by Lucy Connell
‘Nina, hi,’ Dad says, finishing his call and handing me a bottle of water.
‘Thank you.’ I smile weakly as he sits next to me. ‘And thanks for coming.’
‘As I said, I have a little time between meetings.’ He checks his watch and then picks a bit of fluff off his pristine black city coat. ‘How can I help? How’s the practising going? Everything set for the showcase?’
‘Oh, yeah, fine. Actually, I didn’t ask you to come here because of that,’ I say, a little confused that he didn’t pick up on my tone over the phone. ‘I just needed someone because I … well, I was having a panic attack.’
‘About what? The showcase?’ he asks, scrolling through an email. ‘Nina, how many times do I need to tell you that you have it in the bag? I think the talent scouts would sign you now if they could, so the showcase is really a formality.’
‘No,’ I say, taken aback by his casual attitude towards me having a panic attack. ‘I wasn’t upset about the showcase. It’s Chase.’
He looks up at that. ‘What about him?’
‘We had a fight. A big one. And –’ my face crumples as the words come out, making it all more real – ‘I’m not sure if we’ve broken up.’
‘What? You’ve broken up?’
‘I’m not sure, I think so. He just left and he was so cold. He wasn’t himself and now I don’t know what –’
‘What happened?’ Dad asks sharply.
My hands shaking slightly, I type Nancy’s website into my phone and pass it to him so he can read the two articles. He raises his eyebrows as he scans them and then hands the phone back to me, a smile creeping across his face.
‘I can’t say I’m surprised! This is brilliant news, Nina. Why didn’t you tell me about Chase’s solo plans?’
‘What? No, it’s not good news. It’s supposed to be a secret and they were going to do a press conference next week about it. Now, the secret is out and Chase is really angry.’
‘Yes, but think what this will do for you,’ he says, leaning back on the bench. ‘Chase is doing a good PR job, I have to say. His name is once again big news. An excellent boost for your campaign.’
‘My campaign?’ I shake my head. ‘Dad, I don’t think you get it. Chase might have broken up with me over these stories. He’s really angry at me and Nancy. I told him that there was no way Nancy wrote these posts and she would never do that to him, but he told me I was being stupid. He hurt me. I don’t know what to do.’
Dad shrugs. ‘Simple. Apologize.’
‘Apologize,’ I repeat slowly, staring at him.
‘Apologize for defending Nancy. Whatever it takes for him to stay with you.’ He swivels on the bench to face me properly. ‘Look, I understand that in the heat of the moment you may have said some things, and it’s understandable that your natural reaction would be to stick on Nancy’s side. It’s difficult to apologize after realizing you’re wrong –’
‘I’m not wrong,’ I say sharply. ‘Nancy wouldn’t have done this.’
‘Nina,’ he says, exhaling loudly and shaking his head, ‘you know as well as I do that she did.’
‘No, she didn’t.’
‘Why wouldn’t she?’ He smiles, as though it’s all a bit of a joke. ‘This is a HUGE scoop! Handed to her on a plate. You told me that her website was doing well; think how it’s doing now! It was a smart move on her part, especially if they were going to do a press conference next week. She simply let the cat out of the bag a few days earlier than planned. Hardly a problem for the band, but a big story for her. I’m impressed.’
‘Dad,’ I say sternly, wondering if I’m hearing him right, ‘Nancy didn’t do this. She would never do that to Chase. She would never do that to Miles, and she would NEVER do this to me. I don’t know how this happened, but I’m not wrong about that.’
He purses his lips together.
‘You don’t know her,’ I add quietly.
‘All right, Nina, believe what you want,’ he says, holding up his hands. ‘I think that you’ll find this is a big fuss over nothing. You’ll feel better once you’ve made up with Chase. I can drop you at his place now, if you give me the address.’
‘He doesn’t want to see me.’
‘Of course he does! You just need to remind him. Do whatever it takes. It’s important.’
Another email pops up on his phone and he curses when he sees who it is, before grumbling about clients who won’t stop pestering, typing a reply at the same time. I watch him curiously, doubts beginning to creep into my head that I can’t shake.
‘Dad,’ I begin, without him looking up, ‘why do you want me to do whatever it takes to get back with Chase? Why is it so important that we don’t break up?’
He snorts, still typing on his phone. ‘That’s a silly question.’
‘I mean it. Why do you think it’s important?’
‘Well, you like him,’ he says, putting his phone down and looking up at me. ‘And, trust me, life will be much harder if you don’t have Chase by your side.’
‘Why do you think that?’
‘Because if you lose Chase, you’re throwing everything away!’ he says, exasperated at having to say it out loud. ‘It’s not worth losing your career over something your sister has done.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say slowly, trying to work out what he’s saying. ‘You think by losing Chase, I’d be throwing away my career?’
‘Of course. Don’t be naive, Nina. It’s because of Chase that you’re in the limelight in the first place. Your relationship is a big pull for future agents and music labels. You already have a platform, thanks to him, which is the hardest part. It’s an excellent start, but if things go south with Chase, who knows how long that will last?’ He takes a deep breath. ‘The good news is that this whole publicity stunt has happened right before your showcase. I wouldn’t be surprised if we have paparazzi showing up in hordes now, along with a lot of people from the industry. I might try calling a couple of contacts today, actually, while this news about Chase’s solo career is breaking. Do you think he can come to your showcase? It would be good to have his weight thrown behind it.’
‘So you think, even if I’m not sure how I feel, I should do everything in my power to stay with Chase because it would help my career?’
‘Yes, of course,’ he replies without hesitation. ‘You have to stay relevant and Chase helps you to do that. Why else do you think I posted that photo of you two in the cafe online a few weeks ago?’
His words hit me so hard it feels like the breath has been knocked out of me.
‘The photo of us in the cafe,’ I say, feeling sick to my stomach. ‘You were the one who took that photo of me and Chase through the window and then you put it up online. Right before you showed up on our doorstep in Norfolk and asked to be part of our lives again.’
He smiles, tapping the side of his nose. ‘Nina, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my career, it’s that you want people talking about you, no matter what they’re saying. If they’re not talking about you, you’re irrelevant. It was a good photo, I thought, and got you and Chase to the top of everyone’s newsfeeds.’
It’s as though a veil has been lifted. Suddenly everything becomes horribly clear. I stare at him as he gets back to his phone. He was absolutely right, what he said before. I am naive. I’ve been terribly naive. But not about everything else. About him.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ I say, building up the courage to confront him. ‘If you lost me right now, would you be losing a daughter or a business opportunity?’
‘What?’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Nina, don’t be so sensitive.’
‘I’ve been so stupid. You even told us when you first came to our house. You saw the video of me and Chase on YouTube and that’s what brought you back into my life. That’s when you came looking for me at Guildhall.’ I shake my head at him, wishing that I was wrong but knowing in my gut that I’m right. ‘How could you do this to me?’
He looks at me as though I’m mad.
‘I saw my daughter needed guidance and I knew that with my help you had a chance of making something of yourself! I’ve done everything in my power to help you get ahead. It was me who saw your potential.’
‘What about Nancy?’
‘What?’
‘I said, what about Nancy?’ I feel the anger bubbling inside me. ‘Do you see her potential?’
‘Well, she’s certainly shown initiative today,’ he says, looking confused. ‘Nina, what’s going on? Do you want me to help Nancy with her journalism career? Is that what this is about?’
‘This is about being a dad!’ I cry. ‘This is about seeing me as me and not a way of making money! This is about wanting to make an effort with Nancy, no matter what her ambitions or talents are! What if I told you that I didn’t want a career in music? What if I told you I don’t want a career in anything?’
‘I would say that you’re being very dramatic,’ he says wearily, glancing at his watch. ‘Nina, I really don’t have time for this. You need to be realistic here.’
‘And what about that story you told me about growing your business. That wasn’t the whole truth, was it? You didn’t do so well that your ex-business partner’s clients came to you. You went behind his back and took them. Then you let his company fail. He was your friend!’
He shrugs. ‘That’s business. That’s how it works.’
‘What about loyalty? You were in it together. But you were happy to tread all over him in the name of ambition.’
‘That’s the only way of getting to where you want to be! Nina, what’s this all about? I really don’t have the time to –’
‘Why did you come back?’ I yell, making everyone nearby stop and stare. ‘Just, please, tell me why you came back into my life now?’
‘Because you had a bright career ahead of you!’ he cries in frustration, his cheeks growing pink at the unwanted attention from strangers around us. ‘But you had to strike while the iron was hot, and I knew that I could help you do that.’
‘You came back because you thought I could be famous. Another brilliant business venture for you to get your hands on.’ I shake my head. ‘I was going to be a big star some day, right?’
He looks at me. ‘I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say. I think you need to drink that water. I’ll drop you at Chase’s and we’ll get this mess sorted out.’
‘Thanks, but no thanks,’ I say, standing up. ‘I’m going back to Guildhall. Alone. I don’t need your help any more.’
‘Nina,’ he says, sighing. ‘What is wrong with you?’
‘I didn’t want you to help me with my career. I just wanted you to be my dad. I thought you wanted that, too. I was wrong. This time I’m walking away from you. For good.’
‘Don’t be stupid, Nina,’ he says, his expression caught between irritation and amusement. ‘You need me to get you to where you want to be. How else are you going to do it?’
‘You’re wrong. I don’t need you and I don’t need Chase to get to where I want to be. I can do that myself. I’d forgotten that important fact, but you’ve helped to remind me. Bye, Dad.’
I turn on my heel and start walking. He doesn’t call out for me to stop. He doesn’t run after me telling me I’m wrong. I don’t need to look back to know that he’ll go to his car, make a few phone calls and drive off.
And even though the truth really hurts, even though I feel like I’ve lost my dad all over again, as I walk down that busy London road, I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt before.
At least I have him to thank for that.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Nancy
Oh my god. Oh my god.
Everything has gone wrong and I’ve never felt so powerless.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t go anywhere because I’m stuck on this train, which feels like it’s taking forever to get to London. I know that Nina is in a state and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t bear that she’s on her own, having a panic attack and all I can do is sit here and wait. Miles won’t pick up his phone. I’ve tried a hundred times and I know there’s no use in trying any more. He doesn’t want to speak to me. He thinks I’m a sellout. He thinks I’ve used him for a story. He thinks I don’t really care about him. I tried calling Chase and he won’t pick up to me, either. They all hate me. They’ve got it all wrong and I can’t do anything.
I look out of the train window, tears streaming down my cheeks. I feel so ashamed and hurt, and the worst thing is that I keep getting messages from people at school telling me how amazing I am and how brilliant the scoops are. Anyone would think I was having a wonderful day, judging by the comments that keep appearing under the stories:
OMG CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!! Nancy you are SO AMAZING! ILY!! XXXX
Nancy and Miles 4EVA!!! The cutest couple!!! Nancy, I go to your school and I just want to say that you are an inspiration!!! Xxx
Can’t believe Chase is doing a solo album!! Nancy, do you know when he’s releasing his first solo single??? Let us knoooooooow!!!!
Nancy, I am the year below you at school and your BIGGEST FAN! Can you ask Chasing Chords to do a final show in Norwich before they split up? PLEASE REPLY!! xx
My questions is, WHEN are the Palmer girls going to join together for their own YouTube channel?! Nina is with Chase and Nancy is with Miles?! THE COOLEST SISTERS EVERRRRRRRRR xoxo
Omg, that video is too adorable. Nancy and Miles are made for one another!! Someone start an Insta account of photos of them together PLEASE! XXX
OH MY GOD I GO TO SCHOOL WITH THE PALMER GIRLS!! Nancy is my biggest inspiration!!! She is so cool and pretty in real life!!! WE LOVE YOU!!
I have finally got the response I wanted, but now I don’t want it at all. Not for this. I can’t read any more of them.
I just want Miles to talk to me.
I called Layla as soon as my phone went mental with the stories going online, but she’s not answering my calls or messages. I sent her and Sophie an essay of a message saying that they’d ruined everything and that I would never forgive them for going behind my back and doing this. They’ve read the message but neither of them replied.
It’s so obvious from the writing that I didn’t put up those posts. Who uses that many exclamation points? And capitalizes random words? No thought has been put into the writing at all. I suppose they were in such a rush to upload them that they didn’t make much effort. If I wasn’t so upset about the people they’ve hurt through the stories, I’d be furious about how badly written the stories are – all done under my name.
I begged them to take them down but it’s too late. Both stories have gone stratospheric. They’re everywhere. Layla and Sophie’s horrible plan has worked. All That Glitters is the hottest music site on the internet right now. I’ve got DMs from every paper and magazine you can think of asking me to spill the beans on my romance with Miles, or asking for more details about Chase going solo.
I don’t even want to THINK about the chaos that Miles and Chase are in, either. The press will be all over them and they’re going to blame me.
Miles must think I’m the worst person on the planet. Nothing has really started between us and now it’s gone forever. I use my sleeve to wipe my tears as I scroll through my sent messages and there it is, right at the top: the video and photos of Miles and me, sent to Layla’s number, at the exact time that Layla was holding my phone, right before Nina called and she gave it back.
‘Here you go.’
I jump out of my skin as a hand holding a tissue appears in front of my face. A man sitting on the train seat opposite has noticed I’m crying and is coming to my sleeve’s rescue.
‘Thanks,’ I croak, taking it gratefully.
He smiles kindly at me and then takes his seat again, getting out his book. Suddenly a text from Miles comes through. My breath catches as I open it, hoping that he’s realized I would never do this to him, but the blood in my veins turns to ice as I read his cold tone:
My publicist requests you don’t
<
br /> talk to any press
I quickly reply, knowing that he’s at his phone and will read it. My fingers are shaking as I type.
I didn’t write those stories. You
have to believe me. Please, Miles.
Please speak to me
The longest minute in the world passes before my phone pings in reply.
Even if you didn’t, you showed
someone those photos and that
video. You told someone the info
about me and about Chase.
I’m turning off my phone.
Don’t contact me again
My face crumples and I let out a loud sob, shoving my phone in my bag and then leaning my head in my hands, wishing I could go back in time. I wish I’d never let Layla near my phone. I wish that when I’d been speaking to Nina on the phone, that I had kept my voice down. That I hadn’t reacted so dramatically to what she was telling me to the point where I repeated her words out loud for anyone to overhear. I wish I hadn’t been so naive when Layla said that I could go and look after Nina. By then, she and Sophie had everything they needed to cause this media storm and make our website a big hit.
As the train pulls into Liverpool Street station, I want to get on one right back to Norwich, head home and never leave my room again. But when I get off the train and go through the barriers, Nina is standing there, waiting for me.
I walk over to her and she doesn’t say anything; she just pulls me into a hug. We stand like that for ages. When she pulls away, she can’t help but laugh as she realizes we’re both crying.
‘Look at us,’ she says, getting out a tissue and handing it to me. ‘We’re such a mess.’
‘Nina, you must be so angry at me.’
‘No.’ She shakes her head. ‘I know you didn’t write those stories.’
‘Layla tricked me.’
‘I guessed that already,’ she says. ‘We have a lot to talk about. I know a great cafe nearby, if you’re up for a hot chocolate?’