by Katy Evans
Do I want to know?
Being around William puts me on edge. He makes me feel like there’s always something to be nervous about, even when he’s not saying or doing anything. The tension in my shoulders won’t leave until I go home today, but now that we’re on slightly better terms, I allow my guard to slip a little.
Moments later there’s a plate in front of me, and a tantalizing smell coming from it. The cheese is still bubbling from the heat, the bread is toasted to perfection and my stomach rumbles loudly. William catches my eye with a soft smile. Will I ever get used to this kind of civility from him?
“Hungry?”
“Starving.”
“Eat up while it’s hot.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I pick up my sandwich, letting it burn my fingers. I don’t wait for it to cool down before I shove some in my mouth. I almost groan with pleasure, even when it burns my tongue.
“Doesn’t everything just taste better when you’re hungry?” I say through a mouthful of toast. William sits down, picking at his own grilled cheese.
“So, you’re saying if you weren’t hungry right now, my cooking would be unsatisfactory?”
I roll my eyes and smile. “I’m sure it would still be the best grilled cheese I’ve ever tasted.”
William awkwardly takes a mocking bow in his seat. “Why, thank you.” He pauses. “Maybe I should get back into cooking again. My ex loved it when I cooked for her.”
I blink in surprise. Somehow it’s kind of impossible to imagine William having a relationship. He may be hot, but he’s also annoying as hell. Maybe that’s the reason he’s single now.
“Well, what did you cook for her?”
“Everything. She was a big foodie. She loved trying foreign cuisines. Thai food was a big favorite of hers.” He pauses, staring at his hands. “I guess after a while together, I got lazy. Once the business really took off, I had less time and stopped doing nice things for her. Typical, right?”
It does sound typical of him. Classic workaholic. But he looks so sad right now that I don’t want to make it any worse. After all, he’s made an effort today. Maybe I should do the same. I take a deep breath, trying to think of a way to distract him.
“If it makes you feel better, my ex left me because I gave him food poisoning.”
William raises his eyebrow a little. “Really? That doesn’t seem like a reason to leave someone for good.”
“Perhaps not...except it happened, like, three times. I’m a terrible cook. Every time I made him dinner, he’d spend the evening crouched over the toilet bowl.”
William chuckles. “Sounds like you’re a dream girlfriend, Miss Crowley.”
For whatever reason, the comment makes me blush. William looks a little flushed too. We’ve gone from being enemies to joking about relationships. Is this conversation flirtatious? And if it is, am I encouraging my boss to flirt with me?
I cough pointedly and then shove the rest of my sandwich into my mouth. “That was so good,” I mumble. I chew fast and swallow. Now that things have gotten awkward, I want nothing more than to get out of here. “I guess I should get back to work.”
William frowns. “You still have half an hour of your lu—”
“It’s okay. I feel like getting more work in. I’ll see you back in the office.”
I’ve never seen William look so confused. Frowning, he runs a hand through his gorgeously disheveled hair—something I need to thank Rosie for.
“I mean...okay. See you in a bit.”
I can’t leave the room fast enough. What’s wrong with me? We’re finally getting along and all of a sudden I can’t handle a bit of banter? And then I realize the shift that’s happened in me. I realize why I couldn’t bear to stay.
I was actually starting to like being around him.
Ten
William
This day has been a roller coaster, to say the least. Spending time with India in the intimate space of my home has really messed with my head. One second she’s cracking jokes, winding me up and making an effort to get along. The next she gives me the cold shoulder. I wonder if this hot-and-cold treatment is my fault. I suppose I spent most of the time being cold to her. Cold because I didn’t want to feel the opposite way about her. Now I’ve got a taste of my own medicine.
She left an hour ago without properly saying goodbye. My chauffeur took her home. Now I suppose she’s sitting in her apartment, telling her roommate what a nightmare I am. I mean, at least I tried today. At least I made an effort to change. And for the most part, all she did was reject every effort of mine.
I don’t care. Honestly.
I hear Rosie starting to fuss in her crib. I sigh wearily. I’m now at the level of exhaustion where my vision has blurred, and nothing feels quite real to me. But as Rosie’s cries intensify, I revive a little and head off to tend to her. Unfortunately I have a feeling it’s going to be another long night.
Rosie’s kicking her legs in the air, her face flushed as she cries out for attention. I scoop her up and rock her gently. I try to take India’s advice and stay calm, hoping it will soothe Rosie, but it doesn’t appear to be enough. Either that or I’m doing something wrong. I bob her up and down, closing my eyes to try to block out her fussing.
This whole thing is a disaster. Why did I think it would be a good idea to bring India back in to work for me? Sure, I didn’t have much of a choice. But now that we have spent our first day together, it’s clear that she’s too much of a handful. She only ever brings me trouble. Pushes my buttons. All the wrong ones. Hell, every single one.
I tell myself I don’t want her near me. So why am I standing here now, wishing she’d come back?
I opened up to her. I told her things that I haven’t spoken to anyone about. I guess when you keep everything in for so long, you need to have some kind of outlet, but speaking to her of all people? It seems like a bad idea the more I think about it. First off she’s my employee. Second off she’s a troublemaker. Third off I should know better than to think we’re friends.
From now on, I’ll keep it professional. I’ll keep to myself. But that probably won’t stop me from thinking of her.
I snap out of my thoughts and realize that Rosie has quietened down. She’s dozing in my arms. I sigh with relief. If only it was always so simple to get her to sleep. I gently put her back in her crib and she still doesn’t wake up. I wonder if I might finally be able to get some sleep, but as I’m heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth, my phone vibrates.
I sigh. It can be only one person. I get my phone out and answer the call. Video chat pops up on my screen.
“Hey, Kit.”
“Brother!” Kit exclaims with a huge grin. He looks fresher already. He’s in a bright room and I can hear soft music in the background. “Turns out Alex’s sister had a broken wrist. She’s out of the hospital and relaxing at home, so Alex and I are finally on that honeymoon.” He beams, and a part of me resents him for looking so fresh while I’m beat, taking care of his daughter. “Just checking in from our lovely hotel. You look shattered, mate.”
I attempt a smile, trying not to yawn. “Nah, I’m okay. I mean, I’m tired, but it’s been a busy day.”
“Yeah? You managed to fit your work schedule around our little princess?”
“Just about.”
“Is she sleeping now?”
“Yeah, I’ve just put her back to bed.”
“Dude, you’re a dream babysitter. Though I admit, she does have a tendency to wake up at 3:00 a.m. and go full-on riot mode. There’s a reason they call it the witching hour.”
I nod absentmindedly. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine. I’ll work around it.”
Kit raises an eyebrow. “You okay, bro? Got something on your mind?”
I shrug. “It’s just been a bit of a weird day. My assistant and I...well, we don’t usually have to spen
d so much time together.”
Kit grins. “Let me guess. You’ve spent a little more time in her company and you’re starting to think there’s chemistry there.”
My heart freezes. Is it that obvious? Kit laughs at my expression.
“Dude, you forget that I’ve been through the same thing. When Alex and I first started spending time together, there were mixed signals everywhere. It’s just natural. You’re both attractive people. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
But what if I want it to? I ask myself. What if what I’ve been feeling today, this crazy need to be around her more, is a chemical reaction to her presence? What if it’s been so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be interested in someone? Is that what this is?
What if I’m sick and tired of ignoring this pull to her, this curiosity about her?
I rub at my eyes. I must just be overtired. This is ridiculous. “There’s nothing going on, man. It’s just a long day. She’s a handful.”
“Who? Rosie or India?”
I snort. “I’ll leave that to you to figure out.”
Kit laughs, throwing his head back. “Women, eh?”
“I can hear you guys, you idiots,” Alex says in the background. He grins, glancing over his shoulder.
“Well, everyone knows you’re a nightmare, honey. No point in denying that.”
Alex throws a pillow at Kit and he laughs, dropping his phone to tackle her. Though the screen has gone black on the call, I can hear the pair of them laughing, presumably wrestling with one another. My smile fades. They sound happy. I can’t help being envious of them right at this moment. I want what they have. And part of me wonders if this could be me and India.
The thought shocks me.
More shocking than the thought itself is the fact that it appeals to me.
Kit returns to his phone, breathless and smiling madly. He tries to catch his breath, but he’s still laughing, shaking his head to himself.
“Hey, I’m gonna go. Kiss Rosie good-night from us. Let us know if you have any problems, yeah?”
“I mean...yeah, cool. Good night. I’ll—”
The line goes dead before I can finish up. I’m surrounded by silence. Even Rosie isn’t making a peep. I sigh, heading to the bathroom in a daze to brush my teeth. It’s like I’m in a trance. And all I can think of is India Crowley.
This whole thing is ridiculous. I need to get it out of my system. I need to get her out of my system.
After turning on the shower and taking off my clothes, I step under the stream of water. I lift my head up and let the water wash over my face, my thoughts drifting. I think of the curl of her lip when she’s about to say something sassy. I think of the way her collarbone protrudes from under her shirts. I imagine how she looks when she bends down to pick up a pen she’s dropped. Little things I’ve been seeing all this time, but trying to never pay attention to.
I can picture her now, in the shower with me—her hair dampened by the water, a little makeup smudged on her face, her breasts covered in suds... I stop myself. The hot rush of water on my scalp snaps me back to reality. I know fantasizing about my assistant should feel wrong. But somehow it doesn’t, which is even more unsettling.
What the hell is India doing to me?
Eleven
India
Arriving home from work, it feels as though everything has changed. It’s later than I usually get home, but I don’t mind so much. The car ride has given me time to think things over. To contemplate why William has gotten me in such a state. I’ve spent the past few hours feeling breathless, heart racing, palms sweating. I feel sick to my stomach, but in a way that isn’t entirely horrible. It’s a welcome feeling because I know it comes from a good place.
I think I’m developing a crush.
How long has it been since I felt this way? It’s been a while. But this is crazy. Why am I going for a guy who has been making me miserable for over a year? Does it really take only one day for him to turn all of that around and make me fall for him? Or is it possible that we’ve just been acting out because we thought we had to keep our distance from each other?
Have we been misunderstanding each other this entire time?
Pushing back at each other to resist this pull between us?
It’s on my mind for sure as I enter the apartment. Montana is on the sofa, with her hair wrapped up in a towel as she watches TV. She grins when she spots me.
“There you are, you little hard worker! How was it? Was it awful?”
I collapse onto the sofa in a daze. “Actually, no. It really wasn’t.”
Montana sits up straighter. She can always sense a shift in my mood, and right now she can see I’ve got gossip to spill. “What happened? Did he come on to you or something?”
I shake my head vigorously. “Of course not. He’s my boss. It would be totally inappropriate.”
“So is bullying your assistant to the point where she quits, right? So it’s not like he’s known for nice, appropriate behavior.”
“It’s nothing like that—I swear. He was perfectly civil.”
“Then, what happened?”
I shake my head. “I can’t really describe it. Everything was just...different.”
“In a good way?”
I sigh dreamily. “Yes. In a very good way.”
Montana frowns at me. “Okay, you’re starting to freak me out with this vagueness. Spill the beans right now.”
I twirl a strand of hair around my finger, refusing to look Montana in the eye. She’s scarily intense when she’s trying to get information out of me. “I just have a really good feeling about the next couple weeks, you know? I think maybe I got him entirely wrong.”
“What makes you say that? Are you implying that you’ve been overreacting to him this whole time?”
“No, not really. I just think there’s another side to him. A side that’s not really visible in the office. He’s proved today just how sweet and caring he can be.”
“What, so one day of him acting innocent and you’re convinced he’s the perfect gentleman? India, did you hit your head on the way home or something? You’re acting like a lovesick teenager.”
I close my eyes with a smile. “It was just a good day, okay? I feel good about the whole thing.”
Montana folds her arms, looking like a stern mother. “Listen to me, India. It’s great that you and William have sorted out your differences or whatever. I’m happy for you—really. But please be careful. Men like him...they can manipulate you to feel a certain way. I just don’t want you to fall into a trap.”
“A trap? Really?”
“I’m serious. You don’t know what his intentions are. He’s got you alone in his house for two weeks. He might be trying to get you to sleep with him.”
“He’s babysitting his niece! He has to work from home. He can’t exactly bring a baby into Walker Industries with him, can he?”
“I’m just saying, he might be using this as an opportunity to take advantage.”
“If you knew him, you would realize that’s ridiculous. He’s, like, the least flirtatious man I’ve ever met. Just because I think there’s some chemistry there, it doesn’t mean that anything is going to happen. Besides, he’s my boss. I’d never allow that to happen.”
“It’s just all a little unusual, Indy. You must be able to see that. I’m just worried about you being screwed over or something. You know I’d never want anything bad to happen to you.”
I smile gently. “I know, Mon. I appreciate you looking out for me—I really do. But I think it’s okay. It’s just a silly little crush I’ve got on him, that’s all. It’s not going to lead anywhere, even if I wanted it to.”
Montana nods, but she still looks a little concerned. “I mean, okay. I believe you. But I just want you to keep your wits about you.”
I nod, standing up. This conversation has dampened my mood considerably. All of a sudden I just want to be alone. “Yeah, of course. I think I’ll grab a shower and head to bed. I’ve had a long day.”
Montana stares at me. “Indy, is everything okay?”
“Of course.”
“Do you want—”
“Everything’s fine,” I assure her, faking a smile. Then I leave the room before she can question me more.
I get in the shower with my head in a whirl. Of course, as usual Montana is completely right. Why should I place any weight on these feelings after everything William has done? Why should I trust a man who has given me no reason to believe he’s anything but a jerk up until today? How do I know his game anyway? Maybe this happens with him all of the time. Maybe he switches on the charm just to get women to like him and then returns to his usual self and starts pushing them around again after he gets his way. I don’t want to believe it, but it’s a possible scenario.
I shower for a long time, hoping the hot water will knock some sense into me. It doesn’t. I head to bed, feeling tense and frustrated. I feel aroused, though I can’t figure out why. Maybe it’s because everything between William and me always seems to balance on a knife-edge. I never know what I might get when I’m around him. It keeps me on my toes. And now that the balance is shifting, it’s getting me hot and bothered.
I wonder if he feels it too. I wonder if at lunch today he sensed my attraction to him. I wonder if he knows he’s winning at his little game.
Was I lying to Montana? Would I let anything develop if the opportunity arose? I want to believe I’d do the right thing. But as I snuggle my pillow and imagine I’m snuggling against his wide, strong chest, I’m not sure I was telling the truth.
My body feels tense. I can’t stop remembering how close he was. Remembering the way he smells so clearly that it makes my mouth water and my body ache. I turn my pillow over and close my eyes. My whole body feels charged and buzzed. I imagine him kissing me.
I impulsively nuzzle my pillow as if it was his face and I nearly jolt. The physical contact of anything against my lips shocks me. It’s been a while since I felt this sexual. I picture his fingers exploring my body, and I wish it was happening for real. I shouldn’t be wanting this, feeling this hot. I shouldn’t be fantasizing about my boss. But I can’t help it. I want to. I want...him.