‘That’s not fair.’
‘You think you have some control, but he’s the one pulling all the strings and you just let him, even if it means hurting the band. Even if it means hurting me!’
‘What am I supposed to do, Nina?’ he yells, his voice echoing around the courtyard. ‘In case you didn’t notice, this is a big step in my career and, let’s be honest here, it’s only a showcase!’
I feel as though he’s punched me in the stomach.
‘Only a showcase?’ I whisper.
‘Nina,’ he croaks, his eyes suddenly scared and sad, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean –’
‘I get it. I have to go,’ I say, pushing past him. I break into a run, not sure where I’m going but just as long as it’s far away from him.
‘Nina, wait!’
I ignore his calls and run as fast as my legs can take me until I end up in the only place I imagine will be completely empty at this moment in time and where Chase won’t think of looking for me: the Milton Court concert hall.
Catching my breath, I walk into the empty, dimly lit and eerily quiet auditorium. I walk up on to the stage, right into the middle and look out at the rows and rows of empty seats. I sit down and let my legs dangle over the edge of the stage. Next weekend I’ll be here with the rest of the Guildhall students, performing to a big audience.
But for now it’s just me. No one will find me here. Finally, I allow myself to cry. To really, really cry.
It’s the first time I’ve ever felt safe on a stage.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Nancy
When a boy like Miles kisses you, it’s very hard to concentrate on anything else.
I can’t stop thinking about him and every time I think about that amazing first kiss and then all the kissing we did afterwards on the way home, I get this shiver down my spine and I can’t stop grinning and I feel all giddy and dazed, and I could BURST with excitement and happiness. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever. I never realized that this is how it feels when you fall for someone. Like really fall for them. They completely take over your brain and you’re constantly waiting for your phone to beep and their name to pop up on the screen. And when you see their name you feel your heart in your mouth and you want to jump up and down, even if they’ve only messaged to say hello.
I can’t believe I ever thought I was in love with Chase Hunter. Before he started dating Nina, I was completely invested in this fantasy I had of Chase and me being perfect for one another. I didn’t even know him, but was convinced that I was in love with him and as soon as he met me the feeling would be reciprocated. That’s why I could write all those stories so easily. I made everything up in my head. Nothing was real.
I feel SO embarrassed about that now.
Because this spark I have with Miles, it’s real. I mean, yeah, Chase is good-looking but HELLO, have you seen Miles’s eyes? They are this really beautiful dark, dark brown framed by nice long eyelashes. And when he laughs his eyes get these little crinkles round them and that’s when you know that you’ve really made him laugh – not a fake laugh but a proper laugh. I love his hair too; it’s so thick. I need to ask him what products he uses. And, oh my goodness, because he’s a drummer his arms are all muscly, and when he puts them round me I feel so safe and enclosed. He smells really good too. I don’t know what cologne he uses, but it’s the best one I’ve ever smelt and he doesn’t use too much of it either, so it’s not overpowering or anything; he uses just the perfect amount.
OK, I sound like a crazy person. I should stop talking about his smell.
YOU SEE? You see what happens when a boy like Miles kisses you? One minute you’re talking about your old obsession with his bandmate and the next moment you can’t stop thinking about his smell.
And now Layla is yelling at me because, instead of listening to whatever she’s saying, I’ve been daydreaming about Miles’s eye crinkles and his smell.
‘Nancy!’ she barks. ‘Wake up!’
It’s not the first time I’ve drifted off during this last-minute meeting that Layla called. We are very close to winning the competition and if we can make sure we have enough votes to beat Jimmy, then we will win the internship. I’d be spending my holiday working at the Disney Channel. Everyone would be so impressed that I’d actually done it. Me, Nancy.
We HAVE to win.
‘Sorry, sorry. What were you saying?’ I say.
‘Your eyes keep glazing over. Do you need a coffee?’ She raises her eyebrows. ‘Something is different about you today. What’s going on?’
‘Yeah, you’re acting strange,’ agrees Sophie, sitting on the floor, painting her toenails bright blue.
‘No, I’m not,’ I say hurriedly. ‘I’m just … I’m really excited about the chance of winning the competition.’
Even though I want to talk about Miles constantly, I haven’t told anyone about the kiss. Not even Nina. When Miles had to go home that Saturday night, I got the bus with him to the station and while we waited for his platform to come up on the screen he pulled me close to him.
‘I don’t want to leave,’ he’d said, as I lost myself in those dark eyes.
‘I don’t want you to leave,’ I’d whispered back. ‘Can’t you stay?’
He’d shaken his head. ‘I’ll call you tonight when I’m home and we can sort out when I’m next seeing you. If you’d like to see me again, that is?’
‘Actually, I’m very busy. I’ll have to check my schedule, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to fit you in,’ I’d teased, making him grin.
‘Any chance I can change your mind?’ he’d said, before gently lifting my chin up and kissing me again.
HOW is he so good at kissing?!
Obviously, my brain went all fuzzy after that kiss and I couldn’t remember what we were talking about, where we were or what was going on, so he had to repeat the question.
‘Can I see you again this week, Nancy Palmer? Or next weekend if you’re too busy to fit me in on a weekday evening?’ he’d said, nuzzling into my neck.
Yes. That’s right. Miles. The drummer from Chasing Chords. Nuzzled my neck. NUZZLED.
‘Yeah, that might be nice,’ I’d squeaked, wondering if I was dreaming and terrified that none of this was real.
‘Great,’ he’d said.
And then he’d kissed me again. When his platform number came up on the screen and he’d had to go, turning to shoot me one of those smiles of his, I’d almost melted right into the station floor. I’d stood there for ages, watching him walk away until he got on the train and I literally could not see him any more. Someone barged past me to get to the train and I guess them knocking my shoulder kind of knocked me out of my trance, because I realized I was standing there, waving sadly at him and NOT playing it cool in the slightest. I’d quickly turned on my heel and walked out of the station, with the smallest of skips because, no matter how hard I’d tried, I was too happy not to.
He’d texted me a few minutes later to say how he’d had a really good day and he couldn’t wait to see me again –
‘NANCY! You’re doing it AGAIN!’ Layla’s shrill voice cuts through my thoughts. ‘Your eyes are all glazed!’
‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,’ I say, sitting bolt upright on her bed.
‘Snap out of it. This is serious!’ She sighs, sitting down at her dressing table. ‘How are we going to secure those last-minute votes?’
‘We’ve texted everyone in our contacts asking for them to vote for us,’ Sophie says. ‘So that’s got to help.’
Layla rolls her eyes. ‘You think they’ll vote just because we asked them to? That’s not enough! Jimmy’s website is really popular. That protest outside the town hall got a huge amount of interest – it was even in the local paper!’
‘Our
website was on loads of celebrity sites,’ Sophie points out.
‘Weeks ago! Since then, our hits have dropped to an all-time low,’ Layla says, tapping her fingernails on the table. ‘If we lose to Jimmy, something is seriously wrong with the world. How can we beat him? I can’t bear that he might be spending a week with the stars of the Disney Channel while we’re stuck at home revising like everyone else.’
‘You’re right,’ I say, determined to get Miles out of my brain for one minute so I can focus on what’s important. ‘We have to think of something.’
‘There is a solution and it’s been there all along. Nancy, you need to ring Chase and ask him for some music news,’ Layla says sternly. ‘Explain what this website means to you and he’ll surely be able to help you out.’
‘He can tell us something about Chasing Chords!’ Sophie cries.
‘Yes, well done, Einstein,’ Layla says, her voice monotone. ‘Obviously. Or Nancy could ask Miles for some new gossip from his friend Tyler Hill.’
Just the sound of his name makes me go giddy. I pull myself together pronto.
‘I’ve told you before, I can’t,’ I say in a strained tone, trying to get it through to them. ‘He’d think I was using him. Please can you drop it?’
‘But think about it, Nancy,’ Layla says in a softer, more encouraging tone. ‘One more exclusive like Tyler Hill’s fashion line, one tiny story that makes people click on our link and Jimmy will have no hope! They’ll want more! It takes two seconds to vote and it says it right at the top of our website in huge letters. Everyone would be too busy scrolling through our website to bother voting for Jimmy’s.’
‘I don’t think we need it,’ I say, attempting to be convincing. ‘Your make-up and fashion posts are amazing, Layla. Everyone at school talks about them. And, Sophie, you’ve even had a video go properly viral!’
‘Yeah,’ Sophie sighs, concentrating on painting the nail of her little toe. ‘I really didn’t mean to walk into that glass door, but I’m glad I caught it on camera.’
‘See?’ I say. ‘We have this in the bag already!’
‘No, we don’t,’ Layla retorts. ‘Yes, we have a loyal following and, yes, my vlogs have become an inspiration for my fellow classmates, BUT it’s not their votes we need here. We need the votes of everyone else! We’re talking about the weirdos and randoms who are only checking out our website today as they peruse Jimmy’s too, working out which one to bother to vote for! They’re the people we have to win over!’
‘Layla’s right,’ Sophie says solemnly. ‘We need you to bring us one last brilliant story that will make everyone sit up and notice. A story that will win their hearts.’
‘Yes, well put, Sophie,’ Layla agrees, looking mildly surprised at Sophie’s unusual eloquence. ‘Nancy, you could be a legend at school.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I mean it,’ Layla says, her eyes boring into mine. ‘Everyone will want to be you!’
‘And be friends with you,’ Sophie adds. ‘You’re very fun to hang out with.’
‘And, more to the point,’ Layla says, back to rolling her eyes at Sophie’s comments, ‘you hang out with famous music stars. That makes you officially the coolest person in school.’
‘Yeah,’ Sophie says firmly. ‘Nina who?’
I glance at their hopeful expressions and then bury my head in my hands. ‘I wish I could simply call Miles or Chase and ask them for a story, but it’s too embarrassing! I don’t have the guts, I’m sorry!’
‘Miles was happy to help you before,’ Layla huffs, standing up and coming towards me. ‘I don’t understand why you’re being such a coward about it. If it was me, I’d call Chase and say, Look, please can you help me with a story for this really important project? It’s a matter of LIFE and DEATH.’
‘It’s a shame you’re not friends with Chase Hunter, Layla.’ Sophie sighs. ‘Then our problem would be solved. You’d have the guts to do it.’
Layla nods thoughtfully and then gets a funny look on her face, as though she’s just thought of a VERY sly plan. Suddenly she jolts forward and, before I even realize what’s happening, she snatches my phone from where it’s lying on the bed in front of me.
‘Hey! Give that back!’
‘You have Chase’s number in this phone, don’t you?’ she says, dangling it in front of me. ‘So, you won’t mind if I have a scroll through your contacts and send it to myself.’
‘Layla, this isn’t funny,’ I say, scrambling across the duvet to grab it back. She pulls it out of my reach just in time.
‘It’s the perfect plan!’ Sophie giggles. ‘Then you don’t have to worry because Layla will call him for you. Sorted!’
‘Don’t be stupid! He’ll be furious that I’ve given out his number,’ I say, folding my arms. ‘Layla, give me back my phone. You can’t get into it anyway. It’s got a passcode. So you might as well hand it back. I’m serious!’
Layla snorts. ‘Oh, please. I’ve known your passcode for years, just like you’ve known mine. It wouldn’t by any chance be the same as your school locker, would it? Let’s give 9481 a try …’
My smugness drains away as I watch her type in the correct numbers. Nina and I have always had that same passcode – when we were little, we found this old key with ‘9481’ engraved on it and we’d thought it was the most mysterious, magical thing ever.
I forgot that when Layla and I were friends we obviously told each other our locker codes for when we needed to get books or homework that the other one had forgotten. I can’t believe she remembers it.
‘And what do you know?’ Her face brightens. ‘I’m in!’
‘Layla! Give me my phone!’
‘You seem very touchy about getting this back, Nancy! What else do you have on this phone that you don’t want to share?’
Panicking that she’ll see the messages from Miles or make good on her threat and steal one of their numbers, I jump off the bed and rush towards her, but she dodges out of my way and runs to the other side of the room, hopping over Sophie’s legs.
‘Layla,’ I say through gritted teeth. ‘Give it back.’
‘I will give it back once I’ve taken Chase’s number and given him a call. You don’t need to worry. I won’t go through anything private.’
She smiles sweetly at me before she begins scrolling through the phone. ‘Ah, here he is!’
‘LAYLA!’ I cry, leaping over Sophie’s legs and basically rugby-tackling Layla to the floor.
‘Hey!’ she yells. ‘Get off!’
I scramble to get my phone back as she holds it out of my reach, Sophie shrieking with laughter in the background. While we grapple with each other and she flails her arm around to keep the phone away from me, Layla accidentally swipes and presses the screen several times, and a video starts playing. I’m still yelling at her to give me the phone back so no one is really listening at first, but then it dawns on both Sophie and Layla whose voice it is.
‘This is a BIG exclusive, for your eyes only. Nancy Palmer, THE Nancy Palmer, has kidnapped a ridiculously good-looking drummer …’
Sophie gets to her feet and rushes closer to get a better look.
‘Is that Miles? Chasing Chords’ Miles?’ Layla says, still holding me at bay and throwing the phone towards Sophie, who snatches it up eagerly.
‘… and is now holding him hostage, completely LOST, in a field of suspicious cows. Nancy, what do you have to say for yourself?’
‘Sophie,’ I croak, ‘please give that back.’
‘Oh my god! He’s filming you, Nancy!’ Sophie says. ‘Where is this? Some kind of field?’
‘Ready for your close up? I’m zooming in on your face! Say something.’
Layla stares at me. ‘When was this?’
‘It’s raining on my phone. Put it away.’
‘She is truly mysterious. Will I ever make it out of here alive?’
‘EEEE! THERE HE IS!’ Sophie squeals. ‘He’s in shot now! Oh my god, Nancy!’
&nb
sp; ‘The truth of this story is that MILES is the one kidnapping ME, an innocent civilian, who isn’t allowed to look at her map and find us a way HOME before we both get soaked.’
‘Will we ever really know the truth?’
‘This video is amazing!’ Sophie says, showing it to Layla.
‘Please,’ I say, but they’re so engrossed and, no matter how I try to grab the phone back, I’m no match for both of them working together to keep me away.
‘OK, stop recording now. You’ve made your HILARIOUS point. Now, I have this stupid video stuck on my phone, taking up valuable space. I thought you were going to give me an ACTUAL story.’
‘Wait, I have one more thing to say! Spoilsport. I wanted what I have to say to go on the record.’
My breath catches in my throat. Why hasn’t the video stopped? It should have stopped. That’s when I turned it off. I stopped recording then, didn’t I?
‘Oh really? And what’s that? Another exciting exclusive about mud being on your boot or something?’
‘All you can see is your jeans now, Nancy,’ Sophie points out. ‘Your filming technique is awful.’
‘Shh!’ Layla hisses.
‘No. That you’re wrong about Nina being the only twin that people care about.’
The video stops moments later. Sophie lowers the phone and both of them stare at me. I can’t believe I didn’t press the button to stop recording properly. I must have turned it off accidentally, holding it against his back as he kissed me.
‘Nancy,’ Layla begins, the colour drained from her face, ‘are you dating Miles?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘No, course not. We … he needed a break from London, that’s all, and we were messing around and –’
‘What happened after he said that thing about caring about you?’ Sophie asks, her eyes shining with excitement and intrigue as though she’s just watched an Oscar-winning performance.
‘Nothing. Nothing happened. We walked out of the field and he went back to London.’
‘He kissed you,’ Layla says, shaking her head in disbelief. ‘I can tell. He kissed you!’